T6E11: “The Perfect Dress”

LUKE

What in the hell do you think you're doing?

KIRK

I was just getting some coffee.

LUKE

You came behind my counter.

KIRK

I saw Lorelai do it the other day.

LUKE

Lorelai is my fiance.

KIRK

So only people you're sleeping with are allowed to go behind the counter?

LUKE

Yes.

KIRK

Well... I don't really know you that well, Luke. I mean, I know what you do for a living, and I know you're a Scorpio, and you smell OK, but we've never really connected on a deeper level...

LUKE

Get out from behind my counter, Kirk.

KIRK

Well, now it's a definite "no". (goes back to his table as Lorelai and Rory enter the diner holding some bags)

LORELAI

Oh, my God. Look who's back.

RORY

Well, I believe it's those adorable Gilmore Girls.

LORELAI

My, how we have missed them.

RORY

I hear they're different now. (Luke comes up to them) A little sad.

LORELAI

A little broke.

LUKE

Don't you two believe in jet lag?

LORELAI

No way. We're still flying on the Atlantic City buzz. Hey, (they kiss) handsome. Were you bad while I was gone?

LUKE

I was. I went to bed every night at 10:15.

LORELAI

Grandpa! what am I gonna do with you?

RORY

Hey, Luke. (they hug)

LUKE

Hey, Rory. (they all start walking over to a table to sit)

LORELAI

We, on the other hand, have not been to bed at all since we left.

RORY

We did fall over once, though.

LUKE

Did you have a good trip?

RORY

I believe it was the best belated 21st-birthday party on record. (they sit, and Lorelai sips some coffee, that the Asian looking waiter who's always in the background brought over)

LORELAI

What's different?

RORY

No kalua.

LORELAI

Oh, right. Which reminds me. (to Luke) Sorry about all the drunken late-night phone calls.

LUKE

What drunken late-night phone calls?

LORELAI

Uh, so, um, do you want to hear about all the things we can tell you about our trip?

LUKE

I'm not sure.

LORELAI

OK, well first of all, video poker is my calling. (Luke goes over to sit on one of the chairs at the girls? table) I think I'm totally gonna dedicate my life to it. Especially the third machine in the second row of machines as you hit the entrance of Trump Taj Mahal.

RORY

I'm more of a roulette girl myself.

LORELAI

And we did the whole thing up right, you know. We did the martinis at the blackjack table.

RORY

And we pretended I was turning 21 while we were playing 21.

LORELAI

And we actually won and bought our 21 items.

RORY

Shot glasses, glow-in-the-dark coasters, salt and pepper shakers, pasties.

LORELAI

Oh, and look. (gets out a piece of paper and hands it over to Luke)

LUKE

What's that?

RORY

21 guys' phone numbers.

LORELAI

I must say I'm pretty proud of how quickly we got them and also of the fact that no one questioned us when we said our names were Wendy and Lisa.

LUKE

Uh, huh. So, tell me, how was Paul Anka, the person, not the dog?

LORELAI

We didn't get to see him.

LUKE

Why not? It's all you talked about.

RORY

The billboard was old and his show had actually closed a week before we got there.

LUKE

So, who'd you end up seeing?

LORELAI

Well, it came down to Journey without their original lead singer, INXS without their original lead singer, Queen without their original lead singer, the Supremes without Diana, and, weirdly, the James Brown band without James Brown.

RORY

But we wound up seeing Tony Danza, who was sublime.

LORELAI

Oh, the tap dancing.

RORY

Why "Taxi" never utilized his musical-comedy skills is astonishing.

LUKE

Sounds great.

LORELAI

Oh, and we snagged you a Paul Anka T-shirt. (gets the T-shirt out to show Luke)

RORY

Had some left over.

LORELAI

(in a fake seductive tone) Wear it tonight.

LUKE

(takes the T-shirt) OK. I'm making you burgers. (about to get up)

LORELAI

Wait, wait. You haven't seen the best part yet.

LUKE

What?

RORY

Oh! We were walking...

LORELAI

Well, sort of walking, sort of drunk girls in high heels stumbling.

RORY

... down the street, and we see this guy.

LORELAI

And, Luke, my hand to God, it's you. (Luke seems surprised)

RORY

It's totally you. Luke 2.0.

LORELAI

We came face-to-face with your doppelganger, my friend.

RORY

So we followed him.

LORELAI

Yeah, 'cause we had to. And he went into this nightclub, so we followed him.

RORY

'Cause we're now stalkers obsessed with getting his picture.

LORELAI

So we follow him through this kinda grungy place. And he goes backstage.

RORY

'Cause he's in the biz.

LORELAI

Yeah. So we sneak behind the curtain, and we track him down. And we told him all about you, and then I showed him your picture, and he totally freaked out.

RORY

Wait I got it. (takes a picture out of a bag and hands it to Luke. He takes it and looks at it)

LORELAI

Luke, I want you to meet Derek McKinney, your twin separated at birth.

LUKE

(shows them the picture) This is a man dressed like Dolly Parton.

RORY

You should hear him do "Jolene". Amazing.

LUKE

You think I look like a guy dressed as Dolly Parton?

LORELAI

No, I mean a little less with the makeup, but check out the chins. (start pointing from Luke to the picture)

LUKE

I'm gonna get your burgers. (gets up and goes to the kitchen)

LORELAI

He missed us.

RORY

Definitely.

RORY

Mom, I got to go!

LORELAI

(comes out of the house and runs over to Rory holding a paper bag) Hold on. Wait. I'm coming. Here's sustenance for the road.

RORY

For the very long thirty-minute drive back to school? (takes the bag and walks over to the car) Thank god. I don't think I would have made it. (opens the car door to put the bag in)

LORELAI

Do you have everything?

RORY

I think so. (gasps) Oh, no! (starts to throe out of the car a bunch of boxes)

LORELAI

What? What are you doing? Why do you hate the boxes?

RORY

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! (takes out her Community Service vest) I accidentally forgot to turn in my community-service vest.

LORELAI

So?

RORY

So? This vest belongs to the state. I have now stolen state property. They're gonna give me community service for stealing my community-service vest.

LORELAI

OK freaky link. Hand me the vest. I will personally deliver it to the state. OK? What's next on your agenda?

RORY

I'm just gonna head straight over to Paris' apartment.

LORELAI

I can't believe you're gonna live with Paris again... again.

RORY

Hey, she's got an empty room, and the price is right. And all the housing on campus is taken, so it's that or a cardboard box.

LORELAI

OK, but how big a cardboard box?

RORY

After I dump my stuff at Paris's, I have to hit campus. I still have some class begging to do. I have to add two courses to my schedule if I'm gonna make up all the work I've missed this year.

LORELAI

You don't have to make up everything right away.

RORY

I do if I want to graduate the same time I would have before the detour. Anyway, I have tons of books to buy. I have a meeting with the Dean. Oh, and, of course, I have a meeting with the school psychologist.

LORELAI

Oh, uh. Back up. I'm sorry. You... A meeting with who?

RORY

I told you about this.

LORELAI

No, you did not.

RORY

Every student who unexpectedly takes time off and wants to come back has to have a one-time meeting with the school psychologist.

LORELAI

You did not tell me this.

RORY

I did too.

LORELAI

No you did not, because I would have remembered if you told me you had to have your head shrunk.

RORY

It's just a formality. They just want to make sure I'm stable and that everything's cool.

LORELAI

I can't believe you're going to a therapist. You know they're totally gonna ask you about me.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

They always want to ask about your mother. It's OK. Say whatever you want. But make sure you start with, "My mother's very hot"...

RORY

Yes, that won't seem at all disturbing to the doctor. I have to get going. (picks up the boxes she threw out and puts them back in the car)

LORELAI

I don't want you to go.

RORY

Mum!

LORELAI

No! You just got here.

RORY

But you're gonna come see me in three days.

LORELAI

I know, but with our stupid fight, I got cheated this year. (they start walking over to the drivers door)

RORY

I know. Me too.

LORELAI

OK. (they hug) All right. That's enough affection for you. Paul Anka, come say goodbye.

RORY

I haven't seen him all morning.

LORELAI

Paul Anka! Oh, well, I guess he doesn't like you better than me.

RORY

A fickle pooch, that one.

LORELAI

Well, he knows who pours the kibble. (points to herself)

RORY

Well say goodbye to him for me, and I'll call you tonight.

LORELAI

OK. Bye. (they kiss goodbye and Lorelai notices something in the car) Hey!

RORY

What? (turns around to look. It's PA) He does like me better!

LORELAI

Oh, you put bacon in your laundry.

RORY

Paul Anka likes me better. Paul Anka likes me better.

LORELAI

First Tony Danza tosses you the corsage, and now this. (Rory opens the car door, and PA comes out) Get out here, you. Yeah. That's right. Avoid my glance there, buddy.

RORY

It's the sugar-on-the-toe thing. A dog never forgets his first sugar toe.

LORELAI

I thought you had a million things to do today.

RORY

Hmm. Suddenly not so sad to see me go, huh?

LORELAI

What? No. Don't be a stranger. Bye-bye. (start to sorta push her in the car)

RORY

Bye, Paul Anka. If you squint really hard, she kind of looks like me.

LORELAI

Take off, lady. (Rory gets in the car and starts to drive away. Lorelai waves and PA gets up starts barking and following the car as Rory drives off) Hey, Judas, get back here right now! (runs after PA)

SOOKIE

So, what are your initial thoughts about your wedding?

LORELAI

Well... it should be legal.

SOOKIE

Good. OK. And after that?

LORELAI

After that, I'm out.

SOOKIE

Oh! How about a hometown wedding? Town square, ceremony in the gazebo.

LORELAI

Gaze-blah.

SOOKIE

OK. Boring. I got it. How about a church wedding?

LORELAI

Maybe.

SOOKIE

Ooh, a beach wedding, huh? No shoes, Luke can wear shorts.

LORELAI

No. But I want to be with you when you pitch the shorts idea to Luke.

SOOKIE

OK, no consensus on the locale. Let's move on to the dress.

LORELAI

OK

SOOKIE

Any thoughts?

LORELAI

There should be one.

SOOKIE

OK. Doing great here. (Luke comes up to their table)

LUKE

Um, are you gonna eat that cake?

LORELAI

Why, you want it?

LUKE

Well, it's just sitting there. It doesn't look like you're gonna eat it.

LORELAI

Oh, my god. You want our table don't you?

LUKE

Yeah, we're swamped.

LORELAI

Luke, I'm your fiance. That doesn't buy me a little extra table time?

LUKE

You've been sitting there for two hours.

LORELAI

We're planning our wedding.

LUKE

Well, plan it at the counter.

LORELAI

You want a counter-planned wedding, seriously?

LUKE

(calling back at the kitchen) Coming right up. (back at Lorelai) Forget I said anything.

LORELAI

Yeah. (Luke walks away)

SOOKIE

(looking at a magazine) Hey, that's a pretty dress.

LORELAI

Hum... Maybe. It's very white.

SOOKIE

You don't want to wear white?

LORELAI

Uh, maybe. I'm not sure. (Luke comes back up to the table)

LUKE

Of course you're gonna wear white. Brides wear white. That's the rule.

LORELAI

Says who?

LUKE

Well, uh, you have to wear white. My mother wore white. Her mother wore white.

SOOKIE

Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke! Do you know who I am?

LUKE

Of course I know who you are.

SOOKIE

Who am I, Luke?

LUKE

You're Sookie.

SOOKIE

No, Luke. I'm not "Sookie." I'm "Sookie B-F-O-T-B".

LUKE

What?

SOOKIE

Best Friend Of The Bride. It is my responsibility to help plan this event. To talk through all the details, to taste the cake and pick the invitations, and to keep you, the fiance of the bride, from having to pretend to be interested in things that he has no interest in.

LUKE

I have an int...!!!

SOOKIE

No you don't!

LUKE

I have an interest!!

SOOKIE

B-F-O-T-B.

LUKE

But I'm not... !!!

SOOKIE

AaaHhh!!

LANE

Luke, your turkey melt is up.

SOOKIE

Oh! Luke, your turkey melt's up.

LUKE

Fine. (walks away)

LANE

Refills?

LORELAI

Yes. See, I can make decisions. (Lane starts to our coffee)

LANE

What's all this?

SOOKIE

We are planning a wedding.

LANE

Oh, super. Well, at least there'll be cake. (walks away)

LORELAI

Well, it's nice that my outlook on life is sunnier than a 21-year-old'S.

SOOKIE

OK, let's start with something simple. A date for the wedding.

LORELAI

OK, that does sound simple.

SOOKIE

Now, some people have mentioned some conflicts, and I think we should take those into consideration.

LORELAI

OK

SOOKIE

Miss Patty is going to be in Baja the first two weeks in April. And Babette said the last two weeks in April are bad because her cat's expecting kittens.

LORELAI

That little tramp.

SOOKIE

Michel's bad every Saturday from now until February, because he signed up for his booty boot camp again. Kirk has no conflicts, but Lulu is going to Florida sometime between May 15th and June 1st. (Luke overhearing comes back up to their table)

LUKE

Yes... who's Lulu?

LORELAI

Kirk's girlfriend.

LUKE

Yeah, we're not moving wedding plans around for people whose last names I don't even know.

SOOKIE

Luke!

LUKE

WHAT!?

SOOKIE

Who am I?

LUKE

Aw, geez. (walks away)

PARIS

Apartment 5 is Mrs.Holiday. She steals mail. Apartment 6 is the chilli cheese boys. Take the description at face value. I don't know who's in apartment 7 because meeting 5 and 6 was enough "it takes a village" for me. Here we are, apartment 8. (walks to the apartment door)

RORY

8 is great. (follows Paris)

PARIS

OK, now, you have to unlock the middle bolt first... the bottom bolt second... the top lock third... the bottom lock fourth. You got to kick the door twice. And that's it. (explains while demonstrating)

RORY

Wow, you really have to earn it, huh?

PARIS

It's just a precaution. It isn't really necessary. This neighborhood is only as scary as you make it. Those guys downstairs, they just look deadly. Believe me, they don't bother you if you don't bother them. When you have guests over, just tell them they're a Doo-Wop group.

PARIS

We keep the door fully locked, (starts locking the door) even when we're home. We actually added the chains after there were a couple of break-ins on the street, but we've never had any trouble. We've actually got a very sophisticated crime-prevention system set up here. When we leave, we always keep the radio on, rush Limbaugh of course, so they know we have guns in the house. The lights are all on a timer, so don't touch the switches, and there's a motion detector in the hallway, so don't freak out when it goes on at night. Now, over here is our trusty dog, Bloodhound. (presses play on a tape recorder and we hear barking) Excellent for magazine pushers and pamphlet bearers of all types.

RORY

You've got it all covered.

PARIS

Pretty much. That's our room. That's your room. They're both the same size, but we have an extra window 'cause Doyle has dreams about walls collapsing in on him, so he needs to sleep near glass. (a loud noise startles Rory)

RORY

Oh, my god! Were those gunshots?

PARIS

No, that was just a car backfiring. The real gunfire actually sounds fake. You'll pick it up eventually. They call it "ghetto ear."

RORY

Something to look forward to.

PARIS

Now, Doyle sleeps very deeply, so don't worry about the hours. I, as you know, haven't slept through the night since the first time I saw "The Wizard Of Oz", thank you Mum, so I tend to do my crafts in the middle of the night, but the walls are very thick. You won't hear a thing. Oh, now, the hot water in the bathroom... (Doyle comes out of their room and starts to attack Paris throwing her on the floor)

DOYLE

AAAAAHHHH!!!! (they wrestle a bit rolling around on the floor as Rory observes a bit stunned. Doyle eventually pins Paris down) Aha! You let your guard down, Geller, and I did it. I got the best of you.

PARIS

I was giving a tour!

DOYLE

Admit your defeat!

PARIS

Never. Rematch.

DOYLE

Challenge accepted. (releases her and they both get up)

PARIS

Helmets on.

RORY

What are you doing? What's going on? (Paris and Doyle start getting some protection wear out of a trunk and start to put them on)

PARIS

When we moved into the neighbourhood, we thought it would be good to take some self-defence classes.

DOYLE

Krav Maga, official self-defence, hand-to-hand combat style of Israel.

RORY

Oh.

DOYLE

Krav Maga is not about being a tough guy or fighting in a ring. It's about going home alive, no matter what.

PARIS

And it's the rush. (now both in full gear)

DOYLE

Pads on.

PARIS

Attack on 3. 1... 2... (they start to fight)

RORY

OK, I'm gonna go get the rest of my stuff, so I'm just gonna... (as they fight Paris gets Doyle in a headlock)

DOYLE

Ugh! Steinbeck! Steinbeck!

PARIS

That's not your safety word.

DOYLE

(with a manoeuvre pins Paris down again) I know. It's "Saroyan".

PARIS

You've been practicing behind my back. I love you. (Rory exits)

SOOKIE

3418. 3418. Did we pass 3418?

LORELAI

Boy, this is some weak coffee.

SOOKIE

Maybe I wrote it down wrong. "Across the street from a butcher". Or a "barber". Or a "Barbara". "Across the street from a Barbara". Ooh, I wonder if it's a famous Barbara, like Streisand or Mandrell.

LORELAI

OK, I give. (throws the coffee away)

SOOKIE

Oh, I think we passed it. This was supposed to be the best place to find wedding invitations, and now we've passed it!

LORELAI

And since we passed it, it's just vanished from the face of the earth, never to be seen again. Here. Let me see the paper. (takes the paper from Sookie and reads) Oh, yeah, we passed it.

SOOKIE

Of course we have.

LORELAI

And we're on the wrong side of the street.

SOOKIE

Of course we are. (notices something - a bridal store) Ooh! Look, look.

LORELAI

What? Aw geez!

SOOKIE

Let's go in. (they walk up to the store window)

LORELAI

Why?

SOOKIE

To look at dresses!

LORELAI

Oh, Sookie, I don't even know what kind of dress I want. I may even make my own dress.

SOOKIE

So what? We can just go in and look around.

LORELAI

They're gonna look at us funny.

SOOKIE

What are you talking about? (sing songy voice) You have the golden ticket (points at the ring)

LORELAI

(holding up her left hand) I do, don't I?

SOOKIE

(sing songy voice and bouncing up and down) You have the golden ticket on your hand

LORELAI

Alright, alright. You're gonna stop singing when we go inside, right? Otherwise, they really will look at us funny. (they enter the store)

LORELAI

Wow. There's a lot of white.

SOOKIE

(picks up a ugly dress from a rank) Ooh! Try this on. I dare you.

LORELAI

I think this is the one Divine turned down for being too over-the-top. (Sookie puts the dress back) Are we allowed to touch these?

SOOKIE

I don't know. Do you see anyone here?

LORELAI

No (looks around the store and notices something)

SOOKIE

Maybe they're in back. Maybe they've been taken hostage by the tulle. (Lorelai start walking towards a dummy dressed in a wedding dress) Where are you going? (Sookie follows) What are you doing?

LORELAI

Look.

SOOKIE

Pretty.

LORELAI

Not pretty. It's perfect. It's the perfect dress.

SOOKIE

Really? You think?

LORELAI

I don't believe it. I just turned around, and there it is, the perfect dress.

SOOKIE

It's your size.

LORELAI

The perfect dress is my size. That is weird. (looking around, while Sookie examines the dress) Does anyone work here? (calling out) Hello! Does anyone work here?!

SOOKIE

Oh, my God.

LORELAI

What?

SOOKIE

It's on sale. (the girls looks excited and gasp a bit)

LORELAI

It's the perfect dress. That's it. I'm trying it on. (Sookie squeals, and they both giggle) Oh my God, look at this. (at the dress) Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not looking for anything serious.

LANE

I'm going upstairs. (starts to move towards the staircase)

LANE

I handed people food for six and a half hours. It's every little girl's dream.

LANE

I smell like burgers and fries, so I'll have to shower.

LANE

which means I won't be ready for dinner for at least 45 minutes.

LANE

And you might want to put on your Korean television show. Because I'm gonna listen to music, and it's going to be music that you don't approve of. But I'm 21 now, so I'll listen to the music I like when I like, and that's just the way it's gonna be. (Lane goes upstairs as Mrs.Kim breathes deeply and looks concerned)

RORY

Professor Jolene! Professor Jolene!

RORY

That's OK. Don't slow down. I'll catch up. (runs up to her) Hi. Rory Gilmore. (they talk as they walk)

RORY

And you. Really! I'm actually hoping to get a spot in your class. It was full by the time I got my name in, not that my delay in registering should be taken as lack of enthusiasm.

RORY

So, anyhow, I'm really hoping to score a spot in your class.

RORY

I'm aware of that. I just thought I would start putting in a good word for myself right now. So here's the good word: I'm dying to be in your class. I even bought your book, see (show the books she's holding), the one you wrote for the class. I bought it new, not used, so you get full royalty payment on it.

RORY

I want to be in your class.

RORY

See how much I've learned already?

RORY

I will see you tomorrow. (Prof.Jolene walks away and Rory makes her way to the coffee cart. She comes closer and sees that Logan is sitting, waiting next to the coffee cart. She stops, he gets up)

LOGAN

I knew you'd have to hit the coffee cart eventually. (she turns and walks away. Logan looks disappointed)

LORELAI

Well, we're done.

LUKE

We're done with what?

LORELAI

With the wedding preparations. We're all done. (Lorelai walks over to the counter and leaves the box)

LUKE

What?

LORELAI

I just dropped off a deposit check to the caterer, and I brought you some duck-sausage rolls, by the way. (gives him a small take out box)

LUKE

Duck-Sausage rolls. (he takes the take out container and moves behind the counter)

LORELAI

I know. They sounded weird to me, too, but they're incredible.

LUKE

I don't understand. How did this happen? This morning, you didn't know whether you were gonna wear a white dress or not.

LORELAI

I know. But then Sookie and I went to check out these invitations, you know, and right next door, there was this little bridal shop, and we thought, "Oh, we'll just go in, look around, you know no big deal", you know, just girl fun, right? And I went in, and I turned around, and there it was. The perfect dress.

LUKE

The...

LORELAI

The bodice is this blush-coloured silk tulle, and it has all these little crystal beads on it, and the skirt is a blush silk tulle with a blush silk/satin lining, and the back goes into a train. And, oh, it has a cream, satin sash, so you get a little white in there, which I know is very important to you. I tried it on, and it fit me perfectly, and it was on sale, and so I bought it. And from the minute I bought the dress, everything else fell into place.

LUKE

What does that mean?

LORELAI

Well, the dress is strapless, so, hello, summer wedding. And summer means daisies, so flower choice done. And we went into the stationery store, and there was the perfect daisy invitations, which I know sounds a little girly, but, seriously, there are no macho wedding invitations, so please just give me this one, OK?

LUKE

OK.

LORELAI

OK, so I bought the invitations, the place is running a special. They print the invites and mail them for you and handle the RSVP list, so that's done. Then we go to get some coffee, and in the window of the coffee shop, there is a picture of a beautiful rose-covered church. And I thought, "gee, that's pretty. I wonder where that is". And do you know where it is?

LUKE

No.

LORELAI

Right around the corner from the coffee shop. So we went in and talked to Pastor Todd.

LUKE

Pastor Todd?

LORELAI

And the church is perfect. And out back, there's a separate function hall with these floor-to-ceiling windows and doors that open out. And behind the hall is this old carrousel.

LUKE

A carrousel?

LORELAI

From 1850. And it should be fully restored and working by June 3rd, which, by the way, is the date of our wedding.

LUKE

June 3rd?

LORELAI

Yes. Which is also miraculously a date that absolutely no one in Stars Hollow has a conflict with, and the Pastor was running a special.

LUKE

A special?

LORELAI

Yeah. I rented the church. And he gave me the hall for half price, and he threw in the use of the carrousel for nothing. And his sister runs a catering company, and Sookie blessed it, and so basically that's it, we're done!

LUKE

Huh!

LORELAI

It was so weird how this happened, you know. It's like the dress was a sign or something.

LUKE

There are no signs.

LORELAI

(notices that is started snowing) Oh, my god!

LUKE

What!?

LORELAI

Oh, my god! It started snowing. (Luke starts to walk back to her side of the counter) It started snowing right as I started talking about signs. That, my friend, is a sign.

LUKE

(now on her side of the counter) That is not a sign. That is weather.

LORELAI

No, this is more than weather. This is fate.

LUKE

June 3rd, huh?

LORELAI

June 3rd.

LUKE

That's soon.

LORELAI

I know.

LUKE

It's less than five months away.

LORELAI

I know. (they kiss) OK, I better get this back home before the snow gets any worse. (picks up the box and walk towards the door) Oh, and I picked out your tuxedo. You can stop by the place anytime you want, and they were running a special, so the alterations are free.

PARIS

City beat, Martha Billings. Editorials, Peter Brooke. Sports, Russ Tamblen. Religion beat, Heather Torrance. Religion beat, my former beat. Good luck, Heather. And features, Arlen Sather, Nick Scott, and the returning Rory Gilmore. Also joining our ranks this year, our former editor Doyle McMaster and his new column "the world according to Doyle". It's going to be a great term, people, an important term, a term to change the history of the Yale Daily News. The work will be hard. It has to be hard. Nothing less than perfect will be tolerated. Please remember that I am your editor. I am not your mother or your hugger. If you need some love, get a hooker. If you're having a bad day, find a ledge or a way to deal. My door is not open to you ever. You have five minutes to enjoy your cookies. Welcome to the Yale Daily News. (the meeting breaks up, the staffers go back to their desks as Rory goes up to Paris)

RORY

Thanks for the features beat, Paris.

PARIS

You deserve it. You're a good writer.

RORY

Thank you. And, I know, you're gonna be a great editor.

PARIS

I plan on it.

RORY

Yeah. But, you know, you might want to ease up just a tad.

PARIS

What do you mean?

RORY

You know, the "five minutes for the cookies", the "no talking" signs posted everywhere, the "no decorating your desk" rule, the new demerit system, the locks on the bathroom doors. It's just all a little, um, harsh and restrictive. This is a newsroom. People should be able to talk, yell, joke around...

PARIS

I don't agree.

RORY

... Go to the bathroom.

PARIS

Journalism is an art form, and the best art is created under repression, like Stalin's gulag. You think Solzhenitsyn could have written "One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich" on a yoga retreat?

RORY

Paris, I don't really think...

PARIS

Oh, great. (Rory looks around and we see Logan just entered the news room and greats another staffer) I got a call saying your boyfriend was coming back.

RORY

He's not my boyfriend anymore, Paris. We broke up.

PARIS

Hey, keep your personal stuff at home, OK? I can't be seen caring about this. (calling out to Logan) My door is not open! (gets Logan's attention) Huntzberger! My office, now! (Paris goes to her office and Logan follows her, he tries to great Rory who avoids him. She goes over to her desk and starts collecting her stuff)

PARIS

Sit down, Logan. Let's have a little talk about your future.

LOGAN

Sure, Paris. (Paris goes behind her desk and sits. Logan sits on a chair opposite her)

PARIS

Now, I know you think your sugar daddy runs the world, and that includes this paper, and possibly in the past that was true, but not anymore. You don't scare me. (Logan leans back on his chair to get a clear view of Rory's desk, which he sees is empty) Your daddy doesn't scare me. Your mommy doesn't scare me. If you have a brother, a sister, or a really angry cat, they don't scare me, either. Hey, either spin a plate on your nose while you do that or cut it out, 'cause I am speaking.

LOGAN

Sorry.

PARIS

Oh, you will be. Now let's talk about deadlines, emphasis on "dead".

RORY

So, the elevator's getting fixed on Monday, but I'm thinking I may not even use it 'cause the stairs are excellent exercise. And I love having a hallway. I've never had a hallway before. And I am really lucky that Paris and Doyle hadn't rented out that other room yet. I mean, this location is really in demand.

LORELAI

Really?

RORY

(starts to unlock the door) Oh, yeah. I mean, it is literally 10 minutes from campus. You know how hard I'm gonna have to work to be late for class?

LORELAI

Those guys down there, are they your neighbours?

RORY

Um, no. They're a Doo-Wop group.

LORELAI

Um. (seeing all the locks on the door) You have some plutonium back there or something?

RORY

Uh, no, just Paris, you know. She's quirky. (kicks the door, and opens) OK, welcome to my place.

LORELAI

No.

RORY

Mom, give it a chance.

LORELAI

No.

RORY

Look, we have a really big living room.

LORELAI

Uh, No.

RORY

I know it just looks rundown, but everything works fine.

LORELAI

(looking at the kitchen) No!

RORY

Mom!

LORELAI

No.

RORY

(Lorelai starts to walk around the house) OK, tour's over. Time for lunch.

LORELAI

(pointing at stuff around the house) No.

RORY

Let's go.

LORELAI

(keeps on pointing)No. No. (opens Paris and Doyle's bedroom door. They are fighting, well actually Paris is kicking Doyle?s ass. Lorelai covers Rory's eyes)

DOYLE

Saroyan! Saroyan!

LORELAI

Aah!

LORELAI

No, no, no.

RORY

OK, OK. (they start to exit)

CUSTOMER

It's very nice.

LANE

It's one of a kind.

CUSTOMER

Will you take two fifty?

LANE

For that chair?

CUSTOMER

Well, it does have some nicks.

LANE

That chair is two hundred years old. It's gonna have some nicks. It sat in James Madison's bedroom. This chair is a piece of history. We shouldn't even be allowed to sell it to you.

CUSTOMER

Well, I didn't mean to insult you.

LANE

You didn't insult me. You insulted the chair and the United States of America.

CUSTOMER

All right. Three hundred's fine.

LANE

Forget it.

CUSTOMER

That's what the price tag says.

LANE

The price just went up flag burner. If you want the chair, it's three fifty. If you don't, please leave, because I have a lot of work to do.

CUSTOMER

Well...

LANE

Bye.

CUSTOMER

Three fifty. Here. (starts to get money out of her purse) Do you take cash?

LANE

Exact change only.

CUSTOMER

I don't suppose you have a delivery service. (Lane sternly looks at her) Oh, that's okay. I'll... I'll take it with me right now. (takes the chair and starts to leave. Lane goes off to put the money away. Mrs.Kim come up to her)

LANE

I made the sale, didn't I?

LANE

You always drive a hard bargain.

LANE

OK, then!

LANE

Yeah, me in a minivan. Not in the mood, no matter how exciting the prospect of a $2 tip is.

LANE

Oh, Zach (walk up to him)... Zach! You have a lot of nerve just to walk into my place like this.

ZACH

What are you talking about? This is like a place of business. Maybe I want to buy some antiques.

LANE

Oh, right!

ZACH

You're not wearing your glasses anymore.

LANE

What do you want, Zach?

ZACH

I think you have a CD of mine.

LANE

What CD?

ZACH

You know, the one with like a crazy-looking chick on it.

LANE

I don't have any of your CDs, Zach.

ZACH

I think you do. I can go up to your room and check it out. (start to walk upstairs)

LANE

(stops him) No! Zach, you can't go up to my room and check. I'll look and if I find a CD with a crazy-looking chick on it, I'll mail it to you.

ZACH

Seriously? Let's go upstairs and look now.

LANE

I'm working, Zach.

ZACH

Yeah, I can tell there's a major rush on ancient crap going on her... (Mrs.Kim walks up to assist a customer and notices the scene going on)

LANE

(pushes him towards the door) Bye, Zach!

ZACH

Five minutes, Lane.

LANE

Out, Zach!

ZACH

It's my favourite CD.

LANE

Out!

ZACH

Fine! (he leaves)

LANE

(at the customer) Hey, you break it, you buy it!

LORELAI

Oh, Rory.

RORY

Come on. It's not so bad.

LORELAI

It's "Angela's Ashes".

RORY

It's basic.

LORELAI

It's "Sanford and Son".

RORY

Mom, the neighbourhood is safe. A ton of kids from school live there. And they have a safety van that goes to and from campus, so I don't have to walk home at night.

LORELAI

That wasn't a Doo-Wop group, was it?

RORY

No.

LORELAI

Let's call daddy. Make him pay for an apartment with one lock.

RORY

No. Look, this is the way it's supposed to be. I am in college. Don't you see? I'm supposed to live in a crappy apartment. I'm supposed to eat ramen noodles and mac and cheese for months. I've been living in a pool house with maids and fresh-cut flowers and mints on my pillow every night.

LORELAI

You got to love my mother sometimes.

RORY

This is good and right, and I'm happy, and I have roommates who are learning to kill people, so where is the bad? Now let's talk about you. How are the wedding plans going?

LORELAI

Done.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

All done.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

The dress, the cake, the place, the invitations. June 3rd, by the way.

RORY

Wow.

LORELAI

Yeah. I also bought your dress and shoes.

RORY

How did all this happen?

LORELAI

Well, I found this dress, which, at the time, seemed like the perfect dress, and from the dress, all the other details fell into place. By the end of the day I was done.

RORY

That's great.

LORELAI

Is it?

RORY

Isn't it?

LORELAI

I don't know. Yes, sure, I thought it was. I mean I thought it was a sign or something, you know, finding the dress. And then when, oohh when it started to snow, I was like, "somebody's telling me something".

RORY

So it would seem.

LORELAI

But then I started thinking...

RORY

Uh-oh.

LORELAI

It was all too easy. Planning a wedding shouldn't be easy because marriage isn't easy.

RORY

How do you know? You've never been married.

LORELAI

Exactly.

RORY

"Exactly" what?

LORELAI

I have never been married because it's not easy, and I usually freak out and screw everything up. I freaked out and screwed everything up with Max, remember?

RORY

Yeah, but...

LORELAI

But I haven't freaked out about Luke yet. Why haven't I freaked out about Luke yet? It's my pattern. It's what I do, and then I started freaking out about the fact that I hadn't freaked out.

RORY

Oh, dear! You got caught in the circle of freak out.

LORELAI

What if this dress is really a bad sign, not a good sign? What if the dress is telling me that it's so right, it's wrong?

RORY

Mom!

LORELAI

What if I'm about to bail out and I don't even know it?

RORY

You are driving yourself crazy.

LORELAI

What if all the signs are saying things shouldn't be this easy, that I shouldn't get the guy I want? What if it's like that "Twilight Zone" where the woman on a horse is being chased by another woman on a horse who turns out is older her chasing younger her, trying to tell her that she should not run off with the guy she's going to run off with because it will be a terrible, terrible mistake.

RORY

OK, King George, take a breath, eat a fry, and listen to me. The dress is a good sign. Everything fell into place because it should. It's all right. The dress is right, the date is right, Luke is right. And the snow. Remember the snow? The snow never lies.

LORELAI

I guess.

RORY

Be happy. This is all good.

LORELAI

Thanks. I'm gonna miss you when you're murdered and stuffed into a dumpster by the Doo-Wop group.

RORY

So tell me about my dress.

LORELAI

Two words "hoop skirt"

RORY

Nice.

LORELAI

In a lovely shade of tangerine.

RORY

Excellent.

LORELAI

And the minute I saw it, I thought, "this would totally be Rory if only it had a few more ruffles".

RORY

A fry with your evilness?

LORELAI

Why, thank you.

ANNA

Hello, stranger.

LUKE

Hey. Uh, can... can I come in?

ANNA

Why not?

LUKE

Sorry about barging in on you like that.

ANNA

Hey, it's fine. I'm making tea. You want some tea?

LUKE

Uh, sure. Tea sounds like tea. (Anna goes off to the kitchen to prep the tea)

ANNA

April's not here right now. She's tracking a grub migration. All inquiries stopped after the word "grub".

LUKE

That's okay. I came by to see you, actually.

ANNA

Oh, yeah?

LUKE

Yeah. (looking around the house) You got a lot of stuff here. You sell clothes?

ANNA

Clothes, pillows, candles, fabrics. It's one of those everything kind of boutiques that used to send you in a "what do people need with all this crap?" kind of rant.

LUKE

Oh, yeah. Well, that's nice.

ANNA

(walk up to him and hands him a cup) Thanks. Here.

LUKE

Thanks. (sips) It tastes like tea.

ANNA

Uh, this is weird.

LUKE

I know.

ANNA

It's been a very long time.

LUKE

I know.

ANNA

I actually saw you once about five years ago in the parking lot of some lumberyard.

LUKE

Yeah?

ANNA

Yeah, I waved, but you either didn't see me or didn't want to see me.

LUKE

I didn't see you. I would have waved back, unless I was holding stuff, and then I would have nodded or something.

ANNA

Sure. I'm sure. I thought about you when the Red Sox won.

LUKE

Really?

ANNA

I knew it would be a big day for you.

LUKE

It was.(after a beat) How come you didn't tell me, Anna?

ANNA

Luke...

LUKE

It was a phone call.

ANNA

We should sit down. (they sit)

LUKE

I've been in the same place forever. Haven't moved. You certainly knew how to find me.

ANNA

Luke, come on. We'd already broken up by the time I found out, and I knew how you felt about kids.

LUKE

What do you mean, "how I felt about kids"?

ANNA

You hate kids.

LUKE

I don't hate kids.

ANNA

What are you talking about?

LUKE

I don't!

ANNA

We couldn't go the movies before ten o'clock at night in case there were kids in the theatre.

LUKE

Well, kids talk during a movie, and they throw crap around. They run up and down the aisles. They're animals.

ANNA

We would move tables in a restaurant if they seated us near a family.

LUKE

Only if there was something crying or spitting up.

ANNA

You would flip out if you saw a woman breast-feeding in public, you couldn't stand to watch diaper commercials and you had an unnatural hatred of Macaulay Culkin.

LUKE

OK, fine. I hated kids, but I'm not that guy anymore.

ANNA

Thirteen years ago, you were that guy.

LUKE

It doesn't mean I would have been like that with my kid. I mean even if I would have been like that with my kid, I still had a right to know.

ANNA

I'm sorry.

LUKE

Yeah. Well, you know, I could have helped. I could have helped pay for stuff and take care of things.

ANNA

I didn't need you to pay for stuff or take care of things.

LUKE

This is my responsibility, too. And now that I know, I have to do something.

ANNA

What does that mean? It means I want to offer you whatever assistance I can.

ANNA

I don't...

LUKE

Monetary, of course, and compensation for the past 12 years.

ANNA

But we really don't need anything. It was not my idea for April to call you. It was all her thing. She got obsessed with winning that science contest, and she's really a smart, driven kid. She's already written a short novel, and she's got her own website. So she went through my old letters and put the whole thing together and, frankly, didn't tell me anything about it till way after the fact. I did not send her to you.

LUKE

I know you didn't, but she came to me, and now I know, and I want to help. I'm not talking about contact here. I know you've got your life, here. I don't want to mess things up. I just want to live up to my end of the bargain.

ANNA

You don't owe us anything, Luke. We want for nothing and always have. But if you want to chip in, then, sure, chip in.

LUKE

Really? Great. That's great. That's really... Thank you.

ANNA

Thank you.

LUKE

Yeah. OK, well, that's all I came to say, so... so I guess I'll get going. (they put the cups down and get up)

ANNA

Hey Luke, it was really great seeing you.

LUKE

You too. Tell April "hi" for me. (they start walking to the door)

ANNA

I will do that. Hey, Luke.

LUKE

Yeah?

ANNA

You happy?

LUKE

Yeah.

ANNA

Me too. This is pretty cool, isn't it?

LUKE

Yeah, it is. (he exits)

LOGAN

I brought coffee, but it's cold. (she puts down her stuff without answering him and starts to open the door) It's a nice place you got here. I've been discussing the "baking soda to actual crack" ratio you can get away with your neighbours downstairs. 2 to 1 during the daylight, 3 to 1 at night.

RORY

I have ten minutes to change. Then I have someplace I have to be.

LOGAN

It's gonna take you twenty to unlock your door.

RORY

Bye, Logan.

LOGAN

This place is a dump, Rory. You can't live here.

RORY

(turns around to face him) You don't get to care about where I live anymore, Logan. You broke up with me... through your sister.

LOGAN

I didn't mean for that to happen.

RORY

You're a coward. Mr."Life and Death Brigade" can't even break up with his girlfriend.

LOGAN

Honor was bugging me, and I just told her we broke up to shut her up. I needed some time.

RORY

So you didn't mean it?

LOGAN

No, I did. I just... it was too much for me, OK?

RORY

It was a fight. People fight.

LOGAN

Yeah, well I don't fight, I don't want to be screaming at you at a bar. I can't take that. It's too much drama.

RORY

Well, if you can't take the drama, then you shouldn't even be in a relationship, which, by the way, you're not, so everything's good.

LOGAN

It's not that easy.

RORY

Sure, it is.

LOGAN

You want some help?

RORY

Nope.

LOGAN

I bet one of those guys downstairs could help you out getting into a locked apartment.

RORY

Ugh! (does the kicking the door part of opening the door) Just go be somewhere else, Logan.

LOGAN

(she starts to pick up her stuff) I thought that I wanted to break up. I thought that it was a stupid experiment, me trying to be a boyfriend, that it didn't work, and I'd just move on. And I didn't. Couldn't, actually. (as she's about to go in) Rory... I love you.

RORY

(stares at him for a beat) I have an appointment. I have to go. (she goes in the apartment and leaves Logan outside who's looking a bit upset)

RORY

Sorry I'm late.

RORY

I was just spending some time with my mother, you know. We were apart for a while, so...

RORY

Yeah.

RORY

Nothing major. Just mother/daughter stuff. (the Doc nods, Rory trying to get out of an uncomfortable situation) I don't have to lie down, do I?

RORY

Good. (they sit and the doc take out his notes)

RORY

Boy, we just jumped into this, didn't we?

RORY

No.

RORY

Nothing. We fought. I'm fine. We're fine.

RORY

My, those are some big ears you have there, grandma.

RORY

I was upset.

RORY

About life and things and stuff.

RORY

Yes, I did.

RORY

Great.

RORY

I'm just...I'm sick of talking about it, that's all.

RORY

I'm not agitated. I... So, I spent a night in jail. Big deal. So did Martin Luther King.

RORY

No, I'm not. I just, I'm saying that he spent a night in jail, too.

RORY

Yes, I was.

RORY

About what? He was my boyfriend then, and now he's not.

RORY

No, he's not. We broke up. No. Oh, no. I'm sorry. He broke up. I thought that we were just taking some time, but apparently I'm a moron.

RORY

What, you have his name, too? Super. Do you also have the picture of him hijacking me in my hallway earlier today?

RORY

I mean how fair is that? He's gone, and then he shows up out of the blue. (mimicking Logan's voice) "You can't live here. This place is a dump. And, by the way, I love you". (normal voice) "I love you"?! Is he serious?!

RORY

(getting all worked up and in the verge of tears) Nothing for weeks, and then he just decides that he loves me. So, what happens now? I get another Birkin bag? And how long until he doesn't love me again, huh? (the doc passes her a box of tissues, because she's started to cry. Rory takes the box and takes a tissue) I stole a boat with him! I never stole a boat with Dean!

RORY

My married ex-boyfriend who I lost my virginity to!

RORY

Yeah. I'm a treat. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I-I don't think I can take running into him every day in the halls and the paper and the coffee cart. Oh, my god. I'm gonna have to quit drinking coffee, and I love coffee! (breaking down in tears and gabbing as many tissues as she can, as the doctor looks very concerned) I really love coffee.

LUKE

I feel like an idiot.

KIRK

Just relax, Luke. It should only take a couple more minutes.

LUKE

I've been following you around the town square for half an hour.

KIRK

I know there's a wireless internet hub around here somewhere. Ah! (moves back and forth a bit) No. Encrypted. I used to use the bank's access, but I had to stand right in front of the versa teller machine, and they got very snippy about that. Then Doose's had it for a while, but Taylor but a block on it. It's sad what this world is coming to.

LUKE

You know what, why don't I just find someone who actually has the internet?

KIRK

Hold on. Hold on. We have achieved contact.

LUKE

We have?

KIRK

Yes, courtesy of Stars Hollow Books. (they sit at the edge of the sidewalk) OK. Now, tell me what you need.

LUKE

Uh, I just, uh, need to look up a website.

KIRK

OK. Give me the name, and I'll type it in for you.

LUKE

Well I...

KIRK

Hold on. Is this one of those websites? 'Cause if they'll come after Pete Townsend, no one is safe.

LUKE

Kirk, just tell me what to do, and I'll do it myself.

KIRK

Are you sure?

LUKE

Yes. Just, (takes the laptop) here.

KIRK

OK, give me your hand, (reaches to grab Luke's hand) and I'll guide...

LUKE

(slaps Kirk's hand away) Stop it.

KIRK

Oouii! Alright. Just click here, then type in the name of the website here, then press here.

LUKE

OK.

KIRK

This makes the page go up and down...

LUKE

Yeah, I can figure out the rest, Kirk.

KIRK

Alright. I'll be over here if you need me. (gets up)

LUKE

I've never felt safer in my life. (Luke opens Aprils' site and snoops around a bit. Sees pictures of her -birthdays, with friends, with her uncle in a back brace- and looks very proud, happy and a bit sad)

LANE

Everything's dusted. The receipts are organized. I'm not hungry. I'm going upstairs. (starts to walk up the staircase)

LANE

(picks up the glass and smells the content) Whoa.

LORELAI

Hey, buddy. Yeah, there is something weird about it, right? What? What is it? (Lorelai opens the closet door and PA enters, picks up a shoe and leaves. Lorelai looks resigned with the concept of PA stealing shoes. The phone starts to ring and she picks it up) Hello?

RORY

(on phone) Guess who's crazy.

LORELAI

Who?

RORY

(on phone) Me.

LORELAI

You? Since when?

RORY

Since I went all Frances Farmer in my psychologists evaluation today.

LORELAI

Alright, I'm on the bed and comfortable. Should I get popcorn, or is it a shorter story than that?

RORY

I went home from class to get ready for the appointment, and Logan was there.

LORELAI

At your apartment?

RORY

In the hallway. And, of course, I couldn't get my door open fast enough, so he started talking.

LORELAI

What did he say?

RORY

He said he loved me.

LORELAI

No way.

RORY

And it completely threw me. And I got out of there as fast as I could. But then I got to Dr.Shapiro's office, and he started peppering me with all these questions, and I just got more and more upset. Then I exploded all over the place. I went through two boxes of kleenex, I started hyperventilating, and I had to breathe into a paper bag.

LORELAI

Do you believe him?

RORY

Believe who?

LORELAI

Logan. Do you believe he loves you?

RORY

I don't know. I guess I can figure that out next week in therapy.

LORELAI

What?

RORY

After my little meltdown, Dr.Shapiro thinks I should come see him once a week for the next two months.

LORELAI

You're kidding.

RORY

There are no jokes in the mental-health field, only hand puppets, inkblots, and inflatable anger bats.

LORELAI

I'm so sorry you're a nut.

RORY

That's OK. I'm sure Dr.Shapiro has a nice padded room for me.

LORELAI

Well don't let them put you on any of those pills. Tom Cruise will be very upset.

RORY

Alright. I should go. I have a massive amount of reading to do. I just wanted to call and say "hi".

LORELAI

OK. Remember. Blame it all on Grandma.

RORY

Will do.

LORELAI

Bye.

RORY

Bye. (they hang up)

ANNA

(picks up the phone) Hold on. (throws it on the floor)

LUKE

Hello?

ANNA

Just a sec. Major pillow emergency happening here.

LUKE

What? Anna?

ANNA

(picks the phone from the floor) Sorry. Hi. Who's this?

LUKE

It's, uh, Luke.

ANNA

Luke? Wow, when it rains, it...

LUKE

I saw her website.

ANNA

Her... ?

LUKE

I saw her pictures. The one in the lab and the one with the Christmas tree, and you never told me she wore a back brace. Why was she wearing a back brace?

ANNA

Oh, she had just read "Deenie". It was a phase.

LUKE

Well, still, I should have known.

ANNA

That she had just read "Deenie"?

LUKE

Yes, and that she was going through a phase and was a science wiz and wear crazy bike helmets and glasses and looked like me.

ANNA

Just the nose.

LUKE

The nose is something. I mean, there's no one else running around with my nose.

ANNA

That you know of.

LUKE

Is this funny to you?

ANNA

No. I'm sorry.

LUKE

You should've told me.

ANNA

Luke, we went through all this already. I...

LUKE

I want contact.

ANNA

What?

LUKE

I want a relationship. I want to talk to her and see her on a regular basis.

ANNA

But you said...

LUKE

I don't care what I said. This is what I want. I want to know my own daughter, and I want her to know me.

ANNA

OK.

LUKE

Really?

ANNA

Well, it's really up to April, but if she's cool, then I'm cool.

LUKE

Oh. So, uh, is, uh, April there now?

ANNA

No. But she'll be home pretty soon. Can I have her call you?

LUKE

Yes. No.

ANNA

No?

LUKE

I should call her.

ANNA

She'll definitely be home by eight.

LUKE

Then I will call back at eight.

ANNA

OK.

LUKE

Thanks.

ANNA

You're welcome.

LUKE

Hey, Anna?

ANNA

Mmm?

LUKE

What the hell is "Deenie"?

ANNA

The gospel according to Judy Blume.

LUKE

What?

ANNA

It's a book, Luke. And now would probably be a good time for you to read it. Bye.

LUKE

Bye. (they hang up)

LUKE

Lorelai!

LORELAI

(OS)

Uuuhh, Luke, I'm upstairs!

LUKE

Yeah, uh, can you come down? I have to talk to you about something.

LORELAI

(OS)

OK. Yes, I will come down, but I'm coming down in my wedding dress.

LUKE

What? No!

LORELAI

(OS)

Yes!

LUKE

It's bad luck for me to see the wedding dress.

LORELAI

(OS)

I know, but I need you to see this dress. There's something not right up here. It was too easy. I can't be objective anymore.

LUKE

But...

LORELAI

(OS)

Coming down.

LUKE

But I don't... (stops talking as he sees Lorelai coming down in the dress. She walks up to him)

LORELAI

Well?

LUKE

It's... you're perfect.

LORELAI

Really? Have you seen the back? I think the train's a little weird, and I can take it back if you don't think...

LUKE

It's perfect.

LORELAI

Are you sure? (he reaches out to kiss her and they do) OK. It's not bad luck if it's under five minutes. (she runs up the stairs and Luke is left alone looking upset with himself)