T6E12: “Just Like Gwen and Gavin”

LORELAI

Oh, my god!

LUKE

What is that?

LORELAI

What is... Is it in the house?

LUKE

It's church bells.

LORELAI

Whe... How'd the church bells get in the house?

LUKE

They're outside.

LORELAI

Whe... In the yard?

LUKE

No, at the church. What time is it?

LORELAI

It's three twelve. Why are the church bells ringing at three twelve?

LUKE

I don't know. I was having a dream, too. I was shopping for a car and I wanted to see the trunk space, and... 'cause I have a truck and it's convenient to haul things. So I wanted to see what the deal with the car was, and the salesman opened it. I asked him how many cubic feet it was and he looked it up in the manual and I was satisfied. So when he closed the hood, the bells rang.

LORELAI

You have very mundane dreams.

KIRK

(mumbled from outside)

Town meeting.

LORELAI

Huh!

MAN

(mumbled from outside)

Town meeting.

LORELAI

What was that?

LUKE

Some dead guy yelling something.

LORELAI

Ghosts are yelling something outside the house?

LUKE

No, guys I'm gonna kill yelling stuff outside the house.

KIRK

(mumbled from outside)

Town meeting.

LORELAI

What are they saying?

LUKE

There was a clown beating?

LORELAI

Huh! Not again.

MAN

(mumbled from outside)

Town meeting,

KIRK

(clearly from outside)

Town meeting.

LUKE

Now, they're saying, "town meeting".

LORELAI

Town meeting? At this hour?

LUKE

What the hell is Taylor up to?

LUKE

Lets get back to sleep.

LORELAI

All right. Guess we better go.

LUKE

What? I'm going back to bed.

LORELAI

What? You can't go back to sleep.

LORELAI

Come on, it's a town meeting.

LUKE

It's the middle of the night.

LORELAI

Uh, sorry, we might miss something. (Lorelai gets out of bed and starts pulling Luke's arm, he groans)

LUKE

Oh, good, full house. Just goes to show how easily manipulated we all are. You ring a bell, we drool like dogs. (they walk towards a couple of seats and sit in front of Babette)

LORELAI

Just don't drool where we sit. It'll be messy.

BABETTE

Hey, you guys hear the bells?

LUKE

No, we were just on one of our spontaneous three-in-the-morning strolls, saw everybody in here, and wondered, "hey, what's up?".

BABETTE

Really?

LUKE

No.

BABETTE

(to Lorelai) He's cranky at three in the morning.

LORELAI

Any idea what this is about?

BABETTE

No, Taylor's not even here yet, and Kirk's up there, futzing with something, but he won't tell us what's going on.

KIRK

(from the stage, fussing with a screen) We're just about ready here, folks.

LUKE

Ready for what? What is this?

KIRK

Here we go. (presses a button on the screen. Taylor appears on the screen)

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

Greetings, everyone.

LORELAI

Taylor?

BABETTE

He's in a little box.

LUKE

The nightmare continues.

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

Is it looking okay, Kirk?

KIRK

Yeah, you could use a little pancake.

PATTY

Weird. I can still smell his cologne.

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

People, we have a tremendous problem that needs our immediate attention. That's why I chose the extraordinary step of broadcasting to you tonight from this remote location. (a ping-pong ball hits him on the head) Ow!

LUKE

What was that?

LORELAI

Looked like a ping-pong ball.

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

Now, as we all know, the Annual Stars Hollow Winter Carnival is this weekend. (another ping-pong ball hits him) Ow! (turns to someone we can't see on he screen) Timmy, do not throw ping-pong balls at me.

TIMMY

(OS)

You're a Doo-doo head.

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

And do not call me a Doo-doo head. I'm in the middle of something important.

LUKE

Where the hell are you, Taylor?

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

I'm at my sister's in Maine. Anyway, we have never not had a Stars Hollow Winter Carnival. It's a hundred and twenty-five year tradition.

LORELAI

Is he getting to the point soon?

BABETTE

Yeah, come on, Doo-doo head.

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

Fine, let's cut to the chase. I run the winter carnival, it's this weekend, and I am snowed in, unable to get back into town. (gets no reaction from the town)

PATTY

So, what's this about, Taylor?

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

Maybe it's the lateness of the hour or the computer connection isn't clear. (another ping-pong ball)

TIMMY

(OS)

Doo-doo head!

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

We have never had to cancel a carnival, and it's absolutely impossible for me to get back into town to run it. (Luke yawns)

BABETTE

I must be tired. I'm not getting this.

PATTY

It's like a riddle or something.

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

People, are you not hearing me? I won't be there to run the carnival. Draw the obvious conclusion.

PATTY

Oh, OK, I got it now.

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

Thank you, patty.

PATTY

Kirk, could you take it over?

KIRK

Sure.

PATTY

Great. Anything else, Taylor?

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

Oh, well, good for you, people. I guess we don't have to cancel it after all.

LORELAI

Thanks, Taylor. (to Luke. Pats his knee) Come on, let's get you to bed. (everyone starts to get up from their seats)

LUKE

(as they start to exit the studio) I'm gonna fall back to sleep and dream about running Taylor over in that car I was looking at.

LORELAI

Oh. Is there enough room to put his body in the trunk? (Luke nods as they exit)

TAYLOR

(From Screen)

Now, then, I would recommend that we immediately start discussing some details. The sooner, the better is always best. Now, then, food. We'll obviously have the carnival staples. (people are no longer paying attention to Taylor and are slowly exiting the hall. It's almost empty) French dip sandwiches, corn on the cob, apple cider, et cetera. Now, we almost ran out of hot chocolate last year, so I would recommend upping the supply by 11%. Timmy! Put down that Rubik?s cube. Timmy, do not throw that Rubik?s cube at me.

LUKE

Here... here... here.

CUSTOMER 1

This was tea.

LUKE

Now you got a hybrid. That's very in right now. (walks over to Lorelai's table who's drinking coffee and is going over some papers and stuff)

LORELAI

I've gotten so much done this morning, it's scary.

LUKE

Coffee? (walks over to a nearby table to get an empty cup)

LORELAI

I already got some. I saw the sunrise. I paid all my bills. (Luke brings the cup over and starts to pour coffee) I already got some, hon. And, this is a first, I saw the beginning of Katie Couric. I don't think I've seen the first five minutes of her in my life. You know, she and Matt Lauer are much more serious in the first half-hour than they are later on. I guess that makes sense. You know, you can afford to make people sad and angry about war and the economy and stuff when they first wake up. But then, just as they're heading to the office, you leave them with a dose of Matthew McConaughey, "people's sexiest man", and whoosh! they're rarin' to go.

LUKE

(yawing) Yeah, Matthew McConaughey always gets me rarin'. (Kirk outside is busy with the fair stuff)

LORELAI

And I'm even volunteering to, um, man a booth at the carnival this year. I got a great concept, too. What about you? You got anything special planned today?

LUKE

(startled and very nervous) Today? No, not today. It's a bunch of the same old, same old errands. The usual.

CUSTOMER 1

Not liking my "hybrid".

LUKE

Coming. (they peck on the lips) I'll call you later.

LORELAI

(pointing at the two cups of coffee) See what you did here?

LUKE

Sorry. (takes both cups and walks away)

LORELAI

Oh, no, wait, I want the one I had already. Oh, well, OK.

PARIS

Oh, terrific. Bring 'em on in, Algernon. The more, the merrier.

RORY

It's Logan's doing. What can I do? (starts to chain the door)

PARIS

Tell him to stop.

RORY

We're not speaking, remember?

PARIS

Well, they're putting our lives in jeopardy.

RORY

Oh, stop it. (walks in the apartment)

PARIS

They scream bling, draw eyes to the apartment. Bad guys see roses, then they come for our diamonds.

RORY

We don't have diamonds.

PARIS

The Doo-Wop group doesn't know that. (as Rory is about to put the vase near the window) Yeah, by the window is good, next to the neon sign that says "come pistol-whip us".

RORY

Fine, I'll hide them. (puts the flowers on the floor)

PARIS

You know, I see Logan at the paper a few times a week. I can lean on him, make him stop.

RORY

He's going to get the message eventually.

PARIS

Well, he better get it quick. Between the paper and classes, I'm only home a few hours a day, and I'd rather not spend them in mortal fear. (there is a knock on the door and Paris instinctively takes cover)

RORY

Paris.

PARIS

(to the person outside) Yeah?

MAN

(OS outside the door)

UPS. Got a package for Rory Gilmore.

PARIS

From?

MAN

(OS outside the door)

Harry and David.

PARIS

Great. Fancy fruit.

RORY

I'm sorry. (Paris walks over to the door)

PARIS

Step back from the door and keep your hands where I can see them. (starts to unchain the door)

LUKE

Surprise.

APRIL

Was this not a planned thing?

LUKE

Why?

APRIL

You said, "surprise".

LUKE

No, it was just... just a... how you doing? (extends his hand for a shake)

APRIL

Good. (she takes it and they shake hands) This is how the avian flu spreads, by the way.

LUKE

Oh, sorry! (quickly takes his hand away)

APRIL

I was just saying.

LUKE

No, I heard that, too. Heard a guy on CNN say it.

APRIL

Right. They fired my favourite, Aaron Brown. He was comforting.

LUKE

Yes, he was. Mind if I sit?

APRIL

No, go ahead. (Luke sits next to her. There is an awkward silence) So... do you like to hang out here?

LUKE

The park? No.

APRIL

Then why are we meeting here?

LUKE

I thought kids liked parks.

APRIL

It's 41 degrees out. Not exactly peak park-going season.

LUKE

But there's still stuff to do, right? I mean, we could have a snowball fight, or something.

APRIL

My friend Remi got into a snowball fight with a guy once, and she got a retina detached.

LUKE

Well, we'll skip that, then. Uh... sorry. I'll think of something better to do next time, OK? I don't really know what kids are into.

APRIL

Hey, whatever.

LUKE

Oh, and I said "next time". I don't know if you caught that.

APRIL

I did.

LUKE

Did your mom explain that this isn't necessarily a one-time thing? I was thinking maybe we could make it semi-regular or even just, you know, regular.

APRIL

Uh, OK.

LUKE

Good. So, what's your free time like?

APRIL

I've got no school this whole week. It's year-round, so we get weird times off.

LUKE

Well, then maybe we can do something tomorrow, too, something less cold.

APRIL

OK.

LUKE

So, what kind of things do you like to do?

APRIL

I like Morse code. I'm learning that. My mom gave me a putter, so I putt some. And I like talking to my Indian friend Shamilah in Bangalore over the internet.

LUKE

I wouldn't be much help with any of that. We could bowl, or go to a movie, or maybe there's a zoo around somewhere.

APRIL

How about I just come and hang out at the diner?

LUKE

(shocked and nervous) What diner? My diner?

APRIL

Yeah.

LUKE

Won't it be boring?

APRIL

No way. (Luke does not look pleased) Diners fascinate me. The hustle, the bustle, the monte cristos.

LUKE

The diner?

APRIL

Yeah, that'd be fun.

LUKE

Can't think of anything else, huh?

APRIL

I think it'd be great.

LUKE

Well, OK, sure. The diner. Tomorrow you will come to the diner. (he chuckles nervously and clears his throat) So, uh, what do you want to do right now?

APRIL

I've been counting how many times those frisbee guys over there have dropped it.

LUKE

Uuh, OK. Let's keep watching.

APRIL

The one with the hat's a big, fat butterfingers. (they watch the guys playing frisbee)

LORELAI

Kirk, you needed carnival-game volunteers and I volunteered. What's with the hassle?

KIRK

We do things like ring toss and rope ladder climbing. Your choice is unorthodox.

LORELAI

That's because I'm not orthodox. I'm liberal with a touch of reform and a smidgen of zippity-pow.

KIRK

You're aware that this is the first time I'm running the winter carnival?

LORELAI

I am aware. (they start walking to the reception desk)

KIRK

I can't afford to have anything go wrong.

LORELAI

Kirk, I promise! This booth will be a big hit. It will not embarrass you, OK? I promise.

KIRK

Your promise means nothing to me. You break them all the time.

LORELAI

(gasps) I do not.

KIRK

1997, you promised to bring me back a souvenir pen and ink set from your trip to Colonial Williamsburg.

LORELAI

I... I did?

KIRK

1999, you promised to put in a good word for me at Al's Pancake World when Al had that batter boy opening.

LORELAI

He calls them "batter boys"?

KIRK

Year 2000, you promised to teach me to swim. I still don't know how to swim. What if there's a tsunami?

LORELAI

Well...

KIRK

2001, you promised to come to my birthday party, and I waited and waited and...

LORELAI

Kirk! Kirk, scout's honour, this booth will make you proud, OK? (as they enter the reception desk area Lorelai notices someone waiting) Now... excuse me, hi. Are you Liam Driessen by any chance?

LIAM

I am.

LORELAI

Hi, Lorelai Gilmore. I'm here to make your stay and the rest of the New England Maple Syrup Council's stay as comfortable as possible.

LIAM

So far, so good. Love the local colour here.

LORELAI

(noticing Kirk who's followed her and is standing close to them) Uh, Kirk, it's really not appropriate to be standing right next to me like this.

KIRK

But we work together.

LORELAI

But not here.

KIRK

Liam, can I ask you a question?

LORELAI

NO that's inappropriate too to ask a quest...

KIRK

Would you pay a dollar to have your fortune told by a dog?

LIAM

A dog?

LORELAI

It's for a carnival. It's very cute.

KIRK

A dog that has no previous experience telling people's fortunes?

LIAM

I don't know.

KIRK

Well, you're no help. (walks away)

LORELAI

Well, just part of our local colour. He's purple. (nervously laughs a bit) Get it? 'Cause local colour and he's a colour. And how about a tour?

LIAM

Sure. (they exit)

PARIS

That's what we got?

JOHNIE

Yup.

PARIS

It's posed, staged. Get another and make it candid.

JOHNIE

Candid?

PARIS

Don't question me. (walks away and moves over to another desk)

JOHNIE

But it's a team photo.

PARIS

Bill, how's it hangin'?

BILL

It's hanging OK.

PARIS

Good, good. You like the Washington Post, do you?

BILL

Yes.

PARIS

Because they like to split their infinitives, at the Washington Post, especially their metro writers, but I don't.

BILL

I'm not seeing...

PARIS

(reading from his computer screen) "The council member chose to forcefully waive her right of veto".

BILL

(deleting the sentence) Consider it unsplit.

PARIS

Hey. You check in?

RORY

Check in?

PARIS

The board. The new system? This is the best way for me to know where anyone is at any given time. (they walk over to a board near the door) All the names are on the left. Each coloured magnet represents an activity. If you're out on assignment, it's a red magnet. If you're in the john, it's a blue magnet. If you're at home, a purple magnet. If you're at your desk, it's a green magnet.

RORY

But if they're at their desk, you can just glance over and see that they're at their desks.

PARIS

But I'd have to glance all around. This saves extraneous glancing. Look, it's not really for people like you. I know you're dedicated. I trust you, but I can't appear to be playing favourites.

RORY

I have a class.

PARIS

Orange magnet. (Rory takes the magnet and puts in on the board next to her name. Paris looks pleased and Rory exits)

RORY

(to coffee cart vender, Ben) Excuse me.

BEN

You're Rory Gilmore?

RORY

Yes.

BEN

Someone pointed you out to me. This is for you. (pointing at the coffee cart)

RORY

What is?

BEN

The coffee cart.

RORY

For me?

BEN

Courtesy of Logan Huntzberger.

RORY

Oh, I see. Well, I don't want any coffee right now. (bypasses the coffee cart) Thanks anyway, and sorry you wasted your time, Ben. (starts to walk away)

BEN

No problem. (Ben follows her, with the coffee cart. Rory notices)

RORY

What are you doing?

BEN

I'm hired for the day.

RORY

What?

BEN

Yep, all day. Any time you want some coffee, biscotti, I will be here.

RORY

That's not necessary.

BEN

I've already been paid... a lot!

RORY

(sighs) Fine. (starts to walk and Ben follows her with the coffee cart)

ANNA

Kiddo, is that the TV?

APRIL

(OS)

Yes.

ANNA

You watching something stupid?

APRIL

(OS)

Yes.

ANNA

You promise?

APRIL

(OS)

Yes.

ANNA

OK. (the telephone rings and Anna picks it up) Hello?

LUKE

(on phone)

Hi, Anna. It's Luke.

ANNA

Hey there. So, she came back with all her fingers and toes. Very successful first outing.

LUKE

(on phone)

Yeah, it was nice. It was... it was real nice.

ANNA

She had a good time, too. And that's impressive 'cause she's picky.

LUKE

(on phone)

Good. Well, so did I.

ANNA

So, she's coming by your work tomorrow?

LUKE

Oh, she told you that, huh? Uh... Well, listen, here's the thing. I don't know if... it's gonna work out for her to come to the diner.

ANNA

Why not?

LUKE

Well, it's gonna be really hectic, lots of people swooshing around and all.

ANNA

She'll like that. She likes people swooshing around her.

LUKE

Pans of hot grease.

ANNA

There'll be pans of hot grease swooshing around her?

LUKE

If she's in the kitchen, yeah.

ANNA

Well, keep her out of the kitchen if there's any grease swooshing. I mean, that doesn't sound safe for you, either.

LUKE

I don't even know how much time I can give her.

ANNA

No problem. She's very low-maintenance. Just set her up at a table and she'll be fine.

LUKE

If there's a table, because some of the tables are reserved. I've got my regulars, you know? They want their tables, so there may not be room.

ANNA

She's little. You'll find room.

LUKE

You know, Anna, actually, I don't... I don't know if, uh, tomorrow is gonna be good at all for anything. I didn't realize how busy I was. Factor in all the people swooshing and the grease swooshing.

ANNA

Luke, no.

LUKE

"No" what?

ANNA

It doesn't work that way.

LUKE

What do you mean?

ANNA

Look, I don't know what the problem is here.

LUKE

What are you talking about?

ANNA

You say you're available one minute, and the next minute you're not?

LUKE

I told you, I was just...

ANNA

It's not cool, Luke. It's not happening this way.

LUKE

What way? It's just a bad time.

ANNA

There's no great time to be a parent, Luke, you just are one. And if you're gonna make plans with my kid and get her hopes up and then cancel, then our deal is cancelled.

LUKE

Anna, no.

ANNA

Yes, that's it. That's how it works. You're either all-in or you're all-out. We didn't ask for this. You did. You wanted contact, a relationship, and now...

LUKE

OK, OK, I hear ya. Have her come to the diner tomorrow.

ANNA

You're sure?

LUKE

I'm sure. I was just over thinking all of this. I'll see her tomorrow.

ANNA

OK, she will be there.

LUKE

Good. Thanks. It'll be good.

ANNA

It better be. Bye, Luke. (hangs up)

LUKE

Bye. (hangs up too)

AK

She's starting to go through trash cans. It's creepy.

BILL

That's a privacy violation, for God's sake.

SHEILA

What's she looking for?

AK

(notices Rory) Uh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.

RORY

(coming up to their table) Hi, guys.

AK

Hey, Rory.

RORY

Did I interrupt something? (the staffers look uncomfortable)

AK

No, no, nothing much. Just hangin'.

RORY

What's going on?

AK

Nothing. Just enjoying a tipple.

RORY

So all the senior staffers from the Yale Daily News are simultaneously enjoying a tipple?

JOHNIE

Tell her.

AK

No.

JOHNIE

Tell her!

RORY

Tell me what?

AK

This is a war council.

RORY

About what?

BILL

About Kaiser Geller and her reign of terror.

SHEILA

The paper is going to crap.

JOHNIE

It's unreadable.

BILL

She rewrites our stuff, then rewrites her rewrites.

JOHNIE

And to add insult to injury, the copy gets worse every time.

SHEILA

She used to be good, right? Wasn't Paris good at one point?

AK

Before she was editor.

BILL

Now she's Augusto Pinochet in a pantsuit.

SHEILA

Yeah, what's up with those pantsuits?

JOHNIE

We're seriously considering Howell-Raines-ing her.

RORY

You want to force her out?

AK

She's out of control.

RORY

And you have the authority?

SHEILA

We're the board.

BILL

And the board has the authority.

RORY

I'm a senior staffer, too. Why wasn't I asked to be here tonight?

BILL

You're in Paris's pocket.

RORY

I am not in Paris's pocket.

JOHNIE

You're friends.

SHEILA

Best friends, right? That's what Paris is always saying.

JOHNIE

And you guys live together. It didn't seem appropriate.

RORY

OK, let me set the record straight. I'm devoted to the paper, OK? Personal feelings cannot get in the way of things. Paris and I are not best friends. We're friends, for the most part, and I'm not immune to being driven crazy by her, believe me.

JOHNIE

Oh, we believe you.

SHEILA

I'm getting crow's-feet. I'm sorry, Paris Geller is not going to give me crow's-feet.

AK

So you do acknowledge a problem here?

RORY

I just did, AK. Where's the trust, dude?

AK

We just want to do this right.

RORY

Well, then, let's talk and maybe set the Howell-Raines-ing aside for now. Let's see if we can fix things before we blow them up.

AK

Fine. Sit.

BILL

But allow us our cathartic purging.

RORY

Purge away. (Ben approaches the table and clears his throat) Oh, but first would anyone like a refreshing coffee beverage? I have Ben till nine.

STAFFER GUY 1

Well I'll have a decaf latte.

BILL

Same here.

JOHNIE

Can he do mocha latte?

RORY

He does a great mocha latte.

JOHNIE

Oh, I'll have a mocha latte.

TALLIE

I will too.

LORELAI

Uhh! Sorry. Taylor?

TAYLOR

Shh!

LORELAI

What are you doing back? I thought you were stranded at your sister's.

TAYLOR

Lorelai, please. (starts to push her back in an alley)

LORELAI

Weird time for line dancing.

TAYLOR

Fine. OK, I'm back. I got lucky last night and caught a plane out of Maine.

LORELAI

Even with the rain in Spain?

TAYLOR

Will you be serious for second?

LORELAI

What's with the sweats?

TAYLOR

I'm incognito. Don't you see? With the carnival coming up, this is my Huckleberry-Finn opportunity to observe things invisibly. You know, I'm not gonna be around forever, Lorelai.

LORELAI

Oh, Taylor, are you sick?

TAYLOR

No, just mortal. And eventually someone, maybe Kirk, is going to have to take over the many delicate tasks I perform for this town. The streetlamp illumination monitoring, the lawn-height measuring.

LORELAI

Now I'm just getting sad.

TAYLOR

Please keep my secret.

LORELAI

Mum's the word.

TAYLOR

Well, I should go.

LORELAI

Back to 8 mile?

TAYLOR

What?

LORELAI

Nothing. Ooh, behind you. (as she notices some passers-by, Taylor covers up a bit more. They kinda wave each other goodbye and Taylor walks way. Lorelai looks on a bit amused and then starts to leave to)

LORELAI

Hey, Zach. You helping out?

ZACH

Got to keep body and soul together.

LORELAI

Well, this is space 18 and that's my booth, so we're a team.

ZACH

We should get uniforms.

LORELAI

You OK?

ZACH

Yeah, I'm great. I lost my girlfriend, my band's broken up, my best friend won't speak to me, and I'm reduced to working as a five-dollar-an-hour carny. Bob Dylan should write a song about me.

LORELAI

I'm sorry about you and Lane.

ZACH

Yeah, well...

LORELAI

But you'll get through this rough patch and life will move on. Trust me. It's human nature to move on.

ZACH

What?!

LORELAI

What "what"?

ZACH

Are you saying Lane's moved on?

LORELAI

No!

ZACH

Have you seen her with someone else?

LORELAI

No, no, no! I'm just saying people have the ability to move on.

ZACH

Oh, my God, God, God. (hold his head in his hands in frustration) I got to go take a break. (walks away)

LORELAI

OK. (calling after him) Hope I cheered you up some. (turns and looks at the booth next to hers. She gasps as she sees it's the fortune-tellers booth) Kirk? Kirk!

KIRK

Yes, Lorelai? (walks up to her holding his clipboard)

LORELAI

Why are you putting the exact same booth right next to my booth?

KIRK

Well, frankly, I have my doubts about your dog's ability to predict the future.

LORELAI

You have your doubts?

KIRK

Yes, and in order to satisfy our guests, I'm hedging our bets by putting the real thing next door so that no one walks away bamboozled.

LORELAI

Kirk, there is no real thing. It's all fake. Those tarot cards are not real. My dog cannot predict the future.

KIRK

So you admit it?

LORELAI

I was never hiding it.

KIRK

That's fraud.

LORELAI

It's a Doggy Swami.

KIRK

My girlfriend says tarot cards are real.

LORELAI

Well, I like your girlfriend, but the cards are no more real than my dog. (her cell phone starts to ring and she reaches to her purse to get it) I got to take this, but I would like it if you would move the... (Kirk walks away from her as she answers the phone) Kirk? Kirk?!

LUKE

(on phone)

No, it's me.

LORELAI

No, I know it's you. I just was getting frustrated with Kirk.

LUKE

What else is new? So, um... I was wondering what your time was like today.

LORELAI

My time?

LUKE

Because there's something I need to run past you.

LORELAI

Oh, I have a minute now.

LUKE

I'd like to discuss it in person.

LORELAI

Oh, could it wait till tonight? 'Cause I have the syrup council in town and they've got a conference and a meal and Josh is out sick and Jamie's out sick and I just barely got away to come here and get in an argument with Kirk about what's more legitimate. Tarot cards or a fortune-telling dog.

LUKE

So you're not coming by the diner?

LORELAI

Not today, but I'm totally yours tonight. Is that OK?

LUKE

Uh, sure. So you definitely won't be coming by the diner today?

LORELAI

Not today, sorry.

LUKE

No, it's OK. Just if you were coming by, I wanted to know. And now I know you're not.

LORELAI

Right.

LUKE

OK, so give Kirk hell and I guess I'll see you tonight.

LORELAI

OK, see you tonight. (She hangs up, as Zach comes up to her holding some stuff) Hey, Zach, did you see where Kirk went?

ZACH

(pointing) Thataway. (Lorelai walks off, to the direction that he pointed, and Zach notices something. It's Mrs.Kim talking pleasantly to a relatively young, charming Korean man, Joe)

JOE

Wonderful. Well, keep warm and tell Lane I'll see her later.

LUKE

April.

APRIL

Hi, Luke.

LUKE

Get in here.

APRIL

Bye, now. (waves the postman goodbye and she starts walking to the diner)

LUKE

What are you doing talking to him? (as they enter the diner)

APRIL

He asked about my bike.

LUKE

You don't talk to him, you don't know him. He could be a strangler.

APRIL

He seemed to know you.

LUKE

Yeah, of course. That's Jake. I've known him fifteen years.

APRIL

You've known a strangler for fifteen years?

LUKE

He's not a strangler.

APRIL

Then why can't I talk to him?

LUKE

Because you didn't know that. Don't trust anyone, OK? Anyone.

APRIL

OK (puts her bike helmet on the counter), then I should go lock my bike. (starts to exit but Luke stops her)

LUKE

No, you don't have to lock it.

APRIL

You just said I can't trust anyone.

LUKE

You don't have to lock your bike. This is a safe town.

APRIL

Well, I'm confused.

LUKE

(exhales uncomfortably) So... here it is.

APRIL

I know. We met here.

LUKE

Right, right. So, what do you want to do? Sit and color?

APRIL

Color? (chuckles a bit) Wow. I haven't colored in six or seven years. But that takes me back. Coloring. Wow.

LUKE

OK, so you don't color. Did you bring a book?

APRIL

I don't really feel like reading.

LUKE

Well, I don't really have any toys or anything.

APRIL

(looks around a bit) Your salt and pepper shakers look a little low.

LUKE

Yes, they are. People salt stuff too much.

APRIL

Can I refill them?

LUKE

You want to refill the salt shakers?

APRIL

And the pepper. And possibly the sugar... we'll see how the salt and pepper goes.

LUKE

Oh, well, OK. Refill the salt and pepper? Whatever. I'll get the boxes.

APRIL

Great.

LUKE

Great. (Luke starts to walk to the kitchen as April sits on a stool at the counter. They both chuckle, and Luke exits to the back)

APRIL

(wistfully) Coloring.

LIAM

Well, it may surprise some of you, but that's a syrup derived from a black maple. Yes, it's sweeter than the first two, but it's a natural sweetness with a hint of orange. Very unusual and very good. Let's move on to number four, shall we? And number four is another little surprise.

LORELAI

Ugh, gives my skin that weird, tingly feel like something's bubbling underneath it.

SOOKIE

It makes the root of my tongue feel like it's retracting back into my throat.

LORELAI

What don't they pour it on something. A waffle, a pancake?

LIAM

So, let's go ahead and taste number four, shall we? Then we'll talk. (they sip)

LORELAI

Ew!

SOOKIE

Ew, drinking straight syrup!

LORELAI

We don't have to watch this.

SOOKIE

It's hard not to.

LIAM

A bit of a tobacco taste to it and a bit of marshmallow.

SOOKIE

Oh, good. Now I can't smoke a cigar or eat a marshmallow again.

LORELAI

How does one discover a talent for this?

LIAM

Remember, for anyone who wants one, we have spit buckets. (takwes the buckets out an starts to pass them around)

SOOKIE

That's it.

LORELAI

See ya. (they walk away)

LOGAN

Hi.

LORELAI

Hello.

LOGAN

I was gonna call you, but then I figured you wouldn't take the call.

LORELAI

(walks up to him) Yeah, you figured right.

LOGAN

I just need a minute.

LORELAI

I can't fathom what a minute of my time is gonna do for you.

LOGAN

Just a minute, please, then I am gone.

LORELAI

OK. (they sit)

LOGAN

Look, I know I'm not your favorite person in the world.

LORELAI

No, you're definitely low on the list, right above the guy who thought up smallpox blankets.

LOGAN

Well, in my defense, I think I'm a notch or two higher than that.

LORELAI

You're not exactly in a position to comment on that, are you?

LOGAN

No.

LORELAI

No. In fact, let's take inventory of all the delightful things that have happened since you waltzed into my daughter's life. She was arrested, convicted, she's on probation, she'll have a criminal record unless we can get it expunged, she dropped out of school, moved out of my house, she didn't speak to me for five months, three weeks, and sixteen days. No, wait a minute. Come to think of it, you are my favorite person.

LOGAN

OK, I can defend myself on one or two of those points as well.

LORELAI

No, you can't. Why are you here?

LOGAN

I miss her, OK? I made a mistake and I'm trying to rectify it, but nothing is working. She won't talk to me.

LORELAI

Can you blame her?

LOGAN

No. I'm doing everything I can. Flowers, gifts.

LORELAI

All your old standbys, huh?

LOGAN

Books, coffee cart. I'm trying to show her how I feel.

LORELAI

And it sounds like she's trying to show you how she feels.

LOGAN

Look, I figured this was a suicide mission, OK? It's probably something you and Rory will laugh about for years to come. But I'm not giving up until I exhaust all my options, and asking for your help is one of them.

LORELAI

Really?

LOGAN

Yes.

LORELAI

You're seriously here to ask for my help with Rory? This is not a joke?

LOGAN

I'm going for broke here.

LORELAI

Well... you got moxie, my friend, I'll give you that.

LOGAN

I think I get it from my dad.

LORELAI

I hate your dad.

LOGAN

Me too. See? We have things in common, you and me. Maybe this isn't so crazy.

LORELAI

Oh, hi.

APRIL

Hello there.

LORELAI

Oh, what are... what are you doing?

APRIL

Chores.

LORELAI

Yeah, I see.

APRIL

Are you a strangler?

LORELAI

No, no.

APRIL

Just checking. (Lorelai laughs a bit and April takes in her hands a bow of rice) Rice. That's the key. Prevents clumping.

LORELAI

Oh, yeah. I hate clumpy salt.

APRIL

That's universal.

LORELAI

So, who do you belong to. Caesar?

APRIL

Who?

LORELAI

You're not Caesar's?

APRIL

Not according to the lab results.

LORELAI

Well, how'd you land the gig?

APRIL

My father owns the place. The diner, at least. Not sure about the land.

LORELAI

Your father?

APRIL

My biological father. (Luke comes out from the kitchen and notices the scene taking place) Not really sure what to call him, it's kind of new. (Lorelai sees him too and they look at each other. Lorelai looks upset. Luke looks uncomfortable) Not the biological part, that was years ago. I wonder if brown rice would work, too. Brown might be more decorative or it might backfire. People might think there are bugs in the salt. I should put some brown rice in one of the shakers and use it as a control group against the other ones.

LUKE

I thought you couldn't get away.

LORELAI

I got away.

APRIL

She said she wasn't a strangler.

LUKE

Uh, you want to go outside and uh... ?

LORELAI

Uh-huh. (walks outside)

LUKE

April, I'll be right back, OK?

APRIL

OK. (Luke follows Lorelai outside)

LORELAI

So she's...

LUKE

Yeah.

LORELAI

Wow.

LUKE

I know.

LORELAI

That's...

LUKE

My daughter.

LORELAI

I don't believe it.

LUKE

I still have trouble believing it.

LORELAI

You have a...

LUKE

Yeah.

LORELAI

Right. And what is she, twelve?

LUKE

Yeah, twelve.

LORELAI

Twelve years. Twelve years! This is for sure?

LUKE

It's for sure.

LORELAI

When did you find out?

LUKE

I just found out.

LORELAI

Just? When just? She's in there filling salt shakers. It doesn't feel that new to me.

LUKE

Two months ago.

LORELAI

Two months?! That's a hell of a long time to go without telling me.

LUKE

I know. I should've told you.

LORELAI

She's cute.

LUKE

Lorelai, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry. It's all just a blur of stuff happening. I mean, she just came into the diner two months ago, no warning, talking about a science fair and how I may be her father, and she pulled my hair out and DNA-tested it, and then I wanted to forget the whole thing, but I went to the fair and found out the truth. And we were at the park, and she wanted to come here. And I called you today, wanting a moment to talk about it, but you were busy, and... so I put it off again. And here we are.

LORELAI

Here we are.

LUKE

It's stupid. I'm stupid.

LORELAI

Look... I need to digest this and you have to get back inside. So, uh, I'm just gonna go someplace where I can digest this and we'll just talk more later, OK?

LUKE

Sure. Whenever you want.

LORELAI

OK.

LUKE

I'm sorry. (Lorelai sadly nods and walks away. Luke doesn't seem to pleased with himself)

RORY

"What's up with the caps", she asked, knowing it's probably not good.

JOHNIE

It's Paris. She's having trouble remembering everyone's names, or as she puts it, she has more important things to do with her brain.

RORY

Oh, geez

JOHNIE

Plus some of us have confused the issue by having the same first name. The three Johns?, the two Marthas?. So she's issued numbers.

RORY

Oh, geez

BILL

Martinet at three o'clock.

PARIS

(coming out form her cubicle and approaching a staffer) Nice job on Bienecki map theft article, number seventeen.

NUMBER 17

Thanks, Paris.

PARIS

Twenty-three and eighty, I need your stuff by five. (notices Rory) Ah, Rory! New system. Here's your number. (passes her a cap)

RORY

Paris, you know me. I don't need a number and I'm the only Rory.

PARIS

But you don't want me to play favorites, do you? we talked about this.

RORY

So we all have numbers?

PARIS

Including me. I'm number one. Don't need a cap for that. If they can't remember the number one, they shouldn't be here.

RORY

Hey, can we talk in a little more private place?

PARIS

Sure. (they start to walk outside) If you're looking for 1 and 2, we'll be in the hallway.

RORY

Paris, the atmosphere here, it's getting a little toxic.

PARIS

What?

RORY

Everyone here is very stressed. The greaseboard, the hats.

PARIS

I haven't heard any complaints.

RORY

That's because people are afraid to approach you. You rewrite everything they do. You don't delegate.

PARIS

That's not true.

RORY

Look, the staff and I had a little talk yesterday. It was very impromptu. I won't get into the hairy details, but it would really help if you could relieve some of the pressure here.

PARIS

They think it's that bad?

RORY

You've taken away the magnets that indicate people are in the bathroom, so now they're afraid to go.

PARIS

Well, they were going too much.

RORY

People are getting very nervous here.

PARIS

Yeah, I see. I'll go talk to them. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

RORY

You're welcome. (they walk back in the office)

PARIS

Where's seventy-three and thirty-two? (the staffers gather around) People, Rory Gilmore has just informed me of the meeting held behind my back concerning my stewardship of the paper.

RORY

Oh, Paris.

PARIS

Am I tough? You're damn right I'm tough. You think it's going to be any easier entering the work force with every newspaper in the country cutting back on staff? Also, any chance that you'd attempt the same sort of flaccid coup if I were a man? I think not. You're trying to Howell Raines me? Well, forget it. Suck it up and get to work! Otherwise, there's the door. (Paris walks off. Rory resigned puts her cap on as a few of the staffers don't look that pleased with her)

LOGAN

I come bearing gifts.

RORY

I have to unlock the door.

LOGAN

You can't say no to these. I know you. It's biologically impossible. (opens the box - doughnuts - for Rory to see)

RORY

Oh, yeah? (looks at the content of the box) No.

LOGAN

(as he closes the box and point to the locks) That seems very cumbersome.

RORY

You get used to it.

LOGAN

You get the coffee cart?

RORY

You really think we're gonna chitchat?

LOGAN

I just wanted to know.

RORY

Yeah, I got it. And the flowers and the books and the candles and the fruit. What's next on the list? A marching band? A parrot who says "I'm sorry"? You have to go.

LOGAN

Wait. (takes out an envelope and holds it up for Rory to see)

RORY

What's that, a subpoena?

LOGAN

It's a note from your mother.

RORY

You're kidding.

LOGAN

Check out the handwriting, Dragonfly stationery. Can we get out of the hallway? (Rory kicks door the door and opens it)

LOGAN

I went to see her at her inn. We talked a little. It was a tad humiliating. She told me to wait and she came back with this. She said to give it to you.

RORY

What's it say?

LOGAN

I was instructed not to read it. She even signed the seal on the envelope to make sure.

RORY

You have no idea what this says?

LOGAN

None. (Rory opens the envelope and starts to read) What's it say?

RORY

Shh. (she smiles)

LOGAN

What's it say?

RORY

Shh! (chuckles)

LOGAN

What does it say?

RORY

Shh!

LOGAN

Come on, Ace, you're laughing. Is that good or bad?

RORY

Hmm. Yep. Yep. (laughs)

LOGAN

Just give me some indication whether it's good or bad. Something, anything. (Rory stops reading and laughing and is silent) OK, fine. Just tell me. Is there anything in there about giving me a second chance?

RORY

I'd have to reread it.

LOGAN

Please don't do that, Ace, come on. Come out with me. Let me make it up to you.

RORY

Maybe dinner.

LOGAN

When?

RORY

I'll have to check my schedule.

LOGAN

Check it.

RORY

I can't do it right now.

LOGAN

So?

RORY

I'll call you.

LOGAN

Good enough. Good enough. You promise you'll call?

RORY

Leave the doughnuts. (takes the box form him and Logan exits,. She sits on a chair opens the box takes a doughnut and starts to re-read a letter. She chuckles a bit as she reads)

RORY

(OS)

Margaret, I'm home.

LORELAI

Kitchen.

RORY

And I come bearing gifts. Laundry galore. Oh, and I've got some candles and some fancy fruit, too. (she comes in the kitchen loaded with stuff) I don't know who Harry and David are, but they sure do know how to grow a pear. (groans a bit as she carries her stuff in her room) So, your letter? Oh, my God. It was brilliant. It has got to be anthologized. I'm telling you. And he definitely did not read it because he looked flummoxed. (Lorelai sits on a chair and hold her face in her hands) Flummoxed! The whole time I was reading it, and I didn't tell him a thing about it. That's what he gets. So, come on. I want to hear all about his visit with you. (Rory comes back out to the kitchen and notices Lorelai) Mom?

LORELAI

Luke has a daughter.

RORY

And we'll talk about the letter later. What!? (walks over to the table and sits next to Lorelai)

LORELAI

He has a twelve-year-old daughter. I met her today, well I didn't formally meet her, but I saw and I talked to her.

RORY

What?!

LORELAI

He has a daughter with some woman. We didn't get to that, the big who, but he's known for two months.

RORY

Two months?

LORELAI

A daughter.

RORY

A daughter.

LORELAI

What does this say about our relationship?

RORY

What do you mean?

LORELAI

He waited two months to tell me.

RORY

Did he say why he waited?

LORELAI

Yes, he said he was confused, and I get that. I mean, I'm confused, but what does it mean that he kept a secret like this? What does it say about him? What does it say about me? Doesn't he trust me? Why doesn't he trust me?

RORY

He trusts you, Mom. He's a guy. Sometimes guys are really dumb.

LORELAI

She's cute.

RORY

She is?

LORELAI

Yeah, she seems smart like you. What is it with the next generation? You're all smarter than the rest of us.

RORY

Not necessarily.

LORELAI

I'm freaking out.

RORY

I don't blame you.

LORELAI

What else is he hiding? I mean, how can you really know that you know somebody?

RORY

I don't think you can. Every relationship is just a big, honkin' leap of faith.

LORELAI

Yeah, I guess.

RORY

You didn't ask about the mother?

LORELAI

I just kinda ran off. I couldn't wrap my mind around it.

RORY

Well, Luke must be freaked out double what you're freaked out, you know? Mr.Responsibility? He must've put his baseball cap on backwards.

LORELAI

Yeah.

RORY

I'm sure he panicked. I'm sure his not telling you says nothing about your relationship. Maybe this is a cheesy perspective to offer you, but Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale went through the same sort of situation. He found out he had a kid that he didn't know about, but they made it work... as far as I know.

LORELAI

Meaning?

RORY

If they can, you can.

LORELAI

Really?

RORY

They're people. You're people. I mean, you don't sing and neither does Luke, but really, neither do Gwen or Gavin, but they're still together... I think. I haven't read anything to the contrary.

LORELAI

I guess.

RORY

You and Luke just need to talk some more.

LORELAI

Yeah. Maybe I'll tell Luke about Gwen and Gavin. I mean, if there's any people whose lives Luke would relate to, it's Gwen and Gavin. (they start to pass out their take out food as Lorelai sighs)

MEGAN

They only cost fifty cents?

TILLIE

Yeah, how lame would it be to go to the trouble of counterfeiting?

KIRK

No mind games. They're legit. (he lets the girls pass)

TILLIE

Another crime thwarted.

MEGAN

Good job, Colombo. (As the girls walk away we see Taylor still in disguise inspecting the carnival. He approaches a vender)

TAYLOR

(in German accent)

Guten tag, there. I would like, uh, what you call them?... A hot dog?

VENDER

Coming up. (Taylor inspects the cart and stops quickly as the vendor comes back with the hot dog)

TAYLOR

(in German accent)

Ja. Oh, und we are having cold weather this year, nein? (he walks away and the vender looks after him a bit confused)

RORY

It's a smashing concept.

LORELAI

And Kirk was doubtful.

RORY

We've already raked in eighteen dollars.

LORELAI

And the night is young.

RORY

Come on, Doggy Swami, break's over. (Paul Anka climbs up the booth)

LORELAI

He is liking his hat.

RORY

Well, it's very flattering. You know, I can man this myself if you don't feel like being here.

LORELAI

No, it's good for me. Nothing is a better distraction than a dog in a turban, telling fortunes.

RORY

It's a cliche for a reason.

LORELAI

(starts yelling to advertise the booth) Come see the Amazing Doggy Swami. Discover your future...

RORY

If you dare.

LORELAI

It's silly.

RORY

And fun.

LORELAI

And real. Very, very real. (stares pointedly at the tarot cards reader on the next booth)

LANE

Congratulations! Nice job! (at new visitor) Want to play? It's only a dollar.

MAN1

Sure. (he pays and then throws something that Lane gave him in a ?pit? that has cardboard flames on it's edges)

LANE

Winner! We have a winner!

MAN1

Really? That's it?

LANE

That's it. Here's your prize. (hands him a piece of paper as Joe, the Korean young man from before approaches Lane)

MAN1

(reads the paper) "Hell is waiting for you, sinner".

LANE

Enjoy. (the Man walks away)

LANE

Alright! Who wants to win? Don't be afraid of playing! (we see that Zach is spying on Lane and Joe) Step up and play "toss the sybarite into the hellfire". Everybody's a winner!

JOE

I'm gonna go take a little walk, check out the competition.

LANE

Just don't let my mother see you play anything too decadent.

JOE

I'll be back in a bit. (as Joe leaves, Zach follows him and Lane keeps advertising her booth)

LANE

Come on people! Step right up! You can't lose. I'm guaranteeing you a good... ..

TAYLOR

(in French accent)

Ahh! Oui! Look at ze games. It is so marvelous that I am 'ere to see it. What a great country. J'adore. (he walks away quickly as Patty and another visitor walk by)

PATTY

Taylor finally flipped his lid.

BABETTE

(at visitor) Yeah, poor Morey couldn't make it. I made him drink thirty bottles of coke last night for the game here, so he's still throwing up. And then I ended up not using 'em. Shame, huh? But I'll tell him you said "hi". (The visitor leaves as Babette yells at Joe who's walking by) Hey, want to throw some balls?

JOE

(walks up to the booth and pays) Just don't laugh too hard at me.

BABETTE

Never, never. (gives him the balls) Come on up here. (Zach walks over to the booth all determined)

ZACH

Give me some balls.

BABETTE

Fresh balls coming up.

ZACH

Yeah!

BABETTE

Watch it, honey. It could bounce off the back and hit the girls manning the dime toss. (after Joe's second toss) There you go. You're getting the hang of it.

ZACH

Yeah, cute little throw.

JOE

Excuse me?

ZACH

Pretty boy says what?

JOE

What?

BABETTE

Jeez, Zach, what's with being all goose gossage? (Zach starts to hit Joe's bottles and gets them all) Zach, those aren't your bottles!

ZACH

Yeah! Yeah! (in Joe's face) Welcome to the S.H., bitch!

JOE

What's your problem?

ZACH

I don't got a problem, friend. My problem is I got no more bottles to knock down.

BABETTE

Who do I give the prize to?

ZACH

Give it to Asian George Clooney over here. I'm outtie. (walks away)

BABETTE

So, I... I... I got smurfs and dirty pasta.

MAGGIE

What'd you just put in there?

TAYLOR

(in British accent)

Nothing, lady.

MAGGIE

You stuck something in the cider.

TAYLOR

(in British accent) I did not. (in normal voice) Although if I did, it would be a thermometer and it might indicate that you are on the border of under-heating your cider.

MAGGIE

Get away from me.

TAYLOR

Gladly!

MAGGIE

Now. Right now.

JO

But I missed.

ZACH

Mrs.Kim, I need a word with you.

ZACH

You just couldn't wait to put her on the market again, could you?

ZACH

Who else? Lane! We only broke up a few weeks ago. What? You got her engaged already?

ZACH

To who? (points at Lane and Joe who are talking and laughing) The Korean Brad Pitt guy there with the Italian loafers and super white teeth. He's hanging all over her.

ZACH

What?

ZACH

That can't be her uncle. Uncles are old.

ZACH

Whoa, OK. Oops.

ZACH

But just to be clear here, she's not hot on her uncle? (at Mrs.Kim's stern look) She's not. Got it. Well... sorry. (starts to leave)

ZACH

All right.

ZACH

OK. (Mrs.Kim nods and walks away from him. He looks after her a bit stunned and then walks away too)

LORELAI

Ready?

LANE

Ready.

LORELAI

Spin the wheel. (she spins the wheel, and Paul Anka at some point stops it.

RORY

The Swami has chosen! (Lorelai takes the note that the swami has chosen)

LORELAI

Ready?

LANE

This is exciting.

LORELAI

(reads) "You will sing songs of gemstones".

LANE

Of gemstones!

RORY

How do you sing songs of gemstones?

LORELAI

Ah, I was a little tired when I wrote this one. Sorry. You want to pick another one? Swami do-overs are allowed.

LANE

(takes her fortune) No, I'll stick with this one. It's got an air of mystery. (Rory notices Luke walking up to them)

RORY

Hey, Luke, want Swami Doggy to read your fortune?

LUKE

Uh, maybe some other time. (at Lorelai) Hey.

LORELAI

Hey.

LUKE

Can we walk a little bit?

LORELAI

Yeah. (they walk off)

LUKE

I've got to apologize again. I should've told you immediately. I was just so confused. It's no excuse, but that's the excuse.

LORELAI

I know. I get it. Nothing can prepare you for this one.

LUKE

Yeah. I just didn't know how to tell you. I'm bad with things.

LORELAI

No, Luke. Listen, it's weird, you know, but we can make it work. I mean, she's there. April is there. Luckily you're with a woman who's raised a daughter and knows some of the ins and outs. I can help.

LUKE

I know you can. I guess it's just... Uh, it's just all so much right now. I've been dizzy for weeks.

LORELAI

Yeah, I know.

LUKE

Yeah, it's...

LORELAI

I felt like something was up.

LUKE

All too much, you know?

LORELAI

Well, what all? Everything or... ?

LUKE

Well, I've got a kid. She's here. You know, June 3rd.

LORELAI

What about June 3rd?

LUKE

It's just so soon.

LORELAI

It's still months away.

LUKE

Well, it feels close. It's everything, you know? It's all piling up. It's all happening so fast.

LORELAI

Well, if it's all happening too fast, you know, we can just postpone.

LUKE

Postpone the wedding?

LORELAI

Yeah, I mean, it's not set in stone. It just happened to work out for a date that soon. I don't want you going into this all jumbled up, you know?

LUKE

And that would be okay with you?

LORELAI

Sure.

LUKE

Well, that'll help. Yeah, that'll really help. That'll give me time to resolve this other thing, and everything will be better later on.

LORELAI

Well... great, then it's a done deal. (they kiss) Think it might be a health-code violation, kissing this close to the cotton candy booth.

LUKE

Meet me back at my place later?

LORELAI

Yeah, see you there. (they peck on the lips and Luke walks away. Lorelai looks on sadly after him)