T2E13: “A-Tisket, A-Tasket”

LORELAI

So I've decided I'm saving myself for William Holden.

RORY

Wow, it's nice out here in left field.

LORELAI

Hey, I'm sorry. Sunset Boulevard was on last night, and I don't know...I've known him for years – Sabrina, Stalag 17 – and yet last night something snapped.

RORY

I'll say.

LORELAI

I think it was the monkey scene.

RORY

You know he's dead, don't you?

LORELAI

The monkey?

RORY

William Holden!

LORELAI

Ugh, every great relationship has its obstacles. You'd know that if you weren't dating Andy Hardy.

RORY

This one?

LORELAI

Hm, no.

RORY

Why?

LORELAI

It’s too big, it raises expectations.

RORY

Like there’s actually a home-cooked lunch in there?

LORELAI

Instead of whatever is leftover in our refrigerator - exactly.

RORY

Okay, going back on the pile now.

LORELAI

Oh, it’s quaint, isn’t it? The women get to make a nice lunch basket, the men get to bid on it, and the world rotates backwards on its axis.

RORY

I think it’s fun.

LORELAI

That’s because you have a pretty boy to bid on your basket.

RORY

Yes I do.

LORELAI

Did you tell him to eat lunch first?

RORY

Hi, I love him, of course. Hey, I’m gonna look in the back.

LORELAI

All right, I’ll hit the front. [walks up front] Hey Patty. Shopping for baskets?

MISS PATTY

Oh please, I bought my basket weeks ago.

LORELAI

Always prepared.

MISS PATTY

Well, I’m getting that itch again.

LORELAI

Oh no, Patty, you don’t actually need another husband.

MISS PATTY

Well, need – no, but want – that’s a different story. Listen darling, do you happen to have change for a dollar?

LORELAI

I think so.

MISS PATTY

I don’t know where my quarters go.

LORELAI

Down some guy’s g-string, I would expect.

MISS PATTY

Oh no, a quarter would be insulting.

LORELAI

Here you go.

MISS PATTY

Oh, thank you so. . . ugh! [drops something out of her wallet]

LORELAI

I got it. [bends down to pick it up]

MISS PATTY

Oh no no , that’s okay.

LORELAI

This is a picture of me.

MISS PATTY

It is?

LORELAI

Yeah. Why do you have a picture of me in your wallet?

MISS PATTY

Oh, uh, well, it’s a very nice picture.

LORELAI

Thank you. Why do you have a very nice picture of me in your wallet?

MISS PATTY

I’m a stalker?

LORELAI

Or?

MISS PATTY

Or when, in my daily travels, I run across a nice single guy...

LORELAI

Oh God!

MISS PATTY

I like to have a visual aid to help me with the wonderful buildup I give you.

LORELAI

Patty, I appreciate the gesture but I don’t need you to try to set me up.

MISS PATTY

You’re such a beautiful girl and you deserve a nice guy.

LORELAI

I’ll have a nice guy, but let me find him, okay?

MISS PATTY

But you’re no good at finding him.

LORELAI

Patty.

MISS PATTY

Oh, all right.

LORELAI

Thank you. I’ll keep this if you don’t mind.

MISS PATTY

Stubborn girl.

DEAN

Not that one.

RORY

You get no say in the basket.

DEAN

I have to bid on it.

RORY

And you have to eat what’s inside it and you get no say in that either.

DEAN

Hey.

RORY

Yeah?

DEAN

Is Taylor behind me?

RORY

No. [they kiss; a noise interrupts them]

DEAN

What? Taylor? [he turns around to look] Jess.

JESS

Sorry to intrude.

DEAN

Then why did you?

JESS

Well, you’re having your vertical From Here to Eternity moment right in front of the super glue.

RORY

Oh.

JESS

Not that that’s not an appropriate place to be doing it in front of but - .

DEAN

Here’s your glue.

JESS

Thanks. As you were. [walks away]

DEAN

I really hate that guy.

RORY

He didn’t do anything.

DEAN

He’s here, he’s breathing, that’s enough.

RORY

I really wish you two could start over.

DEAN

Why?

RORY

Because he lives here and we run into him. He goes to school here. I just think it’d be easier.

DEAN

I’m fine with the whole hating him thing, thank you.

RORY

I just think it’s a waste of energy.

DEAN

You know, I’ll have a PowerBar.

RORY

Fine, forget it.

DEAN

So, uh, I should probably get back to work. We still on for tonight?

RORY

I don’t know. I might be baking.

DEAN

I’ll pick you up at seven. Get that one, it’s nice and small.

RORY

Bye.

RORY

God!

JESS

Sorry. Two for one sale.

LORELAI

Independence Inn, Lorelai speaking...Oh sure. Uh, what dates are you looking at? Hold on one sec. . . Um, would you like a king or a queen size bed? . . . Well, you have your choice. I’ve got a room with a king size and a room with two queens. . . Uh huh. . Oh, well, do you think you’ll make up by then? . . . Ugh. Yikes, well, I would take the room with the two queens. . . Uh huh. . . Uh huh. . . Oh God! Uh, sorry, no, nothing, nothing’s wrong. I. . everything’s . .yes, great, call me back when you know. Okay. Thank you.

LORELAI

So Patty has taken it upon herself to find me a man.

SOOKIE

Oh really?

LORELAI

Yes. Here in my hand I have the pictures and resumes of the top three contenders.

SOOKIE

Anyone good?

LORELAI

No, but two of them have run with the bulls. This is so humiliating. I can find my own man.

SOOKIE

She just loves you.

LORELAI

Yeah, but . . .you know, ew!

SOOKIE

Ugh.

JACKSON

Sookie?

SOOKIE

Jackson, don’t look!

JACKSON

What?

SOOKIE

Cover your eyes!

JACKSON

Okay, okay. I’m sorry, now why am I doing this?

SOOKIE

Because I’m baking for the picnic tomorrow and it’s supposed to be a surprise.

JACKSON

Oh sure, never see a pie before an auction, it’s bad luck.

LORELAI

Okay, uh, you guys talk, I have to go call Patty and stop the forced mating process. I feel like Ling-Ling the panda bear. Oh, hey, one of them’s seen Ghostbusters 124 times. Can you say score? [leaves]

SOOKIE

Okay, what’s up?

JACKSON

Well. . . I’m sorry, can I put my hand down? I need to look at you when I talk.

SOOKIE

Uh, hold on. Go.

JACKSON

I got a call from my landlord today reminding me that my lease is up at the end of this month.

SOOKIE

Uh huh.

JACKSON

So, of course, he wanted to know whether I was gonna re-up it or not.

SOOKIE

Uh huh.

JACKSON

But I told him that I had to talk to you first.

SOOKIE

Okay. About what?

JACKSON

About re-upping my lease.

SOOKIE

Mm hmm.

JACKSON

So what do you think?

SOOKIE

About re-upping your lease?

JACKSON

Yes.

SOOKIE

Well, you have a very nice kitchen.

JACKSON

Yes, I know.

SOOKIE

And I like your living room. Though that house across the street has sort of that creepy Miami Beach blue, which means that during the day you really can’t look out your window, but at night it’s not so bad.

JACKSON

Sookie, forget about the house across the street.

SOOKIE

Well, if you forget about the house across the street, I don’t see why you shouldn’t.

JACKSON

You don’t?

SOOKIE

Nope.

JACKSON

Oh, okay, fine. Um, I just wanted to check with you first.

SOOKIE

Oh, I appreciate that.

JACKSON

So, um, I guess I’ll go re-up my lease then.

SOOKIE

Sounds good.

JACKSON

Yeah. Sounds good.

LORELAI

You know what’s wonderful about this festival?

RORY

No, what?

LORELAI

That it always falls on the day after trash day. Therefore, all the stuff that you forgot to throw out that you would normally be stuck with for another whole week, you can instead put in a pretty basket and auction off for charity.

RORY

That is wonderful.

LANE

Okay, I’ve got it all worked out.

RORY

Tell please.

LANE

Well, I invited my cousin David to come and bid on my basket, you know, to keep my mother happy.

LORELAI

Uh huh.

LANE

Then when he gets it, we tell my mom we’re gonna go eat over at the park where Henry’s gonna call on the pay phone at exactly two o’clock for the ‘all is clear’ sigh. Then David, with the twenty bucks I give him, will disappear, Henry will arrive, and we’ll finally have out first official date.

LORELAI

My head is spinning.

LANE

Stash this at Miss Patty’s for me, okay?

RORY

Don’t you need this for David to bid on?

LANE

Oh no, my mom packed that one. You know, homemade granola, wheat grass juice, soy chicken taco.

LORELAI

Suddenly our lunches are looking pretty good.

LANE

This is the Henry basket. I went by Gianelli’s and stopped in and picked up a couple of meatball heroes and some chips. I also packed a change of clothes, makeup, makeup remover, and three temporary tattoos.

LORELAI

Sure, ‘cause four would be trashy.

LANE

I gotta go. I gotta sneak back into my house. Oh, I’m so excited! [leaves]

LORELAI

Ah man. I remember the days of lying to my mother about a boy. Once I had a boy hidden in the closet and of course Mom wouldn’t leave, so I finally had to pretend to get sick to my stomach just to get her out of the room long enough for him to climb out the window and down the tree. He fell, broke his leg. Ah, to be young again.

TAYLOR

Sold for fifteen dollars to the man in the yellow. Thank you very much. Now the next basket I have here is a lovely green wicker number that would be a charming addition to any room once the lunch is gone. Let’s start the bidding at five dollars. Do I hear five?

DAVID

Five dollars.

TAYLOR

Okay, I have five dollars. Do I hear ten?

KIRK

Ten dollars. [Mrs. Kim glares at him] Withdrawn.

TAYLOR

Okay, I’m still at five, do I hear ten? Five going once, five going twice, sold to the young man for five dollars. You know what’s nice, you can put a couple of extra rolls of toilet paper in there and stick it someplace in the bathroom – decorative and convenient. Now this next one may not look like much ...

RORY

Mine.

LORELAI

Nice.

TAYLOR

... but remember people – good things come in small packages.

LORELAI

How badly does he want to be hosting a game show?

RORY

Hm, he can taste it.

TAYLOR

Let's start the bidding at three dollars.

RORY

Hey!

DEAN

Five dollars.

TAYLOR

Now that's the kind of bidding we want to hear today.

LORELAI

He's good. He's very good.

TAYLOR

Five dollars, do I hear ten dollars?

JESS

Ten dollars.

TAYLOR

Okay, I have ten dollars. Do I have fifteen?

JESS

Twenty.

TAYLOR

Twenty dollars, do I hear twenty-five?

DEAN

Thirty.

TAYLOR

Okay, see, you boys don't seem to understand the way this thing works.

JESS

Forty dollars.

DEAN

Fifty dollars.

TAYLOR

Excuse me, have either of you noticed how tiny this thing is?

JESS

Seventy-five.

TAYLOR

Now we’re not talking cents gentlemen, we’re talking dollars remember.

LORELAI

Uh oh. Dean's hesitating.

DEAN

Eighty.

RORY

He does not have eighty dollars to spend on that basket.

TAYLOR

Eighty? Eighty dollars?

JESS

Ninety.

TAYLOR

Ninety dollars, is that correct?

LORELAI

You know, I don’t think he'll have to.

TAYLOR

Okay, we've got ninety going once, ninety dollars going twice. . . sold to the nice young hoodlum in the back for ninety dollars.

LORELAI

I'm trying to think, uh, in what scenario this situation could be construed as positive.

RORY

Well . . .

LORELAI

Well, no one's head's on fire.

RORY

I better go talk to Dean.

LORELAI

Do you want some help?

RORY

No, it's okay. I’m just officially not a fan of unpredictability.

LORELAI

I totally understand. Good luck.

TAYLOR

Five dollars on this one, do I hear five dollars?

MAN

Five!

TAYLOR

Five dollars, that's good. Thanks you, how about ten dollars?

MAN

I'll go ten!

TAYLOR

Ten dollars - let's keep going. Look at the size of this . . .

DEAN

I’m gonna kill him.

RORY

Dean, he was probably just fooling around or something.

DEAN

No, he was messing with me.

RORY

I don’t - .

DEAN

He was messing with me and it’s the last time, I swear to God.

RORY

Dean, calm down.

DEAN

Why would he do this?

RORY

Maybe he was hungry.

DEAN

He’s trying to make me crazy.

RORY

Just don’t let him.

JESS

I gotta tell you, of all the nutty barn raising shindigs this town can cook up, this one wasn’t half bad.

DEAN

Glad you enjoyed it.

JESS

Yes I did. So shall we?

DEAN

Shall we what?

JESS

Shall we go?

DEAN

Go where?

JESS

Go eat.

DEAN

Excuse me?

JESS

The person who buys the basket wins the company of the person who makes the basket for lunch. Basket, basket maker, guy who didn’t bring enough money.

DEAN

You think this is funny.

JESS

Well, it’s no Lenny Bruce routine but it has its moments.

DEAN

Bye Jess.

JESS

Where you going?

DEAN

You’re the one who’s going.

JESS

Oh, as soon as Rory is ready.

DEAN

She’s not going with you.

JESS

Really, is that true?

DEAN

Yes, it’s true.

JESS

Excuse me Edgar Bergen, I think I’d like Charlie McCarthy to answer now.

DEAN

Shut up.

RORY

Dean.

DEAN

What?

RORY

Well...

DEAN

Oh, come on!

RORY

It’s tradition.

DEAN

I don’t believe this.

RORY

It’s true. My mother and I have been doing this every year since we moved here.

DEAN

So buck tradition.

RORY

Are you kidding? Do you remember how mad Taylor was when I was sick and I couldn’t go to the turkey-calling contest?

DEAN

This isn’t school, you’re not getting graded.

RORY

Just don’t make this into a big thing.

DEAN

Don’t go.

JESS

Oh geez man, she’s not shipping off to ‘Nam.

DEAN

You SO need to shut up now.

RORY

Look, Dean, it’s a picnic, it’s lunch. We’ll sit, we’ll eat, it’s over.

DEAN

No.

RORY

What do you think’s gonna happen?

JESS

Yeah, I think I’d like to hear this one also.

DEAN

I don’t want you to go.

RORY

Dean!

DEAN

Fine, forget it, go. [walks away]

RORY

[follows him] Please don’t walk away like that.

DEAN

Sorry, I’d do a silly walk but I’m not feeling very John Cleese right now.

RORY

Dean, this isn’t my fault. I didn’t ask him to do that, I didn’t tell him to do that. Dean, you’re my boyfriend. I would never do anything to hurt you.

DEAN

Yeah? You’re doing it right now. [walks away]

TAYLOR

Going once, going twice. . .sold for twenty-five dollars! Congratulations. Thank you. Oh Lord, will you look at this? Ladies and gentlemen, now this is a basket.

TAYLOR

Let’s start the bidding on this delicious treat at ten dollars. Do I hear ten dollars?

KIRK

Ten dollars.

ANDREW

Fifteen dollars.

TAYLOR

I have fifteen dollars.

KIRK

Twenty dollars.

TAYLOR

Twenty dollars, I have twenty dollars. Is that my final offer?

KIRK

All right, fine, twenty-five.

TAYLOR

Kirk, you just offered twenty, you upped your own bid.

SOOKIE

I‘m sorry, can we stop the bidding for just a second?

TAYLOR

Sookie, you know the rules.

SOOKIE

Yes, but I – .

TAYLOR

We have twenty-five dollars. Do I hear thirty?

SOOKIE

Jackson.

ANDREW

Thirty, if there’s pie.

TAYLOR

There are no contingencies Andrew.

KIRK

Thirty-five.

TAYLOR

Andrew?

SOOKIE

Jackson?

ANDREW

I’m not going any higher without the promise of pie.

TAYLOR

Thirty-five going once, thirty-five going twice. . .sold to Kirk for thirty-five dollars.

KIRK

Yes, finally! You know, if it hadn’t have been for me I could’ve had it for twenty-five.

SOOKIE

Hey, what is wrong with you? I gave you all the signals. The pointing, the waving, the mouthing ‘That’s my basket.’ Didn’t you see the mouthing?

JACKSON

Yes, I saw the mouthing.

SOOKIE

Well, why didn’t you bid?

JACKSON

I don’t know. It just didn’t feel right.

SOOKIE

What are you talking about, it didn’t feel right? I made four kinds of pesto and three different desserts. Plus the entire basket is an edible pretzel with a goat cheese filling.

JACKSON

Well, I hope Kirk enjoys it.

SOOKIE

I don’t understand.

JACKSON

Oh, come on Sookie.

SOOKIE

What?

JACKSON

I told you that the lease was up on my apartment, and I asked you if you thought that I should renew the lease on my apartment and you said yes!

SOOKIE

Do you not like that apartment?

JACKSON

No, I love that apartment. It’s perfect, the ultimate bachelor pad. It’s just big enough for one.

SOOKIE

Oh.

JACKSON

Only here’s the thing. You and I, we’ve been dating for awhile and I don’t know, I thought things were going pretty well.

SOOKIE

Things are going really well.

JACKSON

Okay, so I had this crazy thought that since things were going really well that maybe it was time to take a step forward.

SOOKIE

You wanted to move in together?

JACKSON

Well, I at least wanted to consider moving in together.

SOOKIE

Oh, uh, I hadn’t even thought about it.

JACKSON

You hadn’t?

SOOKIE

Well, no.

JACKSON

Oh, my mistake then. I thought we were on the same wavelength. We weren’t, no problem, enjoy your lunch.

SOOKIE

Jackson, I lied. I have thought about it - a lot. Our bathroom’s gonna be pink. I’m sorry.

JACKSON

Well, why didn’t you say something?

SOOKIE

I didn’t want to ruin anything. We’re doing so well, we have so much fun, it’s all working.

JACKSON

Why would living together mess all that up?

SOOKIE

I don’t know. We’d see each other every day.

JACKSON

We see each other every day now.

SOOKIE

And you’d find out all my annoying little quirks.

JACKSON

Hey, I’ve got annoying quirks too, you know.

SOOKIE

I know.

JACKSON

What’s that supposed to mean?

SOOKIE

And you might get sick of me.

JACKSON

Or you might get sick of me.

SOOKIE

No, that’s not gonna happen.

JACKSON

Well, if that’s not gonna happen, then what’s the problem?

SOOKIE

The problem is that Kirk is gonna eat my goat cheese basket.

JACKSON

Not if I have anything to say about it. [they kiss] How’s that for not getting sick of you? Now if you’ll excuse me, I got a basket to get.

TAYLOR

Next up – why, that looks like a Doose’s market basket. Nice, huh?

LORELAI

Ooh, that’s mine.

TAYLOR

I’d like to start the bidding at five dollars.

GUY 1

I bid five dollars.

LORELAI

Whoa, that was quick.

GUY 2

Ten dollars.

LORELAI

Do they know that all that’s in there is two stale Pop Tarts and a Slim Jim?

GUY 3

Fifteen dollars.

LORELAI

He looks familiar.

GUY 1

Twenty dollars.

TAYLOR

Twenty dollars.

LORELAI

So does he.

GUY 2

Twenty-five.

TAYLOR

This is going very well gentlemen, keep it up.

LORELAI

Oh no. [walks over to Miss Patty] Those are the guys, aren’t they?

MISS PATTY

Excuse me?

LORELAI

The guys whose pictures you sent me - you brought them here! You’re setting me up!

MISS PATTY

Well darling, you can’t be trusted to do it yourself.

LORELAI

Oh geez, oh geez!

GUY 2

Thirty-five.

MISS PATTY

That one’s a snorkler.

LORELAI

Ugh! [runs away]

LORELAI

Luke! Where is he, where is he? I need him! Caesar, where is - agh, agh, thank God. Hey, hey, you gotta come with me.

LUKE

What are you doing? Hey hey, I got plates here!

LORELAI

Put the burgers down. Caeser, you're in charge.

LUKE

Now wait.

LORELAI

Do you have money? I need money. Which one opens this thing? Is it that one, not that one.

LUKE

Stop messing with that.

LORELAI

Luke, you gotta come out there with me. Patty gave my picture out to all these guys because she thinks I need a man.

LUKE

You do, one with a nice couch and a deep knowledge of Freud.

LORELAI

You have to come out and bid on my basket.

LUKE

Are you serious?

LORELAI

Yes.

LUKE

I have never in my life taken part in one of these crazy group flip outs. I'm not about to start now.

LORELAI

But - right now - out there – the -.

LUKE

Just buy your own basket.

LORELAI

I cannot buy my own basket.

LUKE

Why not?

LORELAI

Because that is pathetic.

LUKE

And chasing me around my diner begging me to buy your basket?

LORELAI

Also pathetic. But that is a pathetic I can live with, where that pathetic is a truly pathetic pathetic, and only you can save me from the double pathetic! Please!

LUKE

I can't believe I'm doing this.

LORELAI

Ha ha! Hurry up. Hurry up!

GUY 1

Forty-five fifty.

GUY 2

Forty-six.

GUY 3

Forty-six fifty.

GUY 1

Forty-seven.

LORELAI

Go, go on.

LUKE

Forty-seven dollars, are you kidding?

LORELAI

Luke!

GUY 2

Forty-seven fifty!

LUKE

For what? Two stale Pop Tarts and a Slim Jim?

LORELAI

Okay, you're not getting the whole saving me here thing, are you?

LUKE

Fine. Forty-eight.

GUY 1

Forty-eight fifty.

LUKE

Forty-nine.

GUY 2

Forty-nine fifty.

LUKE

Uh, fifty-two fifty.

GUY 1

What? We're just supposed to go to fifty.

LUKE

I have a life.

LORELAI

Fifty-two fifty going once!

TAYLOR

Hey, hey, that's my job! Fifty-two fifty going once, fifty-two fifty going twice . . .

LORELAI

Oh, please God.

TAYLOR

Sold for fifty-two fifty.

LORELAI

Yes! Ha, ha, sorry guys, don’t feel bad. I’m totally into Dungeons and Dragons. You’ve skated.

TAYLOR

And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes the basket bidding for today. Victors come claim your prizes and your dates. Let the lunching begin!

LORELAI

You rock!

LUKE

Thank you.

LORELAI

You're welcome.

LUKE

So what do we do now?

LORELAI

I guess we eat.

LUKE

This?

LORELAI

Yeah.

LUKE

First I have to buy it, then I have to eat it?

LORELAI

Hey, the basket of botulism does come with my company.

LUKE

Huh. You don't eat with your mouth open do you?

LORELAI

Women don't eat at all. We just look at food and jump on the treadmill.

LUKE

All right, let's go.

JESS

You know, there’s nothing there.

RORY

Yes, I know.

JESS

You going after him?

RORY

Not right now.

JESS

So then, shall we?

RORY

Fine, come on.

JACKSON

I’ve been looking all over for you.

KIRK

Any idea what this is?

JACKSON

Uh, yeah, it’s a pineapple–cranberry chutney.

KIRK

Ech.

JACKSON

Listen, I’d like to talk to you about this basket. As you know, Sookie made it and since Sookie and I are seeing each other, naturally she assumed that I would bid on it.

KIRK

Where are the carrot sticks? Every lunch has carrot sticks.

JACKSON

But see, I was a little upset about a fight we had had, and so I didn’t bid on the basket.

KIRK

I love carrot sticks, especially the crinkle cut kind.

JACKSON

However, we just made up and now I’d like to have lunch with Sookie, so. . . I need the basket.

KIRK

This is my basket.

JACKSON

Yes, but I’d like you to give it to me so that I can have lunch with Sookie.

KIRK

I bought this basket. The rules are whoever bids the highest gets to keep the basket.

JACKSON

Yeah, I understand the rules but - .

KIRK

I bid the highest, I bought the basket, I get the basket.

JACKSON

Okay Kirk, I’ll pay you for it. I’ll give you forty-five dollars, that’s ten dollars more than you paid for it.

KIRK

No.

JACKSON

Okay, fifty dollars.

KIRK

No.

JACKSON

Kirk, this is insane. I’ll buy you another basket.

KIRK

I don’t need you to buy me another basket. I won this one. You can’t just come by and take it away. Just because you have a girlfriend and she made this basket for you doesn’t give you the right to bully those of us who don’t have girlfriends or anybody to make a basket for them.

JACKSON

Well, I wasn’t trying to bully you.

KIRK

Not this year, not last year, not the year before that.

JACKSON

Okay Kirk.

KIRK

My mother didn’t even make one for me.

JACKSON

Oh, that’s very sad.

KIRK

She made one for all my brothers and sisters but not for me.

JACKSON

That’s terrible, Kirk.

KIRK

Twelve brothers and sisters, the only one without a basket – me.

JACKSON

Okay Kirk, what’s it gonna take?

KIRK

Two hundred and fifty dollars.

JACKSON

Kirk, you’re kidding me.

KIRK

Twelve brothers and sisters.

JACKSON

Will you take a check?

KIRK

With two forms of ID.

JACKSON

I swear, you better be as pathetic as you sound.

KIRK

Oh, trust me

LANE

What time is it?

DAVID

Three o’clock.

LANE

I don’t understand, Henry should’ve called by now. Give me some change. [walks over to pay phone] Oh my God, it’s not working!

DAVID

Great, can I have his lunch now?

LANE

I’ll be right back.

LORELAI

We're supposed to be eating on the ground.

LUKE

Says who?

LORELAI

Every picture you've ever seen of a picnic shows people eating on the ground.

LUKE

Yes, and every time I have seen a picture of people eating on the ground I've thought, what the hell are you people doing sitting on the ground? Spring for some beach chairs, you cheapskates.

LANE

Hey Lorelai, do you have your cell phone?

LORELAI

Yeah, is everything okay hon?

LANE

I just need to make a call.

LORELAI

Here you go.

LANE

I'll be right back.

LORELAI

Hey, where are you going?

LUKE

I am going to the diner, I am going to get us some edible food and I’m gonna bring it back here for us to eat.

LORELAI

That is so not the point of today. I made this. I am insulted. I will now proceed to pout.

LUKE

I'll bring back some brownies.

LORELAI

Ooh, the pouting has left the building.

HENRY

Hello?

LANE

Hello, Henry?

HENRY

Lane, I’ve been trying to call you.

LANE

I know, the pay phone is broken.

HENRY

I thought the number was wrong and I didn’t know what to do, so I. . .

LANE

What, you what?

HENRY

I called your house and your mother answered.

LANE

What did you say?

HENRY

I asked for you and then she asked why, and I said because and she said because why, and I got nervous and tried to sell her a subscription to the Wall Street Journal.

LANE

Oh, were you successful?

HENRY

Lane.

LANE

Sorry, but at least she doesn’t know, right?

HENRY

I guess not.

LANE

Okay, then we’re still good. Can you meet me now?

HENRY

I don’t know.

LANE

I know it’s later than we planned, but we still have a little time and I saved your lunch from David.

HENRY

David?

LANE

My cousin, the decoy.

HENRY

Oh, right.

LANE

So we’ll rendezvous where I told you. Just drive by, honk twice, go around the block, and the second time you pass I’ll jump in the car.

HENRY

Gee, do you even want me to slow down?

LANE

Well yeah, of course. I mean, not to a total stop -.

HENRY

Lane, I don’t think this is gonna work out.

LANE

What

HENRY

This - you, me.

LANE

Are you breaking up with me?

HENRY

How can I break up with you? I’ve never been out with you.

LANE

Well yeah, but that’s what today was supposed to be, a date.

HENRY

A date where we need a secret plan and a two-honk driveby and a decoy cousin?

LANE

Well, yeah.

HENRY

Lane, I like you but I want to be able to actually pick you up, stop the car, and take you out. And I wanna be able to call you, at your house.

LANE

I’m gonna tell my mother, I promise.

HENRY

When?

LANE

Soon.

HENRY

Yeah. Look, I’ve got prom coming up and my friends and I are gonna rent a limo to take us there and I wanna go, and I wanna take a date.

LANE

Well, I’m sure I can figure something out. Maybe Rory can – .

HENRY

I asked somebody else.

LANE

Oh.

HENRY

I’m sorry, I just figured you’d never be able to go and - .

LANE

No, it’s okay, that’s good. You should’ve asked someone else.

HENRY

I do like you Lane.

LANE

Okay, well, thank you, I appreciate that. I have to go.

HENRY

Lane.

MRS. KIM

David came by here fifteen minutes ago, said you ran off somewhere! Where did you run?

LANE

Nowhere.

MRS. KIM

Who is he?

LANE

Who?

MRS. KIM

The boy you ran off to see! The one who calls here pretending to work for the Wall Street Journal!

LANE

There’s no boy.

MRS. KIM

You know the rules, no boys! Not unless I approve and I don’t approve!

LANE

How do you know?

MRS. KIM

I know, I know! You’re sneaking, you’re lying, that means something’s wrong with this boy!

LANE

There’s nothing wrong with this boy. He’s perfect and he likes me and I was so afraid to tell you about him that now he’s gonna take somebody else to the prom and I blew it!

MRS. KIM

You go upstairs right now and calm down!

LANE

Fine!

MRS. KIM

Now!

LANE

Fine! [stomps up the stairs]

MRS. KIM

That is not calming down!

JESS

Where do you wanna eat?

RORY

Don’t care.

JESS

Okay.

RORY

Where are you going?

JESS

Thought you didn’t care.

RORY

I’m not jumping in the lake.

JESS

No underwater dining, got it.

RORY

Now what?

JESS

Now we sit.

RORY

Here?

JESS

Yup.

RORY

On the bridge, that’s where we’re gonna eat?

JESS

Yup.

RORY

Okay.

JESS

Yeah, I like this place.

RORY

Wow. A place in Stars Hollow you actually like. I’m stunned.

JESS

It’s got some good memories. You see right over there?

RORY

Yup.

JESS

That’s where Luke pushed me in.

RORY

Huh.

JESS

Yeah.

RORY

It’s nice.

JESS

It is.

RORY

So why’d you do it?

JESS

Do what?

RORY

Outbid Dean like that.

JESS

I don’t know. I guess it started as a joke just to bug him, but then he just got so mad, you know? And he is so tall, and I just was looking at him and he’s standing there all tall and mad and I just. . .I don’t know. It was. . .it was really funny.

RORY

It wasn’t funny.

JESS

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I didn’t intend to do it. Does that make you feel any better?

RORY

I just don’t wanna be in a fight with Dean.

JESS

I’m sorry about that. You wanna push me in the lake? It’s cathartic, I hear.

RORY

Hm, maybe in a little.

JESS

Whatever. So why don’t we open this thing?

RORY

Go ahead.

JESS

Wow. Not one thing in here that I would remotely consider eating.

RORY

Well, I didn’t make it for you. I made it for Dean.

JESS

And Dean would’ve eaten this? [holds up a container]

RORY

Yes, he would have.

JESS

Dean is an idiot.

RORY

Dean never would’ve fallen for that.

JESS

Ah, ha ha.

SOOKIE

I can’t believe he wouldn’t take your check.

JACKSON

Well, apparently, I don’t look like my picture.

SOOKIE

He’s a loon.

JACKSON

Yeah. It’s okay. I’m paying him off in weekly installment in crinkle cut carrot sticks.

SOOKIE

I’m glad we made up.

JACKSON

Yeah, me too.

SOOKIE

And you know, if you still wanted to talk about, you know, what we were talking about, we could talk about it now.

JACKSON

Hmm, nah.

SOOKIE

Excuse me?

JACKSON

I don’t know. I’m having second thoughts.

SOOKIE

You are?

JACKSON

Yeah. I mean, living together - big deal, right?

SOOKIE

Oh right. Big deal. Who cares? Not me. No siree, Bob. So, I’m sorry, you don’t think we should live together anymore?

JACKSON

Nope.

SOOKIE

Okay.

JACKSON

I think we should get married.

SOOKIE

What?

JACKSON

I think we should get married.

SOOKIE

But – uh, but. . .

JACKSON

Soon.

SOOKIE

Are you pregnant?

JACKSON

What do you say? Sookie?

SOOKIE

Yes! I say yes. Oh my God, we’re getting married! You do know that this means we’ll have to live together, right?

JACKSON

Yes I do.

SOOKIE

Okay, good.

LORELAI

You know, your burgers actually taste better outside.

LUKE

Good. Next time the roof in the diner’s leaking, I’ll just rip the stupid thing off.

LORELAI

So this is nice, huh? Come on, admit it.

LUKE

Never.

LORELAI

What? Admit it, you would much rather be sitting out here than inside working.

LUKE

The diner’s probably on fire by now.

LORELAI

You are stubborn.

LUKE

I’m stubborn?

LORELAI

Yeah, you’re stubborn.

LUKE

You’re Miss Flexibility over here?

LORELAI

Hey, I can be flexible.

LUKE

Please.

LORELAI

I can. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

LUKE

Ah, well, my mistake.

LORELAI

Do you want a fry?

LUKE

You want a carrot?

LORELAI

Impossible.

LUKE

Right back at ya. So let me ask you something.

LORELAI

Napkin, please.

LUKE

Who did you want to get your basket?

LORELAI

What?

LUKE

I mean, before you knew Patty was gonna put you on the Dating Game, you did pack this disgusting lunch and bring it out here, so who did you want to get it?

LORELAI

Well, last year Roy Wilkins bought it and I got my sprinklers fixed for half price.

LUKE

Uh huh.

LORELAI

And this year my rain gutters are completely clogged, and I thought if I could get the Collins kid to bite, I’d get that taken care of.

LUKE

Very practical.

LORELAI

I thought so.

LUKE

So the participation in this thing was purely for home improvement reasons?

LORELAI

Yes. And I don’t know, it’s a nice concept.

LUKE

What is?

LORELAI

Just having someone who you love or have some kind of crazy crush on bid on your basket and then share a romantic lunch, it’s a nice concept.

LUKE

Well, I’m sure someday you’ll manage to find the right guy and drag him out to this thing and make him by your stupid basket and then you’ll be sitting out here with him.

LORELAI

Yeah, someday.

LUKE

You know what?

LORELAI

What?

LUKE

This is nice.

DEAN

I have to talk to you.

LORELAI

Oh, yeah, okay. I’ll be right back.

LUKE

I’ll be right here.

LORELAI

Hey, how’re you doing?

DEAN

Uh, I’m not great.

LORELAI

Aw, Dean, it’s just a silly town thing.

DEAN

I know, and I’ve been telling myself that and I tried to go home and forget about it, but I can’t. I’m worried about Rory. I don’t think she should be hanging out with this guy.

LORELAI

Well, I know that today was kind of a. . .

DEAN

It’s got nothing to do with today. I mean, yes, it has a little to do with today but it’s more than that. Ever since I’ve met him, I’ve had this feeling that he was bad news.

LORELAI

Yes, Jess has a few issues.

DEAN

Yeah, one issue is that he’s a complete jerk. I mean, he’s always getting in fights at school. That is, when he bothers to show up at all. And he’s just. . . I don’t know. And now this whole thing with Rory, it’s like he’s always around.

LORELAI

You sound jealous.

DEAN

I’m not jealous. He just. . . she has to be nice to everyone, you know?

LORELAI

I know. But hon, that’s Rory.

DEAN

Well, he’s gonna get her into trouble. I can feel it, I just know it. And he doesn’t care about her, he’s just using her to drive me crazy.

LORELAI

Dean, you love Rory, right?

DEAN

Yeah.

LORELAI

So, part of love is trust. You just have to trust her.

DEAN

I do trust her, it’s - .

LORELAI

Him, I know. But flying off the handle like this is not gonna get you what you want. She cares about you, she’s not gonna do anything to mess things up with you guys. I know this.

DEAN

I hope you’re right.

RORY

Ten.

JESS

Ten?

RORY

Yeah but I didn’t understand a word of it, so I had to reread it when I was fifteen.

JESS

I’ve yet to make it through it.

RORY

Really? Try it. The Fountainhead is classic.

JESS

Yeah, but Ayn Rand is a political nut.

RORY

Yeah, but nobody could write a forty page monologue the way that she could.

JESS

Okay, tomorrow I will try again, and you will. . .

RORY

Give the painful Ernest Hemingway another chance. Yes, I promise.

JESS

You know, Ernest only has lovely things to say about you.

RORY

Why are you only nice to me?

JESS

Excuse me?

RORY

An hour ago you were totally screwing with Dean and now you’re totally nice to me.

JESS

You see, it’s the screwing with Dean - that’s an important step to getting here so that I can be nice to you.

RORY

So it was a plan.

JESS

What?

RORY

The whole bidding on my basket, it was a plan.

JESS

Okay, I’m officially starving.

RORY

And officially evasive.

JESS

Come on, I’ll get you a pizza.

RORY

Answer my question.

JESS

Do you like pepperoni?

RORY

Not going to, are you?

JESS

We can just get it on half if you want.

RORY

Okay, I give, let’s go.

JESS

If you insist.

RORY

Mom?

LORELAI

Oh, hey. Where’ve you been? I thought Taylor auctioned you off to the highest bidder.

RORY

No, I just went to get some pizza and I, uh, wandered around the bookstore for a little while. Here. [hands her a book]

LORELAI

What’s this?

RORY

You said you wanted to read the Children’s Hour.

LORELAI

I did?

RORY

The other night when we were watching Julia, and Jane Fonda was playing Lillian Hellman.

LORELAI

Oh yeah, and I made the Hellmann’s mayonnaise joke.

RORY

Which no one ever needs to hear again.

LORELAI

Right, right. Well, thanks.

RORY

You’re welcome.

LORELAI

So who were you with?

RORY

What?

LORELAI

Pizza, book buying - did you have company?

RORY

Oh, yeah.

LORELAI

Who?

RORY

Um, Jess.

LORELAI

Jess?

RORY

Yeah.

LORELAI

Right.

RORY

So, I’ll be in my room.

LORELAI

Okay, good.

LORELAI

So how was the picnic?

RORY

Fine.

LORELAI

Good. Did you get the Dean issue resolved?

RORY

Not yet. He’s coming over later and we’re gonna smooth things over hopefully.

LORELAI

Aw, yeah, well, smoothing’s good. I love the smoothing. So, how was it with Jess?

RORY

Fine.

LORELAI

Well obviously, the pizza and the books. So good, that’s. . .I’m glad.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

What what?

RORY

Well, you look like you have something to say.

LORELAI

I have nothing to say. I never have anything to say.

RORY

Yes, that is your reputation.

LORELAI

It’s. . .I don’t know. I’m just surprised that you’re hanging out with him, that’s all.

RORY

Why?

LORELAI

He doesn’t seem like the nicest kid.

RORY

Well, you don’t know him.

LORELAI

No, I guess not.

RORY

You’re just judging him by that one time that he came over here.

LORELAI

Which, by the way, was not a rousing success.

RORY

He had just moved here. He was mad at his mom. Trust me, he’s got a really good side to him. You’ll see it eventually.

LORELAI

Good, I can’t wait.

RORY

Mom.

LORELAI

No, well, I’m sorry. It’s. . I just, uh, I don’t know. From the things I’ve seen and the things I hear. . .

RORY

Like what things?

LORELAI

The vandalism, the stealing, the cutting school, the fighting.

RORY

How do you know about the fighting?

LORELAI

Well, Dean told me.

RORY

Dean?

LORELAI

Yes.

RORY

You’ve been discussing this with Dean?

LORELAI

No, he discussed it with me.

RORY

When?

LORELAI

Today. Rory, he’s really upset about this.

RORY

So he went running to my mother?

LORELAI

Well, he needed someone to talk to.

RORY

Well, he could’ve talked to me.

LORELAI

No, he couldn’t ‘cause you were off with Jess.

RORY

You’re taking his side?

LORELAI

I’m not taking sides here, okay? I’m Swiss, babe.

RORY

I wasn’t off with Jess. I. . .Jess outbid him.

LORELAI

I know.

RORY

Well, the rule is that if one person outbids someone else, then. . .

LORELAI

Rory, this is not about the rule. I know what the rule is. This is about Dean being concerned that you’re hanging out with someone who can get you hurt.

RORY

How could Jess get me hurt?

LORELAI

I don’t know, hon. In the short amount of time he’s been here, he’s managed to make a lot of enemies.

RORY

I’m sorry, when did I move to Salem?

LORELAI

People are concerned about you, you know? You’re young and naïve and you think that everyone has some good inside if you give them a chance.

RORY

So you’re saying that Jess is no good?

LORELAI

I’ve known guys like Jess. He seems cool because he’s got this dangerous vibe and this problem with authority and he’s seen a lot of Sylvester Stallone movies.

RORY

Oh my God.

LORELAI

But guys like this get into trouble which, if you hang out with them, gets you into trouble and I don’t want you to get into trouble.

RORY

I’m sorry, are we talking about Dean still or are we suddenly talking about you?

LORELAI

Hey, I’ve been there, okay? You haven’t.

RORY

Been where? I mean, we got pizza, we looked at some books. God, I can’t even believe that I’m having this conversation with you. I mean, with you of all people. I mean. . . I don’t even want to talk about this anymore.

LORELAI

Rory.

RORY

No, I’m going for a walk.

LORELAI

Uh, Dean is gonna be here any minute.

RORY

Well, he probably wants to talk to you anyhow.

EMILY

A cigar club. Can you imagine a more disgusting organization to join? Your grandfather now pays money to sit in an enclosed room with a bunch of other men and blow smoke in each other’s faces. Twice a week he comes home smelling like a flophouse. So I finally just confronted him. I said, ‘Richard, I know you’re going through a transitional period here and I encourage your trying out new things, but this seems completely out of character for you.’ I’m sorry, am I boring you?

LORELAI

No, you’re not.

RORY

Sorry Grandma.

EMILY

So how are things at the inn?

LORELAI

Fine, the same.

EMILY

And Rory, how’s that boyfriend of yours?

RORY

Apparently very chatty.

EMILY

Well that’s nice. Lorelai, anything new with you?

LORELAI

No, nothing. It’s been pretty quiet around the house lately.

EMILY

Well, sometimes quiet can be nice. Soothing. You can hear yourself think. All right, what’s going on with you too?

LORELAI

Nothing.

EMILY

It’s not nothing. You’ve both been sitting here all night, not saying a word and not even looking at each other. Are you in a fight?

LORELAI

I’m not.

RORY

Please.

LORELAI

Please what? You are the one who’s been freezing me out all week.

RORY

I just haven’t had anything to say. [her pager goes off]

LORELAI

Who is it?

RORY

No one.

LORELAI

Why won’t you tell me who?

RORY

‘Cause it’s no one.

LORELAI

Is it Jess?

RORY

You’re kidding, right?

EMILY

Jess, who’s Jess?

LORELAI

No, I’m not kidding.

RORY

Why would you automatically assume that it’s Jess?

LORELAI

Because why won’t you tell me who it is?

EMILY

Who’s Jess?

LORELAI

Luke’s nephew.

RORY

It’s not Jess, okay? It’s Dean. You wanna read it? Oh wait, no. Dean will probably tell you all about it later.

LORELAI

That’s not funny. You know, all week you’ve been - .

RORY

We’re not getting into this again.

EMILY

What? Getting into what? Is it about this Jess the thing you’re not getting into again?

RORY

You know, you never liked Dean at the beginning.

LORELAI

That’s because I didn’t know him.

RORY

And now you don’t like Jess?

LORELAI

That’s because I know him.

EMILY

Are you dating Jess? What happened to Dean?

RORY

I’m not dating Jess.

LORELAI

No, but he’s trying to weasel his way in.

RORY

He’s not trying to weasel his way.

EMILY

In where?

LORELAI

In Rory’s world. He has his eye on her, and he’s trouble.

RORY

He’s not trouble.

LORELAI

Yes he is.

EMILY

Rory, if your mother thinks this boy isn’t appropriate company for you then you need to listen to her.

LORELAI

There, thank you Mom.

RORY

Excuse me, but I don’t feel very hungry right now. [leaves table]

MRS. KIM

Kim’s Antiques, we’re closed, call tomorrow.

RORY

Mrs. Kim, it’s Rory.

MRS. KIM

It’s after nine.

RORY

I know.

MRS. KIM

Lane can’t talk after nine.

RORY

Mrs. Kim, I promise I will never again call Lane after nine, but can I please just talk to her now? Just this once?

MRS. KIM

Okay, just this once.

RORY

Thank you.

MRS. KIM

Lane?

LANE

What?

MRS. KIM

Phone.

LANE

But it’s after nine.

MRS. KIM

It’s okay, it’s Rory.

LANE

I don’t want to talk right now.

MRS. KIM

Rory?

RORY

Yes?

MRS. KIM

Lane’s not feeling well, she needs to call you tomorrow.

RORY

Oh, okay. Um, thanks anyhow.

MRS. KIM

Yes, goodbye. [hangs up] Lane!

MRS. KIM

It’s early for you to be in bed.

LANE

I’m tired.

MRS. KIM

Come downstairs and have some tea.

LANE

No, thank you.

MRS. KIM

I know you’re upset but I have these rules for a reason. I’m your mother, I know what’s best for you.

LANE

Can we talk about this tomorrow please?

MRS. KIM

You see, this is exactly why I make these rules. You’re too young, too vulnerable. American boys have different values, they don’t understand respect, you get hurt. I do all of this so you don’t get hurt and now here you are hurt. I don’t like this, I don’t like this at all. Who is he, this boy who hurt you?

LANE

Henry Cho.

MRS. KIM

Cho?

LANE

Yes.

MRS. KIM

Cho sounds Korean.

LANE

It is Korean.

MRS. KIM

He was Korean?

LANE

Yes, and he was smart and wonderful and cute.

MRS. KIM

And – and you’re sure he was Korean?

LANE

He’s gonna be a doctor, he goes to church, he’s a counselor at Bible camp, and he liked me.

MRS. KIM

A doctor.

LANE

I’m so stupid. I should’ve just told you and I didn’t and now he’s gone and I’m just stupid.

MRS. KIM

Maybe I can call his mother.

LANE

I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

MRS. KIM

You’re sure he was Korean?

LORELAI

I swear Mom, there’s just something about that kid that. . .ugh, I don’t know. And I hate it because he’s Luke’s nephew and Rory likes him but. . .

EMILY

You are her mother Lorelai. You must set boundaries and restrictions, it’s your job.

LORELAI

I wanted to like him but I just couldn’t, and Rory can’t see it.

EMILY

Well, she’s young.

LORELAI

And she won’t take my word for it.

EMILY

Well, she’s young.

LORELAI

I don’t know what to do. Maybe I’m overreacting.

EMILY

Lorelai, listen to me. Now I don’t say this to you very often, but on this matter I happen to agree with you one hundred percent.

LORELAI

Gee, thanks Mom.

EMILY

I know Rory’s a good girl, but good girls can go bad with the wrong influences. We all know that.

LORELAI

Oh no no, I don’t think Rory’s actually gonna go bad.

EMILY

Don’t back down Lorelai. You took a stand and you are completely in the right here. You absolutely must keep her from that boy. If you need to change her curfew, lock her up, throw away the key, whatever it takes to make sure she doesn’t go astray - you do it. Her judgment cannot be trusted here. She’s a young girl and knows nothing. You are her eyes and her ears and her brain for as long as it takes to make sure she doesn’t make any ridiculous choices in her life.

LORELAI

Yeah. Would you excuse me for a sec?

LORELAI

Hey, can I come in?

RORY

It’s not my house, I can’t stop you.

LORELAI

Just listen to me for one second okay? No sighing, just let me talk.

RORY

Go ahead.

LORELAI

I don’t wanna lock you up and throw away the key.

RORY

Well good.

LORELAI

Your judgment means something, especially to me. I can’t be your eyes and your ears and your brain.

RORY

I’m trying really hard to connect the dots here.

LORELAI

I got spooked. I know it violates the fabulous cool mom clause we’re supposed to have going but I did and I’m sorry.

RORY

It’s okay.

LORELAI

Now, I am concerned about Jess.

RORY

Well, you shouldn’t be.

LORELAI

But I am. However, you are a smart girl, you’re a good judge of character, and the fact that he seems to like you gives him a couple of brownie points. You’re not a little kid. I don’t actually think you ever were a little kid.

RORY

I was, for about a month.

LORELAI

If you think he’s a decent guy, I have to respect your judgment.

RORY

Thank you.

LORELAI

But I’m asking you to be careful.

RORY

I will.

LORELAI

Really careful.

RORY

I will.

LORELAI

‘Boy in the plastic bubble’ kind of careful.

RORY

I promise.

LORELAI

And you have to cut Dean some slack. He’s so crazy about you. He didn’t mean anything by coming to me. He just wigged.

RORY

I know.

LORELAI

So, fight over?

RORY

Fight over.

LORELAI

Good.

RORY

You still don’t look okay.

LORELAI

Oh, well, my mother agreed with me tonight.

RORY

I’m so sorry.

LORELAI

Thank you, I appreciate that.

LORELAI

I need a shower.

RORY

Don’t be so dramatic.

LORELAI

‘I agree with you a hundred percent.’ Ugh!

RORY

Go upstairs.

LORELAI

Find a movie, I’ll be down in a minute.

RORY

Okay.

LORELAI

‘I agree with you a hundred percent.’ I may have to shave my head also.

RORY

Bye.

JESS

Hello?

RORY

Hi.

JESS

Hi.

RORY

What are you doing?

JESS

Nothing, you?

RORY

Nothing.

JESS

Why’d you call?

RORY

I . . um, I wanted to. . .

JESS

I’m glad you called.

RORY

Yeah?

JESS

Yeah.

RORY

Why?

JESS

Because maybe you can explain what the hell this crazy woman is talking about.

RORY

Ah, The Fountainhead.

JESS

Yes. Your fault, and you will pay.

RORY

I promise. Commit to it one more time and if it still is awful for you, I will make it up to you.

JESS

Oh yeah?

RORY

Yeah.

JESS

Okay. I’m gonna hold you to that.