T2E9: “Run Away, Little Boy”

LORELAI

I'm back!

RORY

Kitchen!

LORELAI

Mmkay, I couldn't make up my mind so I got 'The Shining' and 'Bringing Up Baby.' Now, I know you're thinking, one's a movie about a homicidal parent and the other one's... hello.

SOOKIE

Hi.

RORY

Hi Mom.

LORELAI

What'd you break?

SOOKIE

Nothing. Well, the broiler. But this came for you and Max.

RORY

We're thinking it's a wedding present.

LORELAI

Huh. Mmm. Lorelai Gilmore and Max Medina. Well, I guess news doesn't always travel fast.

SOOKIE

You gonna open it?

LORELAI

No.

SOOKIE

But aren't you curious?

LORELAI

No. Just leave it there. I'll take it back tomorrow.

RORY

But there's not a return address.

LORELAI

Well isn't there a card?

RORY

Nope. Maybe there's one inside.

SOOKIE

With the return address on it.

RORY

But that means you'd have to open it to find out.

LORELAI

Fine, give me a knife.

SOOKIE

Ooh! This is so exciting! Maybe not.

RORY

An ice cream maker!

SOOKIE

A Musso Lussino 480!

LORELAI

Somebody sent me a fascist ice cream maker?

SOOKIE

Italian design, stainless steel body, chrome finish.

LORELAI

And no card. Perfect.

SOOKIE

Jackson just got in his apple crop! We can make cider ice cream!

LORELAI

Yes we can, using his ice cream maker, but Il Duce here is going back.

RORY

To where? Maybe it's an orphan.

SOOKIE

That's right. We'd be giving it a home.

LORELAI

Okay, once again, I bring up the fact that this is a wedding present, and as I am not getting married, neither God's law nor Emily Post allows me to keep this.

RORY

But isn't there a rule about late presents?

SOOKIE

Like if it arrives after a certain date, the giver forfeits all rights of return.

RORY

Exactly.

LORELAI

Nice try.

SOOKIE

It's true. I saw it on Martha Stewart. She was doing one of those double programs, and the first half was on massaging your dog, and she had this chow and she was rubbing it...

LORELAI

Sookie.

SOOKIE

But the second half was about gifts, and she said that if it arrives after ten weeks...

RORY

Eight.

SOOKIE

...eight weeks, that you don't have to return it.

LORELAI

Okay, clearly this is shaping up to be one of those moments that St. Peter's gonna show on the big video screen when I die, and I for one do not wanna see the three of us staggering around with cider ice cream slathered all over our faces while my soul hangs in the balance, so until I can find out who sent this, no one goes near it. And we're watching 'The Shining.' [leaves kitchen]

SOOKIE

I bet Max would let us keep it.

TEACHER

Believe it or not, Shakespeare probably never intended his plays to be read by students sitting at decks more concerned with getting A's than with the fate of Macbeth. His plays were meant to be experienced, lived. So with that in mind, together with my third period Shakespeare, you'll be split up into five groups and each group will assume responsibility for one act of Romeo and Juliet, which will be performed a week from Sunday. You will nominate the director, you will cast the scene, rehearse the scene, and interpret the scene in your own individual manner. Last year, we did Richard the Third. One group did their scene as the Mafiosi. Another set theirs during the Roman Empire. And my favorite, the climactic last scene was set during the final days of the Sonny and Cher show. Just remember, whatever interpretation you choose should highlight the themes you see in the scene. And if the love of the Bard's language still doesn't inspire you, remember this will be fifty percent of your final grade.

MADELINE

Act five.

LOUISE

Act five.

PARIS

Act five?

RORY

Act five.

PARIS

Why don't they just sew our sides together and rename us Chang and Eng?

HENRY

Rory.

RORY

Henry, hi.

HENRY

Hey. Act three, sword fight. You?

RORY

Oh, Act five, death scene.

HENRY

Nice. So, uh, tonight, 8 o'clock?

RORY

I'll tell Lane.

PARIS

Rory, sorry to interrupt. Hi Henry. But see, we're all standing over there trying to map out a game plan and a rehearsal schedule, and I'm sure whatever the two of you are talking about over here is so much more fascinating and important and, well gosh, let's just say it, fun. But I'd really like to get an 'A' on this assignment, and in order to do that I'm afraid you're gonna have to discuss your sock hops and your clambakes some other time, okay? Thanks. [walks away]

HENRY

That was scary.

RORY

It's gonna be a lot scarier when she gets an megaphone in her hands.

PARIS

So, I say we meet in the cafeteria. The acoustics are very similar to the Grand Hall, and. . . oh, well look who showed up.

RORY

Sorry.

PARIS

Save it.

LOUISE

Well, well, well. Look who's back from suspension.

RORY

Tristin got suspended again?

PARIS

Oh, like you hadn't noticed he'd been gone?

RORY

What did he do?

MADELINE

Took apart Mr. McCaffey's car and put it back together in the science building hallway.

RORY

You're kidding.

LOUISE

Yeah, well he didn't do it by himself. Duncan and Bowman were there too.

MADELINE

Plus the mechanics that they paid to do the actual work.

PARIS

Hey, anyone stupid enough to hand out with Butch Cassidy and the Sun-dunce kid deserves whatever they get.

RORY

How did he fall in with those guys?

MADELINE

The new year started and there they were, all three of them, side by side.

LOUISE

And practically dressing the same.

MADELINE

It's very On the Town.

LORELAI

Aunt Bobby, hi. It's Lorelai, Richard and Emily's girl. Um, I'm the one with. . . yeah, that's right. Wow, you don't hear the word wedlock much anymore.

RORY

I'm home!

LORELAI

Uh huh, uh huh, really? The Bible said all that, huh? Did it, did it mention me by name? I'm just. . .okay, I'm just kidding. So, um, judging by your Billy Graham impression, I am guessing that you didn't send me an ice cream maker, so maybe you could just give me Aunt Clarissa's phone number? Oh no, I hadn't heard. That's terrible. Uh huh. Well, then I guess she had it coming, didn't she? Hey, listen, I'd love to chat about who else is the family is currently or soon to be headed for hell, but I've gotta run, so I promise to call in the next twenty years, okay? Bye bye. [hangs up] How scary is it that my parents are turning our to be the normal ones in the family?

RORY

No luck?

LORELAI

Well, I still have the, uh, Pennsylvania Gilmores, but how was your day?

RORY

I have to perform Act Five of Romeo and Juliet with Paris, Madeline, and Louise.

LORELAI

Really?

RORY

Paris has appointed herself as director.

LORELAI

Nice. What part are you playing?

RORY

I don't know yet. She's still mulling over the screen tests right now. We're gonna find out tomorrow.

LORELAI

Screen tests?

RORY

24 takes.

LORELAI

Ah, I so want a copy.

RORY

Forget it.

LORELAI

Sell it on the Internet, make a fortune. First we brought you Pamela and Tommy Lee, now prepare yourselves for the crazy antics of Rory and the Bard!

RORY

Oh, and I told Paris that you would make all of our costumes so she wants to have a concept meeting with you tomorrow at three.

LORELAI

What?

RORY

Yeah, she needs a resume and samples of your previous work and, uh, referrals.

LORELAI

And my bare butt to kiss.

RORY

If you think that will set you apart from the other applicants, yes. Hey, I didn't know that there was someone in our family named Bunny.

LORELAI

Oh, cross her off the list.

RORY

Poor Bunny. [phone rings] Hello?

HENRY

Hey.

RORY

Henry, hi.

HENRY

Am I late?

RORY

No, right on time. Hold on.

LORELAI

Hey hon, I'm heading for class. There's pizza-slash-Luke's money on the table for dinner.

RORY

Thank you.

MRS. KIM

Kim's Antiques.

RORY

Hello Mrs. Kim, this is Rory. May I please speak with Lane?

MRS. KIM

Lane is studying.

LANE

Wait, Mama. Mama, is that for me?

MRS. KIM

Why?

LANE

Well, I was just expecting a call from Rory and I thought. . .

MRS. KIM

You do your math?

LANE

Yes.

MRS. KIM

History?

LANE

Yes.

MRS. KIM

Biology?

LANE

No.

MRS. KIM

Why?

LANE

Well, I'm not taking biology.

MRS. KIM

Why?

LANE

I took it last year.

MRS. KIM

And that's it? One year and you know all there is to know.

LANE

Well, I. . .

MRS. KIM

Tomorrow we look into private school.

LANE

Mama, please, the phone.

MRS. KIM

Five minutes. I'm counting.

LANE

Hello?

RORY

Lane. Hold on. Henry?

HENRY

Here.

RORY

Lane?

LANE

Here.

RORY

Okay guys, talk to you later. [hangs up]

LANE

So, Rory, how are you?

HENRY

I'm good, how are you doing?

LORELAI

Okay, I'm gone. Hey, um, do me a favor, make some of those calls for me.

RORY

Don't you think you may be going a little far with this?

LORELAI

What do you mean?

RORY

I mean, I understand that you wanna return the ice cream maker, but you did make an honest effort to get in touch with the person that sent this to you, and. . .

LORELAI

It's called closure, hon. I need it, okay?

RORY

Okay. Uncle Randolph. Oh, sorry guys. They'll be off in a sec.

LORELAI

Okay, don't wait too long. I think Randolph was Bunny's older brother.

RORY

Got it.

PAUL

One again, ladies and gentlemen, she takes the last burrito.

LORELAI

And hello to you too.

PAUL

Week after week, how do you do it?

LORELAI

I told you, correct change. You go in for that dollar bill nonsense, you'll be standing there for ten minutes watching it. Ehhh. Eh eh eh.

PAUL

And here I thought you had a special relationship with this vending machine.

LORELAI

Only in the sense that it keeps me alive.

PAUL

I actually have theory on that.

LORELAI

Uh oh.

PAUL

You know, ever since we were children, we got our nourishment from our mothers.

LORELAI

Okay, are you trying to gross me out so I can't eat my burrito?

PAUL

And now, we're getting it from machines.

LORELAI

Your point being?

PAUL

I think it's a conspiracy getting us ready for the day we're all gonna be raised by machines. No human contact whatsoever.

LORELAI

You know my mother, don't you?

PAUL

The, uh, Twilight Zone marathon was on all week.

LORELAI

So all of this is a way of saying you wanna look at my notes on the reading.

PAUL

Such perception.

LORELAI

And in one so young and beautiful. Frightening, isn't it?

PAUL

You know, I feel bad about doing this every week.

LORELAI

Really? I would've thought you would've gotten used to it by now.

PAUL

Come on Lorelai. I gotta pay you back somehow. How about you let me take you out to dinner one night?

LORELAI

Dinner?

PAUL

Yeah, maybe even somewhere that doesn't require correct change, unless you're firmly into the whole coin thing, then I know a good automat.

LORELAI

Oh, I don't know.

PAUL

Well, I was kidding about the whole automat.

LORELAI

No, an automat's fine. Um, it's just, uh, my schedule's kinda crazy for the next couple weeks.

PAUL

Okay. Well, it's just a thought. But if you suddenly get an opening, give me a call. [hands her a business card]

LORELAI

Oh, great, sure, thanks. Enjoy the notes.

PAUL

Thank you. Enjoy the burrito.

RORY

Hey.

MADELINE

Hey.

LOUISE

We're the Monkees.

RORY

Where's Paris?

MADELINE

She'll be here in a minute. She said she had to get some things.

RORY

[to boy] Hi, I'm Rory.

BRAD

I'm Brad. From the third period Shakespeare.

LOUISE

He's the answer to our lack of boys problem. Isn't that swell?

RORY

Well, maybe we should start.

MADELINE

Without Paris?

LOUISE

Ooh, that could be lethal.

RORY

We could at least decide on what motif we want to do.

PARIS

We're doing traditional Elizabethan.

RORY

Elizabethan? But I thought the point of this was to . . .

PARIS

The point is to get an A, not to make Romeo and Juliet into a Vegas lounge act. Besides, we have the death scene. It's classic, it's famous. Who are you?

BRAD

I'm, uh, Brad. From the third period Shakespeare, ma'am.

PARIS

Okay. Now I want everyone to read the chapters on acting I photocopied out of Houseman's Memoirs tonight. Everyone will be off book by Friday, and if you plan on missing rehearsal, you better bring a coroner's note.

RORY

Tell me you didn't just have that lying around.

PARIS

We're short on boys. That makes you Romeo. Louise, you can play the Friar.

LOUISE

Excuse me?

TRISTIN

Well, well, the gang's all here.

PARIS

This is a meeting.

TRISTIN

Yeah, sorry I'm late.

PARIS

What do you think you're doing?

TRISTIN

Uh, Professor Anderson forgot to include me when she made up the groups, so she told me to pick one.

PARIS

Fine, you have four other acts to choose from. Take your pick.

TRISTIN

Yeah, well Summer's in act 1, Beth and Jessica are in act 2, Kate's in act 3, and uh, Claire, Kathy, and Mary are in act 4. So this is the only one free of ex-girlfriends.

PARIS

So we're being punished for our good taste?

TRISTIN

Oh, Paris, you hurt me. Do you no longer have any need for me at all?

LOUISE

Yes, we have great need. You can be our Romeo.

RORY

Brad is Romeo!

LOUISE

Put in your other contact Grandma. Tristin is Romeo. Brad can be the second guard on the left.

PARIS

No.

MADELINE

She's kinda right, Paris. Tristin was born to be Romeo.

PARIS

Hey, I'm the director and I'll decide who's born to be what, and Brad is Romeo.

LOUISE

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

PARIS

What'd you say?

LOUISE

Just perhaps that someone is letting her personal feeling interfere with her leadership.

PARIS

My only feeling is that I don't wanna give the most important part to someone who can't even manage to stay in school.

LOUISE

I'm just gonna say one thing: fifty percent of our final grade.

TRISTIN

Is there gonna be any scratching involved, or is this just a verbal thing?

PARIS

What do you think about this?

RORY

Well, how are you at speaking in front of a lot of people?

BRAD

I tend to throw up.

PARIS

Fine, but I swear, you flake on this and you'll pray you get suspended.

TRISTIN

I gotta run. Are we done here?

PARIS

Rehearsal, tomorrow night.

LOUISE

Good. So now Brad can be Friar Tuck and I can be Juliet.

PARIS

Wrong.

LOUISE

Hey.

PARIS

Juliet's supposed to be chaste.

LOUISE

Oh.

MADELINE

Then . . .

PARIS

And she has more than three lines.

MADELINE

Oh.

RORY

Oh no.

PARIS

Too late.

RORY

It can't be too late, we haven't done anything yet.

PARIS

You're Juliet. You're the best public speaker here, you've definitely got that waif thing down, and you'll look great dead. Next order of business. I did some location scouting this morning, and I think the courtyard outside. . . .

SOOKIE

Okay, here we go. Low fat, whole wheat blueberry pancakes.

MICHEL

Are there twelve?

SOOKIE

Twelve what?

MICHEL

Blueberries. I can only have twelve blueberries for breakfast.

SOOKIE

Or what?

MICHEL

What do you mean, or what?

SOOKIE

What happens if you eat thirteen blueberries?

MICHEL

Well this is a silly conversation.

SOOKIE

Would you die?

MICHEL

Just hand me the plate.

SOOKIE

Only if you don't count.

MICHEL

I won't count.

SOOKIE

Swear. Raise your right hand and say, 'May Destiny's Child break up if I count these blueberries.'

MICHEL

Pick another group.

SOOKIE

Nope.

MICHEL

I hate you! Hate you!

LORELAI

Wow, I gotta start getting in earlier.

SOOKIE

Hey, I remember you.

LORELAI

I am donating it to the inn.

SOOKIE

Well, honey, that's very thoughtful.

LORELAI

Yes it is.

SOOKIE

But we have an ice cream maker, a professional one. See, that means we can make enough ice cream for everyone in the inn, whereas this little guy...

LORELAI

Fernando.

SOOKIE

Fernando, try as he might, can only make enough ice cream for, well, you, so . . .

LORELAI

So we don't need him here?

SOOKIE

No, we don't.

LORELAI

Well can't you find some use for him? I mean, he's new and shiny, and it's not his fault that he's part of the other life that I almost had but don't have now, and kinda don't wanna be reminded of.

SOOKIE

I guess I could put my change in him.

LORELAI

Thank you.

SOOKIE

Honey, can I say something?

LORELAI

Shoot.

SOOKIE

I'm a little concerned about you.

LORELAI

Why?

SOOKIE

You just seem very emotional about this ice cream maker.

LORELAI

I am not.

SOOKIE

You named the ice cream maker.

LORELAI

I name everything.

SOOKIE

You didn't name the toaster.

LORELAI

Poppy.

SOOKIE

You just made that up.

LORELAI

I did not. All right, but admit it, Poppy is a damn good name for a toaster.

SOOKIE

It's been quite awhile since you and Max have broken up...

LORELAI

I'm fine Sookie.

SOOKIE

Okay, you're fine. But are you moving on?

LORELAI

Yes, I'm moving on.

SOOKIE

Well, then how many dates have you had post-Max?

LORELAI

What does that have to do with anything?

SOOKIE

I just feel like you're hibernating.

LORELAI

I'm not hibernating.

SOOKIE

Yes you are.

LORELAI

Hey, hey, woo. Look at this skirt, huh? I'm not hibernating.

SOOKIE

Then how many dates have you been on?

LORELAI

I was engaged Sookie, you don't just get over that.

SOOKIE

But you went through your mourning period.

LORELAI

Yes.

SOOKIE

And you said it was over.

LORELAI

It was. . .is.

SOOKIE

Well, are you at least putting the vibe out there so they'll know you're available?

LORELAI

Okay, look, if it'll make you feel any better, okay, I just got asked out the other night.

SOOKIE

What? You're kidding! Who is he?

LORELAI

Some guy from my business class.

SOOKIE

Oh, business class.

LORELAI

He's a pretty cool guy, actually. He's cute, funny, and, um, he's a little younger, but, uh, he's very sharp. You know, we have this little bit going about me stealing his burrito.

SOOKIE

Oh, stealing his burrito. You kids!

LORELAI

No, like a real burrito.

SOOKIE

Oh, stolen his burrito.

LORELAI

Okay, forget the burrito Sookie.

SOOKIE

Fine. When you guys going out?

LORELAI

Well, I didn't exactly say yes.

SOOKIE

Why not? You've already got the skirt.

LORELAI

Because, I don't know, what if it doesn't work out? And then class will be weird, and it'll definitely screw up our burrito bit.

SOOKIE

Aw honey, come on, every guy doesn't have to be the guy.

LORELAI

I don't know. Isn't it too soon for the transition guy?

SOOKIE

Don't think of him as the transition guy. Think of him as the pre-transition guy.

LORELAI

A pre-transition guy? You're allowed that?

SOOKIE

Absolutely.

LORELAI

Wow, I gotta read the rulebook more carefully.

SOOKIE

So?

LORELAI

So. . . I will call him later tonight.

SOOKIE

Great! That's so great!

SOOKIE

It's all or nothing Sparky.

MICHEL

Damn you!

RORY

She's letting you go? That's amazing. What changed her mind?

LANE

I let her watch the Romeo and Juliet movie with Leo and Claire Danes.

RORY

Really? I would've thought she'd hated it.

LANE

Oh, she did. But trust my mom to turn one of the world's great love stories into a cautionary tale of what happens when children disobey their parents.

RORY

So I'm guessing that you're not any closer to telling your parents about Henry.

LANE

I mean, what are the options if I tell them? They hate him, and it's over. They love him, and he therefore becomes odious to me and it's over. Things are working out fine the way they are.

RORY

You mean calling him Rory on the phone in case your mom's listening?

LANE

I've grown fond of my cage Rory.

MRS. KIM

Lane!

LANE

Bye.

RORY

Bye. [hangs up]

LORELAI

What dost my lady think?

RORY

That you're going to be late for the joust?

LORELAI

I meant of thy lovely headdress crafted by thy mother's hand artful hand?

RORY

It pleaseth me mucheth, but uh, hath my beautius mother lookedeth at the time?

LORELAI

Oh crap!

RORY

Hello?

PARIS

Two other groups are rehearsing at school in the Grand Hall even though I specifically reserved it for us way in advance and confirmed the reservation twice, but whatever. They're going to be there and I don't want them spying on us.

RORY

I don't think the ending to Romeo and Juliet is exactly a secret.

PARIS

Hello, our interpretation?

RORY

Oh right.

PARIS

I went on the web and I found a site called MissPatty.net. It's in your town.

RORY

There's a MissPatty.net?

PARIS

Have you heard of it?

RORY

Well. . .

PARIS

Is it big enough? The site says it's 720 square feet.

RORY

You know, I'd rather just rehearse somewhere else.

PARIS

Look, I've got enough to worry about without you being embarrassed of where you live.

RORY

I'm not embarrassed. I just want to keep my school life separate from my home life, you know?

PARIS

Tough. Madeline and Louise are already on their way. See you in half an hour.

LORELAI

Have you seen my bag with the beads and the fur, kind of looks like Stalin's head? Aha.

RORY

We're rehearsing here now.

LORELAI

What?

RORY

Our Shakespeare group. Paris didn't want anyone spying on us so now we're rehearsing in Stars Hollow. This sucks.

LORELAI

Well, at least you don't have to drive to Hartford. What's with the face?

RORY

It's just, Tristin is in our group.

LORELAI

Oh yeah, you told me.

RORY

Right, so Tristin, he's in our group, so that means he's in...well, and Dean lives here, so this sucks.

LORELAI

Okay, you know what Vanna? I'm gonna need a few more vowels here.

RORY

I have to tell him.

LORELAI

Tell who?

RORY

Dean?

LORELAI

Tell Dean what?

RORY

That Tristin and I. . .that we kissed at that stupid party.

LORELAI

Oh.

RORY

I have no choice.

LORELAI

Well...

RORY

Because if Tristin sees Dean, he's gonna tell him. And then it's gonna be worse because it's gonna be like I was keeping it from him.

LORELAI

Okay, let's just calm down now.

RORY

Which I was. I was keeping it from him. I can't believe this, now I have to tell him.

LORELAI

You're right.

RORY

I am?

LORELAI

Mm hmm. I think you should tell him.

RORY

Of course, right, I have to.

LORELAI

Yeah. Then at the play, right as Tristin enters to find you dead and pulls out the vial of poison to kill himself, Dean can leap from the audience and rip his head off, adding a level of reality few productions have ever seen before. You'll get an A. The Actors Studio will go nuts. You'll have James Lipton asking you what your favorite swear word is. It's a great plan.

RORY

You - not helping.

LORELAI

To prevent a homicide? Yes I am.

RORY

I have to tell him. I don't have a choice.

LORELAI

Okay, fine. Try it out on me first.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

Pretend I'm Dean. If you're going to tell him this, you'd better have down what you're going to say.

RORY

Seriously?

LORELAI

Seriously.

RORY

Okay. Dean.

LORELAI

Rory. Sorry, serious now.

RORY

Okay, Dean, remember last year when we had broken up, and we weren't together anymore because we had broken up...

LORELAI

That's good, mention it three times. Keep going.

RORY

And uh, there was this party, and I went, and, um, Tristin was there. And somehow, I'm not really sure how, we ended up in a room together, and we kissed.

LORELAI

You and Tristin?

RORY

Uh huh.

LORELAI

On the hand?

RORY

No.

LORELAI

Cheek?

RORY

No.

LORELAI

He kissed you or you kissed him?

RORY

Kind of both.

LORELAI

So you kissed him?

RORY

Yes.

LORELAI

When?

RORY

I already told you three times, when we were broken up!

LORELAI

Okay, not a good idea to yell at him right now.

RORY

Sorry.

LORELAI

When during the breakup?

RORY

What do you mean?

LORELAI

I mean, how long after we broke up did you kiss Tristin?

RORY

Uhh, just... the night after we broke up.

LORELAI

You mean the night after I told you I loved you?

RORY

Yes.

LORELAI

The next night, after I told you I loved you, you kissed Tristin?

RORY

I'm a terrible person!

LORELAI

Hold on.

RORY

He's absolutely right. He told me he loved me and the next night I go and I kiss Tristin.

LORELAI

Hey, that was me, not Dean.

RORY

I hate myself.

LORELAI

You didn't do anything wrong. You were hurt and confused and broken up. You did nothing wrong.

RORY

Tell that to Dean.

LORELAI

No, because we're not telling Dean anything.

RORY

Mom.

LORELAI

Listen to me. I know you are Miss Honesty. I have seen the banner in the closet. But this is the kind of honesty that will only make you feel less guilty, and it's going to hurt Dean very much. It's possibly going to screw up the really good thing you guys have going now. Do you want that?

RORY

No, I don't.

LORELAI

All right then. Relax. Be calm. Everything will be fine.

RORY

Okay.

LORELAI

I gotta go. Can I ask you one more question? Do you think my hair looks cool?

RORY

Bye.

LORELAI

'Cause, you know, some days I wake up and I'm like, cool. Some days I'm like, could be cooler.

RORY

I won't wait up for you.

LORELAI

Like today I got up and I was like, left side cool, right side not so cool.

RORY

Bye.

LORELAI

Bye.

MISS PATTY

Just listen to your breathing and let the world melt away. And in, and out. And in, and out.

PARIS

Excuse me. We reserved this place for 8 sharp and right now my watch says 8:04.

MISS PATTY

Well, then tell it to go outside and have a smoke. You can't rush a cool down sweetheart.

PARIS

Look, I understand the whole Mystic Pizza, small town, 'we don't let a clock run our lives' thing, but I come from the big city where money talks and I'm paying good money for this place and I have a schedule to keep.

MISS PATTY

Be careful darling, or your face is gonna freeze like that.

RORY

Hey.

LOUISE

What's with the cast from Cocoon?

PARIS

Where's Tristin? He said he was coming with you.

MADELINE

Oh, he's here. He just went over to the market.

RORY

What?

LOUISE

He needed cigarettes, just in case we didn't already know that he was bad.

RORY

Umm, I'll be right back.

PARIS

Where are you going?

RORY

I'll just be a sec. [leaves]

PARIS

Okay, now they're just sleeping.

TRISTIN

Excuse me stockboy, could you tell me where I can find the shortneing? Now that is a fine looking apron. I mean it, I mean, really sensational.

DEAN

What are you doing here?

TRISTIN

Well, to be honest, there's something I wanted to ask you. [picks up two bags of flour] In your professional opinion, which one of these would make my cakes fluffier?

DEAN

You drove all the way out here just to be a jerk. There aren't enough people who can't stand you in Hartford.

TRISTIN

Oh, no. I'm here for Rory.

DEAN

What?

TRISTIN

Yeah, the play. Romeo and Juliet.

DEAN

What about it?

TRISTIN

I'm Romeo, and she's Juliet. Hey, come on, she must've told you. She did tell you, didn't she?

DEAN

Look, I think you better leave.

TRISTIN

Oops! God I am so sorry. I am such a klutz. Here, let me. This should cover it. [drops some money on the floor]

DEAN

You know what, I hope for Rory's sake that you got an understudy.

RORY

Dean, hi!

DEAN

Rory, what is he doing here?

RORY

I need to talk to you.

DEAN

I got something to settle with this guy.

RORY

Outside, please.

DEAN

All right, I'm outside.

RORY

I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about this before, but Tristin...

DEAN

Is playing Romeo to your Juliet. Yeah, I heard.

RORY

But he wasn't even in our group at first, but then no one else wanted him, and then Paris moved the rehearsal spot to here, and she did it today and I didn't have time to tell you.

DEAN

You and Tristin wind up thrown together a lot at that school.

RORY

It's just a project, that's all, nothing more.

DEAN

You and Tristin playing Romeo and Juliet. Perfect. Really, really amazing.

RORY

I know you hate it.

DEAN

Yeah, I hate it. I really hate it.

RORY

But we do the scene on Sunday, and then it's over. And it's back to, Tristin? Who? I don't ... I don't know Tristin.

DEAN

You must mean that young boy who got mysteriously strangled by a Doose's market apron one night.

RORY

I heard about that. Awful. They say drugs were involved. Please don't be mad. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.

DEAN

Sorry about what? You didn't. . .you didn't choose to do this with him, right?

RORY

No, I didn't.

DEAN

Then what do you have to be sorry for?

RORY

That. . .that I didn't tell you about the rehearsal. And that No Doubt is touring with U2. I know you're extremely disappointed in Bono.

DEAN

All right, so, so when's this thing over?

RORY

Sunday.

DEAN

Okay. I'm gonna walk around the block, just get him out of the market.

RORY

Right away.

LORELAI

Oh, thank goodness, you ordered. I am starving.

RORY

What are you doing here? I thought you went out to dinner.

LORELAI

Well, I did go out to dinner.

RORY

Then why are you eating mine?

LORELAI

Well, he took me to this darling little place called Minnie's. Very hip, very chic, very small portions.

RORY

So how'd it go?

LORELAI

Well...

RORY

Aww.

LORELAI

You know, we talked about all the things we had in common and then the salad came.

RORY

Not a soulmate?

LORELAI

He's never seen Ab Fab.

RORY

Definitely not a soulmate.

LORELAI

Plus, he's outdoorsy. Remember that Meryl Streep movie where she and her family take a rafting trip and then psycho Kevin Bacon forces them to take 'em down the river?

RORY

Yeah.

LORELAI

Okay, that's his dream vacation, minus Kevin Bacon.

RORY

Wow.

LORELAI

Whereas mine is Kevin Bacon, minus the river, so...

RORY

Hey, moving on.

LORELAI

Yeah. But I must say, I'm really glad I went tonight.

RORY

Yeah?

LORELAI

Yeah. I mean, it was fun to kinda get dressed up and have a freshly laundered man open the door for me. And the best part about it was, it was no big deal. I mean, we laughed a little, we hugged goodnight, I'll never date him again, but I do believe the burrito bit will live on. It was a totally casual date. I am now officially a casual dater.

RORY

That's great. And we can celebrate by getting you your own plate of fries.

LORELAI

Huh.

RORY

Hey Luke, can we get another round?

LUKE

Coming right up.

LORELAI

So tell me about the big rehearsal.

RORY

We got off to a shaky start, and Louise acts like she's the priest in a Madonna video, but by the end, we were not half bad.

LORELAI

Good good.

RORY

Tristin ran into Dean.

LORELAI

Ugh, bad bad.

RORY

It's okay though because I pulled them apart without any bloodshed and I explained it all to Dean.

LORELAI

You explained it all to Dean?

RORY

I told him that Tristin wasn't supposed to be in our group and Paris moved the rehearsal to Miss Patty's at the last minute and that's why he didn't know about it.

LORELAI

Oh, that version of all.

RORY

But Dean's fine now.

LORELAI

He's fine?

RORY

He's fine.

LUKE

You want a burger too?

LORELAI

Hmm, no, I'll just have half of hers.

RORY

One burger please.

LUKE

You look all dressed up.

LORELAI

Do I? Because I feel very casual.

DEAN

Hey.

RORY

Hi, you just got off work?

DEAN

Yup.

LORELAI

Hey Dean. Do you want some fries?

DEAN

No, I'm actually going home for dinner. My mom made fried chicken tonight and she saved me some.

LORELAI

Oh, you have a cooking mom.

RORY

That's so nice.

LORELAI

Well, she may make chicken, but is she a casual dater?

RORY

I hope not. She's married.

DEAN

Do I wanna know what either one of you is talking about?

LUKE

Nope.

RORY

My mother casually dated tonight.

DEAN

Oh, well, congratulations.

LORELAI

Thank you. Thank you very much.

DEAN

So, I was wondering what time your rehearsal was tomorrow?

RORY

Five, why?

DEAN

Well, uh, it's my night off and I thought maybe I'd come by and watch.

RORY

Watch what?

DEAN

Watch you.

RORY

Watch me do what?

DEAN

Rehearse.

RORY

Oh. Um, Dean, I think you'd be really bored watching rehearsal.

LORELAI

Oh yeah, I've dozed off twice just listening to her talk about rehearsal.

DEAN

Well, I won't be bored.

RORY

We don't even know our lines yet. You should just come on Sunday.

LORELAI

That's a good idea. After all, Sunday is the day of rest and that's what you'll be doing - resting, 'cause it's boring.

RORY

Mom.

LORELAI

Well, honey, it's not your fault. You didn't write the damn thing.

DEAN

Well, I'll come on Sunday too.

RORY

Okay. But if you're gonna go on Sunday, you don't want to spoil it for yourself.

DEAN

What? It's not like I don't know how it ends.

RORY

Okay, Dean, look...

DEAN

Rory, come on. I'll sit in the back, you'll die, and I'll walk you home. It's no big deal, right?

RORY

Right.

DEAN

Good, so I'll see you tomorrow.

RORY

Yup, you sure will.

DEAN

Bye Lorelai.

LORELAI

Bye Dean. [Dean leaves] Oh yeah, he's fine.

RORY

Excuse me Tristin, can I talk to you for a second?

TRISTIN

[to his friends] I'll meet you guys later, okay? [they walk away] I'm all yours.

RORY

I need to talk to you about something serious.

TRISTIN

Serious, huh? I'm intrigued.

RORY

Dean's coming to rehearsal tonight.

TRISTIN

Wow, are you sure they can spare him? I mean, what if there's a run on baked beans?

RORY

Can you just shut up for five seconds, please? Thank you. Look, as I said, Dean is coming to rehearsal tonight, and I'd like to ask you to promise that you won't say anything to him about what happened.

TRISTIN

What happened?

RORY

At the party?

TRISTIN

At the party?

RORY

Tristin! You and me, at Madeline's party? You had just been kicked to the curb by Summer, and I found you sulking on a piano bench, and I sat down, we talked, and then...we kissed.

TRISTIN

That was you?

RORY

You know what, forget it.

TRISTIN

Hey, Rory.

RORY

There is no point in talking to you. I knew that, yet I tried. Won't happen again.

TRISTIN

You don't want me to tell Dean that we kissed.

RORY

By George, I think he's got it.

TRISTIN

Okay, if that's what you want.

RORY

It is.

TRISTIN

Although, he's gonna find out anyway.

RORY

What?

TRISTIN

Well, come on, you know that when we kiss on stage, it's gonna be pretty obvious that it's not the first time. I'm a good actor, but I can't hide that kind of passion.

RORY

Look, things are really good for me and Dean right now, and I don't want anything to mess that up. Especially not something that meant nothing at all to me and I wished had never happened in the first place.

TRISTIN

So things are going good for you too, huh?

RORY

Yeah, they are.

TRISTIN

Good, that's good.

RORY

So what do you think? You just took those out.

TRISTIN

Well, I changed my mind.

RORY

Are you all right?

TRISTIN

Yeah, I think somehow I'll recover from the great romance between you and the Beave.

RORY

A lot of stuff's been going on with you lately, huh?

TRISTIN

Meaning?

RORY

Just, you know, the car thing, the suspension thing, a lot of drama.

TRISTIN

Well I get bored easily.

RORY

Just doesn't really seem like you.

TRISTIN

And you know me now?

RORY

I know you don't get suspended for stupid pranks.

TRISTIN

I pulled stuff like that before I knew Duncan and Bowman, all right?

RORY

Well, if you did, you didn't get caught. You're getting caught a lot.

TRISTIN

Your point being?

RORY

Maybe Duncan and Bowman aren't the best people to be hanging out with. They're not as smart as you Tristin, they don't have what you have going for you. They...

TRISTIN

You know, I'm gonna have to bail before we get to the whole hugging part. And ask your boyfriend to remind me when it's coupon day, okay?

LORELAI

Taking pity on your burger?

RORY

Not hungry.

LORELAI

Honey, you've got to eat. You're gonna kill yourself in a couple of hours, you really need your strength.

RORY

Ha ha.

LORELAI

Maybe Dean won't even come tonight.

RORY

Oh, he'll be there. There aren't enough monster truck rallies in the world to keep him away from Miss Patty's tonight.

LORELAI

All right, that's it. This afternoon we are going to engage in some intensive retail therapy to bring you out of this funk.

RORY

No thanks.

LORELAI

I mean it. Today is the day we finally spring for the Powerpuff girl shotglasses.

RORY

Hmm, I can't. I promised Lane I'd help her pick out an outfit for the play tomorrow.

PAUL

Lorelai?

LORELAI

Yeah?

PAUL

Hey, it is you. This is Lorelai, she's the girl I told you about.

LORELAI

Oh, Paul. I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you with the hat.

PAUL

Yeah.

LORELAI

What are you doing here?

PAUL

Well, um, getting some coffee.

LORELAI

In Stars Hollow?

PAUL

Well, you know, you talked so much about the town the other night and especially Luke's place, so my mom's crazy for coffee, I thought I'd bring 'em up here for breakfast.

RORY

[quietly] The other night?

LORELAI

[quietly] Uh, yes. Paul's my friend from the other night, the uh, casual Wednesday.

RORY

Oh.

LORELAI

Oh, Paul, I want you to meet my daughter Rory.

PAUL

Hi, nice to meet you. Hey, these are my parents, Dorie and Sid.

DORIE

Nice to meet you.

SID

Pleasure, really.

LORELAI

Oh yeah, me too.

LUKE

You ordering?

PAUL

Luke. Are you Luke? Is this Luke?

LORELAI

Yes, that's Luke.

PAUL

Oh man! Mom, Dad, that is Luke.

DORIE

We've heard so much about you.

SID

Darn shame about that Rachel.

LUKE

Who the hell are these people?

LORELAI

Uh, Paul is my friend from business school.

PAUL

Yeah, we went out the other night. And uh, you know, she talked about a few people in this town, and you being one of 'em, so nice to meet you.

LUKE

Yeah.

PAUL

Um, okay, three coffees to go then.

LORELAI

[to Rory] Something funny?

RORY

No.

LORELAI

You're just smiling for no reason?

RORY

I'm a happy person.

PAUL

Hey, I've gotta run. Mom wants to go antiquing, so it was nice meeting you, and uh, I'll see you in class Lorelai.

LORELAI

Bye. Bye now. Bye.

LORELAI

What?

RORY

Nothing.

LORELAI

Say it!

RORY

I've always wanted a little brother.

LORELAI

He looked older the other night!

RORY

How much older could he possibly look?

LORELAI

A lot! He's usually a little scruffy, and then the baseball cap hides the funky hair thing.

RORY

He should've been holding a yo-yo and a lollipop and wearing a beanie with a propeller on it.

LORELAI

He's in his twenties.

RORY

He must have been a very good boy to deserve such a happy day. I bet they let him ride a pony.

LORELAI

Aren't you supposed to go help Lane?

RORY

Thanks for cheering me up.

LORELAI

What? You wanna say something too?

LUKE

Nope.

LORELAI

Please don't hold back on my account.

LUKE

I wouldn't.

LORELAI

Good.

LUKE

[to kids at the counter] Would you guys mind moving down a couple stools? Make me more comfortable.

LORELAI

This is me leaving.

LUKE

Hey, how do I know what the cutoff is?

LORELAI

And no tip, I wonder why.

LUKE

I mean, at least if you had one of those height bars like at amusement park rides...

LORELAI

Bye now.

TRISTIN

Here's to my love. Oh true apothecary, thy drugs are quick. Line?

PARIS

Thus with a kiss, I die. How hard is that to remember?

TRISTIN

Thus with a kiss, I die. Right. And then I kiss he, right?

PARIS

Yes. You say 'Thus with a kiss, I die.' Then you kiss her and die. Why are you smiling? You think this is a joke? The performance is tomorrow.

TRISTIN

Wait, tomorrow? Oh my God. I totally missed it the first 47 times you said it.

PARIS

I warned you. I am not going to fail this because of you. I will replace you with Brad in a second.

BRAD

Oh, dear God, no.

RORY

Can we just get through the scene?

MADELINE

Please.

PARIS

Fine. But yell line once more and you're out. Start memorizing.

TRISTIN

Oh true apothecary, thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss, I die.

PARIS

What?

TRISTIN

Well, it's just, with this being our last kiss and all, it makes me think about our first kiss. You know, at the party.

RORY

What?

PARIS

Lie down, you're dead.

LOUISE

We all are.

TRISTIN

You remember the kiss. In Act 1 at the Capulet's masked party?

PARIS

What about it?

TRISTIN

Well, I was just trying to think of something that would make this kiss as special as that one.

RORY

Tristin.

TRISTIN

I thought she could cry.

RORY

What?

PARIS

She's dead. You're dead, lie down.

TRISTIN

Yeah, but that's the beauty of it. No one would expect her to cry.

DEAN

I would.

TRISTIN

You know, funny you should say that...

RORY

I need to take five.

PARIS

You know what? Let's all take five. That way you can all cancel whatever plans you had tonight because we are staying here until we get this right.

LOUISE

Who could you possibly be calling?

DEAN

He is unbelievable.

RORY

Dean, I really need you to leave.

DEAN

What?

RORY

The play is tomorrow, and it's fifty percent of my grade, and you standing there staring at Tristin, it's like a challenge or something.

DEAN

Well, I don't like the way he's messing with you.

RORY

I don't like it either but we have to get through this scene and we can't get through the scene with you standing there. So, Dean, please.

DEAN

Fine. Call me later. [leaves]

TRISTIN

Now I noticed you didn't cry when you kissed him. I'm starting to feel a little insecure.

RORY

What is wrong with you?

TRISTIN

Whoa, I think I liked you better comatose.

RORY

I thought you weren't going to say anything.

TRISTIN

Did I say that?

RORY

You make it impossible for anyone to be nice to you. No wonder you had to join our group. Anyone who's actually suffered through the experience of going out with you would absolutely know better.

TRISTIN

Gee, I really wish we could continue your analysis on how pathetic I am. Unfortunately, I have to meet some friends.

PARIS

Where are you going? Where is he going? We're not finished! Hey, I'm the director here! Tristin!

BRAD

Tristin, come back!

SOOKIE

Ooh! I'm so excited! Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, it's so romantic. Oh Romeo, blah bah blah and the blah. That's all the Shakespeare I know.

LORELAI

Hey Luke, you should come with us to Chilton and watch Rory perform.

LUKE

Can't.

LORELAI

Come on. How often do you get to see teenagers speak iambic pentameter and kill themselves?

LUKE

No thanks. But you have a good time. Bring plenty of baseball cards to pass out your phone number on.

LORELAI

Ugh, enough already! The horse is dead. His ashes have been sprinkled over the land. Let it rest.

MISS PATTY

Lorelai, there you are you naughty, naughty girl.

LORELAI

Okay, he was not that much younger than I am. I met him a business school, not his Bar Mitzvah. Business school has to indicate some kind of maturity, right?

LUKE

Doogie Howser was a doctor at sixteen.

LORELAI

Doogie Howser was not real.

LUKE

How sad for you. [walks away]

LORELAI

Luke. This is incredible. I go on one stupid date, and suddenly I'm the female Jerry Lee Lewis.

SOOKIE

Oh forget it honey. The town likes to tease. Plus, he did look really young.

LORELAI

You didn't even see him.

SOOKIE

Kirk snapped pictures.

LORELAI

Hey, you. What is up with you?

LUKE

Nothing's up with me.

LORELAI

Well we were having a perfectly nasty verbal sparring match and you suddenly walk away.

BOOTSY

Lorelai, I hear you're dating a kid.

LORELAI

Please let something big fall on my head.

BOOTSY

When I was 18, I was dating an older lady. Broke my heart.

LORELAI

Well, Bootsy, I'm sorry you got dumped, but I'm not dating a kid.

BOOTSY

I didn't get dumped, she died. Heart attack. She was quite old.

LORELAI

Hey.

LUKE

I'm working. Us older guys do that.

LORELAI

Why are you being so mean to me?

LUKE

I'm not being mean.

LORELAI

Yes you are. You're being mean.

LUKE

Sookie, am I being mean?

SOOKIE

Well, I wouldn't pay you to put on a red nose and work a birthday party right now.

LUKE

Thank God for that.

LORELAI

Why are you so mad at me?

LUKE

I just think it's embarrassing.

LORELAI

What is so embarrassing?

LUKE

You running around with that kid.

LORELAI

I wasn't running, he's not a kid. We had dinner. You say Chuck E. Cheese, I'll break your nose.

LUKE

Hey, I'm not gonna say anything. You go live your life as you please. I got work to do.

BOY

Ooh, ooh. He jests at scars that never felt a wound. But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

SOOKIE

Are you sure this is Shakespeare?

DEAN

What's with all the grunting?

LORELAI

I wish Luke was here, he could translate for us.

RORY

Hey.

DEAN

Oh hey.

LORELAI

Hi.

SOOKIE

Oh honey, look at you! You look like a princess! Doesn't she look like a princess?

DEAN

Yeah, she looks beautiful.

RORY

Mom made the dress.

LORELAI

Not to mention the girl inside it.

RORY

Hello, gross.

LORELAI

I'm just saying.

RORY

I'm getting kind of nervous.

LANE

Oh, you're gonna be great.

RORY

I think act three is starting up.

LANE

Henry's act. Um, how do I look?

RORY

You might want to hold a phone up to your face so he'll recognize you.

LANE

Okay. [walks away]

PARIS

I need you. [drags Rory away]

PARIS

He's not here.

RORY

Who's not here?

PARIS

Tristin. I've looked everywhere. I called his home, his cell, I called three girls I know he's seeing.

RORY

Paris, calm down.

PARIS

Weren't you listening? He's not here. We're on in twenty minutes and we don't have a Romeo. We are going to fail.

RORY

We're not going to fail.

PARIS

Do you think Harvard accepts people who fail Shakespeare? They don't. I don't have the numbers on it or anything, but I feel pretty secure in saying, you fail Shakespeare, you don't get into Harvard.

RORY

Okay, maybe he's just in one of the bathrooms smoking.

PARIS

Good idea. You check the east men's rooms, I'll check the west ones.

HENRY

I am hurt. A plague on both your houses! Oh, I am sped. What, is he gone and hath nothing?

PARIS

I knew he was going to do this, but no one wanted to listen to me. It was all, let's make Tristin Romeo, he's hot.

RORY

What about Brad?

PARIS

Brad transferred schools. [Tristin walks up to them] Where have you been? You have to get dressed, we're on in ten minutes.

TRISTIN

Can't.

PARIS

What?

TRISTIN

Actually, my dad had me pulled out of school. He... [Paris walks away] ... and is she unhappy.

RORY

What do you mean he had you pulled out of school? What happened?

TRISTIN

Nothing. Just ticked the old man off, that's all.

RORY

By doing what? Tristin, come on, tell me.

TRISTIN

I got in some trouble.

RORY

Trouble involving?

TRISTIN

Involving Duncan and Bowman, and Bowman's dad's safe.

RORY

Oh no.

TRISTIN

I mean, Bowman had a key. It was supposed to be no big deal. And the crazy silent alarm kicked in.

RORY

You broke into Bowman's dad's safe?

TRISTIN

Yes.

RORY

Stupid.

TRISTIN

Yes.

RORY

Well, okay, you can apologize and you can put back the money and you can explain that, I don't know, you were going through something.

TRISTIN

I was, I was going through his safe.

RORY

Why would you do this?

TRISTIN

I don't know. I guess that's something I can ponder at military school.

RORY

Military school?

TRISTIN

The police are letting our parents handle it, and in my case that means military school in North Carolina.

RORY

I don't know what to say.

TRISTIN

Well, I imagine you're overwhelmed with the relief in knowing that soon I will be gone.

RORY

I'm so sorry.

TRISTIN

Well, I'm a big boy. I can handle it.

RORY

There's nothing you can...

TRISTIN

I gotta go. So, I might kiss you goodbye but, uh, your boyfriend's watching. Take care of yourself, Mary.

PARIS

What are you standing there for? Let's go. You better start sucking on an Altoid.

PARIS

A dateless bargain to engrossing death! Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavory guide! Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on the dashing rocks thy seasick weary bark! Here's to my love! Oh true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.

SOOKIE

Wasn't that great? I mean, just watching it made me feel smarter. Don't you feel smarter?

LORELAI

Well, just the opposite actually.

SOOKIE

We should do something else good for us. Go to a museum or play chess.

LORELAI

I promised Rory we'd go to Luke's afterwards.

SOOKIE

Oh, even better.

LORELAI

Although, I gotta tell ya, I am still pretty peeved by how he acted earlier. I swear, that guy runs so hot and cold on me.

SOOKIE

What?

LORELAI

Well, one minute he's all sweet and building me a chuppah, and the next he's being a total jerk for God knows what reason.

SOOKIE

For God knows what reason? Come on Lorelai.

LORELAI

What?

SOOKIE

Don't you understand that Luke is so into you?

LORELAI

Okay, stop.

SOOKIE

He has had to watch you go from one guy to another, and then the engagement, and then the engagement was off, and patiently he's waited. And now in walks this kid and he says, 'My God, will she date anyone else in the world before she'll date me?'

LORELAI

Sookie, that...

SOOKIE

Hey, maybe it's crazy, maybe it's irrational, but it's there. Just look the guy in the eye, it's right there.

DEAN

So, did you and Paris actually kiss or was that like a stage thing?

RORY

A lady never kisses and tells.

LORELAI

Hey, you guys get a table. I'll be right there.

LORELAI

Hey.

LUKE

How'd it go?

LORELAI

Oh, you know, I think Shakespeare will recover.

LUKE

That's good.

LORELAI

Hey, are you good at dating?

LUKE

What?

LORELAI

Dating, do you have that down?

LUKE

Okay, if this is about that kid, then...

LORELAI

No, it's not about anything, it's just a question.

LUKE

Well, I don't know if I have it down. Considering I live with my nephew, I'd say probably not.

LORELAI

I don't have it down either. I've never been very good at it really. I've never even really liked it. Too much 'what if'. I like things I can count on. I mean, uh, actually, with Max, it was the first time I was finally like 'Hey, here it is, that one person who will always be there for me.' And then, I turned around, and it's suddenly 'Oops, wrong, keep moving.'

LUKE

Why are you telling me this?

LORELAI

I don't have very many people in my life who are in my life permanently forever. They will always be there for me. I will always be there for them, you know? There's Rory, and Sookie, and this town and ... you. I mean, at least I think I've got...

LUKE

You do.

LORELAI

Good. Just checking

LUKE

Tell me about Romeo and Juliet.

LORELAI

Well, it's so depressing because everybody dies, but the clothes were so cute.

LUKE

Life can be funny that way.

LORELAI

And Rory... [scene fades out]