T3E14: “Swan Song”

EMILY

And then she just brushed me off with a wave of her regal hand. Not even a word, just a... like I'm her cabana boy. Next thing you know, instead of just walking out of the room, she'll make me bow and back out. Imperious attitude, she never gives it a rest. I schlepped her to the doctor the other day – by command, not request – and the elevator operator there greeted us nice and friendly. Her doctor's on the second floor and by the time we got there, that operator was in tears.

LORELAI

Whew.

EMILY

What?

LORELAI

Well, Mom, you just did twenty straight minutes on Gran.

EMILY

It wasn't twenty minutes.

RORY

It was getting there.

LORELAI

How about a moratorium on the Gran stories for a bit?

EMILY

Fine. I'd rather not spoil the meal with talk of her.

LORELAI

Good.

EMILY

I should just wash my hands.

LORELAI

Okay.

RORY

We'll wait.

EMILY

I mean of her.

LORELAI

Oh, good, wash those hands.

EMILY

She sucks her olive pits.

LORELAI

Short moratorium.

EMILY

Trying to extract every last ounce of flavor out of them like she does people.

LORELAI

She sucks flavor out of people?

RORY

Can we change the subject?

EMILY

Life, not flavor.

LORELAI

Hey, you know what Gran needs?

EMILY

What?

LORELAI

A fella.

RORY

With or without an umbrella.

EMILY

He'd have to look like an olive pit to get her attention.

LORELAI

It's like a Dean Martin Roast.

RORY

Those are never funny to me.

LORELAI

Yeah, they're mean.

RORY

Except for Don Rickles.

LORELAI

Totally except for Rickles.

EMILY

I think she did have a man for a time squiring her around to her biddy affairs. Richard thought so, too, and it horrified him.

LORELAI

Didn't want a new Daddy, huh?

EMILY

And then he seemed suddenly out of the picture.

RORY

So Great Grandma never talked about him?

EMILY

Never. Even though I could tell practically the day she stopped seeing him. Those kinds of things are always obvious.

RORY

Yeah, I guess.

EMILY

When a couple is in a relationship and then suddenly isn't.

RORY

Right.

LORELAI

Right.

RORY

Is she still looking?

LORELAI

Yup.

RORY

Right. Um, you know, Grandma, did I mention that unfortunately I'm not with Dean anymore?

EMILY

No, you didn't.

RORY

Well, I'm not.

EMILY

Well, yes, I've known for weeks actually. But it's good that you confirmed it.

RORY

How did you know?

EMILY

Well, you very abruptly stopped mentioning him eleven dinners ago, so I figured that was the case.

LORELAI

Eleven dinners, you kept count?

EMILY

Eleven.

LORELAI

Eleven.

RORY

Well, I'm sorry I didn't tell you Grandma.

EMILY

Well, I think you should have. I mean, what if I had invited Dean to an event and you were no longer with him, and that's how I found out? It would've been embarrassing.

LORELAI

What sort of event would you have invited Dean to?

EMILY

I don't know, a wedding.

LORELAI

For who?

EMILY

A mutual friend or something.

LORELAI

You and Dean have mutual friends in common that Rory and I don't? Who would that be, the Talbotts or that senior partner at Deloite and Touche?

EMILY

You know what I meant. It's always best to tell each other major life events so that there's no awkwardness.

RORY

Well, then, Grandma, I probably also failed to mention that I'm seeing someone else.

EMILY

Who?

RORY

Jess.

EMILY

Jess?

LORELAI

Luke's nephew. Luke from the diner.

EMILY

Oh, I see. Well, am I going to get to meet him soon?

RORY

Oh, I don't know.

LORELAI

Yeah, Mom, that might be hard to arrange.

EMILY

Well, how hard can it be? Just bring him over for dinner sometime. How about next Friday?

RORY

Oh, I don't know.

LORELAI

Uh, yeah, Mom, that might be hard to arrange.

EMILY

It's perfect timing. Richard will still be out of town and it would be nice to round off the group with a fourth.

LORELAI

He works Fridays, doesn't he?

RORY

Yeah, that's his usual night. Friday night. It's a bad night.

EMILY

Oh, okay. Well, I suppose I'll eventually meet him someday at some function.

LORELAI

Perhaps a wedding.

EMILY

Or Rory's graduation. That's good. That way we'll all get to meet him at once. Myself, Richard, Gran. Maybe I'll bring a couple of girls from the DAR. Reverend Mahoney might like to come also.

RORY

You know what, Grandma, now that I think about it, I think Jess does have next Friday night off.

EMILY

Really?

RORY

Let's make it a foursome.

EMILY

That'll be nice.

RORY

Yeah, it will be nice, right Grandma?

EMILY

Very nice. We'll have lamb.

RORY

So, it will be nice for everybody? Everybody will be nice to everybody? The key word being nice.

EMILY

Yes, very nice.

RORY

Really, really nice?

EMILY

Of course it'll be nice. That's what I just said.

RORY

Good. Nice would be nice.

EMILY

And a nice night it'll be.

LORELAI

Well, not so nice for the lamb.

LORELAI

Okay, Saturday morning I've got hair appointment, nails, and Jim.

RORY

You don't go to the gym.

LORELAI

No, Jim is coming here to fix the garbage disposal.

RORY

Jim Dunning, got it.

LORELAI

I also have resha plebisham.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

I don't know, I can't read it.

RORY

Shouldn't you change your system, go electronic or something? You're a busy woman.

LORELAI

Uh, hey, my system works.

RORY

Yeah, tell that to the guy who calls tomorrow because you missed your resha plebisham appointment.

LORELAI

I hate that we have to coordinate schedules. You're my daughter.

RORY

But if we don't, we may never see each other.

LORELAI

We didn't use to have to do this.

RORY

Well, we're busier now.

LORELAI

Let's just run away together and leave all this behind.

RORY

You mean our house?

LORELAI

No, we'll take the house, we'll leave everything else.

RORY

Put it on your list.

LORELAI

So what's your day like tomorrow?

RORY

Hanging out with Jess for most of the day, studying at night.

LORELAI

Cool. Alex and I are having dinner tomorrow night.

RORY

Good. That'll make it nice and quiet for when I study.

LORELAI

I'm that loud?

RORY

You are when you dance around singing 'Rory's Studying' songs.

LORELAI

Oh, what's this I have down for Sunday – slatha bang trafficking?

RORY

Lane's band practicing.

LORELAI

And underneath it – net fracks?

RORY

Get snacks.

LORELAI

Right – for the band. See, see, it works. So, uh, you're actually bringing Jess to dinner on Friday?

RORY

It's as good a time as any. There'll only be one grandparent to contend with.

LORELAI

Man, that was some stealthy little maneuver she pulled there, huh? Applying the guilt over not knowing about the Dean breakup and making you all weak, and then using that to get Jess to come to dinner on Friday. She's like Lyndon Johnson with the Senate, effortless.

RORY

So, Sunday's for us, right?

LORELAI

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have you down right here – Cokie.

RORY

Good. Hey, it's still early. Do you wanna watch more of the extra supplementary stuff on the Lord of the Rings DVD?

LORELAI

Well, it's just the drawings and that fat guy talking.

RORY

Well, let's watch Footloose again.

LORELAI

Yeah.

RORY

Hey, you dropped some of your notes.

LORELAI

Oh, who cares? You can't read 'em anyway.

RORY

Do you love it?

JESS

It's great.

RORY

The Holy Barbarians. I mean, what a title. And it's by a Venice Beach beatnik about Venice Beach beatniks, and to top it off, the beatnik who wrote it is the father of the guy that does those Actor's Studio interviews on TV.

JESS

The guy with the beard?

RORY

Yeah, the pointy beard. That's his dad writing at his desk.

JESS

Oh, it's weird that a weird beatnik-y guy would have a conservative son like that.

RORY

Maybe he's not that conservative. Maybe at night, he, like, takes off his clothes and parties.

JESS

Aw, man, now get that picture out of my head.

RORY

It's a cool book, you've gotta admit.

JESS

It is. Thanks.

RORY

Oh, I'm not lending it. I'm not done.

JESS

Well, why'd you show it to me?

RORY

I like showing you the stuff I'm reading.

JESS

But you knew I'd wanna read it. You're a book tease.

RORY

You'll get it when I'm done.

JESS

Cruel woman.

RORY

So, are you going to work now?

JESS

Back to the salt mines.

RORY

So, you're not tied to the hours you have, right? You can trade if you want to.

JESS

There's some flexibility.

RORY

You got any flexibility next Friday night?

JESS

Yeah, why?

RORY

I thought maybe you could come to dinner with us.

JESS

Us?

RORY

To my Grandma's.

JESS

To meet your grandmother.

RORY

Yeah, she'll be there, so yeah, it might be rude not to introduce the two of you.

JESS

I can't, I gotta work.

RORY

You just said you could get out.

JESS

I didn't know what for.

RORY

Jess.

JESS

No.

RORY

But I already kind of agreed.

JESS

Aw, man.

RORY

So I'm kinda jammed here.

JESS

Does she know what I look like?

RORY

I don't think so.

JESS

Perfect. Find someone who vaguely resembles me. Take him. Just don't kiss him goodnight.

RORY

That's not going to work.

JESS

Andy Warhol did it all the time. [Rory gives him the book] We're just five bucks away from a deal.

RORY

[kisses him] That's worth five at least.

JESS

You Gilmores think a lot of yourselves. Okay.

RORY

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

JESS

Manipulator.

MISS PATTY

Rory, get in here.

RORY

What?

MISS PATTY

Get in here now. No questions.

RORY

Okay.

MISS PATTY

Okay, now, for those who just arrived, I'm trying out some material for my one-woman show and I need some feedback. You are my randomly picked audience.

DEAN

Randomly shang-hai'ed.

MISS PATTY

It's part stories, part songs. Kind of like what Elaine Stritch did on Broadway, but without the bitterness. My working title – "Buckle Up, I'm Patty."

RORY

How long have you been here?

DEAN

An hour.

RORY

Poor thing.

DEAN

It's been mostly her and Kirk arguing about stuff. Apparently, he's the director.

KIRK

Patty, let's try one of your reminisces.

MISS PATTY

That's what I'm looking for, Kirk.

DEAN

Sorry I didn't save you. I didn't see you until it was too late.

RORY

I don't think anybody could've saved me.

MISS PATTY

Okay, here we go. Hey, did you know that I once met the great Bette Davis? I was a chorus girl in a bus-and-truck tour of "Guys and Dolls." Beantown, I love that town. And there I was, me and the girls backstage after the show, and in she comes. And who does she walk right up to, but little old me. And she sized me up, exhaled some smoke from that regal mouth of hers, and said, "Doll, you don't got the high notes but you sure got the gams." I'll always treasure that moment with Bette and I wanna dedicate this song to her. Uh, Ethel, key a D.

KIRK

We're gonna have to rewrite that.

MISS PATTY

What?

KIRK

It got no response. It needs a rewrite.

MISS PATTY

Kirk, it's my reminiscence. I can't rewrite it.

KIRK

How about if she says, "Doll, you've got the gams, but I've got a body in the trunk of my car."

MISS PATTY

Why would she say that?

KIRK

Because she's a murderer. I think it works.

MISS PATTY

I'm not rewriting my memories, Kirk.

KIRK

It died. Build a coffin for it, put some pennies on its eyes 'cause that stiff ain't breathing.

MISS PATTY

Well, I think that we should discuss this later, now go back to your light booth.

KIRK

Fine, start the song.

MISS PATTY

[sings] It's a quarter of three, there is no one in the place, except you and me. [strobe light starts flashing] Kirk, would you fix this?

KIRK

Fix what?

MISS PATTY

This flashing.

KIRK

That's my choice for the song.

MISS PATTY

It's disco.

KIRK

I'm trying to subvert expectations.

MISS PATTY

Well, don't. Just give me a simple spot.

KIRK

Something more obvious, got it.

RORY

This is a hit.

DEAN

It'll run for years.

KIRK

Something on the nose and expected, got it.

MISS PATTY

Kirk!

RORY

It was nice of you to step in like that.

DEAN

Well, she could've hurt herself trying to throw the podium at him like that.

RORY

I think "work in progress" is the key phrase.

DEAN

I like that she tries.

RORY

The woman taught me everything I've already forgotten about dancing, baton twirling and gymnastics.

DEAN

Well, I'm this way.

RORY

I'm this way.

DEAN

See you later.

RORY

See ya.

DEAN

You know, I kind of liked the body in the trunk thing.

RORY

Me, too. Peppier.

DEAN

Night.

RORY

Night.

RORY

Oh, sorry.

LORELAI

It's okay.

ALEX

It's okay.

RORY

I can just shut the door so you can carry on.

ALEX

No, we've carried on enough.

LORELAI

Yeah, I think we've carried on pretty good out here. I'll call you about the weekend.

ALEX

Okay.

LORELAI

Bye.

ALEX

Bye. Bye Rory.

RORY

Goodnight.

RORY

We need a signal.

LORELAI

A kissing signal?

RORY

Something to avoid this.

LORELAI

Okay, um, how 'bout I shoot off a flare when I'm outside necking with a boy?

RORY

You know what I mean.

LORELAI

Or I could bang on the door and yell, "Hey, we're necking out here!"

RORY

I still say we need a signal.

LORELAI

We'll think of something. Hey, listen. Alex and I were talking about going to New York next weekend.

RORY

Fun.

LORELAI

Yeah. He's got four tickets to a show and he's heard me talk about Sookie and Jackson so much that he wants to invite them, too.

RORY

It's not "Buckle Up, I'm Patty," is it?

LORELAI

Huh?

RORY

Nothing.

LORELAI

We'd have to leave Friday day.

RORY

So?

LORELAI

Meaning it's just you and Jess alone at dinner with the glorious Emily.

RORY

Oh, that's totally fine.

LORELAI

Are you sure?

RORY

Yeah, it might even make things easier.

LORELAI

What does that mean?

RORY

Nothing. Just, it might make it less pressure-packed.

LORELAI

So I'm loud when you study and make social gatherings worse?

RORY

Out of the goodness of your heart, you would be trying to shield me all night, and that might makes things worse. Out of love. And I love you, I hope you know that.

LORELAI

Okay, I think I get it. I have the best intentions.

RORY

Bingo. [answers phone] Hello?

JESS

Hey.

RORY

Hey. How was work?

JESS

I toted the barge, lifted the bale.

RORY

Well, you're a great barge toter, I can attest to that.

JESS

How was your day?

RORY

Fine. A lot of studying.

JESS

Oh yeah? Is that all you did?

RORY

Yeah, basically.

JESS

Basically?

RORY

Jess, what?

JESS

I heard that you were basically hanging out with Dean today.

RORY

Where did you hear that?

JESS

It's all over town.

RORY

Well, I was with him for awhile. What do you mean, it's all over town?

JESS

You haven't seen the fliers?

RORY

I've been home all night. What fliers?

JESS

It says, "People are already raving about Miss Patty's one woman show."

RORY

And?

JESS

There's some blurbs. One says, "Rory and Dean couldn't stop talking about it."

RORY

We're on a flier?

JESS

You and a bunch of others. "The mailman says, even without proper postage, this show delivers."

RORY

Well, now she's making that up 'cause Ralph's not that witty.

JESS

Were you hanging out there with Dean?

RORY

I was not hanging out with Dean. We were both hauled in there to watch her try out material and we were sitting in the same area so we talked a little, and then we left at the same time. That was it. It was all by accident.

JESS

Yeah?

RORY

This is an old subject, Jess. You know that Dean and I are friendly.

JESS

I know you're friendly. That doesn't mean I don't wanna punch him.

RORY

This was not a plan. I was kidnapped by Miss Patty, so was he, that's it.

JESS

Then you two should press charges.

RORY

I think we should.

JESS

Just –

RORY

What?

JESS

Just tell me these things first so I don't have to read about them on telephone poles.

RORY

I will, I promise.

JESS

Okay.

RORY

Okay.

JESS

So, how was the show?

RORY

It's gonna need a lot of postage.

JESS

Why does it say, "Not in any way affiliated with Kirk" down at the bottom?

RORY

Oh, they had a showbiz spat.

JESS

Fill me in.

LORELAI

Help yourselves to drinks in the fridge, guys. We've got chips, pretzels, and Brian, I remembered your allergies and got you the melba toast.

BRIAN

That's nice, thanks.

DAVE

We got a lot done today.

LANE

We've almost got a full set.

ZACH

But you know what we're missing? A straight-ahead love song.

BRIAN

Yeah, all our songs are pretty much about property destruction and a general dislike of right-wing causes.

LORELAI

Not one love song, huh?

DAVE

I think we can add one or two, that are good ones.

LORELAI

Boy, you'd think love songs are all you and Lane would wanna play.

ZACH

Man, this crunch just now sounded like the drum-fill in Baba O'Reilly.

LANE

Cool, way to go Zach.

DAVE

Yeah, Zach, a musical mouth. That's awesome.

ZACH

But why would Dave and Lane wanna play just love songs?

LORELAI

Because, I was just thinking, you know, with Dave's name – Dave – you've got the last two letters in love. V, E. And with Lane's name, you have the L. You can just dump the A and add an O and there you go.

ZACH

Makes sense.

BRIAN

Totally. We should probably start breaking stuff down. I gotta get home for dinner.

ZACH

One day soon, you're not gonna go home from dinner.

BRIAN

What, I'll be dead?

ZACH

No, we'll be on tour.

BRIAN

Right, right.

ZACH

That was a negative "right, right," man.

LORELAI

Guys, I'm so sorry. It just slipped out.

LANE

That's okay.

DAVE

Luckily Zach and Brian are... well, Zach and Brian.

LORELAI

How long are you gonna keep it a secret?

LANE

For awhile, at least. It's easier.

LORELAI

Are you sure it would be so bad if they knew? I mean, keeping this a secret seems awfully complicated.

LANE

Not really, we've got a system.

DAVE

Um, speaking of which, it's 3:18. We'll have the stuff packed by 3:40, what's the situation?

LANE

At 3:40, my mom will be on her way to the yarn store for her bimonthly sew-a-thon with Lacey Schwartz and Bick Ho.

DAVE

The yarn store's on Peach.

LANE

Plum.

DAVE

That cuts us off from our usually route to the interstate.

LANE

There's a back road that circles around it, but it's gonna be muddy from the rains.

DAVE

How about I have the guys take the usual route, I'll go by foot on Peach, down the alley behind Al's, over the fence, and they can pick me up a half a mile down by the Shell station.

LANE

Perfect. Uh, what, that's not complicated.

LORELAI

Sorry I doubted you.

LANE

Well, okay, then.

LORELAI

Hey.

LUKE

Hey. Coffee?

LORELAI

Please, and hurry. I am going to Manhattan this weekend and I need to shop for some warm clothes.

LUKE

You already have warm clothes.

LORELAI

I have nothing.

LUKE

We're in Connecticut. It gets freezing here same as in New York.

LORELAI

No, it's not the same.

LUKE

Exactly the same.

LORELAI

Well, I have nothing stylish enough.

LUKE

That's not true, you got the black cashmere coat.

LORELAI

But it needs cleaning.

LUKE

So clean it.

LORELAI

But I need some sweaters, too.

LUKE

You've got the purple, you've got the powder blue, you've got three shades of red, you've got a ton of black, all of which will go with that coat. Plus, you've got a dozen scarves to mix and match with any of those tops.

LORELAI

Let me shop for some clothes.

LUKE

Okay. So what are you doing in New York?

LORELAI

Oh, a bunch of us are going. It'll be dinner and a show.

LUKE

Oh, what show?

LORELAI

Levittown, it's a new musical.

LUKE

Right, yeah. It's in previews, doesn't officially open for a couple weeks.

LORELAI

Wow, so informed.

LUKE

Nicole likes the theater. Her firm has an office on Madison. I've met her there a couple times. Saw Hairspray last week.

LORELAI

I cannot picture you watching Hairspray.

LUKE

It was okay. I liked The Producers better.

LORELAI

Well, aren't we just a Broadway baby.

LUKE

Gonna have any time to kill there?

LORELAI

Some.

LUKE

Got a great book, it has walking tours of old historic Manhattan. You know, before Disney got a hold of it. The Soho one's pretty good.

LORELAI

Oh, I love stuff like that.

LUKE

It's upstairs on my dresser if you wanna run up and grab it.

LORELAI

Cool, thanks.

LORELAI

Oh, oh!

RORY

Mom!

LORELAI

Surprise.

RORY

What are you doing here?

LORELAI

I came up for a book.

JESS

A book?

LORELAI

Yeah.

JESS

Got a lot of books here. Anything in particular?

LORELAI

It's one of Luke's.

JESS

Well, if it doesn't have Encyclopedia Brown in the title, that narrows it down a lot.

LORELAI

Walking tours, New York.

JESS

On the table. [hands her the book]

LORELAI

Good, here it is, okay, so, thanks. Sorry about this.

RORY

It's okay.

LORELAI

We should probably come up with a system or something.

RORY

Probably.

LORELAI

Déjà vu, huh?

RORY

Déjà vu.

LORELAI

Although, why I'd be walking into Luke's apartment like this in the future, I don't know, so put the system on the back burner.

JESS

Okay.

LORELAI

Mmkay. Carry on, or... see ya.

LORELAI

Dude!

LUKE

Hey. Find it okay?

LORELAI

Yeah. I found everything -- including a couple coupling.

LUKE

Oh, Rory and Jess?

LORELAI

No, Ben and J. Lo. Yes, Rory and Jess.

LUKE

I guess I should've told you.

LORELAI

You knew they were up there?

LUKE

They're up there all the time.

LORELAI

On the couch... horizontal, on the couch?

LUKE

They come up for air every so often.

LORELAI

And you just allow this? Luke!

LUKE

Settle down. I go up there every ten minutes pretending to get something to keep them from doing something we don't want. "Oops, I forgot my pocketknife." "Oops, uh, I'm out of ones." "Uh, hey, you see a case of mustard up here?" I put the stuff in a box. I take the box upstairs every couple days and start all over again.

LORELAI

And you think that suffices?

LUKE

Look, it's better that they're safe and upstairs than someplace else. And you going up there just now saved me a trip, so thanks.

LORELAI

Glad to be of service.

LUKE

I got a good system, it works.

LORELAI

Every ten minutes?

LUKE

Like clockwork, never a minute more.

LORELAI

Even if you're serving a customer, it's every ten minutes?

LUKE

If I'm in mid-pour, I stop and go up.

LORELAI

Ten minutes. Yeah, that's pretty much the time it took to create Rory. And that included getting dressed and freshening my lipstick.

LUKE

What?

LORELAI

Thanks for the book.

LUKE

Caesar, cover for me.

LORELAI

[from upstairs] Rory?

RORY

I'm coming.

LORELAI

Toute de suite, and I don't mean the candy.

RORY

Okay, what's the packing crisis?

LORELAI

That's the thing. I have no packing crisis. For the first time in my life, there is no packing crisis. See? This has never happened to me before. I'm all packed, ready to go, and fully confident that I have everything I'll need or desire.

RORY

So you're creating a crisis out of nostalgia?

LORELAI

No, see, Alex and I talked about everything we plan to do and how he expected to dress and how I expected to dress, and we coordinated to the point where I knew each piece of clothing I had to bring, down to the Spice Girls necklace I plan to wear Saturday morning for breakfast because we agreed to keep it a little whimsical.

RORY

So, not your Jonas Salk necklace?

LORELAI

I'm trying to become as good a planner as you.

RORY

So, what's the problem?

LORELAI

I have no idea what to wear on the drive. I wanna look good, obviously, but not too good that it steps on my night outfit, and I also wanna be comfortable.

RORY

What's he wearing, a jogging suit?

LORELAI

Yeah, and then after, he and Paulie are hitting the Bada Bing.

RORY

Your point being, it's probably not a running suit.

LORELAI

Right.

RORY

And tonight's a dress?

LORELAI

And, uh, my cashmere coat and a hat.

RORY

Your stretchy jeans and your Bunnyranch T-shirt.

LORELAI

Comfort and raunch, I love it. Good. So, um, how are you guys working the logistics tonight?

RORY

I am going to study at school, then I'm going straight to Grandma's from there. Jess is driving straight from work, and then he's driving me home.

LORELAI

Home? Home here?

RORY

Yeah, he's gonna drop me off here.

LORELAI

Well, I guess that makes sense.

RORY

I thought so.

LORELAI

Although, hm, I don't know.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

Are you sure that's the best way to do it?

RORY

Yeah, why?

LORELAI

Well, it just means you're coming home to an empty house.

RORY

Well, that's your doing, not mine.

LORELAI

Yeah, but it might be kind of lonely here. Did you think about staying at Mom's?

RORY

Overnight?

LORELAI

Yeah. They've got those fancy beds that don't sag, and you're guaranteed a great Norma Desmond style breakfast the next morning. You don't have school, it works out perfectly.

RORY

I'd rather just come home.

LORELAI

Okay, sure. But, you know, staying at your grandmother's would also mean that Jess wouldn't have to go out of his way at the end of the night to drop you off. It would be much more convenient for him.

RORY

Our house is two-tenths of a mile out of his way.

LORELAI

Are you sure he's gonna have enough gas?

RORY

I'll make sure.

LORELAI

But if you can't get a hold of him, it might be safer to plan on staying at Mom's. I mean, if you run out of gas, you're stuck. And at the mercy of the Orcs.

RORY

Mom, why are you so freaked?

LORELAI

This is not freaked.

RORY

Is it because you won't be here and he will?

LORELAI

Uh, it might've crossed my mind.

RORY

And what are you worried about happening?

LORELAI

Well, what you guys were on the on-ramp for up at Luke's the other day. Your basic boy/girl stuff. Especially with this new boy, you girl stuff.

RORY

Well, the boy is different, but I'm still me. That hasn't changed.

LORELAI

Yeah, I know.

RORY

And I have so much on my mind, so many things going on in my life, that I don't ever have time to think about that.

LORELAI

No thinking at all?

RORY

None, I swear.

LORELAI

Mmhmm, sure, sure.

RORY

And we talk about everything together, you and me, remember? So it's not like something will happen that you won't know about.

LORELAI

Good. [doorbell rings] That's Alex. Come on.

EMILY

You know, you didn't have to change.

RORY

Well, I feel kind of dumb being in my uniform when I'm not in school.

EMILY

But you look darling in it. I'm going to miss it when you go to college.

RORY

Yeah, I am, too, in a way. I mean, I like not having to think about what I'm going to wear.

EMILY

And you'll have plenty of years to stress yourself out about that.

RORY

I'm sorry he's late.

EMILY

We're fine. Dinner will keep.

RORY

I know how you like things to be punctual.

EMILY

There was a big tie-up on the 84 earlier. He's probably smack dab in the middle of that. Why don't you try him on his cell phone, see what's going on.

RORY

He doesn't have one.

EMILY

Really?

RORY

He doesn't believe in them.

EMILY

Well, I find that refreshing. Technology is encroaching too fast on every aspect of life, if you ask me. It's getting to the point where people will want robots to carry them from place to place. [the doorbell rings] There he is.

RORY

What –

JESS

Sorry I'm late.

EMILY

Oh, that's all right. Come in, come in. It's cold out.

RORY

Um, Grandma, this is Jess. Jess, my grandmother.

EMILY

Nice to meet you.

JESS

Same here.

RORY

Uh, what happened to your eye?

JESS

It's a long story, I don't wanna bore you.

EMILY

Oh, this is new?

RORY

Brand new.

EMILY

It looks bad. Does it hurt?

JESS

I'm fine.

RORY

Is it why you were late?

JESS

No, 84 was jammed.

EMILY

We knew that, too. There was something with a big rig. Oh, those things, they scare the life out of me. And apparently, all the men who drive them are hopped up on bennies and goofballs. Come, come, have a seat at the table. I'll go check on dinner. [walks away]

JESS

Shouldn't we go with her?

RORY

Were you in a fight?

JESS

Dinner's waiting.

RORY

Jess, were you in a fight?

JESS

I told you, it's a long story, I don't wanna talk about it.

RORY

Why?

JESS

Look, Rory, I'm already in a crappy mood. Traffic sucked. Traffic I hit going to a function I didn't particularly wanna go to. And I'm thirsty. And I'm hungry. So let's eat.

JESS

So do we eat standing up?

RORY

Over there.

EMILY

The roast looks perfect. Oh, Jess, you eat meat, I hope. I forgot to ask.

JESS

I'm a carnivore.

EMILY

Good. I don't see how anybody can resist eating meat.

JESS

It's why we have teeth.

EMILY

That's how I feel. Dinner parties used to be simple. Now every time we give one, I have to run my menu down with every person on the list. It's tiring. This one eats just about anything.

RORY

Grandma.

EMILY

I'm sorry, but the way you and your mother eat, and those slim figures of yours – it's a medical marvel.

JESS

They should be studied.

RORY

I don't think so.

EMILY

So, Rory tells me you're part of the Wal-Mart corporation.

JESS

Only out of necessity.

EMILY

They sound like wonderful stores.

JESS

Oh, yeah, I wanna be buried there.

EMILY

We've never actually been inside one, but we own the stock.

JESS

Thanks for the paycheck.

EMILY

Oh, that's very funny.

RORY

Did you just get it?

JESS

Huh?

RORY

The eye – did it just happen?

JESS

You know, we should eat these salads so the roast doesn't get cold.

RORY

I mean, it must be sometime between nine last night and now.

EMILY

Hm?

RORY

His eye.

JESS

Yeah, it was sometime in there.

RORY

But you can't narrow it down?

JESS

Rory, come on.

EMILY

Oh my God, there's no salt and pepper on this table. We'll need it for the meat. These people are supposed to be trained before I get them, but God knows that's never the case. [leaves room]

JESS

What is your problem?

RORY

You're not telling me the truth, that's my problem.

JESS

I don't wanna get into it here.

RORY

And it's obvious why.

JESS

Oh, is it?

RORY

You got into a fight with Dean.

JESS

Unbelievable.

RORY

Is that it?

JESS

It always comes back to Dean.

RORY

Because you bring it there.

JESS

You brought up Dean.

RORY

Because you got into a fight with him.

JESS

Why are you pressing this? Why? I'm trying to make some kind of quasi-positive impression on your grandmother per your request and you're forcing me to do otherwise. And what the hell are raisins doing in a salad? Why can't people leave well enough alone?

RORY

Well, in that whole speech, I didn't hear you deny it.

EMILY

We've got great choices on the prime rib. How do you like your prime rib, Jess?

JESS

Cooked.

RORY

He's not picky, Grandma.

EMILY

Good, that'll make it easier. So, what did I miss?

JESS

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

RORY

Grandma, would it be all right if I speak to Jess for a second? We can go to the study.

JESS

We're eating.

RORY

Well, I want to talk.

JESS

You're being a little rude to your grandmother, Rory.

EMILY

I can leave the room for a minute if you want.

RORY

No, Grandma, we'll be right back.

RORY

I told you nothing happened at Patty's, but you just wouldn't believe it. You had to get into a fight with Dean tonight right before meeting my grandmother. This is a disaster.

JESS

I did not get into a fight with Dean.

RORY

Bull.

JESS

Believe what you want.

RORY

I'm going to find out eventually, so why keep it from me?

JESS

What if Dean had sucker-punched me and I had to defend myself? You're not even considering the possibility that that's what happened?

RORY

Dean wouldn't do that.

JESS

Oh, no, he might get his big white Stetson dirty.

RORY

You're being a jerk to my grandmother, too.

JESS

Hey, I'm doing my best. If that means I'm being a jerk, then that's what I am. I didn't even wanna come.

RORY

No one made you.

JESS

You made me. Now I've seen it all.

RORY

You embarrassed me in front of her.

JESS

That's it, I've had it.

RORY

So have I.

JESS

If you're gonna harp on this, I'm leaving.

RORY

Oh, great, so now I have to explain to my Grandma why my boyfriend who showed up a half-hour late with a black eye is walking out.

JESS

Well, you like making up stories in your head so that should be easy for you.

EMILY

Is he fetching something from his car?

RORY

I don't think so.

EMILY

He left.

RORY

Yeah, he left.

EMILY

Well, you can take some prime rib back for him if you want. What do you say the girls have some dinner, huh?

JACKSON

So, good, good show.

LORELAI

Yeah, yeah. Alex, thank you for getting us those tickets.

SOOKIE

Great production value.

JACKSON

Oh, amazing. I mean, the way they do lighting on these things.

SOOKIE

It's magical, it's magical.

ALEX

This is the worst piece of crap I've ever seen.

LORELAI

What?

ALEX

I saw Moose Murders. This stinks worse.

SOOKIE

I thought it was me.

JACKSON

I was dying in there.

LORELAI

Every song is the same.

SOOKIE

The same two notes.

LORELAI

How does that happen?

SOOKIE

I feel so very bad. Yes, I feel so very sad.

LORELAI

I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm mad.

SOOKIE

I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm sad.

JACKSON

I'm sorry – that's better, rent a theater.

ALEX

Look, I say we hit a bar, get some drinks, continue plotting out this musical you guys are writing.

LORELAI

Cool. We'll need pens and paper.

SOOKIE

Just memorize it. I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm sad.

JACKSON

We'll grab a cab.

SOOKIE

Hey, that fits right in.

LORELAI

You're nice.

ALEX

I try.

ALEX

Who are you expecting?

LORELAI

Oh, Rory. I mean, not that I'm expecting a call because a call could mean something bad, so, um, not getting a call is probably best.

ALEX

Probably.

LORELAI

I'm just gonna give her a call.

ALEX

You know, on the drive down here, you made me promise to stop you if you were gonna call Rory for the wrong reason.

LORELAI

But I left the iron on.

ALEX

She'll turn it off.

LORELAI

She's got this boy.

ALEX

I know.

LORELAI

I shouldn't call her.

ALEX

It's up to you.

JACKSON

Hey guys, we got a cab, and the driver likes our song.

LORELAI

Putting away phone now.

ALEX

Good girl.

RORY

Hello?

LORELAI

Good morning.

RORY

Hey. It's early. Why are you calling so early?

LORELAI

Oh, I don't know. I must've screwed up the time difference. What time is it there?

RORY

The same time it is there.

LORELAI

Ah, sorry.

RORY

How's it going?

LORELAI

Good. A lot of walking. We all had pizza at John's in the village and wrote a musical.

RORY

Good for you.

LORELAI

Then we picked the same Dean Martin song on the jukebox twenty-five times and people started complaining, so we picked the Bee Gees' "New York Mining Disaster" and they begged for Dean Martin back.

RORY

Sounds fun.

LORELAI

So, how'd the dinner go?

RORY

Uh, not well. Far from well.

LORELAI

What?

RORY

I'm at Grandma's.

LORELAI

You stayed the night?

RORY

Yup.

LORELAI

What did she do? Did she make you stay because she didn't want Jess to drive you home? She is so untrusting. And to ruin this dinner – I'm gonna kill her.

RORY

No, Grandma was great. The whole time, even when Jess was late.

LORELAI

You're kidding.

RORY

She was a saint. Staying over was my idea.

LORELAI

Why?

RORY

Jess and I got into the most horrible fight of my life and it was... ugh. I can't even say.

LORELAI

I don't believe this.

RORY

He showed up with a big black eye.

LORELAI

A black guy?

RORY

Eye, a black eye. He got into a fight.

LORELAI

With who, Dean?

RORY

He wouldn't say, but yes, and he was all standoffish about it and things got worse and worse and he walked out. It was all horrible.

LORELAI

Wow, honey. I'm sorry. Are you okay?

RORY

I'm upset, but I'm okay.

EMILY

Oh, I thought I heard you up. How 'bout some breakfast?

RORY

Sure.

EMILY

Is that Jess?

RORY

No, it's Mom.

LORELAI

Hey, put her on.

RORY

She wants to talk to you. Bye.

LORELAI

See ya tonight.

EMILY

Hello?

LORELAI

Mom, hi, listen. Rory kind of explained what happened last night, and how you were really great about it. I just wanted to thank you. I mean, I don't know all the details, but I'm sure it all could've been way worse, and you keeping your cool like that was really, really nice. Thanks.

EMILY

How can you let your daughter be with that abominable thug?

LORELAI

Mom –

EMILY

First he arrives late, how disrespectful is that? Then he's rude to Rory, rude to me.

LORELAI

Mom –

EMILY

Oh, and that attitude – I wanted to slap that monosyllabic mouth of his. And God forbid they're in another accident together or his heap of a car breaks down and Lord Jim has decided cell phones are beneath him and they're stranded in the middle of nowhere. How can you let this happen? He had a black eye. He belongs in jail!

ZACH

Yo, dude, that's disrespectful.

DAVE

We're really early. Let's get something to eat.

ZACH

Sure, what do we want?

BRIAN

I've only got three bucks.

ZACH

You always only got three bucks. What is it, you go to an ATM that only gives out three bucks at a time?

DAVE

Let's just pick.

BRIAN

Well, I'm sick of burgers, so if it could be a place that has more than burgers –

ZACH

What do you want, like a three-dollar sushi place?

BRIAN

It doesn't have to be sushi.

DAVE

Guys, shut up and be cool. Don't say a thing.

BRIAN

What, why?

DAVE

Mrs. Kim, hello.

MRS. KIM

David.

ZACH

David?

BRIAN

Mrs. Kim. You're Lane's mom?

MRS. KIM

How do you know Lane?

ZACH

She's a great dr –

DAVE

Girl. We all think so.

MRS. KIM

Who are you? What is all this, David? Who are all these unwashed boys?

DAVE

Well, see, Zach and Brian here play in a combo with me when I don't play solo.

MRS. KIM

A combo?

DAVE

A Christian combo.

MRS. KIM

Oh, good. With just a guitar it can sound thin.

DAVE

Well, that's why we play music together. Uh, the light's turned, we should probably get –

MRS. KIM

Wait, I want to warn you about something.

DAVE

Yes?

MRS. KIM

About Lane. She has a crush on you.

DAVE

She does?

MRS. KIM

I thought you should know. She's a good girl, but flighty sometimes. Be careful around her. I know you're a serious boy, I don't want you to be shocked.

DAVE

Oh, no, thank you. I'll be very careful, I promise.

MRS. KIM

Okay. Maybe I'll book your combo sometime, mix it up a little.

DAVE

It would be our pleasure. Right, guys?

ZACH

Yeah.

BRIAN

Sure.

MRS. KIM

Don't speed. [walks away]

DAVE

Okay, so, uh, where do we wanna eat?

RORY

Hey.

DEAN

Hey there. Did you see those fliers? Apparently, I clicked my heels for joy after one of her songs. I don't remember that.

RORY

Me neither. Can I talk to you for a sec?

DEAN

Well, yeah, what's wrong?

RORY

Dean, this whole friend thing with us isn't going to work if we're not honest with each other.

DEAN

I agree.

RORY

Okay, so, anything you wanna tell me?

DEAN

Corn's two for a dollar?

RORY

Jess has a black eye.

DEAN

Oh yeah?

RORY

Any idea where he got it?

DEAN

That would be an extremely long list.

RORY

It wasn't you?

DEAN

It wasn't me.

RORY

You swear?

DEAN

I swear. Did he say it was me?

RORY

No, he's not saying anything. He's less talkative than some.

DEAN

Yeah, sorry, I have no idea. Look, I really don't like talking about –

RORY

I know, sorry, I –

DEAN

I should get back to work.

RORY

Okay, thanks.

DEAN

Sorry I couldn't solve the mystery.

RORY

Me, too.

LUKE

Whoa.

JESS

What?

LUKE

You're Petey the dog.

JESS

I prefer to not talk about this.

LUKE

Is that why you snuck in last night?

JESS

I did not sneak in. Now, could we get back to work here?

LUKE

Fine, start clearing some stuff. So when'd you get into a fight with Dean?

JESS

It wasn't a fight with Dean.

LUKE

Whoa, where's that coming from? I just asked.

JESS

What's with everybody making assumptions? I'm sick of it.

LUKE

So it wasn't Dean.

JESS

No.

LUKE

When did it happen, yesterday?

JESS

Yes.

LUKE

You went to Rory's grandmother yesterday. She punch you?

JESS

Stop.

LUKE

Where'd you get it?

JESS

Santa Claus.

LUKE

So you're not gonna tell me?

JESS

That's right.

LUKE

[answers] Hello? Yeah, hey Rory, hang on a sec. [to Jess] It's Rory.

JESS

I'm not here.

LUKE

What?

JESS

Get a clue, Columbo. I don't wanna talk to her.

LUKE

You don't wanna talk to Rory? [to Rory] Yeah, Rory? Yeah, he just went someplace. Yeah, I'll tell him. Bye.

LUKE

Come on.

JESS

Hey.

JESS

Come on, what is this?

LUKE

Look, you're my responsibility. You're exhibiting signs of violent behavior and I don't care how much you don't wanna talk about it, you're not leaving until you tell me. Now, tell me, where'd you get the black eye?

JESS

You wouldn't believe it anyway.

LUKE

Try me, tough guy.

JESS

A swan.

LUKE

Excuse me?

JESS

I was attacked by a swan. Okay, you happy? A stupid swan.

LUKE

Now, how 'bout the real story?

JESS

That is the real story. It hangs out by Larson's Dock. I was just walking by and the thing came out of nowhere and bam – beaked me right in the eye.

LUKE

It beaked you?

JESS

You still don't believe me.

LUKE

I just never heard anyone use the word beaked as a verb before.

JESS

No, no, this isn't funny. That stupid bird attacked me. He could've blinded me. It's a vicious, vicious bird, and... fine. Forget it.

LUKE

What are you doing? Where are you going?

JESS

I'm gonna do a little beaking of my own.

LUKE

Jess, not the ladle. That's a brand new ladle. Take the baster!

LUKE

I don't see a swan.

JESS

Put your oars down.

LUKE

They don't like oars?

JESS

Just lay low, it'll come.

LUKE

Does it act all peaceful and Bambi-like and then suddenly attack like the rabbit in Monty Python?

JESS

Your voice is probably scaring it away.

LUKE

So how'd you explain the black eye to the Gilmores?

JESS

I didn't. The whole night sucked. I'm happy it's behind me.

LUKE

Behind you? You ain't got nothing behind you.

JESS

What do you mean?

LUKE

You'll have plenty more events like that in your future.

JESS

No way.

LUKE

When you date a girl like Rory, you're involved with her whole family. Just like that last girl you dated, you were involved with her whole petri dish.

JESS

At least she was easy to figure out.

LUKE

And you were bored from day one.

JESS

I'm dating Rory, not her family.

LUKE

All these people come in a package with this girl. The mother comes with this girl. The grandmother comes with this girl.

JESS

And apparently a bunch of others. Everybody she's ever met, including Dean.

LUKE

She picked you.

JESS

God knows why.

LUKE

She knows, that's all that matters. Jess, being jealous of Dean –

JESS

I am not jealous of Dean.

LUKE

Being jealous of Dean is pointless. You're just gonna drive Rory away. You wanna have a relationship with someone, you're gonna have to learn to open up your mouth and say something.

JESS

Give it a rest, Dr. Phil.

LUKE

You can't shut down, you can't avoid her calls.

JESS

I didn't wanna talk.

LUKE

Well, when are you gonna wanna talk?

JESS

I don't know.

LUKE

So, what are you gonna do, just keep avoiding her and never take her calls again?

JESS

She'll find me eventually.

LUKE

If she keeps looking for you.

JESS

Hey, I'm not gonna be a wuss like Dean.

LUKE

Dean had that girl for two years. You have a little fight after two months, you walk out, and it's over?

JESS

I don't care.

LUKE

Okay, fine, you don't care, that's obvious.

JESS

Shh!

LUKE

Is that the one?

JESS

That's it. Watch it.

LUKE

I'm watching it. It's pretty.

JESS

Shh!

LUKE

Is it gonna double back?

JESS

Maybe.

LUKE

So it's lulling us into complacency.

JESS

He's vicious, I'm telling you.

LUKE

Yeah, his butt's terrifying.

JESS

It's outnumbered. That's the problem. It knows there's two of us.

LUKE

So you want me to get under water, swim along with the boat, breathe through a straw?

JESS

Forget it.

LUKE

Maybe it's gonna get another swan and come back and make a fight of it, huh?

JESS

Forget it.

LANE

He's not even calling you back, huh?

RORY

No, and I'm not sure what to do.

LANE

Well, Dave and I have never had a fight because we haven't really truly begun dating, so I have no perspective on this.

RORY

Well, you'd better hurry up and start having bad boy troubles so I can get some feedback.

DAVE

Hey there.

LANE

Hi guys.

RORY

How's it going?

ZACH

I think it's going a little weird, to tell you the truth.

LANE

Weird, why?

BRIAN

I think we need to get something out in the open here.

ZACH

Definitely.

DAVE

We ran into your mom.

LANE

My mom?

RORY

Oh boy.

ZACH

Yeah, and we're well aware that there's a situation here that you guys have been hiding.

BRIAN

We should get it out in the open here or else it's gonna get weirder.

DAVE

Yeah, I guess so. We didn't mean anything by hiding it guys.

ZACH

Well, what pisses us off is that you felt you had to hide it.

DAVE

Really?

ZACH

Yeah. Dave, you're a Christian. So what? That's cool.

BRIAN

It's nothing to hide.

ZACH

Christians can still rock.

DAVE

They can?

LANE

Yeah, yeah, Dave. Christians can still rock, don't hide it.

ZACH

Marshall Stacks don't know Christians from atheists.

DAVE

Gosh, I just wasn't sure if you guys would be accepting of my devoutness.

BRIAN

Dave, it's a part of you, and we think you're cool, so it's cool.

DAVE

Great. Thanks, guys.

ZACH

But no way are we playing Creed, man.

DAVE

Oh, no, of course not.

ZACH

Or Amy Grant. That's where we draw the line.

LANE

This is very accepting of you guys.

BRIAN

And we'd be totally into playing that gig for your mom if it pays.

LANE

Oh, Mrs. Kim pays. Uh, she's very good about that.

RORY

That's my mom. I'm glad this all worked out.

LANE

Yeah, me too.

RORY

Hey.

LORELAI

Oh, my little daughter.

RORY

I'm happy to see you. Thanks for bringing her back in one piece.

ALEX

No problem.

LORELAI

I'm very weak.

ALEX

She hasn't eaten in awhile.

RORY

I warned you to keep to her feeding schedule.

LORELAI

I'm drifting, drifting.

ALEX

She wanted to wait to have dinner with you.

RORY

That's sweet.

LORELAI

Must have food now.

RORY

I'll take it from here.

ALEX

Thanks.

LORELAI

Bye. [to Rory] You're not food.

ALEX

Revive her.

RORY

I will. I'm gonna run and get take out.

LORELAI

Oh, make like the wind.

RORY

Can you make it to the door?

LORELAI

I'll struggle.

JESS

Rory.

RORY

Oh, hey.

JESS

Hey. Your mom home?

RORY

I'm bringing supplies.

JESS

Should've brought a mule.

RORY

What?

JESS

A pack mule, to carry it.

RORY

Oh, yeah.

JESS

So, sorry I missed your calls.

RORY

You were always out.

JESS

Yeah. I was getting ready to call you just now, but you would've been out.

RORY

Ironic.

JESS

Yeah.

RORY

So, I know there was no fight with Dean.

JESS

Really? How? You asked Dean.

RORY

It was the only thing I could think to do.

JESS

To go to the source.

RORY

Yup. I'm sorry I doubted you.

JESS

It's okay. I would've doubted me, too.

RORY

I need to trust you as much as I trusted –

JESS

Him.

RORY

Yeah.

JESS

This black eye screwed everything up.

RORY

Yeah.

JESS

Next time I go to your grandmother's, I'll try not to have one.

RORY

Next time?

JESS

Next time.

RORY

So what happened?

JESS

I don't –

RORY

Come on. It wasn't Dean, you can say.

JESS

Will that make you happy?

RORY

Yes, very.

JESS

Okay, I'll tell you the truth, since we're both so into the truth tonight. That's what good relationships are about, right?

RORY

Right.

JESS

But you've gotta promise not to mock me ever, and please don't tell anyone else.

RORY

Promise.

JESS

I was throwing a football with a buddy and got hit in the eye.

RORY

You poor thing.

JESS

Yeah.

RORY

But that's not embarrassing.

JESS

Yeah, now that you mention it, it's not.

RORY

I have to go.

JESS

Don't go.

RORY

I don't want to.

JESS

Then don't. Let's go somewhere.

RORY

I've got takeout.

JESS

I'll reimburse you.

RORY

My mom's waiting. Keep thinking what you're thinking.

JESS

I don't have a choice.

RORY

Mom?

LORELAI

Hm? Is that you, Rhett?

RORY

I bring food.

LORELAI

Oh, thank God. Ha! One of everything at Al's. Bless you with gluttony. Aren't you hungry?

RORY

Yeah.

LORELAI

Well, come on, dig in. What's wrong?

RORY

Nothing. Um, listen.

LORELAI

I'm listening.

RORY

When I said before that I was too busy to think about it, I realized now that I'm not too busy to think about it.

LORELAI

Think about it?

RORY

About it.

LORELAI

Oh, it.

RORY

Yeah, it.

LORELAI

Ha, it.

RORY

Nothing's happened yet, but... it might. Maybe.

LORELAI

Maybe?

RORY

Maybe... with Jess.

LORELAI

Hm, with Jess.

RORY

You still want me to tell you everything, right?

LORELAI

Yeah. Uh, no. Well –

RORY

Which is it?

LORELAI

We're doing this now.

RORY

Yes. Which is it?

LORELAI

I don't know.

RORY

You'll let me know?

LORELAI

Yeah.

RORY

Was that, yeah, you'll let me know, or yeah, that's your answer, you wanna know?

LORELAI

I guess, I wanna know, yes, and now, sure.

RORY

Well, nothing's happened.

LORELAI

I heard.

RORY

But it might.

LORELAI

Okay. Could you tell me before it does?

RORY

Right before, or –

LORELAI

No, just... just before.

RORY

Okay.

LORELAI

Okay, good. Is that it?

RORY

For tonight, yeah.

LORELAI

Good. This... this is good.

RORY

Yeah, it is good.

LORELAI

Okay, well, let's eat.

RORY

Good.