T3E9: “A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving”

RORY

I like these women.

LORELAI

I love these women.

RORY

Poor Edie.

LORELAI

Which Edie?

RORY

Little Edie. She's just trying to sing and her mom won't stop talking.

LORELAI

Big Edie was so beautiful in her day.

RORY

They were both pretty.

LORELAI

I can't believe they were related to Jackie.

RORY

Well, the Kennedy's kind of hid them in the background for many years.

LORELAI

Well, when you're a Kennedy, how do you even choose who in the family to hide?

RORY

It's a tough choice.

LORELAI

Something beautiful about them though. They're cool, they're free.

RORY

Yeah, and they're memorable. Most people are very forgettable. And they're happy.

LORELAI

They had their cats.

RORY

And their raccoons.

LORELAI

And their pretty house.

RORY

And each other.

LORELAI

Add a few years and they're us.

RORY

Yeah... yeah.

LORELAI

Yeah.

SOOKIE

Rhiana, run it through the sieve again, I want it smooth as glass. Don't cut corners, people!

LORELAI

Is she melting down?

MICHEL

Like butter on a skillet.

LORELAI

Sookie...

SOOKIE

Just a sec, hon. How's your love life, Pete? A little frustrated, I bet. Wondering how I know that? 'Cause you're taking it out on my egg whites. Gently, fold them gently. Cheryl – you're slicing not dicing, I can hear it in the chop. Adjust, my friend.

LORELAI

Sookie, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, let's talk.

SOOKIE

I'm extremely lacking in time here.

LORELAI

What's going on?

SOOKIE

Uh, chaos? Uh, a travesty of cooking? It's a salmonella laboratory in here!

LORELAI

Sookie, the kitchen will be in good hands.

SOOKIE

But not in my hands.

LORELAI

It'll be in Bob hands. Bob has great hands.

SOOKIE

No, you know what Bob has? Bob has two seconds to get the hollandaise off the flame before I break his neck!

LORELAI

Sookie, listen, you hired Bob. You trained him in your image. He's great, and he's subbed for you before.

SOOKIE

But this is Thanksgiving, he has never done Thanksgiving.

LORELAI

He's ready, he'll sub for you seamlessly. Even Big Joe Newsanchor's have substitutes.

SOOKIE

And that's the thing. They still say, 'And now the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather.' You see? Dan is still associated with it even though he's off snorkeling or something, just like I'm gonna be associated with the dinner because Bob is substituting for Sookie. Excuse me one minute.

MICHEL

Oh, this can only be good.

LORELAI

Sookie, that's the garbage. Stop rooting through the garbage.

SOOKIE

I will when people stop throwing away useful stuff!

LORELAI

Drop, drop the, drop the tops, drop 'em, drop 'em. Come here, come here, come here. Now, Sookie, listen to me because you're torturing yourself here.

SOOKIE

Emily, hi.

LORELAI

Oh, that's nice. That's very high school. Stick with me here.

SOOKIE

Good to see you.

LORELAI

Yeah, ah, that's funny. You know who's behind you? It's Joseph Stalin, my good friend. What are you doing back from the dead, Joe?

EMILY

Lorelai.

LORELAI

Oh, Mom! Ah, geez, you scared me.

EMILY

You heard Sookie greet me.

LORELAI

Oh, I thought it was a joke.

EMILY

Like comparing me to Joseph Stalin?

LORELAI

I wasn't comparing you to Joseph Stalin.

EMILY

I'm in a hurry. Can we speak for a minute?

LORELAI

Yeah, I guess, for a minute. So, were you in the area or something?

EMILY

Not really.

LORELAI

Then what are you doing here?

EMILY

I wanted to talk to you.

LORELAI

Phone's out of order?

EMILY

Let's not play games here.

LORELAI

Games?

EMILY

I've called several times the past few weeks and you've skillfully avoided every call.

LORELAI

No, that's not true. I've left messages on your machine.

EMILY

Yes, messages. And then if I happened to pick up, you'd hang up. Or if the maid picked up, you'd ask for me, then claim you were driving through a tunnel so you might get cut off, and then you'd make garbling noises and hang up.

LORELAI

Fine, Mom, we're talking now. What's up?

EMILY

Are you feeling well?

LORELAI

You came all the way out here to ask me that?

EMILY

Well, you've been sick these past few Friday's for dinner, so I was concerned. That's why you didn't come, right, because you were sick? So are you better? You look fine.

LORELAI

Oh, it's the makeup. I'm still... uh, these allergies really just hit me like a ton of bricks.

EMILY

I've never heard you mention allergies before.

LORELAI

I'm a silent sufferer.

EMILY

Well, I certainly hope you're feeling better now because I want you to come to dinner tomorrow night.

LORELAI

Tomorrow? Tomorrow's Thanksgiving.

EMILY

Yes, it is Thanksgiving. And before you sift through the dozen or so excuses you always have on hand, let me have my say. You've missed two dinners and avoided my calls because you're mad at us about what happened at Yale. But I want you and Rory at Thanksgiving this year.

LORELAI

Mom –

EMILY

If you have plans –

LORELAI

We do have plans.

EMILY

Alter them. Now, there'll be other people there, so the focus won't be on you, and you may even be able to get by without saying more than 'hello', 'goodbye', and 'pass the gravy'.

LORELAI

We already have plans.

EMILY

Your father and I are going out of town the next day and we'll be gone all of December, including Christmas, so it's the last chance for the family to be together for the rest of the year.

LORELAI

Look –

EMILY

And I want you to remember that I am not the one who set the meeting for Rory behind your back. I want you there, Lorelai. And if you're still sick, I don't want a doctor's note. I want your doctor himself to come to my house and convince me that it's true, got it?

LORELAI

Got it.

EMILY

See you tomorrow.

TEACHER

The multi-layered membrane systems of the cytoplasm are the smooth endoplasmic reticulum, the rough endoplasmic reticulum, and the golgi body. Now, the smooth endoplasmic reticulum is concerned with the manufacture of lipid molecules. [bell rings] We'll continue on this next week. Keep up on your reading please.

MADELINE

That was really distracting.

PARIS

Oh. Well, by all means, Madeline, you should point out to the faculty that their annoying custom of teaching is distracting you from more important things like nail filing and daydreaming about marrying Ryan Phillippe.

LOUISE

Uh, he's already married.

PARIS

Then whatever strawhead actor isn't.

MADELINE

This was bad. For the last five minutes, every single thing she said sounded dirty.

LOUISE

Yeah, same here.

PARIS

Good God.

MADELINE

I mean, reticulum? Come on.

LOUISE

Plus, the golgi body. I mean, is it me or is that majorly pornographic?

PARIS

My life with the Banger sisters.

RORY

So, changing the subject...

PARIS

Hallelujah.

RORY

What's everybody doing for Thanksgiving?

PARIS

I can't even talk about Thanksgiving.

RORY

Louise?

LOUISE

I'm having dinner with my dad.

MADELINE

Isn't he still in jail?

LOUISE

Yes, but his company donated some treadmills for the inmates so he swung a special trailer for dinner that they're gonna set up for us in the parking lot. We have it for about two hours and then one of the Manson girls gets us.

MADELINE

You're lucky it's in that order.

PARIS

My Thanksgiving is turning into a Wes Craven movie.

RORY

How so?

PARIS

I called shelters to volunteer to serve food. It's Thanksgiving – you'd think they have needs. Nope. Every stupid soup kitchen in town turned me down because they have enough volunteers.

MADELINE

Bummer.

PARIS

I'm on a couple waiting lists, but it doesn't look good.

RORY

I've never heard of too many volunteers.

PARIS

Who are all these jackasses who volunteered anyway? They can't all be students like me. They're not all putting it on a college application. I get something out of it and these other people don't get a thing. Talk about selfish.

LOUISE

Sore subject.

RORY

What are you up to, Madeline?

MADELINE

I've got more college applications to fill out. Backups, safety schools.

LOUISE

I've got some of that, too. I'm so behind.

PARIS

I told you guys to have those things done by now.

LOUISE

Sorry, Mom.

PARIS

It's not about being sorry. It's about being prepared. I got Harvard and my backups in weeks ago.

MADELINE

Okay, all you're doing is making me more nervous. I'll see you guys Monday.

LOUISE

Same here.

RORY

Yup, see you guys Monday.

PARIS

Harvard is going to be expecting Thanksgiving shelter work. They'll know I called too late and it will totally impugn my organizational skills. By the way, you know I ultimately do all these things for the good of mankind, right?

RORY

Oh yeah.

PARIS

Sometimes I don't think I come off that way.

RORY

No.

PARIS

[answers phone] Hello? ... Yes, thanks for returning my call... nothing? But wait, wait, wait – just stick me at any old pot. I'm small, you won't even know I'm there, I'll even bring my own ladle... .Oh, now, come on, work with me here. I've got a slotted spoon... Well, what about coffee or condiments? You got condiments covered? ... I'm sorry, can I speak to your supervisor? ... My attitude? What about your attitude? I'm trying to help people. It's Thanksgiving...

RORY

So she coldcocked you, huh?

LORELAI

She bit me, incapacitated me with her poison, and devoured me whole.

RORY

But how are we going to go to four Thanksgiving dinners?

LORELAI

It's not four, is it?

RORY

Lane's house, Sookie's, and we always stop by Luke's... that's three, and Grandma and Grandpa is four.

LORELAI

Ah, we're mad, Edie.

RORY

We're us, Edie.

LORELAI

Well, we've gotta go to my parents' or we'll be brought up on war crimes. Lane's is always super early, so that's easy to catch. Sookie's is mid afternoon.

RORY

Luke's the toughie.

LORELAI

Guess that's the one we'll have to skip.

RORY

Bummer.

LORELAI

I know, but he won't care. Holidays are nothing to him anyway.

LORELAI

Hey Kirk. Discover a new freaky fetish?

KIRK

What?

LORELAI

Nothing. You buy a cat?

KIRK

Yup. I'm very excited.

LORELAI

You seem it. So what's all this?

RORY

I'm assuming there's nothing left in the store.

KIRK

Actually, there are a number of things left.

RORY

No, I meant you seem to be buying a lot of stuff.

KIRK

Oh, sorry. My excitement must be clouding my ability to judge comedic hyperbole.

LORELAI

So where'd you get the cat?

KIRK

A lady had a bunch of them at the grocery store and Kirk seemed to take an instant liking to me.

LORELAI

Kirk?

KIRK

Yes?

LORELAI

No, I mean, the cat's name is Kirk?

KIRK

Yup.

LORELAI

Weird coincidence or...

KIRK

I named him Kirk.

LORELAI

Isn't that confusing?

KIRK

Not when you think about it.

LORELAI

No, it's still confusing.

KIRK

I like the name, and whenever I call Kirk's name, I obviously won't be calling myself.

LORELAI

True.

KIRK

Although when my mom calls for Kirk, that may be confusing. Maybe I can get her to say CatKirk when she's calling Kirk, and HumanKirk when she's calling me.

RORY

That would keep it straight.

KIRK

I'm glad I ran into you. See ya.

LORELAI

See ya, HumanKirk.

RORY

Bye HumanKirk.

RORY

He's always been a cat person, he's just never had a cat.

LORELAI

Hm.

LORELAI

Hey. Anywhere?

LUKE

Anywhere.

LORELAI

[to customer at table] Hm, would you mind moving?

LUKE

I hate when you do that.

LORELAI

It's my showstopper.

LUKE

An empty table.

LORELAI

Ah. You ready to order?

RORY

I'm ready.

LUKE

Don't bother, saw you coming, already ordered your Wednesday usual – the French dip, extra fries, the every-Wednesday cherry pie.

RORY

Such service.

LORELAI

Oh, and such a food rut we're in.

RORY

Thank you, Luke.

LUKE

I gotta get back to stuffing my turkey.

LORELAI

Oh, honey, do you have time to do that and prep your Thanksgiving food?

LUKE

Stop it.

RORY

Here, here.

LUKE

It's a tedious job.

LORELAI

Well, what if we told you you could stuff one less?

LUKE

What do you mean?

LORELAI

We got jammed. Shanghaied by my mother and what with the other things we have going... well, too many commitments, not enough us.

LUKE

So?

RORY

We can't make it tomorrow.

LUKE

Oh, okay, fine.

LORELAI

It was beyond our control.

LUKE

That's fine, whatever. I'll be right back. [walks away]

LORELAI

Um, okay, I may be crazy, but he almost looked... .

RORY

Disappointed.

LORELAI

Yes, disappointed. We disappointed Luke.

RORY

I didn't think it was possible.

LORELAI

Our powers are greater than we know.

RORY

He actually likes it when we come for Thanksgiving. All these years and we never knew.

LORELAI

Hm, he's the Grinch and we're Cindy Lou Who.

RORY

So Cindy Lou, what do we do?

LORELAI

I got it.

LORELAI

[on phone] Oh, uh, perfect. That works great. Okay, bye now. [hangs up] Sorry, I'm just clarifying the schedule for tomorrow. As luck has it, we can make it. We'll definitely be here.

LUKE

It's okay.

LORELAI

No, it's all cleared. That was my mom, and, uh, the time's just gonna work out just fine.

LUKE

Really, you don't have to. I already stopped prepping the last turkey.

LORELAI

Well, start prepping it again 'cause we are coming.

LUKE

I don't want you to feel like you have to come.

LORELAI

This is tiring.

RORY

I can kneel behind him and you can push him over.

LORELAI

It may come to that.

LUKE

It won't be a hassle?

LORELAI

It won't be a hassle.

LUKE

You sure?

LORELAI

We're coming, now go away and let us eat. Shoo, shoo.

RORY

That was very nice.

LORELAI

Well, I hate disappointing people.

RORY

Okay, now, practical question... how are we going to eat four Thanksgiving dinners?

LORELAI

How? Rory, what are we if not world champion eaters?

RORY

It's too much food.

LORELAI

It's not too much food. This is what we've been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny. This is our finest hour.

RORY

Or final hour.

LORELAI

No, no. Get inspired and tomorrow I guarantee you, we will be standing on the Olympic platform receiving our gold medals for eating. We are not Michelle Kwan-ing this.

RORY

Okay, okay, four dinners.

LORELAI

Yeah, we'll skip the rolls.

RORY

That'll help. You know, we might wanna consider not eating much now in preparation for our finest hour. A little fasting so that we can enjoy more tomorrow, hm?

LORELAI

Unnecessary.

RORY

Yeah.

RORY

What's on the list?

LORELAI

Flowers for everyone we're visiting and cranberry sauce for the Kims.

RORY

Tums.

LORELAI

You mean amateur pills?

RORY

Just in case.

LORELAI

Okay, Tums.

RORY

I'll do the flowers.

LORELAI

I'll do Doose's.

RORY

Thank you.

JESS

Hey there.

RORY

Hey. [he kisses her, but Rory pulls away] Wait, stop.

JESS

What?

RORY

Stop.

JESS

What are you doing?

RORY

Come on. [Rory pulls him down the sidewalk a little, then kisses him]

JESS

What was that?

RORY

That was a kiss.

JESS

What's with the relocation before the kiss?

RORY

It's too early.

JESS

Too early? Too early for what?

RORY

For kissing like that.

JESS

What's the rule, no kissing before noon?

RORY

No, it's too early to do this here.

JESS

Where, in the street?

RORY

In the street, with people watching...

JESS

What people?

RORY

In front of Doose's.

JESS

Ah, Doose's.

RORY

We shouldn't flaunt it.

JESS

But I want to flaunt it.

RORY

It doesn't feel right.

JESS

He's a big boy Rory.

RORY

I know.

JESS

It's not the first time a couple's broken up.

RORY

It is for us.

JESS

This is insane.

RORY

Please, let's not flaunt it, please?

JESS

For how long?

RORY

Until it's comfortable.

JESS

Before we're on Social Security?

RORY

I promise, we can kiss secretly.

JESS

Yeah, or we can wear Three Stooges masks all the time, that way no one will know who we are.

RORY

I can be Curly.

JESS

I'll be Moe.

RORY

Probably too silly.

JESS

Yeah, probably.

RORY

This will get better over time, I promise. But until then, let's just play it cool.

JESS

Hey, I'm Frank at the Sands.

RORY

That's cool.

LORELAI

Oh, hey, Kirk. Doing your holiday shopping?

KIRK

Well, shopping, yes, and it is a holiday, but my shopping isn't holiday related, so technically no.

LORELAI

Oh, what happened there?

KIRK

Oh, nothing, just a little scratch.

LORELAI

Looks like a big scratch. Wow, Bactine, Neosporin, Mercurochrome – what's with all the pharmacologicals?

KIRK

Oh, well, Kirk and I are going through a little adjustment period, that's all.

LORELAI

CatKirk?

KIRK

It's no biggie, and this looks a lot worse than it is.

LORELAI

Yeah, I can see that. So how'd it happen? Were you playing or something?

KIRK

We haven't actually played yet. This happened when I accidentally walked into the room without announcing myself.

LORELAI

Excuse me?

KIRK

I've discovered Kirk likes my presence announced before I enter any room that he's in.

LORELAI

You have to announce yourself?

KIRK

Yeah, just a quick, 'Is it okay if I come in?' from the adjacent room. Otherwise, he gets a little testy.

LORELAI

Hence the scratch.

KIRK

It's just a small laceration. Again, no biggie.

LORELAI

Kirk, he got your neck!

KIRK

That was another mistake of mine. I put his food bowl down in front of him. He doesn't like that. Or she doesn't.

LORELAI

She? I thought Kirk was a boy.

KIRK

That was just a guess. He actually hasn't exposed his underside to me yet. Or hers.

LORELAI

Well, here's hoping your cat exposes itself to you soon.

KIRK

From your mouth to God's ears. See ya.

LORELAI

See ya.

LORELAI

Hi there.

DEAN

Hi.

LORELAI

So you pulled the Thanksgiving shift, huh?

DEAN

Yeah, I get time and a half.

LORELAI

Well, good, good. It's good to see you.

DEAN

Same here. Um, so, I gotta work.

LORELAI

Right, right. That Taylor's a dictator.

DEAN

Yeah.

LORELAI

Dean, wait. Um, look, we live in a teeny tiny little hamlet here. I mean, stick it in an envelope and we could mail the whole town for a buck-forty. It makes avoiding people tough and uncomfortable.

DEAN

I know.

LORELAI

I hate hiding from people, especially when I don't wanna hide from them. You were a pal. You were so good to Rory. You were the best first boyfriend a mother could've hoped for.

DEAN

Thanks.

LORELAI

It's okay to keep avoiding me if you want. I just wanted you to know that you don't need to, okay? Just because you and Rory broke up doesn't mean we did.

DEAN

Good. That's good to hear.

LORELAI

Well, Happy Thanksgiving.

DEAN

Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving.

LORELAI

Aw, pretty!

RORY

Yeah, good selection today. You get everything?

LORELAI

And then some. Look.

RORY

Chocolate turkeys, nice!

LORELAI

I think they'll add a festive air.

RORY

Definitely. So, was he in there?

LORELAI

Yeah, he was.

RORY

Good, good. I hope he's good. Did he seem good?

LORELAI

He seemed good. He's getting time and a half.

RORY

Good, good.

LORELAI

So, let's go eat.

RORY

And eat and eat.

LORELAI

And eat and eat and eat.

RORY

And eat and eat and eat and eat...

LORELAI

And eat and eat and eat and eat...

RORY

And eat some more.

LORELAI

And eat and eat.

MRS. KIM

Ah, the Gilmores. Happy Thanksgiving.

LORELAI

Happy Thanksgiving.

RORY

Happy Thanksgiving.

MRS. KIM

Come in.

LORELAI

She's in a good mood this year.

RORY

Downright chipper.

LORELAI

So, um, Mrs. Kim, we, uh, we brought gifts.

RORY

Flowers.

LORELAI

And cranberry sauce, our little Thanksgiving tradition.

MRS. KIM

Thank you, can never have too much.

RORY

That's what we say.

LORELAI

Plus, a chocolate turkey.

MRS. KIM

What should I do with this?

LORELAI

Oh, I don't know, let the kids share it.

MRS. KIM

And then send a blank check to their dentist?

LORELAI

They don't have to eat it, they can play with it.

MRS. KIM

Play with chocolate? It's missing its head.

LORELAI

Ooh, that one's ours. Here, this one has a head. There ya go.

MRS. KIM

Okay. [walks away]

LORELAI

My arms are too short to box with Mrs. Kim.

RORY

The singing's already begun.

LORELAI

Mm. Who's that playing guitar? He looks familiar.

RORY

Oh my God, that's Lane's Dave.

LORELAI

Oh, yeah, it is. He's all neat and tidy.

RORY

He's gone corporate.

LORELAI

He's gone Korean.

LANE

Oh, hey, hi.

RORY

Hey yourself. Hey, how'd you get your mom to let you –

LANE

Come on, girls, let's get you some punch. [leads them to the other room]

RORY

What's going on?

LANE

That is not Dave Rygalski.

LORELAI

Oh, intrigue.

RORY

Who is it?

LANE

I mean, not the one that I'm in a band with. That is Dave Rygalski, local Christian guitar player that my mom and I met very briefly and innocently at the dance marathon, and that I coincidentally ran across again when I found his ad seeking Christian guitar accompaniment gigs up on our church bulletin board.

LORELAI

Complicated.

LANE

I even put the fake ad up at church and pretended to find it with my mom next to me.

RORY

You're good.

LORELAI

So, are you guys dating?

LANE

We're laying the groundwork. If she gets to know him before we date and she approves of him, we won't have to hide anything.

LORELAI

Right, except how you met.

RORY

And who he really is.

LANE

But other than that, it's completely fib-free. Shh, shh!

MRS. KIM

Watch it. You break it, you buy it. Ten percent off for cousins, twenty percent off for nephews and nieces.

LORELAI

Yung Kwan, good to see you. Hee Kim, hi. Oh, I love your hair. Su Nam, hi. Hi. Ho Kyung, Wan Kyu, great to see you, hi. Oh, Mrs. Kim, just a beautiful table, as always.

MRS. KIM

Try the tofurkey. Turkey made from tofu.

RORY

Oh, we definitely will.

LORELAI

Mm.

MRS. KIM

And meet the guitar player. Nice young man, big fan of tofurkey. David?

DAVE

Yes.

MRS. KIM

This is Rory Gilmore and Mrs. Gilmore.

LORELAI

Hi, nice to meet you.

DAVE

Oh, same here.

RORY

I think I've seen you around town.

DAVE

Yeah, that might be a possibility. Happy Thanksgiving.

LORELAI

Same to you.

MRS. KIM

Hymn 17 please.

DAVE

Yes, ma'am.

LORELAI

Wow, he seems like a very upright young man.

MRS. KIM

Not a bad sight-reader either. [walks away]

RORY

You're taking tofurkey?

LORELAI

Uh huh, and some extra napkins to slip the tofurkey into when no one is looking and then toss them away.

RORY

Very smart.

LANE

Um, Mama, just a thought, but maybe we can take a break from the hymns while we eat?

MRS. KIM

No break, he's paid to play. We can quit singing for now, but he should play soft in the background, okay?

DAVE

Yeah. Yes, ma'am.

RORY

The best laid plans.

LORELAI

Tell me about it.

RORY

How do you feel?

LORELAI

I ate tofurkey. How do you think I feel?

RORY

Tofurkier.

LORELAI

Drat that Mrs. Kim for not taking her eyes off me the whole time... it's like she was anticipating my napkin maneuver.

LORELAI

Hi hon!

RORY

Happy Thanksgiving.

SOOKIE

Ah, thank you. Thank God, civilization has arrived.

LORELAI

What's wrong?

SOOKIE

What's wrong? Uh, do you not see what's going on here?

LORELAI

What's that?

SOOKIE

That is a vat of boiling oil.

LORELAI

Really? Where's Quasimodo?

SOOKIE

This is not a joking matter.

RORY

What is the oil for?

LORELAI

For pouring on visigoths.

SOOKIE

Lorelai!

LORELAI

When else am I gonna get to use my visigoth material?

RORY

What's the oil for?

SOOKIE

The turkey. My beautiful, expensive, organically grown turkey.

LORELAI

I don't get it.

SOOKIE

A couple of days ago, Jackson asked me if he could cook the turkey. I thought he was gonna roast it, stick a couple of onions around it, something simple. So I said yes, figuring that the minute he put it in the oven and leaves the kitchen, I can sneak in and give it a nice herb-bitter rub and stuff it with a pancetta-chestnut stuffing.

LORELAI

Sure, 'cause he'd never notice that.

SOOKIE

Exactly. Then the propane tank arrived, and the industrial burner, and the fifteen gallons of peanut oil. Then he springs it on me – 'I'm gonna deep-fry a turkey."

LORELAI

Deep-fried turkey.

RORY

Interesting.

SOOKIE

I tried to talk him out of it, but I'd already promised and now he's excited about it.

GUY 1

Hey, what's keeping Jackson? Is he on the pot or something?

SOOKIE

Lots of precious memories in the making here.

GUY 1

Hey Jackson, get your butt out here with that gobbler!

SOOKIE

A gobbler.

RORY

Maybe it won't be that bad.

LORELAI

Yeah, deep-frying's kind of in now.

SOOKIE

I don't care. You don't deep-fry turkey. Uh, filet of fish, yes. A batch of fries, yes. A donut, yes. Not turkey.

GUY 1

Come on, let's get going!

GUY 2

Yeah, we're hungry!

EVERYONE

Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson...

JACKSON

Did someone say... Jackson?

LORELAI

Wow, it's like Thunderdome in here.

SOOKIE

He should've just driven it out on a monster truck. He's shamelessly catering to his demographic.

JACKSON

Are you ready?

SOOKIE

Oh my God, I can't look.

EVERYONE

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...

SOOKIE

Oh my God, they're counting down.

EVERYONE

... five, four, three, two, one!

LORELAI

It's in the vat.

SOOKIE

It's like a death in the family.

LORELAI

Look at the bright side, Sookie. At least this took your mind off the dinner at the inn.

SOOKIE

Oh my God, the inn. What if Bob decides to do something equally awful to the turkey at the inn? I have to call him.

JACKSON

Oh, hey guys.

LORELAI

Hey.

JACKSON

Neat, huh? And it only takes forty minutes.

LORELAI

Cool.

JACKSON

How ya doing, hon?

SOOKIE

Oh, fine, Sweets. [Lorelai hands her a beer] And keep 'em coming.

LORELAI

Hey everybody.

BABETTE

Oh, hey there dollfaces. Happy Thanksgiving.

MOREY

Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving.

RORY

Hey. [hands Luke a bouquet of flowers]

LUKE

What's this?

RORY

Flowers.

LUKE

What do I do with them?

LORELAI

Ugh, not this again.

RORY

Put them in a vase with water.

LUKE

I don't have a vase.

LORELAI

You do this every year.

LUKE

I don't have vases.

LORELAI

Buy a vase.

LUKE

But I don't need a vase 'cause I never have flowers.

LORELAI

Except when we bring you flowers every year on Thanksgiving. Buy a vase.

LUKE

Stop bringing me flowers.

LORELAI

Stop bringing me flowers. I knew you were gonna say that because you say the same thing. We have this same exact conversation every year.

LUKE

And every year you point that out.

LORELAI

And every year you point that out.

LUKE

And every year you point that out.

RORY

And then every year we put the flowers on the counter and forget the ugliness ever happened.

LORELAI

Well, at least we have a tradition.

LUKE

Good. I'll be right back. That's our table over there.

LORELAI

Hey Kirk. Oh my God!

RORY

What happened?

KIRK

I'm scratched over sixty percent of my body.

LORELAI

Aw, CatKirk again?

KIRK

Ow.

LORELAI

Sorry.

BABETTE

I'm so mad at that cat.

MOREY

Very uncool cat.

BABETTE

I love cats, but I love Kirk, too. It's pretty much fifty-fifty, and that's a high compliment, my friend.

LORELAI

How did this happen?

KIRK

Well, the tension of our standoff was unbearable, so I got on the floor and tried to play with him.

LORELAI

It's a him?

KIRK

I caught a peek.

LORELAI

Go on.

KIRK

I rolled this cute little ball of yarn over to him all nice and gentle. He tried to garrote me with it.

LORELAI

Oh my God.

MOREY

Very uncool.

KIRK

Just grabbed two ends with his paws and came at me.

RORY

But he doesn't have opposable thumbs.

KIRK

He's beyond them. And he's smart. He knows things, sometimes before they happen.

LORELAI

Get a hold of yourself, man.

KIRK

You haven't heard the worst.

RORY

Oh geez, there's worse?

KIRK

When the attacks got particularly brutal, I had no choice but to strip naked and hide under water in the bathtub. I read that cats are afraid of water.

BABETTE

They are, they are.

KIRK

Kirk isn't. He found me, and he seemed to derive greater power from the water. That's when the bulk of the scratching happened.

LORELAI

Well, then, I think it's good you're giving Kirk a little space right now. Just relax and enjoy your food.

KIRK

I can't taste my food.

LORELAI

Well, then, just try to relax.

KIRK

Thanks.

JESS

Hey.

RORY

Hey. [they kiss]

JESS

Hi.

LORELAI

Hi, Happy Thanksgiving. So, are you joining us?

JESS

Uh, sure, if that's okay.

LORELAI

Yeah, sit, sit.

JESS

God, I'm starved.

LUKE

You could've eaten.

JESS

You kept telling me not to eat.

LUKE

I did not.

JESS

You did, too. You said you were waiting for them.

LORELAI

Aw, you didn't have to wait for us.

LUKE

I wasn't waiting for you, it just worked out this way.

JESS

Right.

RORY

Looks great.

LORELAI

Tasty.

LUKE

Shouldn't we give thanks first?

JESS

Thanks for what?

LUKE

Well, that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for smallpox infested blankets.

LORELAI

Amen.

LUKE

So where you guys in your day?

RORY

We hit the Kim's, we hit Sookie's, and we go to the grandparents from here.

LORELAI

Full day.

LUKE

Yeah. Well, you can skip eating this one if you want. Just have cokes or something, it's no big deal.

LORELAI

No, no way, you're the main event today, my friend.

LUKE

Oh, good.

RORY

What's good are the yams.

LORELAI

Definitely. Got some more marshmallows?

LUKE

Yeah, I can grab some. Hey, refill some coffees. [Luke and Jess walk away]

LORELAI

So, no offense, but lame-o kiss.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

You and Jess, like a couple chickens pecking at each other.

RORY

Mind your own business.

LORELAI

Well, it was right in front of me.

RORY

So, I don't need a review.

LORELAI

Sorry.

RORY

I'm just not good with the public displays.

LORELAI

You didn't have that problem with Dean.

RORY

I know, but now I just feel like everybody's watching me.

LORELAI

People are not watching you.

RORY

You were watching me.

LORELAI

I created you. It's biologically predetermined that I watch you.

RORY

I just don't know how this whole second boyfriend thing is supposed to go.

LORELAI

Well, he's your first second boyfriend. Give it time.

RORY

The whole town got used to me with Dean, it's just weird.

LORELAI

It'll get easier. You're gonna have hundreds of men in your life.

RORY

Gee, thanks.

LORELAI

Well, maybe not hundreds, but a couple, three, more. It'll get easier.

RORY

I guess.

LORELAI

Honey, they'll adjust to seeing you with Jess.

RORY

And then there's Dean. What do I do about him?

LORELAI

Well, you know, he'll be moving on, too.

RORY

Oh, right, of course he will, yeah.

BABETTE

Well, we're outta here.

MOREY

Time to walk some of this off.

BABETTE

Oh, we'd have to walk to China to walk all of it off. Which way's China?

LORELAI

Thataway. Have a good night.

BABETTE

Thanks. By the way, that was some half-assed kiss you two had. You gotta give it a little something, honey.

LORELAI

Bye Babette. Bye Morey.

BABETTE

Bye.

RORY

The whole town is watching.

RORY

You ready for this?

LORELAI

Of course.

RORY

Even with the Cold War?

LORELAI

That's been going on for thirty-four years? I can manage.

RORY

It's been a bit colder these past few weeks.

LORELAI

Oh no, I'm fine, you know why? Because in two hours – and I do plan on extricating us from here in exactly two hours – the night will be over and I won't have to see them again until next year. Oh, start your stopwatch.

EMILY

Hello.

RORY

Hi Grandma. Happy Thanksgiving.

EMILY

Thank you, Rory. Happy Thanksgiving, Lorelai.

LORELAI

Happy Thanksgiving. [mumbles to Rory] One hour, fifty-nine minutes, and forty seconds.

LORELAI

Oh, wow, it's a piano player.

EMILY

That's Brad. I found him at Nordstrom's.

LORELAI

Was he on sale?

EMILY

I thought a little background music would add a nice touch. He knows every song ever written.

LORELAI

Free Bird! Hi Brad.

EMILY

Lorelai, please. Now come along, everyone's here. [they walk to living room] We're all here.

RICHARD

Oh, good. Happy Thanksgiving, Rory.

RORY

Happy Thanksgiving, Grandpa.

RICHARD

Lorelai.

LORELAI

Dad.

RICHARD

These are our guests, Natalie and Douglas Swope.

EMILY

You two have met.

LORELAI

Yes, at the auction.

NATALIE

Good to see you again.

LORELAI

Yes.

DOUGLAS

Nice to meet you.

LORELAI

Yes, you, too.

RORY

Same here.

RICHARD

And this is our international contingent, Claude and Monique Clemenceau. They're just in from France.

LORELAI

Ah, Clemenceau, huh, I'd have guessed Spain.

CLAUDE

Hello, how are you? [kisses Lorelai's hand]

LORELAI

Oh, ooh.

MONIQUE

Hello.

RICHARD

Monique, voici ma fille et ma petite fille.

MONIQUE

Ah. Elle sont si jolies.

CLAUDE

My Monique speaks only French, so please excuse the inconvenience.

LORELAI

Oh, no, that's fine. I love French.

CLAUDE

She really wants to learn English, perhaps tonight will inspire her. [to Monique] Je leur ai dit que tu voulais à prendre l'anglais.

MONIQUE

L'anglais, oui, je veux à prendre, mais je suis tellement parasseuse.

RICHARD

Ah, ça prends de temps, Monique. Ah, t'en fais pas.

MONIQUE

Merci.

RICHARD

Oh, no no no. That's why I love it when the Clemenceaus visit. It gives me the opportunity to haul out my rusty French.

CLAUDE

Your French is wonderful, Richard. It always has been.

RICHARD

Aw, non, tu es tres gentil. Please, sit, sit, sit.

CLAUDE

Merci. So, Rory, you speak French at all?

RORY

Just a tiny little bit.

CLAUDE

Un tout petite peu?

RORY

Oui, un tout petite peu.

CLAUDE

And you, my dear?

LORELAI

Even less. Uh, voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir? That's about it.

RICHARD

Lorelai.

EMILY

Oh my God.

LORELAI

It's just a joke.

RICHARD

Asking my friend to go to bed with you is a joke?

RORY

It's a song.

LORELAI

It's just a joke, Dad.

CLAUDE

Oh, voici c'est un chanson du pop. It's a pop song, ah, Monique... I did not know that.

MONIQUE

Lady Marmalade.

CLAUDE

It's very rich. It's very, very funny.

LORELAI

Oh, well, thank you.

CLAUDE

You need a drink, oui?

LORELAI

Very astute, Claude. Martini with a twist, Dad.

RICHARD

All right.

DOUGLAS

Is this your first American Thanksgiving, Claude?

CLAUDE

It is, it is. I've seen it in the movies. People seem to eat and eat and eat until they can't eat anymore.

LORELAI

That's about it.

NATALIE

It's about giving thanks, gets you thinking about the good things.

DOUGLAS

We have a lot to give thanks for in this country.

EMILY

Definitely.

CLAUDE

Me, I start each day giving thanks for three things – Cuban cigars, French champagne, and gorgeous women. And I must give extra thanks for the extraordinary group here tonight.

LORELAI

Douglas, Richard, leave us, won't you?

RICHARD

What?

EMILY

Just another joke.

CLAUDE

Oh, I missed another joke?

NATALIE

You have your mother's wit.

EMILY

Sometimes I wish she'd give it back.

DOUGLAS

Emily mentioned that you were coming from another function?

CLAUDE

No, this is your second dinner?

RORY

Fourth, actually.

NATALIE

Fourth?

RICHARD

Oh, thank you for fitting us in, Lorelai.

LORELAI

Don't worry, Dad. You're the main event. [to Rory] An hour and fifty six minutes.

NATALIE

Beautiful table, Emily. You've outdone yourself yet again.

EMILY

Oh, it's nothing.

RICHARD

Well, is everyone settled? Is everyone comfy?

EVERYONE

Yes.

LORELAI

Yes, Dad, we're fine.

RICHARD

Well, then, let's get going.

NATALIE

Gorgeous.

DOUGLAS

Oh, wonderful.

CLAUDE

Is it for us or the whole neighborhood?

NATALIE

Very nice.

LORELAI

Oh, ho, who gets the big piece?

RICHARD

I'm sorry?

LORELAI

Aren't you supposed to keep carving?

RICHARD

That was strictly ceremonial.

LORELAI

Ceremonial?

EMILY

Ceremonial.

CLAUDE

Cérémonial.

MONIQUE

Cérémonial.

EMILY

Please, start on the salads everyone.

LORELAI

Is there anything ceremonial about the salads? Do we carve a crouton, then have them taken away?

EMILY

No, no ceremony.

RORY

Salad's great, Grandma.

EMILY

I'm surprised you can eat at this point, even salad.

RORY

There's still room.

LORELAI

And if there isn't room, we'll add on. I know a good contractor.

CLAUDE

She's like your Jerry Lewis. She's very, very funny.

NATALIE

Rory, did your grandmother say you were a high school senior?

RORY

Mmhmm.

NATALIE

So you're going through this horrible period of applying to college.

RORY

It's not so horrible.

RICHARD

She's got it pretty well covered.

LORELAI

That's right.

NATALIE

All your applications are in?

RORY

I've applied.

DOUGLAS

We have a grandson your age, he's going through hell.

NATALIE

He's already been turned down for early admission to Stanford, his dream.

DOUGLAS

Took it pretty hard.

NATALIE

Children put so much stress on themselves these days.

RORY

It's pretty stressful.

NATALIE

He's waiting to hear from his backups.

CLAUDE

I have a grandson who lives with his mother in Orlando, you know, he's going through a very similar thing, poor boy.

EMILY

How do they like Orlando, Claude?

CLAUDE

Well, it's all Mickey Mouse this and Mickey Mouse that, you know. They want to die.

EMILY

That's too bad.

NATALIE

Where did you apply, dear?

RORY

Harvard.

DOUGLAS

No word yet?

RORY

I'm not supposed to hear back for awhile.

DOUGLAS

Where else?

RORY

Where else?

DOUGLAS

Where else did you apply? Your alternates?

NATALIE

We're so curious, it's like we've been going through this ourselves.

RORY

Well, I'm pretty much counting on Harvard.

DOUGLAS

Well, you didn't apply to just Harvard, did you?

RORY

Well, no.

LORELAI

No?

NATALIE

Am I prying?

RORY

No.

LORELAI

We applied elsewhere?

DOUGLAS

You can't just apply to one place.

NATALIE

Chilton wouldn't allow that.

LORELAI

Is that true?

RORY

Pretty much.

LORELAI

Why didn't you tell me that?

RORY

I was going to.

NATALIE

You have to be safe.

CLAUDE

My grandson – six schools.

DOUGLAS

Same with Dustin.

LORELAI

Where else did you apply?

RORY

Just at some other schools.

DOUGLAS

Well, if you're aiming at Harvard, that would be Princeton, Yale, maybe Vassar, Wesleyan.

CLAUDE

Certainly Yale because of Richard's connections, yes?

NATALIE

I would assume so.

RORY

Those are the kinds of places, yup.

LORELAI

The kinds of places or the places? Rory?

RORY

Princeton... um, Yale.

LORELAI

Yale?

RICHARD

Yes?

LORELAI

Yale, Dad?

RICHARD

Oh, this is the first I'm hearing about it, Lorelai.

LORELAI

Oh, bull.

RORY

Mom.

EMILY

Lorelai.

LORELAI

You did this.

RICHARD

I haven't discussed this awful subject since the debacle at the campus.

LORELAI

You forced her hand.

RICHARD

I did nothing of the sort.

RORY

Mom, wait.

LORELAI

You made it seem like you'd be deeply hurt if she didn't apply to Yale, and she's very sensitive, so that's as good as forcing her hand.

EMILY

Lorelai, really.

LORELAI

You wanted her to go to Yale instead of Harvard, didn't you?

RICHARD

Well, that wasn't a secret.

CLAUDE

Lorelai ne veut pas que Rory aille à Yale.

RICHARD

Je suis désolé de ce qui ce passe ici.

LORELAI

Stick to English, Dad.

RORY

Grandpa didn't force my hand.

LORELAI

Honey, you weren't aware he was doing it.

RICHARD

She is not a puppet, Lorelai.

RORY

I needed a backup.

LORELAI

But why Yale?

RORY

I could live at home.

LORELAI

You.

EMILY

What?

LORELAI

Well, you got to her. That was your thing.

NATALIE

I'm afraid we started this.

EMILY

This is not your doing, Natalie.

RICHARD

Encore une fois, je suis désolé.

EMILY

I never spoke to Rory about that.

LORELAI

I don't believe you.

RORY

I figured it out on my own, Mom.

LORELAI

You're saying there have been no conversations, no emails?

RORY

I can read a map.

LORELAI

This is unbelievable.

RICHARD

And past indelicate. We have guests.

LORELAI

Yes, I'm sorry, I apologize, I'm sorry you have to see this.

EMILY

This is paranoia, Lorelai. There's been no conspiring.

LORELAI

I'm not being paranoid, Mom. For seventeen years, she was going to Harvard, and now all of a sudden, she's applied to Yale and she's mimicking everything you say. This is just crazy. [leaves the room]

CLAUDE

Elle a dit que, 'c'est de la folie.'

EMILY

Excuse me, please.

EMILY

It's freezing out here.

LORELAI

It's Jamaica compared to in there.

EMILY

It's just an alternative to Harvard, a backup. It changes nothing.

LORELAI

No, no.

EMILY

Lorelai.

LORELAI

Mom, I don't wanna talk.

EMILY

Do you believe we had nothing to do with this?

LORELAI

Just for a second, Mom, please. Just let me digest this for a second. All this Yale stuff... agh!

EMILY

You can't even let Rory have one piece of our lives, even if it's her choice. You hate us that much.

MRS. KIM

Goodbye, drive safe.

GUEST

Thank you. [leaves]

LANE

Excellent Thanksgiving, Mama.

MRS. KIM

I think people had fun.

LANE

And it was nice of you to only charge half price on the chair that Yung Hee broke.

MRS. KIM

That was my cost.

LANE

That why it was nice.

DAVE

Well, I guess I'll be going.

MRS. KIM

All right. You did a good job. Thank you for your time, David.

DAVE

Oh, you're welcome, Mrs. Kim. I enjoyed it.

LANE

Yes, thank you.

DAVE

You're welcome.

MRS. KIM

Here. Some rice, spinach, lots of tofurkey.

DAVE

Great, thanks.

MRS. KIM

And something for your time.

DAVE

That's very nice, thank you. Happy Thanksgiving.

MRS. KIM

Goodbye.

MRS. KIM

Keep clearing. I'm going to start on the kitchen.

LANE

Okay. Oh, Mama, look. Dave's bible. He forgot it. He's gonna need this, too. I'll run it out to him.

MRS. KIM

Wait.

LANE

We're gonna miss him.

MRS. KIM

Let me see that. [takes the bible and reads the inside cover] 'This bible belongs to God, but is being used by Dave Rygalski.' [hands the bible back to Lane] Go on.

DAVE

Wow, you run really quiet.

LANE

Sorry, I'm sorry about everything.

DAVE

What?

LANE

The whole night. I had no idea she'd make you play five straight hours without a break.

DAVE

It's okay.

LANE

Your hands must be dead.

DAVE

They're just a little numb. But I've got these Kurt Cobain calluses now, how cool is that?

LANE

But this whole thing, this whole charade, the fake flier and everything, it was too much.

DAVE

Lane, it's fine. And that flier – I've gotten like three other calls for paying gigs. I should be paying you a commission.

LANE

Oh, that's not necessary.

DAVE

And check it out – twenty bucks.

LANE

Wow, she liked you.

DAVE

We'll put it towards our first real date.

LANE

Really? After all this – the marathon hymns, the weak punch, the crabby Koreans, you still wanna go out on a date with me?

DAVE

I've gotta go... but I'm gonna call you tomorrow.

RORY

Are you mad?

LORELAI

No, I'm not mad.

RORY

You seem mad.

LORELAI

I'm not mad.

RORY

What are you feeling?

LORELAI

I wouldn't know how to word it.

RORY

Try.

LORELAI

See, my head knows that whichever one of these places you go, Harvard, Princeton, Yale... it's gonna be great. It's gonna be awesome, and you're gonna come out on the other side an even more amazing you. But I just wish my head could sit down and have a chat with that gnawing feeling in my gut that's there every time my parents get involved in anything and tell it, it's gonna be okay.

RORY

It's gonna be okay.

LORELAI

Nice try.

JACKSON

What else are we putting in the pot? Come on, let's think of something. Uh, a raspberry, a deep-fried raspberry. How 'bout a rasquat?

GUY

Cake!

JACKSON

Cake! Deep-fried cake!

GUY

Dibs on the deep-fried cake!

JACKSON

You haven't even eaten your deep-fried biscotti.

LORELAI

Hey, Sookie.

SOOKIE

Ah, hi there.

LORELAI

Are you okay?

SOOKIE

This tastes good.

LORELAI

Yeah, it looks like they're deep-frying –

SOOKIE

Everything.

LORELAI

Huh.

SOOKIE

Vegetables, mashed potatoes, butter, pickles, salt, a napkin.

RORY

And yet, you're very serene.

LORELAI

Uh, you're practically floating.

SOOKIE

Well, you caught me at a good time, ladies. I've already gone through the five stages of grieving. Denial, anger... I don't remember these two, but they were served on the rocks with salt! Now, I'm just happily enscotched in acceptance. Enscotched...

RORY

Ensconced?

SOOKIE

Ensconced – that's it! I do believe I heard Phil suggest throwing Junior in.

LORELAI

Junior?

SOOKIE

His nephew.

LORELAI

Whoa.

SOOKIE

I chimed in on that one.

LORELAI

What happened over there?

SOOKIE

Mm, about a half-hour ago they set the lawn on fire.

LORELAI

Ah.

SOOKIE

But Phil says it's okay and everything 'cause it'll grow back twice as lush. Though that's what he said when he broke my salad bowl that I brought back from Belgium. That'll maybe grow back, too, huh? [laughs] Phil is a riot. Am I crying or laughing?

LORELAI

Laughing.

SOOKIE

Good.

LORELAI

Who's that?

RORY

It's Lane. It just says 'bible kiss bible'.

LORELAI

What does that mean?

RORY

I have no idea. Good band name, though.

LORELAI

Honey, we should get going? You gonna be okay?

SOOKIE

I'm Sookie.

LORELAI

Yeah, I know, but you're gonna be okay, right? You'll go to bed soon.

SOOKIE

Unless they deep-fried it.

LORELAI

I'm sure they haven't. Okay, we'll see you tomorrow.

RORY

Poor thing.

LORELAI

Oh, she may not remember any of it.

JACKSON

Deep-fried shoe!

GUY

Deep-fried shoe!

JESS

Get more trash cans.

LUKE

I don't need more.

JESS

You make me run around town for a place to dump this.

LUKE

Just dump it in one of Taylor's bins. It gets it out of here and it'll drive Taylor crazy. It's a win-win.

LORELAI

Hi guys.

LUKE

We're out of food.

LORELAI

Oh, please, we're not eating for a year.

RORY

Or 'til tomorrow morning.

LORELAI

Whichever comes first. Hi Saint Nick.

JESS

Tell him he needs to get more trash cans.

LUKE

Just go.

LORELAI

You got any coffee?

LUKE

That I've got. Come on in. Hey, did I see flames coming from Sookie's place about a half-hour ago?

LORELAI

Yeah, why?

JESS

I still say you should get more tra...

RORY

Hi.

JESS

Hi.

RORY

Later.

DEAN

Nothing to say?

JESS

Guess not.

DEAN

That's funny, you usually have something to say.

JESS

Guess I'm all talked out.

DEAN

What's the matter, Jess? Why you walking away?

JESS

It's getting a little West Side Story here, Dean, and I gotta warn you, my dancing skills are not up to snuff.

DEAN

But now's your chance, there's no one else around.

JESS

Go home. Cool off.

DEAN

Come on, make one of your Boy Scout references, or a good Farmer John joke. I got my Doose's Market apron with me – you want me to put it on, give you a little inspiration? I don't get it, what happened – you suddenly like me now?

JESS

Oh yeah, I was just about to invite you camping.

DEAN

Good, okay, now we're getting somewhere.

JESS

I'm not gonna fight you, Dean.

DEAN

Why?

JESS

'Cause if I fight you, Rory's gonna think it's my fault, so just forget it, okay? Just forget it. Go home. Let it rest.

DEAN

So Rory's got a nice little hold on you now, huh?

JESS

Geez. Don't do that.

DEAN

How does it feel?

JESS

It feels like I'm with Rory and you're not.

DEAN

You know, when all this happened with you and me and Rory, I figured I'd just stay out of everyone's way, that that would be easiest. But now, I'm looking at you and I'm thinking, I'm gonna run from him? The Glad Man. This is my town, I'm not hiding. And I don't have be remotely calm around you anymore, and I like that feeling. I like it a lot. Happy Thanksgiving, Jess.

LUKE

So, how did the four dinners work out? You guys must feel more stuffed than you've ever been.

LORELAI

I don't know. Is this more stuffed than the great Six Flags hot dog consumption of '99?

RORY

No, or the taffy binge of '97.

LORELAI

Not by a long shot. See, we didn't eat at my parents because of the upset, so we really had three dinners, not four.

RORY

Which means...

LORELAI

What?

RORY

We didn't have to skip rolls.

LORELAI

Oh yeah. Hey, do you have any rolls left?

LUKE

No. Come on.

LORELAI

Just a little something for the walk home.

LUKE

I don't see how you do it.

LORELAI

Well, you're not us, are ya? Night Luke.

RORY

Night Luke.

LUKE

Night.

LORELAI

This has been a nice Thanksgiving.

RORY

Very.

LORELAI

Nicer for some than others though.

RORY

Yeah.

LORELAI

Night Kirk!

KIRK

Night.