T4E14: “The Incredible Sinking Lorelais”

LORELAI

Oh, I love them. [petting the horses' noses]

SOOKIE

Ooh, I love them, too. [also petting their noses]

LORELAI

With an unbridled passion. Good one, huh?

SOOKIE

I love horse humor. [giggles]

WOMAN

These guys are the best I've got 'cause they're so sweet.

LORELAI

Hey, Michel, come on over. Meet our two new employees.

MICHEL

[standing far away] You know that I do not care for the animal kingdom.

WOMAN

Do you want me to hold them for you? 'Cause I've got a couple of others interested.

LORELAI

Oh, yes, definitely hold them. [dials number on cell phone]

RORY'S VOICEMAIL MESSAGE

It's Rory, Talk please [beep]

LORELAI

Hi, Rory, it's me. How's school? You learning stuff? Listen, we have the horses, Desdemona and Cletus, and the first two rides have to be me and you. And hopefully, you're over the time that I took you for the pony ride, and the pony was old and just sort of stopped and laid down, and you sort of rolled off into the ditch. It's really not likely to happen again. I promise. So, call me, call me. [puts phone away as Tom walks by] Hey, Tom, how do you like our new horses?

TOM

Very fragrant. Follow me.

LORELAI

[to horse] He's very busy. Don't judge him too harshly.

TOM

Hey, guys, how's National Goof-off day going? That's what I thought. [Lorelai, Sookie and Michel join Tom] Now, we got downstairs hardware being delivered on Wednesday morning.

SOOKIE

Yippee. [clapping hands with glee]

TOM

Yeah, it excites me too. So, I think it would be exciting to have one of you here to see that it's the right stuff. Otherwise, things would come to a crashing halt.

LORELAI

Oh boy, I got back to back meetings on Wednesday, and one of them is in Hartford. Sook?

SOOKIE

I can be here. Oh no, I can't - Davey has a check up that morning.

LORELAI

Can you move it?

SOOKIE

This doctor's really booked. But I can try.

LORELAI

That's okay. Michel?

MICHEL

I'm at the Tally Rand making the money that keeps me from having to stand at expressway off-ramps selling bags of cherries.

LORELAI

Okay. Oh well, I guess I can move some things around. I don't...

LORELAI

What is that?

TOM

That's your phone.

SOOKIE

Who's phone? Our phone?

TOM

I installed it this morning. You wanted your phone up and running, right? To take reservations?

SOOKIE

Oh, my God. [clapping hands]

LORELAI

Our first reservation.

MICHEL

Quick, quick, answer before they hang up.

LORELAI

Hello?

SOOKIE

Dragonfly, Dragonfly.

MICHEL

Say Dragonfly Inn.

LORELAI

I mean, Dragonfly Iinn, hello. [pause] Why, yes! We are taking reservations. Our opening day is May 6th. [pause] May 8th and 9th, okay, great. Let me just check. Let me check. [pause] Okay. [She searches for a scrap of paper to write the information on. Unable to find anything else, she uses a gum wrapper.] You got it, and you're getting our best room. Let me just get your information here. Yes. Okay. And your number? Mm-hmm. 7873. Okay. Got your name. Got your number. Got you down for the 8th and 9th. Thank you, Mr. Turner. See you then. [hangs up] We're up and running.

SOOKIE

We're up and running!

MICHEL

But you wrote it down on a gum wrapper.

LORELAI

So?

MICHEL

It's embarrassing. This is an historical document.

SOOKIE

Who cares what she wrote it down on?

MICHEL

Big Red wrapper.

SOOKIE

Juicyfruit would have been better?

MICHEL

Well, I'm going to go out and get a value pack for when things really start getting busy around here.

RORY

Mom, it's me, I left you a message at home, too. I love that you got horses. As far as that pony ride when I was a kid, you were forgetting one little tidbit there. That pony did not lie down. He died, okay? He died. And then the owner dragged him away by the back legs. Every time I use glue, I think of him. But I'll watch you ride, how's that? Call me back, bye. [She stops before her dorm door and pulls out keys. Just then, Lane exits the room.]

LANE

What are you doing here?

RORY

I live here.

LANE

But you have game theory class in fifteen minutes.

RORY

I just thought I would lie down and rest for a while.

LANE

I knew it. You were up too late last night. I know I should have told you "lights out."

RORY

I had to finish my paper.

LANE

Your brain needs sleep.

RORY

It can sleep when I finish my paper.

LANE

And then there'll be another paper.

RORY

Mom -

LANE

You know what I mean.

RORY

You look out for me.

LANE

It's what I do. Okay, go lay down.

RORY

Yes, ma'am.

LANE

And stay off drugs. [Rory enters dorm room]

RORY

Whoa, what's that smell?

TANNA

It's the smoke from my soldering iron. I love it. I love burning things. I love the hot tip of my soldering iron as it liquefies metal and singes the wires -

RORY

Honey, how long you been doing that?

TANNA

[checks her watch] Three hours.

RORY

[She removes the iron from Tanna's hand.] Take a break.

PARIS

Oh, good, you're all here, so we can clear this up. I found this lying around, and it must belong to one of you because who else would have clothing here? I ask you. [She holds up a shirt with the name Kleebold across the back.] Anyone? Anyone?

JANET

Paris.

PARIS

Anyone? You know, maybe I misspoke. It may not be a shirt. Anyone lose a car cover? Anyone? Anyone?

JANET

Knock it off.

PARIS

I'm just trying to find a nice way to tell you that your behemoth boyfriend is getting a little too comfortable around here. And I speak for everyone.

RORY

Leave me out of this.

TANNA

Me too, please.

PARIS

I just don't want to walk into our bathroom and find him sitting on the john shooting up steroids.

JANET

He does not take steroids.

PARIS

You mean that unsightly girth is nature given? He must curse God nightly.

JANET

Enough!

PARIS

And the shirt -- stick a pole in it, and Cirque Du Soleil could start selling tickets.

RORY

He's big, Paris. She got it.

PARIS

And why does he have his name written on the back? So it's easy to check when he forgets it? Although if he checks it while he's wearing it, he'd have to look in a mirror, and then he'd probably think his name was Dlobeelk, and get confused all over again.

JANET

Bitter little woman.

PARIS

If he's gonna continue being an unwelcome guest in our place, I emphasize the word "our," keep him penned in your room.

JANET

Jealousy doesn't become you, Paris.

PARIS

What jealousy?

RORY

Break it up, guys.

JANET

Neither does makeup or a hairstyle.

PARIS

Can it, Blondie.

JANET

You drove your own boyfriend away, so you hate that anyone else has one.

PARIS

Oh please.

JANET

Yeah, why don't you go sit all alone in your room so you can start getting used to how the rest of your life's gonna be.

PARIS

I'm not alone.

JANET

Oh, really? Who do you have besides your poster of Noam Chomsky?

PARIS

Who do I have?

JANET

Yeah. [Paris begins to speak but falls silent.] That's what I thought. Very sad.

PARIS

I'm gonna grab Barbie's neck and squeeze until her expandable hair falls out and she's dead, dead, dead.

RORY

Are you staying in here, because I was gonna close my eyes for a little while. [sits down on bed]

PARIS

I should just tell her Asher Fleming's my man so she can compare her circa 1972 Lou Ferrigno with him.

RORY

Then tell her. Put this to rest.

PARIS

You know we're keeping it on the down low. It's easier this way. You're the only person that knows.

RORY

Then you're gonna have to swallow stuff like that and not let it get to you.

PARIS

He smells. That fat tub of hers smells.

RORY

Hey, did you keep your notes from when you took Major English Poets?

PARIS

I've got them somewhere.

RORY

Can I borrow them?

PARIS

Sure.

RORY

Great, 'cause that means I can skip a class this week. [lays down] Buys me two hours.

PARIS

I taught Asher that phrase, "on the down low." He called it delightful.

RORY

It's a delightful phrase. [settles deeper under bed covers]

PARIS

You know, maybe it's not Janet's boyfriend I can't be around. Maybe I just can't be around boys, because I have a man.

RORY

Yes, that's it. Resting now.

LORELAI

[from upstairs] Wait, wait.

LORELAI'S ANSWERING MACHINE

Hey, I've got nothing cute to say for my message. ...Oh, puppies. There, that's cute. Now leave yours.

RORY

[voice on phone speaker] Hello? Pick up, pick up, pick up.

LORELAI

[from upstairs] Wait, I'm here. Wait.

RORY

I'm running as we speak to not be late for my first official day as a full-fledged food-hall card swiper. That's right, I'm no longer a trainee. After one and a half hours of rigorous training, I am fully independent and in no need of supervision. Whoops, sorry. Just ran into somebody, and he's down.

LORELAI

[from upstairs] Wait, hold it. I'm coming.

RORY

I assume you're very proud of me. Talk to you later.

LORELAI

[running down stairs] Rory, I'm here. [answering machine clicks] Ohh. Of course, you had to be in a big hurry. [calls Rory back and gets voice mail]

RORY'S VOICE MAIL

It's Rory. Talk, please.

LORELAI

Hi. Yeah, of course I'm proud. Card swiping -- who knew you had it in you? Not I. I'm sorry I can't be there to witness this moment. It's certainly as big a moment as, oh, your first baby step and your first fall on your face, which came back to back. Hopefully, somebody's taking lots of pictures. Call my cell or call me at Jason's. We gotta stop meeting like this, hon. Bye.

GLENN

Hey, Rory, if you're gonna completely ignore me, I might as well go hang out with my ex-girlfriend. Same thing.

RORY

Oh, sorry, Glenn. [swipes his card through reader]

GLENN

Everyone is going to be sorry one day -- everyone. [walks off]

RORY

You really gotta stop watching "Taxi Driver," Glenn. [returns to studying - impatient student swipes her own card] Oh, did you want me to -- well, it works for me. [cell phone rings] Hello?

DEAN

Rory, hi, it's Dean.

RORY

Dean, hi.

DEAN

Bad time?

RORY

No. I just thought you would be my mom, but my mom doesn't speak in a resonant basso profundo.

DEAN

A what? [grinning]

RORY

I'm babbling.

DEAN

So I wanted to run something by you to see if it was okay.

RORY

Sure.

DEAN

You know the contractor, Tom?

RORY

Grumpy puss?

DEAN

That's him. He's offered me a job working on his crew. It's good pay. It's flexible hours.

RORY

Excellent.

DEAN

At the inn. Your mom's inn. Is that okay?

RORY

The Dragonfly?

DEAN

If it's not okay, I won't do it.

RORY

Why wouldn't it be okay?

DEAN

Well, it would occasionally put you and me around each other, and I didn't know how awkward that would be.

RORY

No. Dean, it's fine. It wouldn't be awkward at all.

DEAN

You're sure?

RORY

Tom knows quality when he sees it -- take the job.

DEAN

Good, I just didn't know where we stood after my wedding and all.

RORY

Oh.

DEAN

You guys didn't come.

RORY

Yeah, I'm so sorry about that.

DEAN

It was short notice.

RORY

And we got jammed on some things. But you got our gift?

DEAN

Yeah, Lindsay spins a salad in it every night.

RORY

That's weird, considering we got you a toaster.

DEAN

No, you didn't. [realizes she's kidding]

RORY

I'm joshing ya.

DEAN

So, I guess I'll take the job.

RORY

Are you still going to school, too?

DEAN

Part time, but everything's good. I've got a five-year plan.

RORY

Five years. Cool. I've got about the next two and a half hours planned, and then there's just darkness and possibly some dragons.

DEAN

Hey, I made the plunge. I got my own cellphone.

RORY

I thought you sounded a little cellphone-y.

DEAN

Lindsay and her mom got a good deal on a family plan, so I signed up.

RORY

It was time. You know, I don't even know your number anymore.

DEAN

I can give you this one.

RORY

Actually, I can just save it. You are officially part of my phone log.

DEAN

Good. [pause] Well, I'll let you go, and uh, I'll see you once in awhile.

RORY

Inevitability.

DEAN

And you'll have to tell me what that bass thing was that you said.

RORY

Something to look forward to.

DEAN

Bye.

RORY

Bye. [looks up to see long line of students needing their ID cards swiped] Come on. Come on! Step up, step up. Don't be mice.

LORELAI

No, we did pick a tile for the bedroom suite bathroom. I distinctly remember.

JASON

Uh-huh. Make it a semicolon before the clause about interest rates and keep reading.

LORELAI

Eight weeks ago, ten weeks ago?

JASON

No, it is okay to end a sentence with a preposition now. I read it in Safire's column.

LORELAI

I remember the guy, I don't remember the tile. I do remember the color, white.

JASON

Safire. He came up with nattering nabobs of negativism for Agnew.

LORELAI

No, I meant the tile was white, but the guy was, too.

JASON

Agnew was Nixon's vice president. You know we're getting a little off the subject. Can you just please keep reading?

LORELAI

Over 200 shades of white? I did not know that.

JASON

With sincerely yours, et cetera, forge my signature and get it out tonight.

LORELAI

We'll look at the samples again and that's okay.

JASON

I'll see you tomorrow, thank you.

LORELAI

Thank you. All right, bye-bye.

JASON

Okay, I am done. Uh, round two? [gets in bed]

LORELAI

Well, this is very romantic. I mean, I'm over here arguing about tile, and you're over there arguing about William Safire. Whatever happened to the cigarette after sex?

JASON

Oh no. Trust me, William Safire is much hotter. [They kiss.]

LORELAI

We're the all-business corporate couple.

JASON

Brought to you by Marriott.

LORELAI

I gotta get that.

JASON

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

LORELAI

I told Rory to call me here. Hello?

EMILY

Well, guess who's demanding we all make an appearance at lunch?

LORELAI

Mom!

EMILY

Your grandmother is coming back from Palm Beach.

LORELAI

Uh-huh. [She climbs out of bed and begins dressing.]

JASON

What are you doing?

EMILY

Your father has to run over to her house to open it up for her, and then she will be coming over here for the evening to berate me and tell me that my couch has some sort of smell.

LORELAI

Oh, well, that sounds fun.

EMILY

She wants to have lunch -- sorry, a luncheon -- the day after tomorrow. You, me, your father, and apparently she wants to meet Jason. All we need is that filthy Eminem fellow to make it a perfect afternoon for me.

LORELAI

Well, I'll try to track him down, Mom, but you know, he might be on tour or something.

EMILY

Just be here and be on time, and get your hair cut. You looked like the bird lady from Mary Poppins the last time I saw you.

LORELAI

Well, Mom, I've been very busy lately.

EMILY

I don't care how busy you've been, Lorelai. If your hair looks a mess, it will be my fault, and I don't need that responsibility right now. I'll see you at noon. [hangs up]

JASON

What are you doing?I

LORELAI

I'm getting undressed.

JASON

You were already undressed.

LORELAI

Well, my mother called.

JASON

So?

LORELAI

So, I can't talk to my mother naked.

JASON

How would she know?

LORELAI

She'd know. [gets into bed]

JASON

Is it like a super power? She can hear naked people?

LORELAI

Yes, she can. She can hear sin and depravity and all sorts of lustful things.

JASON

Boy, do I wish I could get bitten by that radioactive spider. [leans over and kisses her]

LORELAI

Please, please, please try to work me in. My hair is long and unmanageable, and I need that scalp-massaging thing that Cindy does after she washes my hair. It makes me think I'm in Tahiti.

SOOKIE

[rushes in excitedly] Hey! They put pipes in the kitchen. We're almost able to run water!

LORELAI

Sookie, give me a second here. Is Cindy there -- she's usually able to work me in. I'm not trying to go around you. Cindy and I are old friends.

SOOKIE

They are beautiful pipes. The pipes are really big!

LORELAI

Sookie, the pipes will be there in two minutes?

SOOKIE

Sure. [exits]

LORELAI

Look, it won't take long. It's an easy cut. I'm very low maintenance. I might not seem like it now, but I'd be a delight to have in the place, and I'll even dry my own hair. I'll bring my own blow dryer, even. Yes? Tomorrow? Yes. Eleven o'clock, I'll be there. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

DEAN

Hi, Lorelai.

LORELAI

Hey, Dean. So you're working here?

DEAN

Yeah, I thought maybe Rory would have told you.

LORELAI

Oh, Rory and I keep missing each other.

DEAN

Well, I'm here, and your hair looks fine to me.

LORELAI

Oh, well, you're very kind.

TOM

Lorelai, can I talk to you and Sookie over here for a minute?

LORELAI

See ya.

DEAN

Bye.

LORELAI

[beckons] Sook?

SOOKIE

Tom, I gotta tell ya, these pipes.

LORELAI

She's very thrilled about the pipes.

TOM

Yeah, they're terrific pipes, and you got that fancy sink coming in tomorrow morning.

SOOKIE

And you told them they can't install it until I see it, right? Because I have very specific sink needs.

TOM

They won't even leave it without your approval. [hesitates] Can you guys give us a little space here? [nearby workers walk off]

LORELAI

You okay, Tom?

TOM

This is kind of tricky.

SOOKIE

What is?

TOM

You know I like you two, right?

LORELAI

We know that.

SOOKIE

Sure.

TOM

I gotta deal with a lot of jerks in my business, yelling at you when it's not your fault, bugging you about budget increases you got no control over. You don't do that.

LORELAI

Uh-hm.

TOM

You always smell good, too. That's a plus. So maybe the checks are getting lost in the mail. I'm guessing it's something like that.

SOOKIE

The checks? What checks? Our checks?

TOM

It's just, in the last few weeks, we've been having some cash flow issues. Oh, this is hard.

SOOKIE

Are we not paying him?

LORELAI

I've been wanting to talk to you about that, Tom.

SOOKIE

[repeating] Are we not paying him?

LORELAI

No, no. We're paying him, we're just not paying him the way we should be. It's been an avalanche lately.

TOM

You got a lot of things happening here. Everything's going at once.

SOOKIE

[panicking] I feel very antsy right now, like I just ate some dark chocolate and drank an espresso.

LORELAI

[to Sookie] Okay. Let me talk to Tom for a second, hon. We'll clear it up, really. Go, go. [to Tom] Boy, I'm sorry about this, Tom. It's just been a deluge.

TOM

It's the home stretch -- that's usually when a deluge hits.

LORELAI

I was talking to the bank about a line of credit, but they didn't go for it.

TOM

Banks suck.

LORELAI

I meant to talk to you sooner.

TOM

The thing is, if I don't get paid, I can't pay my guys, then they tend to stop showing up.

LORELAI

So, uh, do you have to shut down?

TOM

I can keep it going awhile longer. For the jerks, I'd shut down. You guys, nah.

LORELAI

Thank you. Thanks, Tom. Now, hug, no hug?

TOM

[uncomfortable] I'm kinda dirty. How about if you whistle at me later in front of the guys when I walk by? Drive 'em nuts.

LORELAI

You got it. [Tom exits. Lorelai approaches Sookie.] Hey. I should have talked to you sooner.

SOOKIE

Are we dead broke?

LORELAI

Getting there.

SOOKIE

Well, we'll start cutting corners. I mean, I don't need that big, fancy stove from France. We'll skip that.

LORELAI

No way!

SOOKIE

It's too expensive, and I don't want it that much.

LORELAI

Sookie, you have four pictures in your wallet. One of Jackson, one of the baby, and two of that stove. You're getting that stove. But we could drop the horses.

SOOKIE

Desi and Cletus, over my dead body.

LORELAI

Well, the upkeep is astronomical. Maybe if we drop one of the horses.

SOOKIE

And who's making that choice, Sophie?

LORELAI

How about Jackson? Would he be willing to put up anything?

SOOKIE

He just bought a bunch of new farm equipment. He's strapped. Are you suddenly on super-fantastic terms with your parents?

LORELAI

If by fantastic, you mean are we as close as that one-armed surfer girl and the shark, then yes.

SOOKIE

Then what about Luke?

LORELAI

What about him?

SOOKIE

He's offered before.

LORELAI

Out of pity.

SOOKIE

We're pretty damn pitiable right now.

LORELAI

He's our friend.

SOOKIE

He's more than that. And he's a hermit, so we know he's got money, and if he didn't want to lend it to you, he'd tell you to your face.

LORELAI

That would be embarrassing.

SOOKIE

More embarrassing than Tom almost crying because we're not paying him?

LORELAI

No, I guess not.

SOOKIE

I'll put my thinking cap on, you put yours on, and if we come up with someone better, we'll talk. But we'll keep Luke as a last resort.

LORELAI

Last resort.

JANET

This is ridiculous, Paris.

PARIS

He can sit in your room.

JANET

I'm still getting ready!

PARIS

Then he can sit in the hallway!

ANDRE

What's your problem?

PARIS

I'll tell you my problem, Andre. Last time you sat on our couch, your mesomorphic frame carved a four-foot crater in it. I felt like I was sitting in a bucket.

JANET

You're so full of it, Paris.

PARIS

Kids were skateboarding up and down it. Gandalf the Grey is still falling down it. It was a big hole.

ANDRE

[to Janet] What does mesomorphic mean?

PARIS

It means you've got a fat ass, pal.

JANET

Just ignore her and sit, Klee.

PARIS

Do not sit Klee.

JANET

It's my place, too.

PARIS

Yours, not that brobdingnagian twit.

JANET

So every friend I bring here has to pass your anal standards?

PARIS

No, he just has to pass through the door without damaging the frame.

JANET

Oh, forget it. Just come into my room, Klee.

PARIS

Good!

JANET

Got another hot night at the library planned, Paris?

PARIS

He's still in here!

JANET

There's nothing like the bitterness of the lonely.

ANDRE

Yeah.

PARIS

Nice addition, Potsie.

JANET

Go put on your spinster dress. [exits with Andre]

PARIS

I'm moving or she is. One of us has gotta go.

LANE

I really hate when you guys fight.

PARIS

Calling me a spinster. I should stick a javelin in her brain.

LANE

You should tell her about the professor, that would shut her up.

PARIS

What? What did you say?

LANE

Just that she thinks you're not dating, and you are. You are, aren't you? Asher Fleming?

RORY

So busy-busy. I know you are, too. And I think I'm coming down with swipe wrist. It's like carpal tunnel, only swipier. Call me if you have any suggestions on how to combat this or if you have Jerry Lewis' number, because maybe his next telethon should be for me.

PARIS

Rory.

RORY

Oh, geez. Paris, you scared me.

PARIS

You told. Come here.

RORY

I'm working.

PARIS

Swipe 'em yourself, people. [pulls Rory aside]

RORY

What?

PARIS

You told Lane about me and Asher?

RORY

What?

PARIS

That was a secret between you and me. You're the only one I told.

RORY

I just told Lane.

PARIS

She was blabbing it around our suite.

RORY

That doesn't sound like Lane.

PARIS

She said it to me, so she probably told everyone. Who else did you blab it to?

RORY

I didn't blab it. I just told Lane.

PARIS

That's blabbing.

RORY

Well, I told her before she had any connection to Yale. She wasn't living here.

PARIS

She shouldn't be living here.

RORY

What?

PARIS

She knows too much.

RORY

What are you going to do, kill her?

PARIS

You didn't tell anyone else?

RORY

No.

PARIS

Your milk man, your minister?

RORY

Just Lane, and I can tell her not to bring it up ever again, especially at Yale, especially in our room.

PARIS

She shouldn't be here, Rory.

RORY

It's just temporary.

PARIS

That suite is crowded enough with the four of us, plus the Jolly Green Giant and everyone else passing through there. She's gotta go.

RORY

You're just mad about what she said.

PARIS

Janet and Tanna think so, too.

RORY

No they don't.

PARIS

We've talked. It's crowded. Ask them.

RORY

I will. After my shift.

PARIS

Look, I know you like having her around, that she brings back memories of those sunshiny Stars Hollow days when the two of you would hold hands, and skip through fields of wildflowers, and sing Carpenter songs, but she doesn't belong here, she belongs there. And do me a favor and stop blabbing.

RORY

Hi.

JANET

[breathless] Hi.

TANNA

Hello.

RORY

Hey, Janet? Could you stop sit-upping for a sec?

JANET

I'm done. What's up?

RORY

Well, Paris --

JANET

Ugh, don't talk to me about Paris.

RORY

Yeah, I know, she said some stupid things.

JANET

What a tremendous shock.

RORY

Yeah, and I'm a little mad that she dragged you two into it. [Tanna switches off the TV.]

TANNA

What did she drag us into?

RORY

Well, she said that you guys weren't happy that Lane is still staying here, which is weird because Lane has been practically invisible. That is, when she's not cleaning the bathroom or picking up out here or bringing us coffee, et cetera, et cetera. And that's not true that you're tired of her being here, is it? That's just Paris?

TANNA

Well, it is a little weird.

RORY

It is?

JANET

It's kind of close quarters in here.

RORY

I know.

TANNA

She doesn't go here.

RORY

I know that, too.

JANET

It's weird

RORY

And you guys have all talked about it?

JANET

A little -- we thought she'd be gone by now.

TANNA

I'm not good at confrontations.

JANET

Personally, I'd vote Paris out over Lane in a heartbeat, but Paris goes here.

RORY

I see.

TANNA

Are you mad?

RORY

No, no. Carry on. [exits to her bedroom]

LANE

Hey, how was work?

RORY

Fine, dull.

LANE

You gonna study some more?

RORY

I'm gonna have to.

LANE

You look very serious.

RORY

Yeah.

LANE

Paris talk to you?

RORY

Yeah.

LANE

She was very mad.

RORY

Yeah.

LANE

I'm out, aren't I? It's okay. It couldn't last forever. It's time.

RORY

It's not time. Let me talk to them again.

LANE

No, it's time. I can't be here forever. I don't even go here.

RORY

The janitor's always here. He doesn't go here.

LANE

He works here.

RORY

So get a job here.

LANE

The jobs here are for the students.

RORY

The janitor's not a student.

LANE

You know what I mean.

RORY

So enroll.

LANE

Go to Yale?

RORY

Or be a janitor. Yale, janitor, in a hundred years, we'll all be dead. It's all the same.

LANE

No, this hasn't been fair to anyone here. I need to go. I'll go tomorrow morning. [starts packing]

RORY

We used to talk about living together. Remember, when we were little?

LANE

I know.

RORY

It was going to be a house made of cheese.

LANE

We had much debate about that. It was down to chocolate, cheese, or Brillo pads.

RORY

Why Brillo pads?

LANE

I think they just made us laugh.

RORY

You brought Stars Hollow here.

LANE

I'll visit. I promise.

RORY

Good.

LANE

Maybe one day we'll live in a house made of cheese.

RORY

I hope so.

LORELAI

Oh, I love shampoo sinks. They're like a hot tub for your head. Hey, listen, Lee Ann, don't tell Cindy, but you're better, much better. Those hands... [cell phone rings] Oh, no. Oh, no, not now.

LEE ANN

Ignore it.

LORELAI

It could be my daughter. We've been missing each other for days. Sorry. Hello? No, this is she. No, no, Sookie's there. Yes, it was all arranged. Everywhere? You've looked everywhere? In the kitchen near the pipes? She loves those pipes. Did you look there? No, no, don't leave, please. I'll get someone down there to sign for it. Just please don't leave. I know. Ten minutes. Okay. [quickly dials number] Sookie, where are you?

LORELAI

Oh, for God's sake.

SOOKIE

AND JACKSON'S RECORDED VOICES: I think it tastes like candy. Do you want to say it tastes like candy, huh? Oh he waved! Okay, so here comes the beep.

LORELAI

Shorten it, dq'd it, and call me back. [quickly dials another number - hair dripping]

MICHEL

Tally Rand Hotel, may I help you?

LORELAI

Micehel, good! Listen, emergency, can you --

MICHEL

You are not going to believe this. [whispers] Celine Dion is here. I'm not five feet away from her.

LORELAI

Cool, Spiffy. Listen, is there any way you could --

MICHEL

Oh, my heart is pounding through my chest. She's so beautiful.

LORELAI

Yeah, she's very pretty. Listen!

MICHEL

She's lovelier in person than she is on TV, and so nice.

LORELAI

I've only heard good things about her. Listen, can you please --

MICHEL

And I have a pimple today. Of all the days to have a pimple.

LORELAI

Michel, listen. Can you get to the inn? It's really important, and Sookie didn't show, and I'm desperate. I can't get away. I've got wet hair.

MICHEL

She sneezed. I should give her my hanky.

LORELAI

Forget it. I'll talk to you later. [hangs up] Lee Ann, what can you do for my hair in two minutes? [Lee Ann stares] I figured.

SOOKIE

Coming. [She shuffles sleepily down the hallway to the front door.] Okay, I'm coming. [opens door]

LORELAI

You said you were gonna meet the sink guy at the inn.

SOOKIE

I did?

LORELAI

Yeah, Sookie, you did. You said you were going to meet him to approve the sink and sign for it?

SOOKIE

Oh, Tom could have done that.

LORELAI

No, Sookie, Tom couldn't have done that because you insisted that you had to approve the sink before it was installed.

SOOKIE

I did? Oh, I did, didn't I? Oh, shoot, oh, shoot, oh, shoot, oh, sugar foot.

LORELAI

If there was ever a time to use the real word, this would be it.

SOOKIE

Well, just call them, have them deliver the sink tomorrow.

LORELAI

No, no, Sookie, they can't deliver the sink tomorrow.

SOOKIE

Why?

LORELAI

Because they already sent it back to Canada.

SOOKIE

Why would they do that?

LORELAI

Because... that's where it's mother is.

SOOKIE

I'm sorry, I got no sleep last night. Davey cried forever, and I finally got him to sleep, and I must have fallen asleep with him.

LORELAI

Sookie, I was counting on you. Now they have to reship it back here, which means we have to repay the shipping fee.

SOOKIE

Why didn't you call Michel?

LORELAI

I did. He couldn't come.

SOOKIE

You want coffee? I am so tired. This is so typical. He's always complaining about not being included, and then he finally gets a chance, and he won't come.

LORELAI

Sookie, Michel has a job. We're not paying him.

SOOKIE

I know, but still.

LORELAI

Sookie -- stop, turn, look. What do you think of my hair?

SOOKIE

Too much product?

LORELAI

Sookie, for the past six weeks, I have taken every meeting. I have been at the inn round the clock - I haven't had a second for myself - and all I asked for was just one hour to get my hair done, and then two seconds into the shampoo I get a phone call from a guy who sounds like a "Kids in the Hall" character telling me I have to get to the inn to okay a sink that I wouldn't know how to okay because I don't know what makes it okay. You know what makes it okay, which is why you said you would be there to say whether or not it was okay.

SOOKIE

Look, I said I'm sorry I missed the meeting, but I have a baby here.

LORELAI

Yes, I know, believe me, that's all I've heard about lately.

SOOKIE

Well, excuse me for procreating.

LORELAI

We have a business we're trying to launch.

SOOKIE

I missed a meeting.

LORELAI

Every meeting.

SOOKIE

I said I'm sorry.

LORELAI

I don't need you to be sorry. I need you to be there.

SOOKIE

What do you want me to do? I have a baby.

LORELAI

Sookie, we are drowning here. I wasn't supposed to have to do everything by myself. That's why I have a partner.

SOOKIE

I didn't know I was gonna be pregnant when we decided to open the inn.

LORELAI

And if you'd known, we wouldn't be partners?

SOOKIE

No, I mean... Look, this isn't the stuff I'm supposed to help with, anyhow.

LORELAI

What are you talking about?

SOOKIE

The planning, the decision making -- I've never been any good at that. My part comes later, when we open the inn.

LORELAI

I need you before then.

SOOKIE

I'm doing the best I can.

LORELAI

Fine. I have to go. [exits]

SOOKIE

[calls after her] What are we gonna do about the sink?

LANE

Hey, Luke.

LUKE

Hey, Lane, back in town, huh? [Busily busses table]

LANE

Well, yeah, as of today.

LUKE

You're not staying with Rory anymore, huh?

LANE

No, it was kind of time for me to move on, considering, you know, I don't actually go to Yale.

LUKE

Yeah.

LANE

You need some help?

LUKE

Nope, I'm good. [walks back to counter]

ED

I've been waiting for ten minutes.

LUKE

Sorry, not even close to the record.

LANE

Listen, I was wondering if I could maybe get my job back. I know it was wrong for me to take off like that. I totally left you in the lurch, and I'd be willing to work extra overtime hours for nothing if you'd consider giving me another chance.

LUKE

Sure.

LANE

Really? Oh, my God, thank you, Luke. Should I start right now?

ED

Yes [waiting impatiently]

LUKE

Your shift tonight will be fine.

LANE

Okay, my shift tonight. I'll be here. [Lorelai enters the diner wearing a baseball cap to cover her hair.] Lorelai. I really, really want to thank you.

LORELAI

Aww, you're very, very welcome. For what?

LANE

For letting me stay with you.

LORELAI

You're staying with me?

LANE

Yes?

LORELAI

And I knew this?

LANE

Rory told you...

LORELAI

Ha, ha, Rory told me, yeah.

LANE

She did tell you, right? She said she was gonna call.

LORELAI

Ahh, I guess you're staying with me.

LANE

Is that okay?

LORELAI

Yeah, its okay. Just make sure your mom knows.

LANE

Okay, I will. I'll see you at home. [exits while speaking] Thanks, Luke, I'll see you later.

ED

Oh, we'll be here.

LUKE

Sit down, Ed. [returns to counter] Pigs, gluttons.

LORELAI

Customers!

LUKE

How could people eat this much?

LORELAI

Well, this is not all from one person, Luke.

LUKE

It's disgusting. It's making me sick to my stomach.

LORELAI

Well then, have you ever thought that maybe you're in the wrong industry?

LUKE

I should get rid of the plates, make 'em all strap on a feed bag, you know, hang bells around their necks. Enter them in county fairs.

LORELAI

Come again, soon. See ya! [to Luke] Listen, Luke, could you hit the pause button on the rant for just a sec?

LUKE

What do you need?

LORELAI

I was wondering if we could have dinner tonight.

LUKE

Dinner?

LORELAI

Yeah, I need to discuss something with you, and I thought maybe we could do it over dinner unless you and Nicole have -

LUKE

She's in Boston this week.

LORELAI

Okay. Well, how about Silvano's, 8:00?

LUKE

Why don't you just come here? I could make us some...

LORELAI

No, this isn't diner talk. It's more official.

LUKE

Are you being drafted?

LORELAI

Yes, that's it.

LUKE

You have to wear a tie at Silvano's.

LORELAI

No, just a jacket, and you can take it off the minute we sit down.

LUKE

Okay, 8:00.

LORELAI

Okay, I'll see you there. [moved to door]

LUKE

Love the hat.

LORELAI

Livin' on a prayer, baby. [exits]

MRS. KIM

Hello, Lane.

LANE

Hello, Mrs. Kim. [Mrs Kim stars to walk away] I'm staying at Lorelai's.

MRS. KIM

Wear socks. [walks on]

LANE

Okay.

RORY

[leaving voice message] So I'm on my way to my professor's office to ask him a question about his last lecture because my pen was giving out, and I can't read my own writing, which is not at all true. However, it will give him a perfect opportunity to discuss my paper with me since I'm sure he's graded it by now, and since I'm also sure I'm in for a big helping of "Nicely done, Miss Gilmore, how about an 'A'." Call me. [she stops before teacher's office door and knocks]

PROF. GILBERT

[from inside] Come in.

RORY

[enters office] Professor Gilbert? Hi, I'm Rory Gilmore. I'm in your Tuesday afternoon Game Theory class. I hope I'm not disturbing you.

PROF. GILBERT

Come in.

RORY

Thank you. I was wondering if I could go over a couple of things from your lecture the other day.

PROF. GILBERT

Uh-hmm [stands and begins shuffling through papers behind her without speaking]

RORY

Okay, well, I wrote something down here, but I cannot for the life of me read my own handwriting. Seriously, if I had this analyzed, Charlize Theron would be playing me in a movie... 'Cause I'd be a serial killer, and pretty girls like to get fat and play serial killers 'cause they win an Oscar and - I'm sorry, should I go on?

PROF. GILBERT

Or you can just wait to let me find your paper so we can talk about why you're really here.

RORY

Oh. [embarrassed] Well, Okay. [nervous giggle - sits down]

PROF. GILBERT

Rory Gilmore. [He pulls her paper from the middle of the pile.] Yes, here we are. [reads notes while returning to seat] Yes. Right. Okay. Good you came in.

RORY

It is?

PROF. GILBERT

Yes. Now, in this paper, you were supposed to use a real world example to compare and contrast classical economic theory and game theory, yes?

RORY

Yes.

PROF. GILBERT

Okay, now your paper dealt well enough with the game theory portion. However, you then diverged into a discussion on the pollution problem in Mexico City.

RORY

Uh-huh.

PROF. GILBERT

Well, it felt to me like someone using knowledge from a different course to pad their paper and thereby avoid doing research for mine.

RORY

Oh, no, I just --

PROF. GILBERT

I've seen this happen before, particularly to freshmen. Usually, it just means that they're overloading themselves, that they don't fully understand the demands of a Yale academic curriculum. So, I took the liberty of looking over your schedule, and I think that's what you've done.

RORY

Oh, no, no, I'm fine, really. I just have a little trouble with game theory, that's all. I blame my mother. She always made up the games at home when I was growing up. I begged her for Monopoly, but she insisted on "Mimic Your Favorite Sweat Hog", so...

PROF. GILBERT

I talked with your advisor. She has the same concern that I do.

RORY

What concern is that?

PROF. GILBERT

You're taking too many courses this semester. Your workload is too heavy.

RORY

I'll try harder.

PROF. GILBERT

I think you should drop this course. You still have a couple of weeks left before the end of the drop period. You can take the course again when you have more time to devote to it.

RORY

But, my grandfather took this same workload when he went here.

PROF. GILBERT

Different people work at different paces. You shouldn't compare yourself to anyone else. You work at a slower pace.

RORY

I don't. I'm not...

PROF. GILBERT

The choice is ultimately yours. You can stay, but this is a "D" paper. This is not a big deal. This happens to a lot of students.

RORY

[stands, smooths hair and moves toward door] Okay. Glad to be fitting in. [exits]

LORELAI

[to maid] Hi. I'm Lore--

EMILY

Get in here right now.

LORELAI

My gran must be here. [begins to remove coat]

EMILY

[to maid] Jersey, close the door and get those nuts in the living room [hurriedly yanks off Lorelai's coat].

LORELAI

Well.. Ow.

EMILY

I've been alone with that woman for over two hours now.

LORELAI

Real arm in the coat, Mom.

EMILY

Your father's late. You're late.

LORELAI

I'm not late, just in pain.

EMILY

Get in the living room.

LORELAI

I can't arrive before the nuts.

EMILY

Don't start with me.

EMILY

Here she is, Mom, Lorelai. The party just gets bigger.

LORELAI

Hi, Gran, how are you doing? You look great.

TRIX

Emily, what is the matter with her hair?

EMILY

Oh, well...

TRIX

I know my granddaughter. If she had received proper notice of my arrival, she would have done something about it.

EMILY

I told her in plenty of time, Mom.

LORELAI

She really did, Gran. I swear.

TRIX

I think it is admirable of you to cover for your mother. The importance of family loyalty simply cannot be measured. Sit, dear. Other than your hair, you look well. Are you well? Emily, perhaps the girl would like a drink.

LORELAI

I am very well.

TRIX

Good. How is Rory?

LORELAI

She's just as healthy as I am.

EMILY

[from the bar] And her hair is perfect.

TRIX

And how is she doing at Yale?

LORELAI

She's doing great, studying her butt off.

TRIX

Oh, how charming to hear. I'm glad she's doing well. She is a Gilmore, after all. Gilmores have always excelled at Yale. They have quite a legacy to live up to.

LORELAI

Well, your legacy is safe with her.

EMILY

[shrilly] Mom, here are the nuts.

TRIX

Oh, thank you, Emily, for that announcement. How wonderful that you don't need some sort of amplification system in order to make sure that everyone in the area is informed about the arrival of the nuts.

EMILY

I'm sorry. [embarrassed]

TRIX

[to Lorelai] Strange woman, so excited about nuts.

RICHARD

[from other room] I smell jasmine.

TRIX

You smell impatience. Where have you been?

RICHARD

You know very well where I've been. [kisses Trix's cheek] I had some work to get out of the way so I could devote my full attention to you. You look wonderful. Florida agrees with you.

TRIX

Florida agrees with muscle-bound men who dress like women. I am much happier to be back here where I belong. Would you like a nut? They seem to be very important to your wife.

EMILY

I thought you liked those nuts, Mom.

RICHARD

I'm fine, Trix. I have someone I would like you to meet. [turns and sees Lorelai for the first time] Lorelai, have you been there the whole time?

LORELAI

Yes, I have.

RICHARD

Well, I didn't see you.

LORELAI

Well, I had my cloaking device activated, so --

RICHARD

[ignores her] Trix, this is my partner, Jason Stiles. Jason, this is my mother.

JASON

It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Gilmore.

TRIX

You are very young.

JASON

Oh, no, no, no, not so young.

TRIX

I think I know if someone is young or not.

EMILY

[exasperated] For God's sake, Jason, just be young.

LORELAI

[to Jason] Cloaking device, never leave home without it.

TRIX

Richard Gilmore, you're growing a mustache.

EMILY

I know, the Ferrari is arriving on Tuesday.

TRIX

I like it.

RICHARD

Thank you, Trix.

TRIX

It makes you look like Adolphe Menjou.

EMILY

[under her breath] Or Adolphe Menjou's cocaine dealer.

TRIX

What is that?

JASON

Well, actually, this is a little present that I got for you.

TRIX

For me?

JASON

Yes.

TRIX

Why would you give me a present?

JASON

[uncomfortably] Well..

TRIX

It's not my birthday. It's not Christmas.

JASON

Yes, but...

TRIX

You don't even know me.

JASON

No, but you're Richard's mother, so I thought --

TRIX

What is it? What is this present that you got for an old woman you've never met?

JASON

[pause] It's a book.

TRIX

What sort of book?

JASON

It's a book on French antiques. I heard you liked French antiques.

TRIX

I do like French antiques.

JASON

You can just open it later. [sets box on nearby table]

TRIX

Absolutely not -- I am company. You don't answer the phone when you have company,

LORELAI

Yes, Gran.

TRIX

Now, shall we all take turns guessing how long it will be before lunch is served? I will say an hour. Richard?

RICHARD

[laughing] You are bad, Trix.

LORELAI'S VOICE MAIL

Hi, this is Lorelai Gilmore, and you've reached my cell phone. Leave a message, and I'll return your call -

RORY

[Sighs, then hangs up when gets voicemail. Grabs car keys and exits]

JASON

[whispers] Hey, you on the phone?

LORELAI

[whispers] No, I'm just checking my messages.

JASON

Anything important?

LORELAI

No, just a hang up.

JASON

Good, good. [looks at nearby decorative globe] You know, I should get a globe. Every time you see a movie, and there's a really important character, and then you go into that character's office, they always have a globe.

LORELAI

You're hiding from my grandmother, aren't you?

JASON

She is scarier than Nick Nolte's mug shot.

LORELAI

Come on. [ushering him out]

JASON

Please, she's just gonna ask me why I got her a present again.

TRIX

We have decided to just go sit at the table. Perhaps the food will appear by sheer wish fulfillment.

EMILY

I'll check on it again, Mom.

TRIX

Oh, please don't. I wouldn't want to disturb your cook. She's obviously in the middle of a crossword puzzle. [they all settle at table] Lorelai, where did you go?

LORELAI

Sorry, Gran. I had to check my messages. I've got all this construction going on at the inn.

TRIX

Yes, your inn. [to Richard] Have you seen this inn of hers?

RICHARD

No, not yet.

LORELAI

No, it's a mess right now. You'll all see it when it's done.

TRIX

And when will that be?

LORELAI

Soon.

TRIX

I see you measure time like your mother.

EMILY

[helplessly] Just let me check on lunch, please?

TRIX

So tell me, Lorelai. How much money have you invested in this inn?

LORELAI

Oh, a chunk.

TRIX

And I assume that you have a projected timetable for getting your chunk back out?

LORELAI

Well, if everything goes as planned, we're hoping to break even the first year and turn a profit the second year.

TRIX

That's optimistic, yes?

LORELAI

Yes, but our town has a pretty regular tourist trade.

JASON

You know, small inns and bed and breakfasts can be real money factories.

TRIX

Yes, and wonderful places to put all those French antiques.

LORELAI

Well, we have very high hopes, and we booked our first reservation.

EMILY

When is the reservation?

LORELAI

May 8th.

RICHARD

Really? That soon?

EMILY

You'll be ready by then?

LORELAI

Well, we'll have to be. We had to add some extra construction guys, and we'll have to get the sink back from Canada, but we'll finish in time.

TRIX

How is the money holding up?

LORELAI

Excuse me?

TRIX

The money. I was somewhat aware of your financial situation before you took this on. How much do you have left?

LORELAI

Plenty. Enough to finish.

TRIX

You're in trouble.

LORELAI

No.

TRIX

You are hemorrhaging money. I see it in your eyes. It must be costing a fortune to get a contractor to stick to a projected completion date. And you're not working now. Unless your partner is a Rockefeller, you are in serious financial trouble.

EMILY

Mom, I don't think this is the best time to discuss this.

TRIX

Well, if we were eating, we would have something else to do, but since we're not... [to Richard] How could you let this happen?

RICHARD

How could I let this happen?

TRIX

She is your daughter. It is your responsibility to know when she is in deep financial trouble.

LORELAI

I'm not in deep financial trouble.

RICHARD

Trix, Lorelai is a grown woman.

TRIX

Ridiculous. This is a family. It is a family's responsibility to make sure that this doesn't happen. We have a reputation to uphold. How would it look if a Gilmore goes out into the business world and fails?

EMILY

I hardly think she's failing, Mom.

TRIX

Well, she looks like she's failing to me. [Lorelai chuckles nervously. Trix turns to Richard.] And I am surprised at you. After all, I helped you out when you had financial problems.

RICHARD

Trix!

TRIX

You made that terrible investment in Dubliners Paper Corporation when you were first married. I told you not to, but you wouldn't listen, and of course, I had to step in and bail you out.

RICHARD

Now, hold on here, Trix.

TRIX

You would have lost this house if it weren't for me.

RICHARD

That is not true.

TRIX

It is not true that you pigheadedly lost that money?

RICHARD

I was twenty-seven years old. That is the time to take risks.

TRIX

Well, when you have my money to bail you out, taking risks is not much of a problem, is it?

RICHARD

[angry] You're making me sound like an incompetent child.

TRIX

Oh, please.

RICHARD

[angry] I have built two extremely successful businesses, Mother, and both of them without your help. [Emily smiles brightly] And I do not appreciate you now, many years later, throwing in my face the fact that you once helped me out financially!

TRIX

Do not raise your voice to me.

RICHARD

I will raise my voice if the situation warrants it!

EMILY

Oh, no, not now. [to Richard] You paid that money back in two months, also.

RICHARD

That's right, two months. How deep in financial ruin could I have been to get that money back to you in two months?

TRIX

I'm leaving this table.

RICHARD

Let me help you with your chair.

RORY

Hey, Tom, is my mom here?

TOM

I haven't seen her. She could be inside. She sometimes slips in the back door, likes to surprise a bunch of guys with nail guns.

RORY

Thanks. [She enters the Dragonfly Inn.] Mom?

DEAN

[approaches] Rory. Hey.

RORY

Do you know where my mom is?

DEAN

No, did you check outside?

RORY

Yeah, I did. She's not there. She's not at home. She's not anywhere. [slight trembling voice]

DEAN

Are you okay?

RORY

Yeah, I'm fine. I just - I can't find her.

DEAN

Well, maybe she's at Sookie's.

RORY

Sookie's? Okay, I can try Sookie's. [She fumbles with her cell phone.]

DEAN

Rory, what's wrong?

RORY

Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I'm fine, I'm good. I'm just having some technical difficulties. Get it? [shakes her phone] Technical difficulties? Very funny, eh?

DEAN

Yeah, it's very funny.

RORY

I know, I am very funny, and I am getting funnier. Yale is doing that to me. I am just -- it's really developing, the hilarity. Where are we going?

DEAN

Outside. [guides her to the exit]

RORY

Outside? Sure, 'cause I'm used to working a bigger room.

DEAN

[gently] What's wrong?

RORY

Nothing.

DEAN

What's wrong?

RORY

[voice breaking] Everything's falling apart. I thought I had it all under control, but I don't.

DEAN

What? What was under control?

RORY

Everybody else can handle the classes, but I can't. And I'm supposed to. I'm supposed to take five classes. Everybody else does. I mean, my grandfather did. [sigh] God, how am I gonna tell my grandfather that I failed?

DEAN

You failed?

RORY

No, I didn't even get a chance to fail. I mean -- [sniff] I had to drop a class. I was told to drop a class.

DEAN

That's not a big deal.

RORY

It's a really big deal. I'm not supposed to drop a class. I'm not the drop-a-class person. I get good grades. [trembling voice] I... handle things.

DEAN

Hey, come on. [ Puts his arm around her, rubbing her arm ]

RORY

And Lane, she's not around anymore, and I -- I know she had to go, but I miss her, and I liked her there, and I haven't talked to my mom, and I need to talk to her, and she's not around. And I'm failing. I'm failing everything. I can't do it. I can't handle it. I'm messing everything up! [ Sobbing ] Oh! God, just look at this.

DEAN

Look at what?

RORY

You having to be nice to me. I mean, you shouldn't have to be nice to me. I was horrible to you, and now you're married to someone nice and who's not me and not a failure.

DEAN

You are so not a failure.

RORY

[sobbing] Yes, I am. I just can't, I -- I need to talk to my mom 'cause I just don't know what to do.

DEAN

It's okay. [He hugs her close, comforting her.]

LORELAI

Luke.

LUKE

Hey, I was just coming to meet you.

LORELAI

I know. Yeah. [nervously smoothing hair] Could we uh, -- I need to --- I'm sorry, I need to reschedule our dinner.

LUKE

Oh sure.

LORELAI

Yeah, I'm just very tired.

LUKE

Okay.

LORELAI

So I'm sorry that I made you get all dressed up.

LUKE

That's okay, it's good for me to do it every once in awhile. It reminds me why I'm not an accountant.

LORELAI

[odd giggle] Okay.

LUKE

[concerned] Everything okay?

LORELAI

What?

LUKE

Are you okay?

LORELAI

Why?

LUKE

Because you don't look okay.

LORELAI

Well, geez, take me now, sailor.

LUKE

I mean, you look distracted.

LORELAI

Distracted, no. Well, maybe -- yeah. Distracted, okay, sure. I'm very distracted.

LUKE

Anything I can do?

LORELAI

You know, there are very few times in my life when I find myself sitting around thinking, "I wish I was married," but today, I mean -- I'm happy. You know? I like my life. I like my friends. I like my stuff. My time, my space, my TV.

LUKE

Yeah, sure.

LORELAI

But every now and then, just for a moment, I wish I had a partner, someone to pick up the slack. Someone to wait for the cable guy, make me coffee in the morning, meet the stupid sink before it gets sent back to Canada. [wanders to nearby bench and sits]

LUKE

What happened? [joins her on bench]

LORELAI

[ Voice breaking ] Um... [ Sniffles ] I just thought I had everything under control, but I didn't, and the inn is just falling apart. This has been my dream forever, and I have it, and it's here, and I'm failing. I can't handle it. I just spend every minute running around and working and thinking. [Luke puts his arm across the back of the bench and listens quietly.] And I thought I would have help, but Sookie has Davey, and Michel has Celine, and I'm -- I can't do it all by myself. [[Luke moves closer.] And I don't even have time to see my kid, and hell, forget see her, just even talk to her. And I miss her. And I sat there in my parents' house just listening to my grandmother basically call me a charity case, and I couldn't even argue with her. I couldn't even say anything, because I am. I'm running out of money, and I don't know what to do about it, and I was gonna, I was gonna ask you for $30,000 at dinner tonight. That's how pathetic I am.

LUKE

Thirty thousand dollars. Well, okay, I mean if you --

LORELAI

I don't want to talk about it now. I don't want to think about it. [hiding face, she leans against his chest] I'm failing. [ Sobs ] I'm failing.

LUKE

You are not failing.

LORELAI

[muffled] I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

LUKE

[gently] It's okay.

LORELAI'S VOICE

Hi, hon. I'm just seeing if I could catch you, but you're out. So...nothing much to report here. Just give me a call when you can.

RORY'S VOICE

Just checking in. Nothing big to report. Okay, give me a call when you can. Bye, mom.