T4E19: “Afterboom”

LUKE

Hey.

LORELAI

Oh, I left a tip this time. And I didn't put it under the water glass, 'cause I know you hate that, and I made sure it didn't touch the syrup, 'cause that makes it sticky, and I didn't leave the last dollar in pennies just to get rid of them.

LUKE

I know.

LORELAI

So, why are you running down the street yelling at me?

LUKE

I wasn't running. I was walking. I wasn't yelling. I was talking.

LORELAI

Oh, what did you say?

LUKE

"Hey."

LORELAI

Oh, hey.

LUKE

You are a lot of work.

LORELAI

No, you're a lot of work.

LUKE

You heading in there? [He indicates a store entrance.]

LORELAI

Yeah. I need stamps. You heading in there?

LUKE

Yep. I'm getting my divorce. [He reaches for the door.]

LORELAI

What? [She stops in her tracks, shocked.]

LUKE

Yeah. [He returns to stand before her.]

LORELAI

You're g-getting a mail-order divorce?

LUKE

These are the papers we had drawn up before. I just have to sign them.

LORELAI

And you're signing them in there?

LUKE

There's a notary in there.

LORELAI

Luke, that is a Mail Boxes Etc.

LUKE

So?

LORELAI

So, you buy envelopes at a Mail Boxes Etc. You don't get divorced at a Mail Boxes Etc.

LUKE

Why not?

LORELAI

Because, I don't -- it's not dignified.

LUKE

Well, crapping out in a marriage isn't that dignified, either, but I did that.

LORELAI

Luke...

LUKE

Look, I just want to get this over with. It's not a big deal. I just need to sign a piece of paper.

LORELAI

You're ending a marriage.

LUKE

I'm signing a paper --

LORELAI

-- that says you're ending a marriage.

LUKE

Please let me do this.

LORELAI

Why don't you go to a lawyer's office?

LUKE

I hate lawyers.

LORELAI

How about a friend's house?

LUKE

Dougie and Scooter are off at camp.

LORELAI

This is wrong.

LUKE

This is fine. This is practical.

LORELAI

Getting a divorce should not be practical.

LUKE

I only have 20 minutes until I have to be back at work.

LORELAI

A divorce should not be rushed.

LUKE

For someone who's never actually been through a divorce, you sure know a lot about it.

LORELAI

You should take a few minutes to think.

LUKE

I have thought. It's over. I know it's over. And all I have to do is go in there and sign this paper in front of a notary, and then it's officially over. I'm fine. Please, I'm begging you -- let me get divorced.

LORELAI

All right, then. Go ahead. [She solemnly looks down at the sidewalk.]

LUKE

Thank you. [He starts to move to the door then pauses, again returning to Lorelai who isn't following.] I thought you needed stamps.

LORELAI

I can get them later.

LUKE

What are you doing?

LORELAI

I just thought I'd give you some privacy.

LUKE

I'm not taking a shower -- I'm signing a paper.

LORELAI

I can come back later.

LUKE

Will you please get in there and buy your stamps?

LORELAI

Okay, fine.

LUKE

[He follows her inside.] Lots and lots of work...

KIRK

[He pops up from behind the counter.] Welcome to Mail Boxes Etc. How may I help you?

LORELAI

You go ahead.

LUKE

I need to get something notarized.

KIRK

Terrific. We are happy to help you with all of your mailing and notarizing needs. I will need you to fill out your name and address, and then I will need a thumbprint.

LUKE

I know how it works, Kirk.

KIRK

You have a pen?

LUKE

I have a pen.

KIRK

[to Lorelai] What can I do for you today?

LORELAI

[gently] I can wait till he's done.

LUKE

She needs stamps.

LORELAI

I can wait till he's -

LUKE

Just get your stamps. [Lorelai tries to object.] Just get your stamps.

LORELAI

But - but, I -

LUKE

Oh, my God, the work. [He shakes his head and continues to fill out the form.]

LORELAI

I need stamps.

KIRK

Well, your timing is perfect. The breakfast-food series just came out last week. [shows sheet to Lorelai]

LORELAI

[She gasps with delight.] Look at the dancing toast.

KIRK

Aren't they a kick? And here is our cartoon series.

LORELAI

Hey, do you have any Lucille Balls left?

KIRK

Yes, I have some Balls. [Luke looks up and reacts unnoticed.] I'm sorry. Are you a fan of the '50s-slash-mid-'60s sitcom heroines?

LORELAI

I don't know. [eager anticipation] Am I?

KIRK

I think you are.

LORELAI

[gasps] "Bewitched?" I love "Bewitched."

KIRK

Me too. Dr. Bombay was a big influence on me.

LORELAI

Oh, my God -- Serena? I wanted to be Serena. With that hair...

KIRK

And the miniskirts...

LORELAI

And the groovy, psychedelic music...

KIRK

Did you practice the twitch?

LORELAI

Oh, who didn't practice the twitch? [giggles]

KIRK

Tabitha was so lucky. And hey, what ever happened to her little brother Adam? I mean, they determined in episode 242 that he was a warlock, and then...

LUKE

I'm trying to get divorced here!

KIRK

Sorry.

LORELAI

[gently] I'm sorry.

KIRK

[speaking quietly] Remember when Endora called him "Derwood?"

LORELAI

Shh. [She gestures to Luke, who is shifting impatiently.]

KIRK

Sorry.

LORELAI

Oh man. Beat up the toaster again?

LUKE

This damn thing stopped working.

LORELAI

Could get another one.

LUKE

This one will be fine.

LORELAI

Sure -- as soon as it learns its place. You gonna go ten rounds with the coffee maker, or - [Luke is already pouring her a cup of coffee.] Ooh, thank you. What happened to your thumb?

LUKE

It's from the thumbprint yesterday.

LORELAI

I thought they had inkless pads now.

LUKE

They do, Kirk doesn't.

LORELAI

Right.

LUKE

[He resumes working on the toaster.] He hasn't even heard of them. He just uses the stuff that came in the notary kit he sent away for. I've been scrubbing my thumb for two days. I've tried soap, I've tried cleaning fluid -

LORELAI

Have you tried fire?

LUKE

Now not only am I divorced, every time I look at my black thumb, I'm reminded that I'm divorced.

LORELAI

Sorry about your thumb.

LUKE

It's okay. I have another one.

LORELAI

Hey, you know what might make you feel better?

LUKE

What?

LORELAI

Handing me a cherry Danish.

LUKE

Well, it's certainly worth a try. [A cell phone in Lorelai's purse rings.] Out.

LORELAI

But I just got my coffee.

LUKE

Follow the thumb.

LORELAI

Hello?

RORY'S VOICE

Who is this?

LORELAI

This is Lorelai Gilmore.

RORY

No, this is Lorelai Gilmore.

LORELAI

Ooh, "Gaslight."

RORY

So, you have my phone.

LORELAI

Yes, you left it in the kitchen. You know what that means, don't you? You miss Mommy.

RORY

Yes, or that the refrigerator was empty, and I ordered food.

LORELAI

Oh, that makes much more sense.

RORY

Just hold onto it for me? I'll get it from you next time I see you.

LORELAI

Okay -- ooh, hold on, hon. [A second cell phone rings and now she has a cell phone held to each ear.] Hello?

JASON

So, I'm officially taking the one hour I have off to go to the driving range to hit golf balls to try to improve my sucky game, thereby redeeming myself in your father's eyes.

LORELAI

I like the use of "sucky" and "thereby" in the same sentence.

RORY

Hey, who's that?

LORELAI

It's Jason.

RORY

Tell him hi.

LORELAI

Hey, Rory says hi.

JASON

Tell her hi back.

LORELAI

He says hi back. [to Luke] Hi.

LUKE

This is a sickness.

LORELAI

Well, I'll be in in a minute.

LUKE

Who are you talking to?

LORELAI

My other two personalities.

LUKE

I'll bring this back inside. [He starts to leave.]

LORELAI

Wait, wait -- bite. [Luke holds the Danish out and she carefully takes a bite.]

LUKE

A frightening picture of things to come. [He goes back inside the diner.]

LORELAI

Did you talk to anyone yet?

JASON

I left a message for Dad. I talked to Mom, but she just had her morning Mr. Happy pill, so of course she was having a happy morning and was absolutely no help. But I'm on it.

LORELAI'S VOICE

A man on a mission.

JASON

That's me.

RORY

Fire!

LORELAI

What?

RORY

Nothing. I was just feeling left out.

LORELAI

Oh, sorry.

JASON

I figure, if he doesn't call me back by 4:00, I'll just go over there. Okay, I'm at the club. I'm gonna hang up now.

LORELAI

Call me later.

RORY

Me?

LORELAI

No.

JASON

No?

LORELAI

Not you.

RORY

Not me?

LORELAI

Uh, I'm confused. [She has both phones to her ears.] Who's hanging up now?

JASON

Uh, that would be me.

LORELAI

Good. Okay. I'll talk to you later. [to Rory] Jason's gone.

RORY

Finally had enough of you.

LORELAI

Oh, yeah. It took three hours of my hula-dancing, Small World doll impressions, but I broke him.

RORY

So, how's World War III going?

LORELAI

Oh, you know, the first boys off the boat were mowed down, but the next platoon is moving in.

RORY

Which means?

LORELAI

Jason's making the lawsuit go away.

RORY

Have you talked to Grandma or Grandpa yet?

LORELAI

No.

RORY

Have you tried to talk to Grandma or Grandpa yet?

LORELAI

No.

RORY

That's my little Kofi Annan.

LORELAI

Jason will fix it.

RORY

Jason's not their daughter.

LORELAI

Then he might have better luck.

RORY

Why didn't you just tell them that you guys were dating?

LORELAI

Oh, come on. You know why. We were going to tell them when the time was right. Of course, I had no idea we were dealing with the Carringtons. All we needed was a swimming pool and some ball gowns to really end the evening right.

RORY

This is unbelievable. I leave you people alone for one hour and all hell breaks loose.

LORELAI

Hey, let's talk about something happy. How did your paper turn out?

RORY

It sucked.

LORELAI

Why did it suck?

RORY

I just couldn't find the right hook. It didn't feel focused enough. I don't know. Professor Fleming's class is so hard.

LORELAI

Hon, I bet it was great.

RORY

You have to say that 'cause you're my mother.

LORELAI

Oh, no. I'm not. I've been looking for the right time to tell you.

RORY

Okay, I have to go now.

LORELAI

Yeah, me too. Danish calls.

RORY

Talk to parents.

LORELAI

I'm going to take advice from you after that paper you turned in?

RORY

Goodbye.

LORELAI

Goodbye.

ZACK

Dude, come on... I want to do a heavenly prayer.

BRIAN

Hold on, I'm trying to do a Vulcan sting, and I just let you do a half-moon death combo.

ZACK

You didn't let me -- I used my soul charge.

LANE

Guys, the band meeting started ten minutes ago.

ZACK

We can hear and play at the same time, Lane.

BRIAN

What?

ZACK

What?

LANE

Okay, fine. I'm going to decide the set list without you. Hey, Gil, I think now would be a great time to add a little Matchbox Twenty to our sound, don't you?

TV

Necrid wins! [Zack stares at the TV in shock.]

ZACK

[with sarcasm] Thank you, Lane.

LANE

You're welcome, Zack. Okay, let's do this. The gig is Friday night.

GIL

Oh, hey, Lane. Who's taking care of the guest list? I need to put my wife down. We got a sitter that night, so we are free to party.

BRIAN

How many people are we allowed to invite? 'Cause my aunt Susan left my uncle Sid, and she's staying with my parents, and that means she's going to bring my cousin, Turner.

LANE

I'm sure that's fine.

BRIAN

He goes everywhere dressed like Zorro.

LANE

That still seems fine.

BRIAN

And he's 16.

ZACK

One less wedding you're gonna have to go to, my friend.

BRIAN

You don't know that.

ZACK

Here. [He hands Lane a folded paper napkin.]

LANE

What's this?

ZACK

It's the names of a couple chicks I met last night. Put them on the list.

LANE

I'm sorry -- why am I suddenly in charge of the guest list?

BRIAN

'Cause you're the most reliable.

LANE

How very rock 'n' roll.

ZACK

Hey, wait. [He looks at another napkin from his pocket.] Is one of those names Dixie?

LANE

Yes.

ZACK

Wrong night. [He swaps napkins with Lane.]

GIL

I want you guys to see something. I've been working on the flier for the gig. [They gather around Gil.]

ZACK

Why is there a sandwich on it?

GIL

I used a flier from the sandwich shop to get the dimensions right. It's just a prototype. The real one won't have the sandwich on it.

LANE

So, would there be a picture of us where the sandwich is?

ZACK

Or we could put the band name where the sandwich is.

GIL

Just the name, I think. Diagonal. Across where the sandwich is.

BRIAN

Everyone needs to stop saying "sandwich." I'm getting hungry.

ZACK

Me too. Do we have anything to eat?

LANE

It was your turn to shop.

ZACK

Then no.

LANE

Great.

BRIAN

What kind of sandwich is that?

GIL

That's the meatball explosion.

BRIAN

That sounds fantastic.

ZACK

I would dress up like Zorro for a meatball explosion.

BRIAN

Why would those be connected?

ZACK

It would be like a dare.

BRIAN

I once ate cheesecake off the floor on a dare.

ZACK

Cheesecake...

GIL

Cheesecake would be good with the meatball explosion.

LANE

Okay, fine. [She puts down the notebook and tugs on her jacket.]

BRIAN

Where you going?

LANE

I'm going to go to the store, and I'm going to get us some food so maybe we can get back to work. Okay?

ZACK

Thanks, Mom.

JASON

[muttering to himself] Yeah, sure, that's exactly what I meant to do. [He sees a familiar face walking by.] Hey, Owen, good to see you. [They shake hands.]

OWEN

Ah, yes. Good to see you too, Jason. [He quickly turns to leave.]

JASON

You know, I was gonna call you about the changes in those contracts I sent over.

OWEN

I'll call Richard about them tomorrow.

JASON

Okay, or -

OWEN

Goodbye, Jason.

MICHEL

All of the woodwork was hand-carved by a union soldier that the owner, Mrs. Tinley, took pity on and nursed back to health. He got better, went off, slaughtered a few dozen Confederate soldiers, came back, and made the stairs. Nice story, yes? [The tour group follows Michel to the front lobby.] Yes, your American history is all over this inn. [He points through a window.] Oh, look, a deer. I think I know that little guy -- he was here for breakfast this morning. Creep up quietly. Take a better look. [He sighs as the group "oohs" and "ahhs" around the window. Michel turns to Lorelai, who stands behind the front desk.] I have these people in the palm of my hand. Travel agents are so easy. Are the horses washed?

LORELAI

They're washed.

MICHEL

Because I'm not bringing them out there to be disgusted by smelly horses.

LORELAI

Trust me. They've been hosed down with new-car scent. They're great.

MICHEL

Okay, let's see -- they saw the deer, we released the doves, I've got the Stevens boy whitewashing the fence in short pants and a straw hat.

LORELAI

No one can manufacture a quaint, small-town moment like you, Michel.

MICHEL

[grins] Awww...

LORELAI

Ooh, travel agents coming back.

MICHEL

[His grin evaporates.] Ugh... [His smile reappears as he turns to the group.] Adorable, yes? Okay, let me show you the upstairs, the bedrooms -- [sniffs the air] Oh, what is that delicious scent? Why, I bet our amazing chef, Sookie St. James, is experimenting with her cookie recipe again. Why don't we sneak into the kitchen and see if we can convince her to give us a taste? Okay? Follow me.

MAN

Coming through! [Two men pass Michel carrying Sookie between them.]

SOOKIE

Coming through!

LORELAI

[gasps] Sookie!

SOOKIE

I'm okay.

LORELAI

What happened?

MICHEL

Did you make the cookies?

LORELAI

Is it your foot?

SOOKIE

I don't think I broke it. [She is grinning.] I didn't even hear a snap this time.

LORELAI

Oh, Sookie...

MICHEL

What about the cookies?

SOOKIE

Ooh, the cookies are on the counter. Caramel-marshmallow-chocolate-chunk.

LORELAI

Where are you taking her?

MAN

Dr. Su.

SOOKIE

Ooh, great. He's the best.

LORELAI

Call me the minute you get there.

SOOKIE

Okay. God, I love having a kitchen again.

LORELAI

You put the doctor on so I can talk to him?

SOOKIE

I will. Hey.

LORELAI

What?

SOOKIE

I'm back. [laughing]

LORELAI

Well, this is a nice surprise.

JASON

Well, apparently this is a day for surprises.

LORELAI

Oh, what's the matter?

JASON

I spent the entire day trying to track down your father.

LORELAI

Do you want to sit or plant or...

JASON

I left messages at his house, on his cell phone...finally, I went to the office, and he wasn't there.

LORELAI

O-okay.

JASON

The only people that were there were two extremely uncomfortable looking secretaries who practically threw their back out trying to avoid eye contact with me.

LORELAI

Why?

JASON

Why? Yes. A good question. I asked myself the same thing. And then I got a call from Richard's lawyer.

LORELAI

What did he want?

JASON

To tell me that Richard's going back into business with my father.

LORELAI

What? Jason... no, my father wouldn't do that.

JASON

He did it.

LORELAI

No, that company forced him out.

JASON

And now they have welcomed him back in. He has his own boutique company under their banner, a big office, no overhead.

LORELAI

Well, there must be some --

JASON

and he is taking all our clients with him. I...couldn't believe it. I thought it was one of those crazy, not-so-funny, Billy-Crystal-At-The-Oscars kind of jokes, so I spent the last two hours calling every client I could, and they're all gone.

LORELAI

Oh, Jason.

JASON

The ones I brought in from my father's company, the ones I've brought in since -- all gone.

LORELAI

How could he do this? How could my father just take the business from you?

JASON

Oh, no, no, no. He left me the business, but without the clients, the business consists of some stationery, a coffee maker, and some rubber pencil grips.

LORELAI

I don't understand. Why would my father do that?

JASON

Because it's brilliant. It's perfect. He gets my dad to drop the lawsuit, he makes some extra cash, and he's sitting pretty. Makes perfect sense.

LORELAI

But he was your partner.

JASON

And now he's the guy running around town, bad-mouthing me. It is amazing. Your father has done a very thorough job. I've got nothing. He has ruined my reputation. What do I do now? I don't know. Move? Start over somewhere else? What? [He's pacing nervously.]

LORELAI

Well, you can't move.

JASON

Well, I have to work, and he's making it pretty impossible for me to work here. Oh, my God. I'm gonna end up in Houston.

LORELAI

Jason...

JASON

Where all the financial wash ups wash up. It's gonna be me and the Enron boys smoking cigars while their ankle cuffs beep in the background.

LORELAI

What can I do?

JASON

Nothing. I just needed to vent. I'm okay. Thank you.

LORELAI

Come in.

JASON

No, no. I can't. I'll call you later. [He gives Lorelai a quick kiss. Lorelai looks helpless as he leaves.]

ASHER

"I saw then what I had not seen before." [Rory enters and stands close to where a smiling Paris - who is also riveted to Asher's recitation - is seated.] "I saw the stoop of his shoulders, the lines on his face -- like a map of a country I had once traveled with him. I hoped these marks of age reflected wisdom, but I feared they were merely tokens, purchased with lack of sleep and the kind of artificial goodwill that's squeezed from a man in the public eye like oil from a rag.: [He closes the heavy book and crowd applauds. Sitting in front, a redhead wearing low-cut orange sweater smiles coyly at Professor Fleming.] Thank you. Thank you. You're very kind. [A tall slim brunette approaches and whispers in his ear. Paris' smile vanishes.]

BRUNETTE

[to the audience] Thank you, Asher Fleming, for that very moving excerpt from your new novel, "Jaglon." It is an absolutely electric book. Now, Professor Fleming has been kind enough to give us one hour, so if you'll just line up behind the table, you can get your book signed, and then take them over to the cash register to purchase them. [to Asher] If you'll just follow me.

ASHER

My pleasure.

PARIS

God, he was great. Wasn't he great?

RORY

He was very impressive.

PARIS

He is so commanding. I mean, it's obviously not necessary for a brilliant novelist to also be an extraordinary public speaker, but he is.

RORY

Yes, he is.

PARIS

And he's sexy as hell.

RORY

Teacher. Mine. Thanks.

PARIS

Look at all these girls, just flocking around him. They're so obvious.

ASHER

Well, hello there.

REDHEAD

Hello Professor Fleming. I can't tell you what a thrill this is.

ASHER

Well, I'm -- I'm flattered.

REDHEAD

You're a genius.

ASHER

Am I? How delightful.

REDHEAD

I'm buying a copy for everyone I know.

ASHER

Well, then, you should meet some more people. You'll make my publisher's day. [The redhead giggles.]

PARIS

Who is she kidding? Like he can't see right through the multiple-book-buying ploy? I mean, what girl hasn't used that one?

RORY

God knows, I have.

PARIS

You want to go up and say hi?

RORY

No, thanks. You go.

PARIS

We won't be disturbing him. I'm his girlfriend.

RORY

It's okay. Really.

PARIS

Are you hiding from him because of your paper?

RORY

I'm not hiding. I just don't need to know how much it sucks before it's time.

PARIS

You might be over-reacting.

RORY

Oh. No. Smell that? What's that? Oh, yeah. I believe that's my paper. Thanks. I'll stay here.

PARIS

Oh please -- she's going to hover. Pathetic. Hey, did I show you this? [She opens her own copy of his book.] Look.

RORY

"To a wise, willful, wonderful woman."

PARIS

That's me. He dedicated it to me.

RORY

Wow, that's very nice.

PARIS

I know.

RORY

It's not very specific, but it's very nice.

PARIS

Well, what's he supposed to do, write my name?

RORY

Perish the thought.

PARIS

You know the situation.

RORY

I do.

PARIS

And as long as I know that the wise, willful, wonderful woman is me, who cares who else knows?

RORY

You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just stressed about my paper.

PARIS

Well, don't take your loser paper out on me. Is he out of water? I'm going to get him some water.

RORY

Paris, I'm sorry. The dedication's nice.

PARIS

Thanks. [She leaves while watching more girls hovering around Asher.] Oh, yes. Like they read.

DOYLE

Well, this was a royal waste of my time. However, there were cookies. Here, hold some so I don't look like a pig.

RORY

You didn't enjoy the reading?

DOYLE

I wasn't here to enjoy the reading. I was here to cover the reading for the paper to go along with the review of the book. And then I arrive only to realize that every single available girl at Yale is here, including four of my reporters.

RORY

I'm not here on paper business. I'm here because I enjoy books and because I read books.

DOYLE

Please.

RORY

I do.

DOYLE

And Paris?

RORY

She's with me.

DOYLE

And Anna and Cassie?

RORY

Point, Doyle.

DOYLE

Everybody's here because Fleming's an intellectual dreamboat.

RORY

Well, I'm not here for the dreamboat.

DOYLE

God, that man. He's got a constant rotation going. A new girl every year. Very young, of course. Last year it was Trey Myers. God, was she beautiful. She looked like what I always pictured a Swedish stewardess to be.

RORY

Really?

DOYLE

Yep. Then they broke up at the end of the term, and she rebounded with a drama major.

RORY

So, any idea who he's seeing now?

DOYLE

Actually, no. This year's girl is a bit of a mystery. Maybe he's already broken up with one, and he's trolling for another. [scoffs] My money's on the redhead. [They both observe the redhead still loitering near Asher.]

LORELAI

Hi. I'm looking for my father. Big guy, bow tie.

MAID

Mr. Gilmore's in the living room.

LORELAI

Thank you. [She enters the sitting room where Richard is seated reading a book.] Well, you're here.

RICHARD

Lorelai. I didn't know you were coming over.

LORELAI

I called.

RICHARD

Yes. Well, I haven't been in the mood to talk.

LORELAI

Well, we need to. [She sets her purse down on the coffee table.]

RICHARD

I felt like reading.

LORELAI

Why are you doing this, Dad?

RICHARD

Well, reading is good for you. You learn things.

LORELAI

Jason was your partner.

RICHARD

[inhales deeply] If we are going to discuss this, let's go into my office.

LORELAI

Jason was your partner, and he said he was gonna take care of it.

RICHARD

Lorelai...

LORELAI

Dad -- no, I'm fine talking right here. Jason said he was taking care of everything, and you didn't even give him a chance before you cut him out -

RICHARD

This is business.

LORELAI

No, you took everything from him, Dad. You're ruining his reputation. You're making it impossible for him to work.

RICHARD

I did what I had to do.

LORELAI

You didn't have to do this.

RICHARD

Well, thank you for your opinion.

LORELAI

That company was so horrible to you. They treated you like dirt, they forced you out, and you chose them over him?

RICHARD

I am not choosing anyone over -

LORELAI

I just don't understand why you would do this. Is it because of me? Are you taking this out on him because --

RICHARD

[raising his voice] Did you not hear what the man said? Did you not hear Floyd threaten to go after everything your mother and I have?

LORELAI

Yes -

RICHARD

Everything I've worked for. This house, our livelihood.

LORELAI

There has to be something else you can do. [Emily appears unnoticed at the top of the stairs.]

RICHARD

Go home, Lorelai.

LORELAI

No, Dad, please... I'm -- I'm sorry that I lied to you about dating Jason, but you can't destroy him like this. [Emily moves closer to listen, still unnoticed.]

RICHARD

I'm hardly destroying him.

LORELAI

You took his entire business. You've left him with nothing. He's talking about moving. Leaving.

RICHARD

So what?

LORELAI

[incredulous] So? I'm in a relationship with him.

RICHARD

Then go with him.

LORELAI

You know I can't go with him. I have a business, I have a house, I have Rory. I can't just pick up and leave.

RICHARD

Well, then, you've made your choice.

LORELAI

Dad, stop it.

RICHARD

I am tired of this, Lorelai. You've shown absolutely no concern about what happens to me, what happens to your mother. The only thing you care about is what happens to your boyfriend. And the worst part of it... is that I never expected you to act any differently. [Richard walks off. Lorelai, looking crushed, picks up her purse to leave.]

EMILY

Is it really necessary?

RICHARD

Is what really necessary?

EMILY

Going after Jason like this.

RICHARD

I didn't know you were a fan of Jason's.

EMILY

I'm not. I'm just concerned.

RICHARD

What are you concerned about, Emily?

EMILY

It took us a long time to get Lorelai back into this house, and she is dating Jason.

RICHARD

What are you saying?

EMILY

I worry that if you do this, you'll drive Lorelai away again. And if she goes, Rory might go.

RICHARD

She lied to us. To you. To me.

EMILY

I am very well aware of what she did.

RICHARD

The last time I checked, you didn't care for being lied to.

EMILY

Don't be condescending. I don't like being lied to.

RICHARD

[pointedly] We can't control what Lorelai will do. Rory won't go away. I'm doing what I have to do. [He returns to his reading, ending their conversation. Emily stands for a moment silently thinking, then leaves without a word.]

LANE

Who does she think she is? Just walking out of my house like she owned the place.

RORY

Your mom didn't just go out and get another kid.

LANE

Korea is where you go to get new kids. Ask anyone.

RORY

There has to be another explanation.

LANE

The explanation is -- I've been replaced.

RORY

You have not been replaced.

LANE

She was wearing my bunny sweater.

RORY

You hated that bunny sweater. That's why you left it there.

LANE

She also had my second-least-favorite scarf, and she was eating my apple.

RORY

What apple?

LANE

The apple my mother would have given me if I still lived there.

RORY

Which you don't by your own choice, might I add.

LANE

Now you're taking her side.

RORY

I'm not taking her side.

LANE

I've been replaced. Drop by when you're in town, meet your new best friend.

RORY

Lane...

LANE

Tip her well when she waits on you at Luke's. Head over to the church with her, share a pew.

RORY

Lane...

LANE

My mom has found a new daughter. I bet this one can needlepoint.

RORY

Look, I've got to go. Paris said I could use ten daytime minutes on her phone, and after that, her exorbitant prevailing rates apply, so I'll call you back when I get to my room.

LANE

Oh, wait, are you coming to the gig on Friday?

RORY

Gig? Yes. What time do you go on?

LANE

Eight o'clock. Which means 8:30.

RORY

Shoot. Friday night dinner.

LANE

Oh, I forgot.

RORY

I don't think I'll make it in time.

LANE

That's okay.

RORY

But I want to see your gig.

LANE

We will have other gigs. Of course, by that time the other Lane will be drumming in the band.

RORY

Well, as long as she's got a good downbeat.

LANE

Have you gone out for the pep squad yet?

RORY

I'll call you in a little while. Bye.

LANE

Bye.

RORY

Excuse me.

STUDENT 1

Oh, right. [He moves aside.] A B-minus. Oh, thank god.

RORY

Not bad. [She shuffles through the remaining papers.]

STUDENT 1

Are you kidding? A B-minus in Fleming's class is like... an "A" anywhere else in sane America. [Student 2 nods in agreement.] Let's celebrate. [They leave. Rory pulls her paper from stack and is startled to see "A - Excellent" written in red on the cover.]

LORELAI

College is loud!

RORY

Yes, it's part of our training. It's right up there with the bad food, the sleep deprivation, and how to hold your own hair while throwing up.

LORELAI

Awww. [She kisses Rory on the head as they walk to and sit down on the sofa.]

RORY

What are you doing here?

LORELAI

Inn stuff. I had to pick up hinges and doorknobs and faucets.

RORY

Oh, my.

LORELAI

And I figured, while I was in the 'hood, I'd drop this off. [She hands Rory her cell phone.]

RORY

Hey, thanks. [The music stops.]

LORELAI

You're welcome.

RORY

Hey, you didn't have to do that. You could have just given it to me at Friday night dinner.

LORELAI

[chuckles] I could have.

RORY

Unless you're not going to Friday night dinner. [Lorelai sighs.] You're not going to Friday night dinner.

LORELAI

Rory?

RORY

Why?

LORELAI

Things have gotten worse.

RORY

How could they be worse? They were already at worse.

LORELAI

Dad is going after Jason, and...it's complicated but it's really bad. And I went over there to try to talk to him about it, and he was horrible. He said awful things to me.

RORY

Like what?

LORELAI

Like things. It doesn't matter, but I -- I can't just go and sit there and make small talk and pretend that everything's okay.

RORY

Mom...

LORELAI

Because it's not okay.

RORY

You were mad, he was mad, you said some things...

LORELAI

No, Rory.

RORY

No. Now, I don't doubt that it was bad. You and Grandpa can make each other crazy, but maybe once he calmed down, he was sorry.

LORELAI

He is not sorry.

RORY

You could be wrong. Maybe if we go over there and give him a chance to make it right, he would.

LORELAI

Oh, boy, honey, you're living in fuzzy-puppy land.

RORY

Mom, it's really important to me that you don't back out of Friday night dinners. They're the only time that the whole family gets together. Sometimes it's the only time that I get to see you, and I like having it there. It's really important to me.

LORELAI

Rory, come on.

RORY

I'm serious. Please, just give him a chance to make it up to you. Please. I'll be there. I'll be your buffer.

LORELAI

[laughs] You will, huh?

RORY

Absolutely. They can focus on me, you can focus on me...

LORELAI

What about when he throws his glass of water in my face?

RORY

Then I will get very wet.

LORELAI

I'm holding you to that.

RORY

Yep. [The loud music from upstairs begins again. They both look up.]

LORELAI

Wow.

LANE

[calling into the kitchen] Caesar, I need a turkey burger, fries well-done, and I'm still waiting for that grilled cheese and tomato.

CAESAR

Patience is a virtue.

LANE

Light a candle, and tell it to the pope. I want my grilled cheese, pronto. [She grabs the coffee pot and prepares to make the rounds.]

KIRK

Excuse me, Lane?

LANE

Uh, yes, Kirk.

KIRK

I'm a little confused.

LANE

About what, Kirk?

KIRK

Well, I'm looking at this flier you gave me, and what exactly do you have to do to get the sandwich?

LANE

What?

KIRK

I mean, does everyone who shows up get a sandwich, or is it first come, first sandwich?

LANE

Oh, that's a mistake. The sandwich isn't supposed to be there.

KIRK

What are you saying?

LANE

I'm saying that's just a flier for our band. We're playing Friday at 8:30.

KIRK

So, there's no sandwiches.

LANE

No.

KIRK

Then, why would I go?

LANE

To hear some great music.

KIRK

Oh. Can I bring my own sandwich?

LUKE

Hey, Lane? [Lane approaches the counter where Luke is leaning.] I know it's time for your break now, but is it okay if I let Caesar take his?

LANE

He owes me a grilled cheese.

LUKE

I'll do it. He's gotta run to the bank or something. To be honest, I wasn't paying too much attention, 'cause he was bugging me.

LANE

No problem. [Ceasar appears and hands Lane the grilled cheese plate.]

LUKE

Thanks.

LANE

I'm taking my 10! [She plunks down the plate and rushes out the diner door.]

KIRK

[He looks at the abandoned plate on the nearby empty table.] That looks like it travels well.

LANE

Hey.

KOREAN GIRL

[startled] Oh.

LANE

Who are you?

KOREAN GIRL

[Korean accent] Hi.

LANE

What are you doing here?

KOREAN GIRL

Where?

LANE

Why are you living in my house?

KOREAN GIRL

Your house?

LANE

That house right there. It's mine.

KOREAN GIRL

I'm staying there.

LANE

Why? Are we related?

KOREAN GIRL

I hope not.

LANE

How do you know Mrs. Kim?

KOREAN GIRL

I am exchange student from Seoul. I'm here for three months, and Mrs. Kim is my host.

LANE

Exchange student, huh?

KOREAN GIRL

Yes. Who are you?

LANE

I'm Mrs. Kim's daughter. She did tell you she had a daughter, right?

KOREAN GIRL

Yes.

LANE

Well, she does, and it's me. So, you can try whatever tricks you want. I will always be her daughter.

KOREAN GIRL

Why are you so mad?

LANE

Because you stole my life.

KOREAN GIRL

I did not steal your life.

LANE

You're living in my room. You're wearing my clothes. And don't tell me you always looked like that. [The girl starts yelling in Korean.] I'm not very crazy! [The girl continues speaking excitedly in Korean.] How would you like it if I moved into your house?! [Still yelling in Korean, the girl turns to leave.] Why don't you just go back home?!

KOREAN GIRL

Mrs. Kim...[Yelling the remainder in Korean, she runs back to Mrs. Kim's house.]

LANE

[calls after her] You don't have to feel sorry for Mrs. Kim! Mrs. Kim is fine! And give me back my sweater, and my second-least-favorite scarf!

ASHER

On Tuesday, we'll continue our look at "Neglect of the Individual" as a hallmark of modern government. Be prepared to discuss Kafka's "The Trial." Yes, if, uh, if all goes well, it'll get very ugly. Thank you, everyone. [The class chuckles as they all rise to leave. Rory walks past Asher's desk on her way out.] Oh, very nice job on your paper, Miss Gilmore.

RORY

Oh, thank you. [She pauses.] You know, Professor Fleming, I was actually a little surprised by my grade.

ASHER

Were you? Well, you deserved it. You did good work.

RORY

To be honest, I don't feel like I did.

ASHER

Ah, a perfectionist.

RORY

No, I'm not a perfectionist. I just know when I do well and when I don't.

ASHER

You know, this sounds as if you're questioning your grade.

RORY

Well, maybe I am.

ASHER

Well, this is a first. Today alone, I've heard complaints from, uh... two "D"s, four "C"s, and an "F," but, uh, not from an "A." In fact, in 35 years of teaching, I've never heard from an "A."

RORY

I just want to be sure that the grade I got is... what I deserve.

ASHER

What exactly are you saying, Miss Gilmore?

RORY

Just that if the grade I got wasn't... legitimately earned, then I have no interest in it.

ASHER

Oh, how very noble of you.

RORY

I intend to earn all of my grades. I don't want any favors.

ASHER

And why exactly would you think that I'd be inclined to grant you any favors?

RORY

I'm not saying that you are --

ASHER

You're not? Oh, then I must have misunderstood this conversation.

RORY

I'm just saying that --

ASHER

Yes?

RORY

That I want to earn all of my grades.

ASHER

Yes, you've already said that.

RORY

No matter how many "wise, willful, and wonderful women" I know.

ASHER

Have you quite finished?

RORY

I suppose I am. [She turns to leave.]

ASHER

Oh, before you go any further, Miss Gilmore, let me assure you that I do not give grades that are not earned. I gave you an "A" because your argument was well-structured, your writing was clear and concise, and you drew a connection from Marsilius of Padua to Machiavelli to the modern age of media that PhD candidates would envy. In fact, no one else's paper was that thoroughly researched. Except for the other person who also got an "A." You did what was demanded, and you did it well. And I would seriously caution you not to question my grading tactics again.

RORY

Okay. Thanks for the "A." [She pauses at the door before leaving.] And the redhead has fat thighs. [Asher slams his briefcase closed looking a bit perturbed.]

RORY

Come on.

LORELAI

Hey, hey, there's no hurry. We're early.

RORY

Yes, but we're here, so we might as well go in and get it over with.

LORELAI

Okay, just relax, why don't you? I would like to stop and smell the roses if you don't mind.

RORY

Mom...

LORELAI

You're young. You don't understand these things. I'm old, I'm dying, I'm gonna smell a rose. Oh, I don't see a rose. I think there's one next door.

RORY

You're being a tad ridiculous. Come on.

LORELAI

[morosely] On a scale of one to a million, how awful do you think tonight's gonna be?

RORY

Well, how high a number did you think the walk up the driveway was?

LORELAI

Ugh. You know, I wonder which tact my dad's gonna pick tonight. I bet he goes with the silent treatment.

RORY

Or maybe...he won't.

LORELAI

Yeah, you're right. He might prefer the full-on, frontal assault. You know, just constant mental flogging right from "dingdong" through till "drive safe."

RORY

Well, at least he said "drive safe."

LORELAI

Oh, no. It wasn't him. It was the maid.

RORY

Right.

LORELAI

Or maybe Dad will be fine, and Emily will be on the attack. Yeah, a little good cop/bad cop if you know what I mean. Keep me on my toes. I won't be expecting that.

RORY

Except that you are. Ready? [She reaches for the doorbell.]

LORELAI

[She stops Rory.] Okay -- wait, just wait -- we can still leave.

RORY

No.

LORELAI

Rory... right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."

RORY

I will be right beside you, okay?

LORELAI

Okay. But I'm telling you... if my dad gets ugly, I'm out of there.

RICHARD

Lorelai. Rory. You're early. [He is surprised.]

RORY

Yeah, no traffic.

RICHARD

No? Well, that's very -- uh, come in. [He appears distracted/]

RICHARD

Did you hit much traffic? [He is animatedly jovial.]

RORY

Um...no. No traffic at all.

RICHARD

Well, good. Uh, nothing like an hour stuck in traffic to ruin your complete day.

LORELAI

Heh.

RICHARD

Should I take your coats?

LORELAI

That's okay. We can just put them here. [She settles her coat beside her.]

RICHARD

All right. Well, you're early, so I'm not quite organized yet, but, uh, shall we have some drinks?

LORELAI

Okay.

RICHARD

All right. [He bounces to the bar table.] There's no ice. Do we need ice?

LORELAI

Uh. [shrugs]

RICHARD

[laughs] Of course we need ice. There's some in the kitchen. I'll go get it.

RORY

Okay. [Richard exits.] He doesn't seem mad.

LORELAI

All depends on which definition of "mad" you're going with.

LORELAI

Mom...

EMILY

Lorelai. Rory. You're early. [She tries to hide her surprise.]

RORY

Um, yeah, we didn't hit any traffic, so...

EMILY

Well, I-it's nice to see you. [She approaches and deposits her coat on the back of the sofa.]

LORELAI

Where were you?

EMILY

When?

LORELAI

Just now.

EMILY

O-oh, well, I had to run out to the store.

LORELAI

To get what?

EMILY

They were out.

RICHARD

Emily... the girls are early.

EMILY

I see that. Is that ice?

RICHARD

Yes. We need it to make the drinks. [He spills ice on the carpet.] Oh, shoot.

EMILY

You should take the bucket into the kitchen the next time. [Her purse is still slung over her shoulder as she picks up scattered ice.]

RICHARD

Yes, that would've been the smart thing to do. Well, I was making drinks.

EMILY

So, uh, Rory, how is school? [She is animatedly cheerful.]

RORY

It's fine. Um, I just got an "A" on a paper.

EMILY

Oh, well, that's wonderful.

LORELAI

You gonna let go of that purse, Mom?

EMILY

What?

LORELAI

Well, you're holding pretty tightly to your purse there. You look like someone's Tante Flickman.

EMILY

Oh, well, I, uh, just...there. [She reluctantly sets the purse beside her.]

LORELAI

Okay.

EMILY

It's new.

LORELAI

The purse?

EMILY

Yes, it's new. I'm trying to break it in.

LORELAI

Sure. Otherwise, you'd get blisters.

RICHARD

Well, here we are. [He approaches with a full tray of drinks and passes them out.] Lorelai.

LORELAI

Thank you.

RICHARD

And soda for Rory. Emily? Well, good. [With an awkward pause, he moves to stand behind Emily.] Uh, so...Cheers.

LORELAI

Cheers.

RORY

Cheers.

EMILY

Cheers.

RICHARD

So, Rory, how's school?

RORY

Fine. I just got an "A" on a...paper.

RICHARD

Oh.

LORELAI

Has she told you about the traffic?

MAID

Dinner's ready.

LORELAI

It is?

EMILY

[She checks her watch.] It's only just 7:00 now.

MAID

Oh, I'm sorry. What time did you want dinner? You didn't tell me, so...

EMILY

You know what? It's all right. We'll just eat now.

LORELAI

Now?

RORY

Okay.

LORELAI

But what do we do with our -

EMILY

Just take your drinks to the table. [She rises to leave.]

LORELAI

[incredulous] Take our drinks to the -

RICHARD

Oh, I'll grab the cocktail napkins. [He rushes off to the dining room.]

LORELAI

But - Mom, you left your purse.

EMILY

Oh, yes.

LORELAI

Mom.

EMILY

What?

LORELAI

I was just kidding, Mom.

EMILY

[cheerfully] Oh, you. [She leaves the room.]

LORELAI

Uh, okay, so every time they ask you about school or traffic, just do a shot.

RORY

Shh. [They both rise to follow Emily and Richard to the dining room.]

LORELAI

Thank you. [After a long silent pause while the maid clears the rest of the dishes, Lorelai clears her throat.] So, what's for dessert?

EMILY

We're not having dessert.

RORY

We're not?

EMILY

I-I'm on a diet.

RICHARD

Americans are extremely fat.

LORELAI

I think they prefer Rubenesque.

RORY

You're not fat, Grandma.

EMILY

Well, thank you, Lorelai. [Rory looks at Lorelai, who shrugs.]

LORELAI

She was close. [They all sit in silence at the long empty table.] Well, okay. If we're not having dessert, then... we should go?

EMILY

All right. [She tosses down her napkin and quickly rises.]

RICHARD

See you next Friday

EMILY

Thank you for coming.

RORY

Oh. Thank you for having us.

EMILY

Oh, wait. The Gordons' gave us some wonderful chocolate last week. They brought it back from Belgium. You can take it with you. [She exits to the kitchen.]

LORELAI

No, Mom, that's okay. We're fine.

RICHARD

These are really good chocolates, Lorelai.

LORELAI

I'm sure they are, Dad.

RICHARD

[calling out] Did you find them, Emily?

RORY

Grandpa, we can just get them next time.

RICHARD

[cheerfully] Oh, nonsense. You can eat them on the way home. Emily?

EMILY

Here they are. I've got them. [She hands each of them an elegant paper bag.] One for you and one for you. Enjoy.

LORELAI

We will. [There is a long pause as they stand awkwardly together in the dining room.] Okay, uh... we're leaving now. Have a good evening and get some sleep.

EMILY

All right. [Lorelai gestures to hurry Rory as they exit the room.]

RICHARD

Good night. [Emily waves. Neither of them follows Lorelai and Rory to the door.]

LORELAI

What the hell was that?

RORY

I don't know.

LORELAI

Jack Nicholson and Angelina Jolie just kicked us out with parting gifts.

RORY

Dessert to go.

LORELAI

As much as the thought of an early end to Friday night dinner and dessert for the road appeals to me, that was just weird.

RORY

[She looks inside her paper bag.] She made a tin-foil swan.

LORELAI

What was up with the drinks and the dinner she knew nothing about, and where was she coming from, anyhow?

RORY

I don't know.

LORELAI

She had to "run to the store." Since when?

RORY

I don't know.

LORELAI

And she came back with nothing. Ooh, and the purse. Did you notice the purse?

RORY

They say people change as they get older. I just didn't think it was all in one week.

LORELAI

There is something wrong here. [She notices a car parked in the driveway.] Why is my mother's car here?

RORY

She was in a hurry?

LORELAI

My mother never parks her car in the driveway, because the car might drip oil and make a spot on the concrete, and then life as we know it would end. [She approaches the car and looks in the windows.]

RORY

What are you doing?

LORELAI

Just seeing what's in her car.

RORY

Why?

LORELAI

Because -- I don't know. I just feel like something's up. [She hears a noise.] She's coming.

RORY

Who?

LORELAI

Mom. Hurry. [She rushes to hide in bushes, pulling Rory with her.]

RORY

What are you doing? Good shoes, good shoes, good shoes.

LORLELAI

She's leaving.

RORY

Where's she going?

LORLELAI

I don't know. She left her house with dry cleaning, and she drove off?

RORY

She was meeting friends?

LORELAI

Tonight? After dinner?

RORY

Maybe?

LORELAI

[sighs] I'm sorry. This might be crazy, but... is my mom not staying here tonight?

RORY

Well...

LANE

Great gig! Awesome gig!

ZACK

[He grins at Brian.] You're starting to wheeze on the beat, dude.

BRIAN

I've been practicing.

GIL

Man, I am feeling it. We have hit the next level.

LANE

We have, haven't we?

GIL

You heard the crowd.

ZACK

Dude, what was with the shirt raise?

GIL

Hey, man, when I'm playing like that, there is no room for clothes.

ZACK

We need a sign, 'cause I was staring right at you when you took it off. I felt like putting a buck in your pants.

GIL

Hey, I wouldn't turn it down.

WOMAN

Brian, honey!

BRIAN

[He walks over to a table.] Hey, Mom.

BRIAN'S DAD

You kids were excellent.

BRIAN

Thanks, Dad. Hey, Aunt Susan. Hey...Turner.

TURNER

[He is dressed as Zorro.] Hey, Brian.

BRIAN'S MOM

I brought carrot sticks. You want a carrot stick, Brian?

BRIAN

Yeah, thanks.

LANE

He really does wear a Zorro costume.

GIL

I gotta go find my wife. [He leaves.]

LANE

I'm so jazzed right now. That was great! We have never played that good. [Zack and Lane sit on the edge of the stage.]

ZACK

You've never played that good.

LANE

Really? [Zack nods.] You've never given me a compliment, ever.

ZACK

What am I, your mother? [They both laugh.] Ew.

LANE

What? [Zack points to a corner where Gil is passionately kissing a slinky dressed woman.] Oh.

ZACK

Who is that?

LANE

I think it's his wife.

ZACK

Seriously, that is just wrong.

LANE

He should celebrate. We all should celebrate. Stay out all night, hit the clubs, and talk about our Rolling Stones cover -- "Garden of Eden" theme.

SHANNON

Hi, Zack.

ZACK

Shannon.

SHANNON

You remembered?

ZACK

I can read a napkin, sweetheart. [to the second girl] Nice pants.

GIRL 2

You're a god.

ZACK

And we shall discuss this further at the bar. [He puts an arm around each girl and they walks off together.] So, what did you think of the lyrics?

LORELAI

So, I spent all morning on the phone calling every hotel in the area with a decent high tea, and there she was. Grafton Hotel, room 421. Check-out date indefinite.

JASON

I'm sorry.

LORELAI

I can't believe my parents are separated. I mean, I dreamed about this as a kid. Of course, my scenario also involved my mother finding her inner Timothy Leary and moving us all out to a commune in Berkeley, but still... I was convinced that these people should not be together, but you know what? I was wrong. Richard and Emily Gilmore were made for each other. God, this is so...freaky. And I'm not supposed to know, and of course we won't talk about it, because we don't do that in our family. We repress everything, and we refuse to go to therapy, because why tell a stranger your problems, when you can use them to punish those around you? So, what now? Every Friday I'm supposed to pretend that they still live together, and then after we leave, my mother will get in her car and drive back to the hotel? The hotel. My mother's living in a hotel. It's weird. It's just incredibly weird. [sighs] I'm sorry. I just needed to vent.

JASON

You have every right.

LORELAI

I'm done now. There's nothing I can do about them, so... [sighs] Talk to me. You were gonna tell me something.

JASON

I'm suing your father. [Lorelai scoffs softly.] I have to, Lorelai.

LORELAI

No, you don't.

JASON

I've gone over it. I've weighed every option. I have to respond. I cannot just sit here and do nothing when my entire career is going up in flames.

LORELAI

Jason, please. Don't do this.

JASON

Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe he'll settle.

LORELAI

He won't settle.

JASON

It's just business.

LORELAI

Oh, my God. I'm so sick of hearing people say that.

JASON

You know I wouldn't do this if I didn't have to.

LORELAI

You don't have to.

JASON

If I intend to continue working in my chosen profession, then, yeah, I have to.

LORELAI

Don't be just a business guy. Put this on another level. Please.

JASON

I can't.

LORELAI

Unbelievable.

JASON

Lorelai... I have no choice. I have to fight back.

LORELAI

Jason...

JASON

I will keep you out of this. I promise.

LORELAI

[pauses] I can't be with someone who's suing my family.

JASON

Lorelai, come on.

LORELAI

I'm sorry.

JASON

You saw what your father did to me.

LORELAI

I know what he did to you.

JASON

And he is not gonna stop until there's nothing left.

LORELAI

I'm asking you not to do this.

JASON

Ask me something else. Anything else.

LORELAI

This is what I want.

JASON

You know how hard I work. My job is who I am. I can't lose everything. You have to understand why I'm doing this.

LORELAI

I do understand. But I can't be with someone who's suing my family.

JASON

Lorelai... [After a long pause, Lorelai quietly picks up her purse and walks out without looking back.]