T4E4: “Chicken or Beef?”

LORELAI

Oh, crap! [tries to turn off the alarm]

RORY

What's going on? Is it the smoke detector? Are we on fire?

LORELAI

It's not the smoke detector, it's the alarm!

RORY

What alarm?

LORELAI

Our alarm.

RORY

We don't have an alarm.

LORELAI

Well, then, we have really angry rats. Did you cut your hair?

RORY

Well, I just trimmed it.

LORELAI

You didn't tell me you were cutting your hair.

RORY

It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.

LORELAI

A spur-of-the-moment, "let's not tell my mother I'm pulling a G.I. Jane"?

RORY

Are we seriously gonna have this conversation now during the air raid?

LORELAI

You're right. Come on. [leads her to the other side of the room]

RORY

What are we doing?

LORELAI

I figured out that there is a motion detector, and if you stand over here, it can't see you and calms down.

RORY

Great, so what now?

LORELAI

We wait. So why didn't you tell me you were getting your hair cut?

RORY

It's just a trim.

LORELAI

To the Braille Institute, it's just a trim.

RORY

Do you like it?

LORELAI

Will you put it back if I don't?

RORY

Mom!

LORELAI

Yes, I like it.

RORY

Thank you.

RORY

Oh, thank God.

LORELAI

Feels good when it's over, huh?

RORY

This is crazy. When did we get an alarm?

LORELAI

Well, apparently, Kirk...

RORY

Oh, no.

LORELAI

...has recently joined the Stars Hollow Security Company.

RORY

Oh, no.

LORELAI

And apparently, now that I'm the pretty spinster living all alone, he's concerned for my safety.

RORY

Did he tell you all this?

LORELAI

Do you think I labeled myself the pretty spinster?

RORY

What did you say?

LORELAI

I haven't talked to him face-to-face. I come home to this and there was a note and his card and his gun.

RORY

Oh, jeez!

LORELAI

Yeah, and then when I called the alarm-response center to complain about the alarm, no one answered. I had to leave a message with Meg - she sweeps up.

RORY

I can't even believe there's a security company in Stars Hollow. Nothing ever happens here.

LORELAI

Oh, that is not true. Plenty happens here.

RORY

Like what?

LORELAI

Like, people now break into your houses and install alarm systems.

RORY

I heard about that.

LORELAI

And we have a new mail carrier.

RORY

We do?

LORELAI

Yeah, so now if you wanna get your mail, you just have to go see Miss Patty.

RORY

Why?

LORELAI

'Cause that's where he brings it. He brings Babette's mail to Andrew's, Norma's mail to the deli, and Taylor still hasn't found his mail, which I have to admit is kind of fun.

RORY

I rescind my previous statement. This place is hopping.

LORELAI

So, did you eat yet?

RORY

Nope. I thought I'd let you feed me.

LORELAI

Sure. I can feed you, but I can't know if you're getting your hair cut.

RORY

I will never do anything again without telling you - happy?

LORELAI

I don't know. I'm finding this whole guilt thing rather satisfying. [Rory starts to walk away] No, no, where are you going? [The alarm starts blaring again] Agh! Why did you do that?

RORY

I was gonna get my laundry!

LORELAI

You made it mad!

RORY

I didn't mean to!

LORELAI

Back in the corner, back in the corner!

RORY

Oh.

LORELAI

No place like home, huh?

RORY

Yeah.

RORY

Mom?

LORELAI

Follow the Post-It's.

RORY

Does our life seem at all ridiculous to you?

LORELAI

I spent all morning carefully tracking that motion detector.

RORY

What an excellent use of your time.

LORELAI

We're good as long as we stay on the path.

RORY

So I should follow the yellow stick road?

LORELAI

We'll be here all week, try the veal. Stop.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

Read.

RORY

"Crouch down and hop." Oh, come on.

LORELAI

The motion-detector beam at the top of the staircase dips very low over there.

RORY

You seriously want me to crouch down and hop?

LORELAI

Like a little hunchbacked bunny.

RORY

You know, I had decided that if I ever went to therapy, I was gonna leave you out of it, but now...

LORELAI

Okay, you can stand up.

RORY

Did you at least call the stupid security company again?

LORELAI

Yes, Meg sends her love. Don't worry - I'll stop by on my way to the inn. And what are your plans today, Persis Khambata?

RORY

Well, today, I'm going to do nothing but hang out in town, read, veg, drink coffee, and have the perfect Stars Hollow day.

LORELAI

Look out. I get to go over to the inn and hear a contractor laugh at me every time I say, "But that won't cost too much more, right?"

RORY

Enjoy.

LORELAI

Late lunch at Luke's?

RORY

You're on. So, uh, which way do I go?

LORELAI

Oh, just follow the Post-It's.

RORY

But they're going in two different directions.

LORELAI

They are?

RORY

Look.

LORELAI

Oh. I must have kicked some out of the way by accident.

RORY

Well, which one do I take?

LORELAI

Which looks more intentional?

RORY

No Post-It path looks intentional.

LORELAI

I'm drawing a complete blank.

RORY

You seriously don't remember?

LORELAI

Sorry.

RORY

Well, how are we supposed to get out of our house?

LORELAI

Unng!

RORY

I hate Kirk.

RORY

Whoa. What's going on?

MAN

I'm just setting things up for tomorrow.

RORY

Oh, tomorrow. What's -

MAN 2

Heads up!

RORY

Whoa.

MAN

I think you may need to move.

RORY

Yeah, I kinda got that. Excuse me. What's tomorrow?

LINDSAY

...tons of tulle so that everything looks like frosting.

MRS. LISTER

She's our only daughter - frost the town.

LINDSAY

Now, where should we put the poster? I want to make sure everybody sees it.

MRS. LISTER

Oh, what about next to the cake?

LINDSAY

Yes, next to the cake.

RORY

Lane.

LANE

Rory.

RORY

Have you heard of a phone? Because as my friend, it is your responsibility to use it to call me and tell me that my ex-boyfriend's wedding is on Sunday so I'm not accidentally in it.

LANE

What?

RORY

I'm sitting out in the gazebo, reading, and this guy almost brains me with a stack of tablecloths.

LANE

Oh, that's right, they're having their reception in the town square.

RORY

Yes, and Lindsay was out there holding a giant picture of her with Dean, and...

LANE

Oh my God, did she see you?

RORY

I don't think so. I do a pretty good idiot run when I need to.

LANE

I'm sorry, I meant to tell you. I just didn't know you were coming home this weekend. It totally slipped my mind. Things have been so crazy. I just figured I'd tell you when we talked, and then we didn't, and... oh, I'm sorry, can you hold on for a sec?

ZACH

Not cool, Lane.

LANE

I'm sorry, guys.

BRIAN

Fourth time today.

LANE

Well, I thought Rory was my mom.

ZACH

The resemblance is uncanny.

BRIAN

We should get your mom a bell like a cat.

RORY

What's going on?

LANE

We're having a band meeting. We need to figure out what to do about a guitarist.

BRIAN

I think I got a splinter.

ZACH

You know that a splinter can get into your bloodstream, go straight to your heart, and kill you.

BRIAN

Why would you tell me that?

ZACH

Whatever, dude. This is lame. I'm gonna bail.

LANE

Zach, come on.

BRIAN

We need to find a guitarist.

LANE

That's right. We have come too far to let the band fall apart just because Dave -

ZACH

Hey, do not say the "d" word, Lane.

LANE

But -

ZACH

Don't.

LANE

Dave -

ZACH

Dave is dead to me. Comprendo? Dead. Cover the mirror, rip a shirt, that guy doesn't exist.

BRIAN

He just went to college, Zach.

ZACH

No, he did not just go to college. He walked out on his art, man. He walked out on his sound. Do you think a sound is so easy to find? Did you ever see that Glenn Miller movie? For two hours, Jimmy Stewart's walking around, "I gotta find a sound. I gotta find a sound." Well, we had a sound and Dave took that sound to freaking California. You don't come back from California, man. It changes you.

LANE

What did you expect him to do - not go to college?

ZACH

No true rock 'n' roller goes to college!

RORY

Mick Jagger went to the London School of Economics.

ZACH

What?

RORY

Yeah, and, uh, Dexter Holland of The Offspring got his PhD in molecular biology at USC. Greg Ginn of Black Flag graduated from UCLA. The guy from Bad Religion got his masters in geology from UCLA, and he's working on his PhD in evolutionary biology at Cornell.

ZACH

Lane, she's your friend.

RORY

I'm sorry. Um, I'm going. I'll call you later.

LANE

Hey, are you mad?

RORY

No, I'm not, I promise. I'm just - I'm just a little surprised. I mean, Dean's wedding...

LANE

I know.

RORY

But it's okay. It just means that I have to be a little more careful about where I go this weekend, that's all.

LANE

Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow. We're using the garage - guitar auditions.

RORY

Okay, I'll see you tomorrow.

ZACH

Shut up, shut up, shut up. Weezer did not go to Harvard.

BRIAN

Not the whole band, just the lead -

ZACH

Get away from me! I mean it.

RORY

Bye.

LANE

Bye.

RORY

Hi.

DEAN

Hi. Uh, were you...

RORY

Oh, I was at, uh, Lane's.

DEAN

Right, Lane's. Um.

RORY

Um.

DEAN

So, you're home this weekend.

RORY

Yeah, I, uh, I ran out of clean clothes and quarters, so... how are things?

DEAN

Good. You?

RORY

Good.

DEAN

You like Yale?

RORY

I love Yale.

DEAN

I figured.

RORY

And Connecticut State?

DEAN

It's... it's good.

RORY

Oh, good. I'm glad it's good. I mean, not that I would have had any recourse if it wasn't, but, uh, this makes my lack of recourse a lot easier to deal with. So, I see you've taken over the town.

DEAN

Oh, yeah. Uh, well, Lindsay thought... she likes the gazebo, and...

RORY

And it's her wedding.

DEAN

It is her wedding.

RORY

And your wedding. I mean, it's your wedding, too.

DEAN

Yes, it is. It's my wedding, too.

RORY

Well, it's nice. It's, um, it's pretty. It looks like heaven or a Victoria's Secret commercial, which, to some people is basically the same thing.

DEAN

I didn't know you'd be home this weekend.

RORY

It was just a spur-of-the-moment thing.

DEAN

Because if I had known, I would have, you know, invited you.

RORY

Oh. Oh, well, it's...

DEAN

I mean, I didn't want you to think I was just not inviting you.

RORY

No, I didn't think that.

DEAN

I just figured you'd be at school.

RORY

'Cause you're logical.

DEAN

I just didn't know.

RORY

No, I know you didn't know.

DEAN

I didn't want you to think -

RORY

No, I didn't think. I don't think. I go to Yale now. They think for you.

DEAN

But, hey, since you are here, come.

RORY

Come?

DEAN

To my wedding. Come to my wedding.

RORY

Oh, Dean...

DEAN

You and Lorelai, I want you to.

RORY

Well...

DEAN

Chicken or beef?

RORY

What?

DEAN

Wait, beef. Of course, beef. I mean, the two of you are definitely beef. I mean, not like you resemble beef or anything.

RORY

You know, you don't even have to -

DEAN

Okay, so, noon at the church. I'll be the one in the tux. And don't worry, we didn't write our own vows and no one's singing opera. I know you think that's lame.

RORY

Oh, no, well, it's a wedding. It's supposed to be... operatic.

DEAN

Okay, so, I better get over there. Lindsay's expecting me. Uh, so, I'll just see you two tomorrow.

RORY

But...

KIRK

[calls from upstairs] Now?

LORELAI

Nothing.

KIRK

What about now?

LORELAI

No, nothing.

KIRK

Okay. Now?

LORELAI

Nothing. Kirk, what's supposed to happen?

KIRK

What?

LORELAI

I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking for. Kirk?

KIRK

I'm not sure.

LORELAI

Kirk, please come downstairs.

KIRK

Are you going to hurt me?

LORELAI

Kirk.

KIRK

[walking downstairs] I swear, they told me it would be self-explanatory. I just had to get in the main box, and in seconds, this thing would be disabled. They didn't tell me that I needed a key or that if I didn't have a key, that I would be mildly electrocuted, and then, after all that, when I got in the box, there's nothing self-explanatory about it.

LORELAI

Kirk.

KIRK

I was trying to do a nice thing.

LORELAI

I know.

KIRK

And Jimmy said he would install it for me because I do not have those skills yet. The class was full by the time I got there.

LORELAI

That's okay.

KIRK

Damn my constant tardiness.

LORELAI

Kirk, please, what can we do right now? The alarm is just so loud.

KIRK

Yeah, that's my fault, too. I asked Jimmy to really crank it up.

LORELAI

Well, he did.

KIRK

If you're gonna have an alarm, you need it loud. You don't want some crazed, knife-wielding gunman at your throat and the neighbors are going, like, "Is that a fan? Did I leave the water running?" You want them to know, "Hey, that's an alarm."

LORELAI

Your imaginary attacker has a knife and a gun?

KIRK

And a really dirty tank top.

LORELAI

Okay. So, uh, Jimmy's out of town, but until he gets back, we can...

KIRK

Change the code.

LORELAI

Really? To something I know?

KIRK

You can pick it.

LORELAI

You know how to do that?

KIRK

Yes, I do.

LORELAI

That is perfect.

KIRK

Okay, here we go. Just punch in a 7-number sequence.

LORELAI

You got it.

SOOKIE

Hey.

LORELAI

Hi.

SOOKIE

Did you know your phone's not working?

LORELAI

What?

SOOKIE

I've been calling you for an hour. I had the operator check it. She said it's cut off or something.

LORELAI

It was working this morning.

KIRK

I'll be right back.

LORELAI

Kirk!

KIRK

I have tape. [goes upstairs]

SOOKIE

You look tired.

LORELAI

Yeah, well, Kirk.

SOOKIE

Right. Hey, listen, I got a call today.

LORELAI

From?

SOOKIE

Michel. A very upset Michel.

LORELAI

Why?

SOOKIE

Well, apparently, he called you and you never called him back.

LORELAI

When did he call me?

SOOKIE

He said he called you in July.

LORELAI

I was in Europe in July.

SOOKIE

I think that he thinks we're trying to ease him out of the Dragonfly.

LORELAI

Oh, come on. Why would he think that?

SOOKIE

I don't know, but he was so hysterical that his voice got into that high-pitched squeal he does, and all I could make out was "fire" and "abandon me" and something about not receiving a thank-you card for the Statue of Liberty.

LORELAI

That is crazy. He knows we always intended to take him with us. I mean, we love Michel, right?

SOOKIE

Right. He's the best concierge in the world.

LORELAI

Absolutely. A little abrasive.

SOOKIE

Kind of impatient.

LORELAI

But charming.

SOOKIE

And great at what he does, knows the community.

LORELAI

Willing to go that extra mile.

SOOKIE

Tiny bit obnoxious.

LORELAI

Makes you want to scream, "life's too short!" two, three times a day, but...

SOOKIE

Picture life without him. We do need him, right?

LORELAI

Let's just go down there and talk to him.

SOOKIE

Right.

LORELAI

Well, we know where all those Calvin Klein ads went to die.

SOOKIE

They look like they all had the same mother.

LORELAI

That must be one tired supermodel.

LORELAI

Excuse me, we're look-

LORELAI

I wouldn't talk to us either.

SOOKIE

Hey, talk to a boy. A boy will be nice to you.

LORELAI

Okay.

LORELAI

Hi. Excuse me, we're looking for Michel Gerard.

CONCIERGE

The corner of Mercer and Broom.

LORELAI

Excuse me?

LORELAI

Oh, Janet Jackson's on the phone.

SOOKIE

Oh.

CONCIERGE

Uh huh, no worries. Hi.

SOOKIE

Us?

CONCIERGE

Yes.

LORELAI

Oh.

SOOKIE

We're looking for Michel Gerard.

CONCIERGE

Michel.

SOOKIE

Yes, Michel Ger... Janet again.

LORELAI

She's very needy lately.

CONCIERGE

You have some guests at the front desk. Uh-huh. No worries. He comes like the wind.

LORELAI

Thanks. He doesn't need our thanks.

SOOKIE

Well, he has Janet, so...

MICHEL

You have reservations at Tamtam at 7:00. Do not order the duck because it will take forever and you will miss the curtain. If you have any problems at all, you have my pager number. Just call me. Goodbye. [to Lorelai and Sookie] Well, look who the cat dragged in.

LORELAI

Hi, Michel. We've missed you.

MICHEL

Yes? Well, I have missed you, too.

LORELAI

This place is wonderful.

SOOKIE

You look so important, walking around, talking to yourself. But you're not really talking to yourself. You're actually talking to someone else in a headset with your headset.

LORELAI

How are you?

MICHEL

Me? I am wonderful, and yourselves?

LORELAI

We're great, and we're breaking ground on the inn on Monday.

MICHEL

Oh, yes. Is that still happening?

LORELAI

It is still happening.

MICHEL

Well, that's lovely. There's a small charge for the use of the internet. All instructions are in the minibar. I'm so pleased.

LORELAI

Listen, Michel, I know you're a little upset with me.

MICHEL

Upset? I don't think so.

SOOKIE

It's okay, I told her about the call.

MICHEL

What call?

SOOKIE

The call you made to me yesterday, the one where you told me that you called Lorelai and she didn't call back.

MICHEL

I make so many calls.

SOOKIE

The one where you cried.

MICHEL

Are you sure it wasn't another Michel?

SOOKIE

You called me! You kept me on the phone for over an hour. I missed the beginning of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and by the time I got back, they were all gay.

LORELAI

Okay, it doesn't matter. We just want you to know if there was any misunderstanding about wanting you to come with us to the Dragonfly, well, we're sorry.

SOOKIE

I'm not.

MICHEL

Well, that's very sweet of you to say. Thank you.

LORELAI

Unless you don't want to come with us. I mean, this place is very impressive, and I would understand if you didn't want to leave.

MICHEL

Yes, this place is impressive, isn't it? I mean, the uniform alone - like working in your jammies. And these headsets, are they not fabulous? Especially when, for example, you're in the bathroom, a place one would normally choose to be alone, then suddenly, bang, someone is yakking in your ear. How delightful. You can never get lonely.

LORELAI

I suppose not.

MICHEL

And the people who work here... a joy. So young, so talented. Some of them are actors in ambitious off-Broadway revues. They play cockroaches and derelicts and do Shakespeare dressed like punk rockers. It gives me chills just thinking about it. Yes, extra towels are complimentary, Matthew, and stop asking me who the hottie I'm talking to is. I'll tell you what, I'll think about it and get back to you, okay?

LORELAI

Nice to have you aboard, Michel.

MICHEL

I'm busy, go. Thank God. Matthew, what?

LORELAI

So, he invited us to his wedding.

RORY

And we're having beef.

LORELAI

Well, what was his body language like?

RORY

Tall.

LORELAI

No, I mean, did he squirm or back away when he invited you or was he all darty-eyed?

RORY

Not much squirming, no backing away, but there was a little bit of darty-eye.

LORELAI

So, he was nervous.

RORY

Well, we were both nervous. I mean, we didn't expect to run into each other, and I think he probably just invited us 'cause he felt like he had to, to be nice.

LORELAI

That does sound like Dean.

RORY

So, what do we do? Do we go?

LORELAI

Oh, I can't decide this. He's your ex-boyfriend.

RORY

It seems weird that we go.

LORELAI

Then we don't go.

RORY

But if we don't go, it may look like we're trying to make some kind of statement.

LORELAI

Then we go.

RORY

If I had just stayed at Lane's for two more minutes...

LORELAI

Yeah, fate.

RORY

Yes, it is fate. Do we ignore fate?

LORELAI

I don't know. Do you have any important papers due soon?

RORY

Why?

LORELAI

Just in case.

RORY

Fate's gonna flunk me?

LORELAI

It's always a possibility.

RORY

Well, then that's it. We are going.

LUKE

Going where?

RORY

Dean's wedding. Fate's making us.

LORELAI

I hope fate will cough up forty bucks for a salad spinner for him.

LUKE

Please, there is no fate.

LORELAI

What do you mean there is no fate? Of course there is fate.

LUKE

There is no fate, there is no destiny, there is no luck. Astrology is ridiculous. Tarot cards tell you nothing. You cannot read a palm. Tea leaves make tea and nothing else. Jim Morrison is not hanging out with Elvis, and the Kennedys did not kill Marilyn.

LORELAI

I totally knew you were gonna say that.

LUKE

I came over here. My fault.

LORELAI

I read your mind. It spoke to me. We're psychic.

LUKE

Enjoy the fries.

LORELAI

So where does this leave us?

RORY

Well, I think that Dean's gonna expect us to go, and it is his day, and I don't want him to feel like I don't care about him.

LORELAI

I know.

ORY

I just want him to be happy.

LORELAI

Okay, we'll get him a salad spinner first thing tomorrow morning.

RORY

Thank you.

MISS PATTY

Oh, there you are. Honey, I've got your mail.

LORELAI

Oh, great.

MISS PATTY

Oh, I'm exhausted. I've been looking all over town for you.

LORELAI

Oh, Patty, you could have just left me a message. I would have stopped by and picked it up.

MISS PATTY

Oh, there was something marked urgent in there, and I just wanted to make sure you got it.

LORELAI

Hm, thank you.

MISS PATTY

All right, I'm leaving. Oh, I'm gonna kill that mail carrier. I don't care if he doesn't have a tongue. [leaves]

RORY

Our new mail carrier doesn't have a tongue?

LORELAI

You've got to be kidding me.

RORY

That's what Patty just said.

LORELAI

No, Taylor has sent me a cease and desist order on the inn.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

[reads letter] "Dear Lorelai Gilmore, it has come to the attention of the Stars Hollow Historical Preservation Society that you and Miss Sookie St. James intend to commence construction on the Dragonfly Inn. Any proposed renovations must be submitted, discussed, and approved by the Stars Hollow Historical Preservation Society. We must therefore ask that all work halt until such time that this procedure has been followed. Thank you, and have a historical day." Is he kidding?

RORY

What are you gonna do?

LORELAI

I'm going to talk to him.

RORY

Cool.

LORELAI

Don't say cool like that. It's gonna be very pleasant.

RORY

I thought you said you were gonna go talk to Taylor.

LORELAI

I own my own business now, Rory. I'm gonna have to deal with tiny men like Taylor all the time. You can't go around yelling at people, no matter how historical they might be.

RORY

Bummer.

LORELAI

You have to learn to separate the personal from the business.

RORY

Okay.

LORELAI

Remember in The Godfather, Michael telling Sonny how he was gonna kill Tattaglia and Captain McCluskey in that Italian restaurant? He lays out the whole thing very calmly, very unemotionally, 'cause that's what you do in business.

RORY

Yeah, but then he went and shot two guys in the head.

LORELAI

Okay, but I wasn't describing that scene.

TAYLOR

[to customer] But if you know you already like lime, then you're not sampling, you're savoring, and that's just gluttonous.

LORELAI

Hi, Taylor.

TAYLOR

Well, hello there. Lorelai, Rory, what can I get for you?

LORELAI

Oh, well, gosh, look at all the choices, really hard to pick. I think I'll try a scoop of butter brickle crunch. Rory?

RORY

I'll try the chocolate chocolate chocolate.

TAYLOR

Coming right up.

LORELAI

Listen, Taylor, while I have you here, um, I received this letter in the mail, and I'm having kind of a blond day, and I wonder if you could explain this to me.

TAYLOR

Well, it says you have to get approval before you can start construction on the inn.

LORELAI

That's what I thought it said. Well, I have to tell you, Taylor, I'm a little concerned because we have a construction crew coming Monday, so... yikes.

TAYLOR

Well, the Dragonfly is a historical building, Lorelai.

LORELAI

Yeah, but the whole town is a historical building, Taylor. I mean, George Washington ate, slept, or blew his nose all over the damn place.

TAYLOR

He only blew his nose in the park. You've read the sign.

LORELAI

Taylor, that inn needs love. It's falling down. Sookie and I have no intention of ruining its historical aspect. We'd just like some running water.

TAYLOR

Running water was not always historical.

LORELAI

You're not seriously telling me I can't put in running water?

RORY

Oh, my God, this is incredible. It's called chocolate chocolate chocolate, but it's seriously chocolate chocolate chocolaty. Sorry.

TAYLOR

I'm just telling you, there are rules and they have to be followed.

LORELAI

Fine. What do I have to do to get the Historical Preservation Society's stamp of approval?

TAYLOR

Well, a formal presentation is necessary.

LORELAI

Uh-huh. When?

TAYLOR

Uh, any town function or gathering is open to a presentation, Lorelai.

LORELAI

Okay, so, like, the town meeting tonight?

TAYLOR

If you like.

LORELAI

The town meeting it is.

TAYLOR

Oh, now, don't look sad. I went through this with my place, too. Of course, I knew the rules so I didn't get the embarrassing letter.

LORELAI

Right, okay, great. Well, we'll see you later, Taylor.

TAYLOR

Oh, uh...

LORELAI

Yes?

TAYLOR

That'll be $3.50 for the ice cream.

RORY

And worth every penny, let me tell you. Sorry, but this is really good.

TAYLOR

So, any additional landscaping to the town square will be paid for directly from the town park funds, and town park funds only. All righty.

RORY

Long one tonight.

LORELAI

Astonishingly long.

SOOKIE

We've got to be next, right?

LORELAI

We've got to be. Michel, are you okay over there?

SOOKIE

He says the guy next to him has unforgivable B.O.

LORELAI

Michel, you're French. How can you even tell?

TAYLOR

Could we have a little quiet please?

LORELAI

Sorry, Taylor, we're just waiting here very patiently, as you can see, all ready and everything.

TAYLOR

Yes, well, um, the next item, people, is a wonderful feather in Stars Hollow's cap. One of our very own, fourth grader Donny Pass, was named a runner-up in the Connecticut State story-writing contest for his work entitled The Happiest Doughnut.

SOOKIE

I think I'm gonna give birth just out of boredom.

TAYLOR

Donny's mom is here tonight. Let's give her a big hand.

LORELAI

I almost think he's doing this on purpose.

SOOKIE

Almost? Huh.

LORELAI

Bordering on pretty damn sure.

TAYLOR

I won't spoil the plot of The Happiest Doughnut for you, folks, except to say it's funny and a little sad and truly inspiring. But a caveat for all you parents - the dunking scene may be too intense for preschool-aged children.

GYPSY

How can a stupid doughnut be happy?

RORY

But see, he's got you curious. That's the genius of Donny Pass.

GYPSY

Hey, I've got a bunch of your mail. Here.

RORY

Oh, I've got some of yours, too, and some of Al's. Will you pass this back to him for me?

GYPSY

Yeah. Oh, if you hand this up to Andrew.

RORY

Can do.

LORELAI

I can't smell anything.

MICHEL

I'm breathing it all in so it's not reaching you.

LORELAI

Thanks for taking that grenade for me, pal.

TAYLOR

People, could we have some order here?

ANDREW

Oh, Gypsy, the letter from my girlfriend's open.

GYPSY

Oh, yeah. Sorry, Andrew. It must have fallen open accidentally.

ANDREW

You read my private letter.

GYPSY

There's nothing private in that letter. Except for the medical stuff.

MISS PATTY

Taylor, I got your PennySaver and your girly magazines.

TAYLOR

Those are lifestyle magazines. People, this meeting has degenerated into our usual weekly anarchy. I say we adjourn. We'll see you next week.

SOOKIE

What?

LORELAI

Uh, Taylor!

TAYLOR

Everyone pick up a free copy of The Happiest Doughnut on your way out. You won't be sorry.

LORELAI

Taylor, wait, we were supposed to make our presentation about the Dragonfly.

TAYLOR

Oh, yes. Well, uh, you're bringing this up kind of late.

LORELAI

Well, we've been sitting here.

SOOKIE

It won't take long.

LORELAI

It was your idea, remember? You suggested this.

TAYLOR

Well, okay. People, your children and elderly are going to have to wait a while longer for you to get home because Lorelai Gilmore and her associates want to discuss some proposed changes to a beloved town structure.

LORELAI

Thank you. Let's go, Sook, Augustus Gloop.

RORY

Knock 'em dead.

LORELAI

Guys, I know we've been here forever, but I very quickly want to tell you what we have in mind for this beautiful Dragonfly property.

TAYLOR

The historic Dragonfly property.

LORELAI

I think that goes without saying.

TAYLOR

I don't think you should try to hide the fact that it's historic.

LORELAI

Okay, I'm not hiding anything.

TAYLOR

Proceed, please.

LORELAI

Okay, well, we're very excited -

TAYLOR

How many guest rooms will this establishment have?

LORELAI

Um, ten.

TAYLOR

Ugh, tsk, tsk, tsk.

LORELAI

Yeah, ten. Anyway, the property's been unoccupied for -

TAYLOR

And parking? How many parking spaces?

LORELAI

Um, eighteen.

TAYLOR

Oh, hm.

LORELAI

Something wrong with the parking, Taylor?

TAYLOR

Two people to a room, each with their own car, that's twenty cars - you don't have enough parking.

LORELAI

But some of the people will be driving there together in one car.

TAYLOR

So, you have a crystal ball, do you?

LORELAI

That's just common sense.

TAYLOR

Because if you have a crystal ball, I sure would like to borrow it to take to the racetrack.

LORELAI

Um, no, I don't have a crystal ball, but if the parking's not enough, we can always add more.

SOOKIE

Easy.

TAYLOR

So, pave paradise and put up a parking lot.

SOOKIE

Not what we're saying.

TAYLOR

I heard you were planning to serve alcohol - is this true?

LORELAI

Well, there will be a restaurant.

SOOKIE

Wine, cocktails. Give the people what they want.

TAYLOR

So it'll be a party spot, huh?

LORELAI

Uh, no.

TAYLOR

Catering to that crowd - hip-hoppers, the Manson family.

LORELAI

It's a little country inn.

TAYLOR

A perfect secluded spot for murderers to revel in impropriety.

MICHEL

Have you noticed, this is not going very well.

LORELAI

Taylor, everyone, there will be millions of questions, some of them even legitimate, but the bottom line is, you know me. I've been apart of this town for... well, look how big my daughter is - for that long. And opening this inn has been a dream of mine and of Sookie's for most of that time. Along with Michel, we plan to make this community as proud of the historic Dragonfly Inn as you were when the same team was running the Independence Inn.

TAYLOR

You mean the place that burned down on your watch?

MICHEL

Can I slap him?

LORELAI

Uh, now, this will also help our local economy because we plan to employ... [her cell phone rings] Sorry, we plan to employ - huh. Uh, this, uh, call is coming from the house.

RORY

Our house?

LORELAI

It's flashing our number.

RORY

But we're here.

LORELAI

I know. That's the weird part. Sookie, uh, keep it going in here. I'll be just a quick, um, second.

SOOKIE

Okay, if you have any questions...

MICHEL

Yes, about the Dragonfly or deodorant - the places to buy it, how to apply it, that sort of thing.

LORELAI

Hello?

KIRK

I responded to the activation of an alarm at your residence, and I apprehended a prowler in the garage.

LORELAI

You did?

KIRK

Yes, ma'am - female, approximately eighteen years old, Korean.

LORELAI

Kirk, that's Lane. You know Lane.

KIRK

I thought I knew Lane, but now I think she's in some kind of gang.

LANE

Lorelai, help.

KIRK

Their front is some sort of musical group.

LORELAI

They are a musical group, Kirk. [to Rory] Honey, go sort it out.

RORY

Got it.

LORELAI

Rory's on her way over - brown hair, blue eyes, about 5'6" - don't cuff her.

KIRK

10-4.

LORELAI

Okay.

LORELAI

What -

SOOKIE

We failed you.

MICHEL

He is a very unpleasant man.

LORELAI

What happened?

SOOKIE

The second, I mean, the second you walked out the door, Taylor adjourned the meeting over our objections.

LORELAI

Well, where is he? Where'd he go?

SOOKIE

He was the first one out the door.

LORELAI

Unbelievable. Hm, you can run but you can't hide.

MICHEL

Oh, this is cute... The Happy Doughnut.

LORELAI

Hey, uh, we have a little misunderstanding back there, Taylor?

TAYLOR

Lorelai, please don't sneak up on me like that. I almost blew my emergency whistle.

LORELAI

We weren't done.

TAYLOR

Oh, I thought we were.

LORELAI

No, we weren't.

TAYLOR

Well, what more was there to say?

LORELAI

Nothing was decided. You said to come to the town meeting and explain what you're doing, then we can start our work.

TAYLOR

Oh, well, you can't do that until after the walk-through.

LORELAI

Oh, Taylor, I'm in heels. Do you mind? What walk-through?

TAYLOR

I and other members of the Historical Preservation Society need to examine the property in person. You didn't think we were gonna make a decision based on a little chat, did you? I'm sure I mentioned a walk-through.

LORELAI

I don't think you did.

TAYLOR

Well, I'm mentioning it now.

LORELAI

Okay, so, when's the walk-through?

TAYLOR

Well, I'd have to check with the other society members, set something up in the next month or so.

LORELAI

But I have workmen coming Monday, Taylor, the day after tomorrow.

TAYLOR

Oh, dear. That's cutting it pretty close.

LORELAI

Let's do it tomorrow, please - tomorrow.

TAYLOR

Tomorrow's Sunday.

LORELAI

Yes, it is.

TAYLOR

Well, it would have to be before church.

LORELAI

Okay, so midmorning?

TAYLOR

Six?

LORELAI

Six? Six in the morning?

TAYLOR

Or another day - I could take it up with the society.

LORELAI

No, no, six is fine. Six sharp.

TAYLOR

See you then.

LORELAI

Bright and early.

CUSTOMER

Goodnight.

LUKE

Goodnight. Thanks.

BOYS

[singing] We do or die for Stars Hollow High! We do or die for Stars Hollow High! It's the one we fight and fall for, it's the one we give our all for.

LUKE

Oh, goody.

BOYS

Stars Hollow High! Whoo!

BOY 1

That is our Stars Hollow High fight song.

LUKE

Could've sworn it was Mozart. What is this, guys?

KYLE

Pit stop!

BOYS

Whoo!

KYLE

Bachelor party, phase one is over.

BOY 2

Our boy Dean here is tying the knot.

LUKE

Look, I was just closing up.

DEAN

Luke!

LUKE

Dean!

DEAN

That's funny.

LUKE

I wasn't even trying.

KYLE

We just need to refuel for phase two, sir. It won't take long.

DEAN

You wouldn't turn away a man on his wedding day, would you?

LUKE

It's not your wedding day yet.

BOY 1

That's what I keep telling him, dude. It's your last day of freedom.

BOY 2

Hey, we should get strippers, right?

DEAN

And cake.

BOY 3

Hey, my name's Luke, too. We should start a club or something.

LUKE

Yeah, that would be swell. Look, guys, why don't you go sit down over there? I'll make some coffee.

DEAN

Tomorrow is the big day, man - big day.

LUKE

You're tipping there, Dean. Watch him.

KYLE

I got him, sir. We really appreciate this, sir.

LUKE

Stop calling me that.

DEAN

He's a good guy, really.

LUKE

So, what was phase one?

KYLE

A case of beer in the JC Penney parking lot, then batting cages and laser tag.

DEAN

I've decided that I really like beer.

KYLE

I'm the designated driver.

LUKE

Good man.

KYLE

I'm in the Navy now, you know.

LUKE

Uniform tipped me off.

KYLE

My older cousins did two-year stints. It paid for their college and stuff, so I joined up. Of course, we weren't fighting international skirmishes on two or three dangerous fronts like we are now.

LUKE

Hey, what are you doing?

BOY 2

Sugar football.

LUKE

Don't.

KYLE

Come on, guys, respect the establishment. They're still kids.

LUKE

I got a better idea, guys. How about I whip up some pancakes real fast, help soak up whatever it is you drank?

KYLE

Sounds good. We'll be needing energy for phase two.

BOY 2

Strippers, right? We gotta get strippers.

BOY 3

Hey, how much do you give a stripper?

BOY 1

Well, that depends on what she does.

KYLE

Are they really prostitutes? 'Cause I'd feel bad if they were prostitutes.

LUKE

Look, guys, I gotta go in the back for a couple seconds. Don't drink anymore. Don't play jets. Don't jump on the furniture. Just sit still, okay?

BOY 2

And do what?

LUKE

I don't know. Make up a dirty version of the fight song or something.

BOY 1

Yeah!

BOY 2

Great idea!

DEAN

[mumbles] Rory.

BOY 3

What did he say?

BOY 1

Oh, he is so toasted.

DEAN

[mumbles] Rory.

KYLE

Did he say what I think he said?

LUKE

Hey guys, you know what I think? I think it's real late and that maybe you ought to cancel phase two.

BOY 1

No way.

KYLE

Hear him out, fellas.

LUKE

I mean, think about it, guys - how you gonna beat laser tag?

BOY 1

I don't know.

BOY 2

Aw, is Dean sick?

LUKE

He just needs his rest. Kyle, why don't you march your friends out of here? I'll take care of the groom, and he'll see you all tomorrow.

KYLE

He's right, guys. Let's saddle up.

BOY 2

Aren't we getting pancakes?

BOY 1

I'm not feeling good.

LUKE

Come on, big guy.

DEAN

What?

LUKE

Try to walk.

LUKE

Here we are.

DEAN

She's smart, man. You know, she's so smart.

LUKE

I know, I know.

DEAN

She could probably fix the world, you know?

LUKE

Right, right. She could team up with Kyle - her brains, his brawn.

DEAN

No, not Kyle - Rory.

LUKE

Almost there.

DEAN

She's the one, you know?

LUKE

Come on, Dean, just slide down there, stop talking.

DEAN

And the hair - pretty hair. She has the prettiest hair. And that head. What is that?

LUKE

Just your shoes. Shh.

DEAN

I miss her. Why didn't she love me?

SOOKIE

Scrubbing shower grout with a toothbrush.

LORELAI

Sure, sure. Flossing with that really, really fine floss that cuts between your teeth like a razor.

SOOKIE

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Staring into the sun.

LORELAI

'Til you're blind.

SOOKIE

Absolutely.

MICHEL

I feel very ugly this morning.

LORELAI

Join the crowd.

MICHEL

That unpleasant man and his cohorts in there?

LORELAI

And have been for about thirty frickin' minutes.

SOOKIE

Watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

LORELAI

Getting brain freeze from eating ice cream.

MICHEL

What are you doing?

LORELAI

We're listing all the things we'd rather be doing than this.

SOOKIE

What a mug.

LORELAI

It's like he sucked a lemon.

MICHEL

I've really grown to hate him.

LORELAI

Nice, huh?

MISS PATTY

Oh, so much potential.

LORELAI

Yeah.

TAYLOR

It needs a lot of TLC.

LORELAI

And we've got an abundance of it, Taylor. [quietly to Patty] Patty, please, please, help, help. He's killing me here, and you've got pull with him.

MISS PATTY

Oh, honey, I got my own remodeling to do on my studio that Taylor has to approve. I'm saving my pull for me.

LORELAI

Can't I have just a little teeny, tiny bit of your pull, please?

MISS PATTY

Oh, he's gonna see us talking.

TAYLOR

Lorelai, consultation, please.

LORELAI

Okay.

TAYLOR

This porch is falling apart.

LORELAI

I know.

TAYLOR

It's got live termites.

LORELAI

Big, fat ones.

TAYLOR

It's a safety hazard.

LORELAI

It's the first thing to go.

TAYLOR

To go? This porch can't go.

LORELAI

I'm sorry, Taylor. You just said it's falling apart.

TAYLOR

I didn't tell you to tear it down. It's historical. It has to stay.

LORELAI

No, no, the porch is not historical, Taylor. It was added in 1980.

TAYLOR

So?

LORELAI

So it's a 23-year-old porch. Unless you think Kate Hudson is historical, it's not historical.

TAYLOR

Not now, but how do you think we get historical 200-year-old structures if we tear 'em down when they're just 23?

LORELAI

Uh, it's rotting away.

TAYLOR

Which just means that your guests can't walk on it.

LORELAI

So they should hover over it?

TAYLOR

No, you could build a bridge over it, using appropriate materials, of course.

LORELAI

A bridge?

TAYLOR

Or you could build a transparent Lucite porch over this porch, so people could walk on the Lucite porch and see the old porch underneath the new porch.

LORELAI

Build a clear plastic porch over the rotting wood porch?

TAYLOR

With the proper permits, of course, and those are hard to come by.

LORELAI

That's it!

TAYLOR

Lorelai, watch it. I've got church later.

LORELAI

What did I do to make you torture me like this, Taylor?

TAYLOR

I don't know what you're talking about.

LORELAI

The hoops! The hoops with the jumping and the fire and the hoops!

TAYLOR

It's just business, Lorelai.

LORELAI

I pay to shop in your store. I eat your banana splits. I've never physically hurt you... except for that one spit wad in the one town meeting, but I didn't mean for it to hit your eye and I apologized profusely, so please, please, put me out of my misery and tell me what I need to do to make this thing happen!

TAYLOR

I want an ice-cream truck.

LORELAI

What?

TAYLOR

I want to sell ice cream off a truck in the summer. I want to park it in front of the soda shop. I want to ring the bell on it every day at noon, but the only place I can park it is the space that's partly in front of Luke's diner.

LORELAI

So?

TAYLOR

You have pull with Luke.

LORELAI

I guess, maybe.

TAYLOR

You're friends.

LORELAI

Yes.

TAYLOR

You can get him to agree to this.

LORELAI

Use my pull.

TAYLOR

If you don't mind.

LORELAI

So if I get Luke to agree to this, the madness stops?

TAYLOR

If that's what you want to call it.

LORELAI

The work begins and the porch goes?

TAYLOR

All expedited, nice and neat.

LORELAI

An ice-cream truck?

TAYLOR

An ice-cream truck.

LORELAI

You can go.

TAYLOR

Well, this has been a very successful outing. Back on the bus, everyone.

MICHEL

Unbelievable.

SOOKIE

Yup. Hey, when do you think you'll... [Lorelai walks away] Shortcut to Luke's.

MICHEL

How is she going to get over Potter's Creek?

SOOKIE

Jump it?

LORELAI

Give him his ice-cream truck.

LUKE

What?

LORELAI

I forged a stream and I almost got attacked by a beaver, and I'm not leaving here till you agree.

LUKE

To what?

LORELAI

You don't own the street, you own the building. It's a public street. Just let him park his stupid truck.

LUKE

I'm missing something here.

LORELAI

Don't change the subject.

LUKE

I don't even know what the subject is.

LORELAI

If you let Taylor park his stupid ringy-dingy ice-cream truck - not even in front of the diner, but in front of part of the diner - then I can start work on the inn. But if you don't say yes, then you may not have to see his truck parked outside, but you will have to see my body swinging from that tree over there because I will hang myself. I am waiting for your answer.

LUKE

Sure.

LORELAI

Sure what?

LUKE

He can park it there. What do I care?

LORELAI

Oh, don't kid around here.

LUKE

Your life's at stake. I wouldn't kid around.

LORELAI

That easy?

LUKE

That easy.

LORELAI

Well, why'd you say no before?

LUKE

When?

LORELAI

When Taylor asked you before?

LUKE

He never asked me before.

LORELAI

He never asked?

LUKE

Not about a truck - about a giant ice cream cone a few months back. I said no to that. Probably why he thought I'd say no to the truck.

LORELAI

He never asked?

LUKE

Nope.

LORELAI

But you're fine with this, and he could have asked?

LUKE

It's a public street.

LORELAI

And you would have said yes?

LUKE

I'd have said yes.

LORELAI

And I wouldn't have had to go through all this.

LUKE

Probably not.

LORELAI

You know what, I've learned something very valuable here today. Come on in. Sit down there. Take a load off. Very valuable.

LUKE

Good.

LORELAI

I've had a business epiphany. It's like I'm Bud Fox, saying, "Thanks for the lesson, Mr. Gekko."

LUKE

This will pass, folks.

LORELAI

The Lorelai you knew is dead. Remember her? The eager to please, fresh of face? She thought that success in business meant working hard, applying yourself, and respecting your coworkers, and she preached that to others - oh, little child.

LUKE

You should probably get some rest.

LORELAI

It's about scratching backs, my friend, and kissing things - I won't be graphic.

LUKE

It is Sunday morning.

LORELAI

It's dirty, that's what business is. It's smoke-filled back rooms with exposed pipes and shady players chewing on fat cigars and twirling their dirty mustaches. And when you go into those rooms, you can't be a milquetoast muppet. You have to have pointy teeth and jaws that snap. The meek shall not inherit the earth!

LUKE

Thanks for the perspective.

LORELAI

Do you have any coffee?

LUKE

I'm not giving you coffee.

LORELAI

I don't have time for coffee. I gotta go find Taylor and close this deal. You think he's back at the store?

LUKE

Or having his dirty mustache cleaned.

LORELAI

You're good with the truck?

LUKE

I'm good with the truck.

LORELAI

Bless you. [leaves]

LUKE

I'll be right with you, folks.

LUKE

So, you're up.

DEAN

Yeah, I'm up. It took me a minute or two to figure out where I am, but...

LUKE

Oh, that's right. You've never been here before.

DEAN

Yeah, it's not that I remembered. I just kinda looked out the window and that's how I could tell.

LUKE

Good, smart. [hands him a drink] Little concoction of mine - it'll help with the hangover.

DEAN

Guess I had a beer or two too many last night, huh?

LUKE

Yeah, it happens.

DEAN

Hope the guys didn't bug you too much.

LUKE

No, they were fine.

DEAN

Good.

LUKE

So, you're all dressed there?

DEAN

Yeah, uh, you know, big day - getting married.

LUKE

Getting married.

DEAN

Um, I'm due in the church in about an hour.

LUKE

Hey, uh, Dean...

DEAN

And I still gotta pick up my tux.

LUKE

Yeah, right.

DEAN

Um, thanks for everything, Luke.

LUKE

Yeah, sure. Good luck.

RORY

So, a total strikeout, huh?

LANE

Total. And, you know, at first, I felt bad for them - so lacking in talent, yet so clueless. Then I just felt bad for their guitars.

RORY

Where are all the good young musicians these days?

LANE

My ears wanted to fly off my head. I'm going to the music store to look at things I can't afford. Want to come?

RORY

I have to go get ready for this.

LANE

Right. Tell me how it goes.

RORY

I will.

RORY

Hey, Luke.

LUKE

Hey, Rory. Um, where's your mom?

RORY

Uh, around somewhere. Why?

LUKE

I thought I'd find her at Doose's. Did she go back to the inn, or...

RORY

She was going back to the inn, then she was picking up a wedding present for Dean from us, because she hates it when people send gifts later. And then depending on time, I was either gonna meet her back at home or at the church.

LUKE

She have her cell on her?

RORY

I think it's dead. What's going on?

LUKE

Or a pager or something?

RORY

Is something wrong?

LUKE

Oh, no, I just need to check something with her.

RORY

Well, we can stop by after the wedding.

LUKE

Don't go to the wedding.

RORY

What?

LUKE

Uh, don't go to Dean's wedding.

RORY

Why?

LUKE

I just... don't go. Trust me.

RORY

Okay.

LUKE

It'd just be better this way.

RORY

Okay.

LUKE

So, you're not going?

RORY

I guess not.

LUKE

Okay, good. Good. I'll see you guys later.

RORY

Yeah, Luke, I'll see you later.

LUKE

Okay.

KIRK

Lorelai, do you have a minute?

LORELAI

Oh, sure, Kirk.

KIRK

We've had a successful disconnection.

LORELAI

No more alarm?

KIRK

No more alarm.

LORELAI

Fantastic.

KIRK

The roofer will be out tomorrow. The repair should take about a day.

LORELAI

I'm not gonna inquire about that right now.

KIRK

It's all taken care of, and I want to apologize for any inconvenience.

LORELAI

Aw, it was no big deal.

KIRK

I have this strong sense of chivalry when it comes to women living alone.

LORELAI

That's very nice.

KIRK

My family tree dates back to a 12th-century knight.

LORELAI

Wow.

KIRK

As a kid, I thought that meant we were related to Ted Knight. I wrote him a lot of letters. He never responded.

LORELAI

That's cute, though.

KIRK

I just want you to feel safe.

LORELAI

You really do, don't you, Kirk?

KIRK

So, I hope you don't mind my watching out for you.

LORELAI

Not at all. [she kisses his cheek]

KIRK

Thank you. I'll see you around.

LORELAI

See ya.

RORY

Hey.

LORELAI

Ooh, hey. I think I found the perfect wedding present for Dean. It's sweet, not too personal, classy, yet cheap.

RORY

We're not going.

LORELAI

What?

RORY

Luke was looking for you and ran into me, and he was all nervous and everything, and then he finally just said we shouldn't go.

LORELAI

What does that mean?

RORY

I think it means that we shouldn't go.

LORELAI

Did he give a reason?

RORY

Not really.

LORELAI

I'll go talk to him.

RORY

No, Mom, he seemed really serious, and I think that if you saw him you'd feel the same way. He was kind of upset.

LORELAI

About Dean's wedding?

RORY

Yeah.

LORELAI

So, we're not going?

RORY

I think it's better that we don't.

LORELAI

Okay. Mystery, though.

RORY

Kind of.

LORELAI

Well, you've got your nothing-to-do weekend back.

RORY

Yeah, got that back. Um, Mom, Kirk's following us in a little clowny car.

LORELAI

He's watching out for us.

RORY

Okay.

MICHEL

Ready?

LORELAI

No, no, it's gotta look like we're actually demolishing the porch.

SOOKIE

We're gonna do pretend swings.

LORELAI

Which would have been easier if we had pretend sledgehammers.

SOOKIE

Why do they make these so heavy?

MICHEL

Well, even without the swing, this is a good picture of the two of you about to record an important moment for the two of you.

LORELAI

Um, Michel -

MICHEL

I would love a copy of this for my mantel, such a nice moment.

LORELAI

You have to be in the picture, too, Michel.

MICHEL

Me? I don't know. All right.

SOOKIE

That thing have a timer on it?

MICHEL

It's set. I framed the shot. Grab your hammer and smile.

LORELAI

One more for safety?

MICHEL

Okay.

SOOKIE

What?

LORELAI

Just sometimes, it hits me. This place had a long history before us, has a long future after us. I keep thinking it's apart of our lives, but, really, it's the reverse. For a little while... I don't know... it's like we're apart of its life.

SOOKIE

Yeah.