T5E16: “So…Good Talk”

RORY

Hello?

LORELAI

Yeah, we've got to talk mail.

RORY

Not again.

LORELAI

It's all for you. Every piece. How can that be? You only half live here.

RORY

This mail envy of yours is not pretty.

LORELAI

Catalogues, business solicitations, credit card offers, oh! And for me, some more stupid Greenpeace return address labels.

RORY

Well, you are the environmental philanthropist in the family.

LORELAI

Well, I feel very badly for the planet right now.

RORY

Hey, you called my cell.

LORELAI

I know.

RORY

Well, I told you to call my land line. My cell phone bill is astronomical.

LORELAI

But a conversation with me, priceless. [She continues sorting the mail, then holds up a postcard.] Oh, joy.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

Well, I did get a piece of mail. The temple of Apollo.

RORY

Grandma still hitting you with the postcards, huh?

LORELAI

As if nothing even remotely unpleasant happened between us. How does she do that? Compartmentalize like that? It's weird. She's the serial killer who goes to work and talks about a funny Seinfeld he saw and then goes home and cooks himself a man-flesh sandwich.

RORY

Ew.

LORELAI

Let's see how her trip has been since the last card. [Pretends to read] Dear Lorelai, kicked a dog then punched a gypsy in the groin. Oh, that's nice.

RORY

Mom –

LORELAI

[continuing her bit]

Complained about the foie gras to a waiter whose yearly pay is less than I spend monthly on silver polish, then kicked another dog.

RORY

Come on.

LORELAI

Tripped a nun, then burned down an orphanage.

RORY

Sounds like a busy itinerary.

LORELAI

And the sun sets on Apollo. [She rips the postcard in half.]

RORY

At least you don't get the nothing said all about it reminders about Friday night dinner.

LORELAI

She's putting her hooks in you, huh?

RORY

Yeah, three cards in a row, reminding me in no uncertain terms that they'll see me soon.

LORELAI

Well, she's smart enough not to do that to me.

RORY

Well, I'm mad at her too, you know. Just for the record.

LORELAI

I know.

RORY

Anything else?

LORELAI

Whoa. One minute of talk, and then I get the bum's rush?

RORY

I'm right in the middle of studying.

LORELAI

I gotta pop out of an envelope for you to have an interest in me?

RORY

I'll be home Friday. We'll eat, we'll talk, we'll laugh. What a time we'll have.

LORELAI

Skip's back in shorts.

RORY

I am not wasting cell phone minutes on Skip's shorts!

LORELAI

It's the Reno 911 short shorts. Ooh, disturbing.

RORY

I'm hanging up now.

LORELAI

Fine. So Friday?

RORY

Friday. Bye.

LORELAI

Bye-bye.

LANE

Sit up.

ZACH

Huh?

LANE

Sit up and feet off the chair.

ZACH

What's with being a Chilean dictator dude?

LANE

Luke is on a tear, so this is for your own protection.

ZACH

He's always on a tear.

LANE

This is different! And you have to pay today.

ZACH

For the ice-cold, undercooked fries? I don't think so.

LANE

Zach, please! [She kicks his feet off the chair.]

ZACH

Ow!

LANE

I do this because I care for you. You know I care for you, right?

ZACH

Yeah. Gosh.

CUSTOMER

Excuse me, miss?

LANE

Can I help you?

CUSTOMER

Sorry to be a pest, but I asked for my omelette soft. This is way overdone.

LANE

Shh. Not so loud.

CUSTOMER

You should probably make me another –

LUKE

How's everyone else's eggs, huh?

REMAINING CUSTOMERS

Great.

ZACH

That's all I've got, man.

ZACH

[to Lane]

His eyes. Red, like the fires of Mordor.

LANE

Go, go. I'll see you later, and keep low! [Zach leaves.] How are you doing, Kirk?

KIRK

Great. I'm loving this blackened Cajun bread Luke made for me. I didn't even ask for it.

LANE

That's burnt toast, Kirk. You don't have to eat it.

KIRK

But I'm loving it! And look. [He scrapes some toast crumbs onto his food.] I've been mixing blackened ash with the runny eggs. Goes great with the fishy tasting bacon.

LANE

Glad you like it.

LUKE

Order's up!

LANE

[picking up the plate]

Uh, Luke?

LUKE

What?

LANE

Um, I know you're really busy back there – Is that the door to the oven?

LUKE

It fell off when I kicked it. Something wrong?

LANE

Well, I needed a side of hash browns for table three, and I'm really, really sorry, but this is hash. I think. I mean, it's hash-like.

LUKE

They'll eat it.

LANE

They might, or they might go have breakfast at Weston's like the lady with the walker you threw out about an hour ago.

LUKE

So, let ‘em go to Weston's. [Shouting] Huh? All of you! If you can eat ceramic cow creamers and kitty cat salt and pepper shakers and stupid little flowers drawn in powdered sugar on your plate, then that's where you belong anyway! [Some customers get up and leave.]

LANE

[to Kirk]

Unidentified breakfast food, on the house?

KIRK

Terriff. [He takes the plate from her.]

LORELAI

No, I don't understand. Well, yes, of course I'll hold. I thought you'd never ask.

SOOKIE

How's your reservation book looking?

LORELAI

What?

SOOKIE

Are we booked up, half full, kinda light?

LORELAI

For when?

SOOKIE

Next two to three months.

LORELAI

Um, we're fairly booked. I'd say eighty, ninety percent.

SOOKIE

Eighty, ninety percent! Now, did they seem hungry?

LORELAI

What?

SOOKIE

Oh, and where are they from? Any from Jersey? People from Jersey love my Chinese chicken salad. Any Texans? Oh, any from France?

LORELAI

[on the phone]

Yes, I'm still here. Yes, great. [On hold again] What's the panic, Sookie?

SOOKIE

What's the panic? I'm giving birth!

LORELAI

Right now?

SOOKIE

No, not right now, but eventually. And when I do, I'll have to have all the menus made out, and a food order put in, and a backup plan, in case there's a bad tomato crop, or if Oprah decides to get mad at beef again.

LORELAI

Hello, Blaine! Yes, you were about to explain to me the reason you once again raised our premium here. [Pause] Uh-huh. Those were all very small claims due to the snow, and – right. Well, who else would we come to, but our trusty insurance agent. Guy. Stud. Pick the appropriate term and insert here. Now. Eh – yes, well, of course. Holding's one of my great pleasures.

SOOKIE

Problem?

LORELAI

The charmers at our insurance agency get mad when you try to claim something.

SOOKIE

The stable roof.

LORELAI

Yes, and – and now I've been disconnected. Coincidence? I think not.

SOOKIE

[Pointing at the computer]

Have people made dinner reservations?

LORELAI

Be my guest.

SOOKIE

Okay.

LORELAI

Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai speaking.

EMILY

Lorelai, it's your mother, I –

SOOKIE

Hey, we've got vegetarians in April! What, were you hiding them?

LORELAI

Yes, I'm evil that way.

LORELAI

Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai speaking.

EMILY

Lorelai, you just hung up –

LORELAI

Hey, so who do you think will take over while you're gone?

SOOKIE

I was thinking about Chantelle.

LORELAI

The one who got her face caught in the mixer?

SOOKIE

She's better now. She just got her new nostril last week.

LORELAI

That's good.

LORELAI

Dragonfly Inn.

RICHARD

Ah, yes. Lorelai. It's your father.

LORELAI

Oh, Dad! How was your trip?

RICHARD

Fine, Lorelai. Thank you very much.

LORELAI

And the flight back?

RICHARD

Very smooth.

LORELAI

Smooth is good.

RICHARD

Actually, your mother wanted to talk to you for a moment. [He hands the phone to Emily.]

EMILY

Hello, Lorelai, I –

LORELAI

Hey, do you have any of that really great braised lamb risotto thing leftover from last night?

SOOKIE

I think so, why?

LORELAI

Well, since I'm not going to Friday night dinner tonight or ever again, and I'm not in the mood for pizza, I thought I'd have a little fancy food with my movie.

SOOKIE

You're going to a movie!

LORELAI

I Netflixed all three ‘A Star is Born's.

SOOKIE

Janet, Judy and Babs.

LORELAI

The holy trinity. I thought I'd hunker down with some fabulous food and watch all the men that got away.

SOOKIE

What? No, you can't do that!

LORELAI

Why not?

SOOKIE

Because! Look, I'm worried about you.

LORELAI

Why?

SOOKIE

Just because you don't have someone in your life right now –

LORELAI

Meaning Luke.

SOOKIE

And your parents, and your Friday night dinners, and Rory's off at college –

LORELAI

I do, however, have my original nostril.

SOOKIE

You can't use that as an excuse to become couch potato girl.

LORELAI

What are you talking about?

SOOKIE

Sitting at home. Ordering take-out. Watching television night after night.

LORELAI

That's what I've always done. I was couch potato girl even when I had a guy. And Friday night dinner. And, by the way, the entire time Rory was growing up.

SOOKIE

Yes, but now it's pathetic.

LORELAI

Well, just a little.

SOOKIE

You are not sitting home tonight! We are going out!

LORELAI

We are?

SOOKIE

Girl's night out, just you and me. Oh, it'll be fun. Big excitement, big hair! We'll get all dolled up and paint the town!

LORELAI

But –

SOOKIE

I am coming to your house tonight, at seven o'clock sharp, and I am taking you out, and you better look hot! You hear me?

LORELAI

Yes I do.

SOOKIE

[giggles]

Good.

LORELAI

But remember, I don't put out unless I get dinner.

SOOKIE

[heading back to the kitchen]

I know. I saw your bumper sticker.

RORY

Hi. I'd like a large caramel macchiato with an extra shot and whip cream, please.

COFFEE BOY

Coming up.

RORY

Wait, hold on. How much is that?

COFFEE BOY

Four eighty-five.

RORY

Okay, better drop the extra shot. What does that make it?

COFFEE BOY

Four twenty.

RORY

Better make it a small. What does that make it?

COFFEE BOY

Three thirty.

RORY

Better drop the whip cream. What does that make it?

COFFEE BOY

Less calories.

RORY

Just a plain old small coffee, please. [She turns around and drops her change all over the ground.] D'oh.

LOGAN

This would definitely qualify as a cute meet if we hadn't already met.

RORY

Logan. Hey. This is nice and embarassing.

LOGAN

Are we going after the rollers? A couple of them are headed into the bushes.

RORY

No, I think I've supplied people with a sufficient amount of silly images of me for one day.

LOGAN

Small coffee for me, and put the lady's on my tab too.

RORY

No, Logan, you don't have to do that.

LOGAN

Ace, I can't take a chance of you pulling out that purse again. Someone might get hurt. [He pays for the coffee.]

RORY

Okay, well, thank you.

LOGAN

So I stopped by the paper the other day to see you.

RORY

Really?

LOGAN

And then I tried to sneak out when I realized you weren't there. But our omnipresent editor cornered me. Does Doyle ever leave that place?

RORY

Unfortunately yes, otherwise I would be denied the regular pleasure of seeing him in Property of Alcatraz pajama pants.

LOGAN

Thanks for the image. Hey, come here. [He pulls her into a corner.]

RORY

What are you doing?

RORY

So that's what you're doing.

LOGAN

What'd you think I was doing?

RORY

People will see.

LOGAN

I don't care if people see.

RORY

A professor will see you, and he'll take advantage of the fact that you're distracted and pull you in, make you take a midterm.

LOGAN

I'm done with them.

RORY

With your midterms?

LOGAN

I already took the ones I couldn't get out of.

RORY

Then why are you here? You're going off skiing, aren't you?

LOGAN

I just have to drop off a paper for my ethics class by eleven thirty and then I'm off.

RORY

It's eleven twenty-five.

LOGAN

So we're swimming in time.

LOGAN

What are you doing?

RORY

[reaching into his bookbag]

I want to see your paper.

LOGAN

Your mind is a mysterious thing.

RORY

Come on. I'm dying to know what your take on ethics is. For instance, are you for it or against it?

LOGAN

No way. It's too dangerous.

RORY

Dangerous?

LOGAN

I actually worked on this thing. It goes from my hand to the professor's.

RORY

Like I'm going to lose it.

LOGAN

I saw you with your coins, plus let's remember Hemingway.

RORY

What about him?

LOGAN

Trusted that wife of his with the only copy he had of the novel he was working on. The silly woman lost it.

RORY

Not so. I know the story. Hemingway left it on a plane. His wife had nothing to do with it.

LOGAN

That's not the way I heard it.

RORY

Well, you heard it wrong.

LOGAN

How much you want to bet?

RORY

All the money in my purse, plus a million dollars.

LOGAN

Well, my spelling stinks. Take my word for it.

RORY

You'll call me from the cabin?

LOGAN

Absolutely.

RORY

Thanks for the coffee.

LOGAN

Anytime. Better have that million bucks ready when I get back, and I don't accept coins.

RORY

No promises.

RORY

[OS]

Hello!

LORELAI

Kitchen!

RORY

[OS]

Ow! Rat bastard!

LORELAI

Are you okay?

RORY

[OS]

Give me a hand!

RORY

Okay, Bob Hope's laughing in heaven, but I'm not.

LORELAI

Bob Hope got into heaven?

RORY

Please grab a bag.

LORELAI

This cannot all be laundry.

RORY

It's all laundry. The machine's fixed, right?

LORELAI

Yes, humming like new. Which one's the rat bastard?

RORY

[pointing]

That one.

LORELAI

[kicks the laundry bag]

Take that! And that!

RORY

Okay, he's had enough! I want to get a load going before I go to Grandma's.

LORELAI

Good idea.

RORY

Hey, you're using it!

LORELAI

Yes, I know.

RORY

Well, but I had dibs.

LORELAI

No, you didn't call dibs.

RORY

I'm a college student coming home on Spring Break. That implies dibs on the washer and drier.

LORELAI

There's no implied dibs in dibs. If you don't call it, you don't get it.

RORY

[OS]

Well, this is just wrong!

LORELAI

What?

RORY

You're washing two socks!

LORELAI

Well, they were dirty.

RORY

That's wasteful.

LORELAI

I really wanted to wear them tonight.

RORY

They are your dancing Santa Claus socks. You're not going to wear those for another ten months.

LORELAI

No, I can wear them eccentrically any time I want!

RORY

Well, then you're going to have to put one of my loads I while I'm gone.

LORELAI

And risk a hernia?

RORY

I'll never finish otherwise!

LORELAI

I'll do two loads. How's that?

RORY

Thank you. All right, I've got to take off.

LORELAI

Okay. Drive safe, and you've got gas, right?

RORY

Yeah, I've got gas.

LORELAI

Okay. Enough gas to get to Hartford?

RORY

I think so. Why?

LORELAI

Oh, well, because I've got a twenty – ah! A twenty! On the fridge, here! Look! Oh, here it is. I'm not going to use it. You should use it for gas.

RORY

Is it that obvious I'm broke?

LORELAI

Well, you mentioned the minutes on your cell phone, a hint of panic in your voice, and now the months of saved up laundry.

RORY

Well, there are just no good jobs at Yale right now, and I'd take anything. Trust me.

LORELAI

Well, I took the liberty of asking around town for you. Made you sound all pathetic and ragged. And there are a few temporary things you could take. You are very in demand in Stars Hollow.

RORY

Like what?

LORELAI

Well, the radio station needs someone to drive up the hill a couple of times a day and shoo the cows away from the transmitter.

RORY

I'm not good with livestock.

LORELAI

Well, the road crew needs a part-time ‘Slow Down' sign holder-upper. You get to wear a helmet.

RORY

I don't think so.

LORELAI

I saved the best for last. Andrew needs help doing inventory at the bookstore. I think that's probably your best bet.

RORY

That sounds great, actually.

LORELAI

Cool, just give him a ring.

RORY

Thanks. [She kisses Lorelai's cheek.] Now I just need to borrow some clothes to wear to Grandma's.

LORELAI

You're in clothes.

RORY

Well, she'll insist I take my jacket off and I'm down to my ‘Give Bush a Wedgie' t-shirt.

LORELAI

[gasps]

Please wear that to Grandma's!

RORY

I'm going to borrow some clothes.

LORELAI

There's another twenty in it for you!

RORY

Start one of my loads.

LORELAI

Forty if you snap a picture of her seeing it!

RORY

Finish your socks!

EMILY

Rory, hello! Come in!

RORY

Hi, Grandma.

EMILY

Oh, we missed you.

RORY

It's only been a few weeks, Grandma.

EMILY

Give your coat to Eliza. [Rory takes off her coat.] That's an interesting outfit you have on.

RORY

Laundry day.

EMILY

Laundry day. Everything young people do sounds like fun to me.

RORY

No, it's pretty dreary.

EMILY

Well, come in. Come in. [She calls up the stairs as they enter the living room.] Richard, Rory's here. Hurry down, and don't forget to bring the you-know-what! [To Rory] Forget you heard that.

RORY

Consider it forgotten.

EMILY

Our trip was wonderful. We have so much to tell you.

RORY

Good.

EMILY

We'll have to wait ‘till next week to show you pictures. Richard bought this new digital camera that's supposed to be so simple a child can use it. So now we need to find a child who'll show us how. [She laughs. Rory barely smiles.] Are you feeling okay?

RORY

I'm feeling fine.

EMILY

So, did you go to Athens on that first big European trip of yours?

RORY

Um, yeah.

EMILY

I hope you saw the National Archaeological museum. I thought of you there the whole time. The room with the Mask of Agamemnon?

RORY

Yep, we hit that.

EMILY

Interesting, huh?

RORY

Yep.

RICHARD

Rory!

RORY

[stands up]

Grandpa! Welcome home! [They hug.]

RICHARD

Well, thank you! Look at this outfit! I like the colors.

RORY

Thanks! It's borrowed.

RICHARD

So, we have quite a bit to catch up on!

RORY

I know, I want to hear all about it!

RICHARD

Well, I'm sure your grandmother has caught you up somewhat.

EMILY

I started to.

RICHARD

And with the dozens of postcards she sent, you probably remember the trip better than I do.

RORY

I still want to hear your account.

EMILY

Have her open the gift, Richard.

RICHARD

Oh, yes. Please. Open it!

RORY

Oh, my God, it's amazing!

RICHARD

Leaves of Grass in Greek. A hundred years old, some beautiful engravings.

RORY

Now I have to learn Greek.

EMILY

Feel the leather.

RORY

Grandpa, thank you so much.

RICHARD

Well, you can thank your grandmother. She helped pick it out.

RORY

[not looking up]

Thank you, Grandma.

ELIZA

Dinner is served, Mrs. Gilmore.

EMILY

Thank you Eliza. [To Rory] You can flip through that a little later.

RORY

Okay. [She puts the book away and she and Richard head for the dining room.] So, Grandpa, is it true that every restaurant in the Placa has a view of the Acropolis?

RICHARD

Well, they like to think so. But we found this charming little taverna – Dionysus. The view was spectacular, and the Ouzo certainly lived up to its name.

LORELAI

Oh, I am so hot. I'm going to hit on myself tonight.

SOOKIE

You look nice.

LORELAI

So do you, your hair is so fancy.

SOOKIE

And I'm ready to let it down!

LORELAI

So, what town are we painting first?

SOOKIE

Oh, well, it's your big night out, so anywhere you want!

LORELAI

Okay. How about dancing?

SOOKIE

Dancing! Yes! [sings and starts the car] I'm a brick – da-da-da-da house. Now, of course I can't really dance ‘cause my ankles are completely swollen, and, uh, my stomach's a bit of a hindrance on the dance floor. But I can watch you dance.

LORELAI

No, that's okay. Let's do something else!

SOOKIE

But you want to go dancing!

LORELAI

No, we'll do whatever.

SOOKIE

Like what?

LORELAI

We can go to a bar, hang out and talk.

SOOKIE

Sounds perfect! Of course, I tend to get a little depressed when I'm in a room full of people drinking and I can't have a cocktail! You know, did I tell you I'm having a recurring dream lately, about a magic pina colada? With whip cream, and a ton of rum, and a talking little paper umbrella!

LORELAI

If you're having dreams like that, you don't need a cocktail! How about a movie?

SOOKIE

I have to get up to pee every five minutes. But, we can sit on an aisle near the back and you can fill me in on what I missed!

LORELAI

Sookie – [she turns off the car] – Why don't we just stay home?

SOOKIE

No! We're hitting the town!

LORELAI

Not tonight.

SOOKIE

We have to. I can't let you become this spinster on the couch.

LORELAI

We can go inside and order in pizza.

SOOKIE

You need to go out, and see things, and do things!

LORELAI

I have ‘A Star is Born'. All three versions. We can compare and contrast performances and dosages!

SOOKIE

It is my responsibility as your best friend to make sure you go do exciting things even when you don't want to.

LORELAI

Hanging out with you is exciting!

SOOKIE

It is?

LORELAI

And with pepperoni and some extra cheese – look out.

SOOKIE

I am getting kind of hungry!

LORELAI

Well, sure, all this partying will do that to you.

SOOKIE

Can we watch the Streisand ‘A Star is Born' first? I really love that scene where she chews on Kris Kristofferson's lip!

LORELAI

Yeah!

EMILY

So, where are all of your Yale friends for Spring Break?

RORY

Oh, here and there.

EMILY

Did your friend Paris make interesting plans?

RORY

Not really.

EMILY

And how's the shortcake?

RORY

It's fine, thanks.

EMILY

I know this seems a bit basic, but Eliza found the first decent strawberries of the year. I'm so mad at California.

RICHARD

Well, you'd think that rain would be good for crops. It's counterintuitive.

EMILY

Anyway, these strawberries are wonderful. Could you pass them to me, Rory?

RICHARD

So, Rory. Is everything all right with you this evening?

RORY

I'm fine, Grandpa.

RICHARD

You'd tell us if anything was bothering you.

RORY

Really, it's nothing.

RICHARD

Seems as though there might be something on your mind.

RORY

Not really.

RICHARD

All right.

RORY

So, Grandpa, you hardly told me anything about your trip? How was the Archaeological museum?

EMILY

Oh, now, that's it.

RICHARD

Emily –

EMILY

What is wrong with you?

RORY

Nothing.

EMILY

I asked you about that museum earlier and all you did was mumble something about hitting it!

RORY

I should have been more expansive. I'm sorry.

EMILY

You've been pushing me away all evening!

RICHARD

Emily, please.

EMILY

You asked your grandfather question after question and make polite chit-chat about the duck with the maid, what's her name, tell her it's wonderful –

RORY

Because she made it! And her name is Eliza!

EMILY

I told her to make it! You're enjoying duck because I requested duck!

RORY

Well, it was a great duck, Grandma! Kudos on the duck!

EMILY

This isn't you, this attitude of yours. This is your mother.

RORY

Don't bring up Mom.

RICHARD

Look, both of you. Let's try to calm down.

EMILY

Why are you acting this way?

RORY

Your memory can't be that short, Grandma!

EMILY

What does that mean?

RORY

Do we really have to get into this?

EMILY

You should walk out that door and come in again. Start all over.

RICHARD

She doesn't need to do that, Emily.

EMILY

We have a contract!

RORY

[Sarcastic]

A contract!

EMILY

We pay for Yale. You come to dinner every Friday night and you act pleasantly and decently.

RORY

You're right, Grandma. We do have a contract. But it's to come to dinner. Period. There's no agreement on how vivacious or bubbly I have to be.

EMILY

You need to act like you!

RORY

I am!

EMILY

This isn't you!

RORY

[getting up]

Look, Grandma, you know what you did.

RICHARD

Rory, please sit down.

RORY

I mean, what did you expect? Ten Acropolis postcards and I forget the fact that you broke up Mom and Luke? Now, I respect our contract. And I will continue to come every Friday night and eat dinner with you. But I won't guarantee an attitude that will please you. Excuse me.

EMILY

You are certainly not excused, we're not through.

RORY

We have had dessert, I'll skip the port. Good night.

RICHARD

Rory.

RORY

Good night, Grandpa. I'll see you in a week.

LORELAI

See, now, this is perfect.

SOOKIE

It's not a nightclub, but it's a place she never goes. Different and exciting.

LORELAI

And chocolaty.

SOOKIE

Are you having fun?

LORELAI

Oh, not missing the couch a bit.

WAITER

Hi, Lorelai. Wow, twice in one day, huh?

LORELAI

[chuckles]

Hi, Frankie. Yeah, well, gotta have some pie, you know. [Sees Sookie looking at her.] Well, I haven't memorized the menu yet.

SOOKIE

You come here?

LORELAI

You know, just once a – day.

SOOKIE

Unbelievable.

LORELAI

Well, I have to go somewhere in the mornings.

SOOKIE

I didn't want to take you somewhere you always go!

LORELAI

I had a great time tonight, and I appreciate your concern. And I promise, I am not going to become a couch potato spinster woman.

SOOKIE

[gesturing at her belly]

Okay, the minute this comes out, you and I are going away for a weekend. Just the two of us.

LORELAI

Absolutely, except for the fact that you'll have a newborn baby at home, that's a perfect plan.

RORY

Hello, ladies!

LORELAI

Hi, kid. How'd you know we'd be here?

RORY

What do you mean? You're always here. Hey, Sookie.

SOOKIE

Hey, egghead. Do you want some pie?

RORY

Oh, I never say no to pie.

LORELAI

So how was dinner?

RORY

Loud.

LORELAI

Meaning?

RORY

There was yelling.

LORELAI

Why, what happened?

RORY

I just got so mad. She was acting like nothing was wrong. Like it was totally normal that you weren't there. And I couldn't take it.

LORELAI

I understand.

SOOKIE

[leaning on her hand]

I understand too.

LORELAI

Are you getting sleepy, there, Sookie?

SOOKIE

No, I'm fine. Just a little past my bedtime is all. Keep talking.

RORY

I left during shortcake.

LORELAI

I'm sorry to hear that.

RORY

Hey, Grandma did this. You didn't.

LORELAI

I know. I just hate that you're fighting with them.

RORY

Don't worry about it. [Looks at Sookie] She's sleeping.

LORELAI

Yeah, well, we partied pretty hard tonight.

RORY

Should we wake her up?

LORELAI

Nah, we'll wait a minute.

RORY

Mom. [She gestures to the empty table next to theirs.] Can you -

LORELAI

What?

LORELAI

Something wrong? [Pause.] Is it about Grandma? [Pause.] Do I have to ask eighteen more of these?

RORY

You know how, with Dean, things didn't exactly go the way I planned?

LORELAI

You mean with you and him getting together?

RORY

No, I mean, yes, that too. But I promised you that I would come to you and talk to you when I thought I was ready to - but I didn't, um, because it all happened so fast and I didn't get a chance and then everything got so messed up, and then after, it was weird. The situation was weird, and I didn't feel comfortable coming to talk to you about anything concerning us at all -

LORELAI

You can always talk to me. Even when it's weird.

RORY

I know. I want to. I want to go back to talking about everything. Just like before Dean.

LORELAI

I second that motion.

RORY

So I thought I would come talk to you now about Logan.

LORELAI

[surprised]

Oh. Okay.

RORY

I want to tell you now, so you hear it from me, right when it's... starting.

LORELAI

Right when it's starting? Oh. Got it. So, the two of you are starting something, huh?

RORY

[smiling]

Yes. We have definitely started something.

LORELAI

Started! Oh, you have already started something. Wow. Okay, fast.

RORY

I know, but he's so great. I mean, you've seen him. He's beautiful, and really smart. Smarter than me, I swear. And he's – great.

LORELAI

Yes, he seems great.

RORY

And we have a lot in common, which is good.

LORELAI

Very good.

RORY

The paper, and Yale of course, and he's extremely well-read. And I know Logan's rich, and I know you don't really -

LORELAI

No, no. Rory, I don't care if he's rich. If you like him -

RORY

I do. I really like him.

LORELAI

And he's treating you well.

RORY

He is. I'm having fun. A lot of fun.

LORELAI

Okay, well. If he's that important to you, I should probably, you know, meet him again, under different circumstances.

RORY

Right.

LORELAI

Everything all buttoned and zipped.

RORY

You will, I promise.

LORELAI

Good, that's good.

RORY

Anyhow, I just wanted you to know.

LORELAI

Okay, so. Good talk.

RORY

Yeah?

LORELAI

Absolutely. [She sighs.] Man, I feel like I should buy you a shot

RORY

How about a rum ball?

LORELAI

Two rum balls, coming up.

LORELAI

Hello?

RICHARD

Lorelai, it's your father.

LORELAI

Well, hello there, my father. What can I do for you?

RICHARD

Well, you can take a more serious tone, for starters.

LORELAI

[in a deep, British voice]

Oh. Hello, my father.

RICHARD

Lorelai.

LORELAI

Oh, sorry. I thought the British thing made it pretty serious.

RICHARD

I assume you heard what happened at dinner last night?

LORELAI

Did it involve a fork?

RICHARD

No, it did not. It involved your daughter being incredibly rude and insensitive to her grandmother.

LORELAI

I heard there was a bit of a flare-up there, yes.

RICHARD

It was more than a flare-up. I've never seen Rory behave like that.

LORELAI

Well, she was upset, Dad.

RICHARD

Well, that is no excuse!

LORELAI

Well, I don't know what to tell you.

RICHARD

You can tell me what you intend to do about it.

LORELAI

Uh, nothing?

RICHARD

You have to talk to her!

LORELAI

No, I do not.

RICHARD

Lorelai, you are her mother. It is up to you to set an example for your daughter.

LORELAI

I did set an example for her, Dad. I didn't go to dinner. She went anyhow, damn kids, you can't teach them anything.

RICHARD

She yelled at her grandmother, Lorelai! At the dinner table, right in front of me!

LORELAI

Well, this is none of my business.

RICHARD

Of course it's your business! It's your battle she's fighting.

LORELAI

I do not have a battle.

RICHARD

You need to talk to her and tell her that this behavior is not –

LORELAI

Dad, listen to me. This is Rory's thing, okay? She was mad. She was upset.

RICHARD

Well, what does Rory have to be upset about?

LORELAI

Rory loves Luke, Dad. She does not want to see him hurt and humiliated like he was. She cares about me.

RICHARD

Your mother did what she thought –

LORELAI

Whoa, just stop right there. I'm not interested in why Mom did what she did.

RICHARD

Well, I was just –

LORELAI

Luke and I have broken up, Dad. Okay? We are no longer together. And it is a direct result of what Mom did. And I know that you could care less, and I know that Mom will be thrilled, but I am not thrilled. I am not thrilled. And Rory is not thrilled. We're both hurt and extremely upset. Now, I can stay away and not come to dinner and not see Mom, but Rory made a deal with you guys, and Rory never goes back on anything she says, so she went. She was there, and if she was rude or cold, then I'm sorry, but I personally feel she has every right to be, and you and Mom will just have to work that out with her yourselves.

RICHARD

So then this is it? You'll never visit our home again?

LORELAI

I don't know.

RICHARD

You'll send Rory, but you'll avoid us at Thanksgiving? On Christmas?

LORELAI

Probably.

RICHARD

So we're just supposed to accept the fact that we'll never see you again?

LORELAI

You can see me anytime you want, Dad. I have no beef with you.

RICHARD

[thoughtfully]

I see. Well.

LORELAI

Uh, Dad?

RICHARD

Yes?

LORELAI

While you're all calm and quiet there, can I ask you a question?

RICHARD

Go ahead.

LORELAI

Well, the premium on my insurance policy at the inn is going up fifteen percent because of some small damage claims –

RICHARD

I'm sorry, you're asking me a question about insurance?

LORELAI

Yeah.

RICHARD

Carry on.

LORELAI

So these guys came by the Inn last week, and –

LORELAI

Oh. Dad, I gotta call you back in a sec, okay? Thanks. Bye. [She hangs up and hurries over to her.] Excuse me! Hello! Hi, hi.

COP

Is this your boat?

LORELAI

Ah, technically. It is. Yeah. And I'm sorry that it's parked out here like this, but, see, it's supposed to be auctioned off for charity for the National Boating for Peace and, uh, low blood sugar organization for tiny children, and so they delivered it early and not finished, and so it was dropped off here, so, to be picked up by the boat finishing guys. I'm supposed to move it. But there was this kitten. In a tree. He had a cold, and I had to bring him a Kleenex, and –

COP

Just move it on street-cleaning days.

LORELAI

Yes, ma'am.

LANE

You want some ketchup, Kirk?

KIRK

No, thanks. The distinct charred flavor of this meat is like a delicacy. I wouldn't dream of obscuring it with condiments.

LANE

I think that's a pancake.

KIRK

Fascinating.

LANE

Luke, my cheeseburger and fries up yet?

LUKE

How would I know? What am I, a food psychic? What, do you want to know how the grapefruit crop's gonna be this year? Hold on, I'm getting a message from a kumquat from beyond the grave.

LANE

Okay, I'll go see for myself.

KIRK

Hey, Luke, can I get a napkin?

KIRK

A cloth napkin and a moist towlette, all in one!

LANE

I've got a delivery, I'll be right back!

MAN

Sit anywhere?

LANE

[hushed]

Ah, listen. I will be back in fifteen minutes. Why don't you wait, and let me seat you then?

MAN

What?

LANE

Just trust me –

MAN

Forget it! I'm hungry now.

LANE

Okay. Anywhere's fine.

LANE

Soup's on!

RORY

Oh, thank God. I am starving. I have been dreaming about Luke's cheeseburgers for a month.

LANE

How's the inventory coming?

RORY

Perfect. I have a great system going. [Pointing] This is my ‘to be written down' pile, my ‘already written down' pile, and this is my pile of books that I have seen and now have to buy.

LANE

That's a big pile.

RORY

[Opening the bag of food]

Yep.

LANE

Bigger than the other two piles.

RORY

Yep.

LANE

This job must be costing you a fortune.

RORY

Yep. [She takes a bite of the burger and makes a face.] Oh, my God. What is that thing?

LANE

Sorry. I should have warned you.

RORY

This is disgusting! This is from Luke's?

LANE

Yeah, he's been a little off his game lately.

RORY

Off his game? It's like Tiger Woods made this thing.

LANE

Luke's been in a mood.

RORY

And he's taking it out on the cheeseburgers?

LANE

It's been awful. Everything's either been burnt or dropped. He's absolutely miserable. He just mopes and growls and stomps around. He throws customers out the door.

RORY

Geez.

LANE

I'm assuming his mood might have something to do with a certain someone who's been spending a lot of her time at Weston's lately.

RORY

Oh, poor, sad Luke.

LANE

Poor, sad tips.

RORY

Listen, I have to get something to eat. You want to run over to Al's with me?

LANE

Can't. If Luke's left alone too long, he might burn the place down.

RORY

Well, how about tonight? You want to do something?

LANE

I would love to, but Zach is cooking me dinner.

RORY

Really? Oh, it's so sweet.

LANE

It is, isn't it?

RORY

It's so nice that you have Zach.

LANE

I know, it's like having a perfect haircut every single day.

RORY

My God, that is beautiful.

LANE

I'll call you later?

RORY

Okay. Thanks for the concept of lunch.

LANE

Anytime.

RORY

This job was a great idea.

LORELAI

Hey, Sookie? Has my dad –

SOOKIE

[jumping out at her]

August fourteenth!

LORELAI

Oh, geez!

SOOKIE

What are you doing August fourteenth?

LORELAI

Uh, recovering from the grand jete you just did there?

SOOKIE

Last night I called Jackson's sister – Colleen, not the drunk one and I asked her to take the kids on the weekend of August fourteenth because by then there will be kids, and I will be free to girlfriend the weekend away. What do you think?

LORELAI

Oh, shoot.

SOOKIE

What?

LORELAI

Well, If you had just gotten to me sooner.

SOOKIE

Sooner than six months ahead of time?

LORELAI

Well, August is my bathing month.

SOOKIE

[disappointed]

Oh, well, September will probably work, and [noticing the small smile on Lorelai's face] you're joking.

LORELAI

August fourteenth would be perfect.

SOOKIE

[clapping]

Oh, yay!

LORELAI

Hey, Dad, how's it look?

RICHARD

Why don't you go and check that landing again, Phil? I'll be up in a moment. [He turns to Lorelai.]

LORELAI

Well, is it bad, is it good, am I screwed? What do you think?

RICHARD

Philip and I have thoroughly toured the property, and with the exception of one too many garden gnomes, we have found it to be in top shape.

LORELAI

[pleased]

Really?

RICHARD

Yes. I've also reviewed your policy, and while I tip my hat to the criminal genius who convinced you to sign it, I find it appalling.

LORELAI

I knew the name Sheisty McSheisterson should have tipped me off.

RICHARD

You can do better. And I can help.

LORELAI

Don't you tease me, Gilmore.

RICHARD

Oh, no, I wouldn't dare.

LORELAI

So what do we do?

RICHARD

Well, Philip will go over the property again, he'll take some pictures, and tomorrow I will put a new policy together for you.

LORELAI

Oh my God, you're my lifesaver.

SOOKIE

Hey, can I make you guys some lunch?

RICHARD

No, thank you, Sookie.

LORELAI

Come on, Dad. Not even a sandwich?

RICHARD

I'll tell you what. I'll have some coffee, if you're offering.

LORELAI

We're offering.

SOOKIE

I'll heat up some scones to go with it.

RICHARD

[calling after her]

Oh, no, I don't – uh, I don't want the –

LORELAI

Forget it, Dad. You're getting scones.

RICHARD

My God, this is a bossy place.

RICHARD

You know, I have to say, Lorelai. You've done a wonderful job here.

LORELAI

[surprised]

Thank you, Dad.

RICHARD

Well, the restoration. The rooms. The homey feel. And the stables – very smart.

LORELAI

Yes.

RICHARD

People love horses.

LORELAI

They turned out to be quite a draw.

RICHARD

Hmm. You know, small inns like this are very fashionable right now. The larger hotel chains are constantly searching to acquire charming places like this. They keep them just as they are, usually retain the management. I could, uh, do a little sniffing around for you if you like.

LORELAI

Are you talking about selling my inn?

RICHARD

Well, you would still run it. But you'd make a lot of money.

LORELAI

I'm good, Dad.

RICHARD

Well, you should really think about it.

LORELAI

I don't think I'm going to be selling this place, but thank you for the suggestion.

RICHARD

Yes, well, if you change your mind.

LORELAI

Yes, I know where to find you.

RICHARD

Oh, my, what is that heavenly smell?

LORELAI

Scones.

RICHARD

I have never smelled anything as heavenly as this.

LORELAI

Wait till you taste them.

ZACH

More bubbly, my dear? [He offers her some Pepsi.]

LANE

Please.

ZACH

I opened the bottle this afternoon, so it's just the way you like it. Nice and flat.

LANE

You're very sweet. This whole thing was so sweet, Zach. Cooking me dinner?

ZACH

It was fun.

LANE

The sauce was amazing.

ZACH

My own creation. Ragu with garlic salt, cayenne pepper and a dash of wasabi.

LANE

It made my ears pop.

ZACH

One of the benefits.

LANE

Spaghetti was just right, too.

ZACH

I threw some up against the wall to tell if it was done. Made a shape like Peter Gabriel's big bloated head. It's still there if you want to see it.

LANE

[getting up]

Yeah? Cool.

ZACH

But not now, okay? [He pulls her down beside him.] Later.

LANE

Oh, sure.

ZACH

[kissing up her arm]

You're the best, you know. The coolest, the cutest.

LANE

Aw, thanks. Back at you.

ZACH

I liked you the day I met you. I even remember what you were wearing.

LANE

Oh, God. I probably looked like a pig. I need more clothes.

ZACH

I want this to be right, you know?

LANE

Yeah. Absolutely.

ZACH

Music's good for you?

LANE

Sure.

LANE

That was nice.

ZACH

Yeah, it was.

LANE

We should probably clear the plates, right?

ZACH

What?

LANE

Just to get them soaking.

ZACH

No. Uh, later. After.

LANE

Okay. After what?

ZACH

[leans in]

After.

LANE

Right. [They kiss] After.

LANE

Oh, my God!

ZACH

What?

LANE

You want to have sex.

ZACH

Kind of.

LANE

Oh, my God! [She gets up and crosses the room.]

ZACH

You didn't know where this was heading?

LANE

How could I have known, Zach?

ZACH

I thought it was clear.

LANE

How, how?

ZACH

I cooked. I never cook.

LANE

I don't know that you've never cooked. I've known you, what, two years? This could be a dormant hobby.

ZACH

I lit candles.

LANE

I thought you were trying to save on electricity. Very prudent.

ZACH

I told you I wanted to have a special evening with you.

LANE

That's a clue?

ZACH

[yelling]

I don't say crap like ‘special evening', Lane! I play guitar!

LANE

Okay! But –

ZACH

I lined the path to the bedroom door with rose petals? You had to have seen that.

LANE

I thought you tracked them in. You're always stepping in things, Zach.

ZACH

I don't know what else I could have done.

LANE

Yeah, well, neither do I.

ZACH

What?

LANE

You're right. You gave me, like, eighty-three clues, and I missed them all. I'm stupid.

ZACH

You're not. I was just trying to be subtle and that's not my thing. I'm bad, I'm a bad man.

LANE

You're not bad. You're good. I'm stupid.

ZACH

I pushed you. I should be arrested.

LANE

No, Zach. I should have known. We've been dating for what, four months? And we live together, and I'm twenty. You're a guy, and I'm a girl. Birds do it, bees do it.

ZACH

So, what do you think?

LANE

Oh, well, I have to wait until I get married.

ZACH

What?

LANE

I have to wait till I get married?

ZACH

I didn't know that.

LANE

Neither did I.

ZACH

Whoa.

LANE

Yeah, whoa.

ZACH

I don't know if I'm okay with that.

LANE

I'm not sure if I'm okay with that either.

ZACH

What are you doing?

LANE

Cleaning up.

ZACH

I'll do it.

LANE

No, Zach. You're not getting any tonight, the least I can do is clean up.

RICHARD

Emily, I don't believe we've finished talking about this. [He enters.] I think once you take a step back and think about this you will see that there is nothing to be upset about.

EMILY

I'm not upset, Richard. [She throws a flower into the vase.]

RICHARD

You're not.

EMILY

No, I'm not.

RICHARD

Oh, that flower just had it coming, I assume.

EMILY

You're loving this, aren't you?

RICHARD

Loving what?

EMILY

Rory won't even look at me, but it's ‘Grandpa, how was Greece?' and ‘Grandpa, I just love my gift'!

RICHARD

Oh, now, Emily.

EMILY

Lorelai won't take my calls, but runs to Daddy with her insurance problems.

RICHARD

Well, her insurance company's been robbing her blind!

EMILY

Please.

RICHARD

Well, would you like to see her policy? The deductible alone –

EMILY

You're the favorite and you're loving every single minute of it.

RICHARD

This is not a popularity contest.

EMILY

No, not a contest. You've already won.

RICHARD

Emily, you are acting incredibly immature!

EMILY

You couldn't wait to run over to that inn of hers for your secret clandestine meeting!

RICHARD

Well, how clandestine could it be? I just told you about it.

EMILY

I do not understand why you refuse to stand by me on this.

RICHARD

Why haven't we gotten stools in here?

EMILY

I did what I did for her own good!

RICHARD

Of course you did!

EMILY

I only want the best for her, and since she is incapable of judging what is right and what is wrong, I had to step in! I had to act!

RICHARD

Yes, you did. You acted and it backfired.

EMILY

Richard!

RICHARD

Well, you did! It was a noble effort, but it failed. And now we have to deal with the reality in front of us. However misguided Lorelai's feelings are right now, the fact is, she is not willing to deal with you. She will, however, deal with me. And at least this way we still have contact with her.

EMILY

Contact, please.

RICHARD

And hopefully, with time, we will be able to convince her to come back and things will return to normal. However, if we simply cut her off, no contact whatsoever, then the odds of being able to get things back to the status quo are not very good at all. Don't you agree? [Emily looks petulant.] I thought so. All right, now don't worry. [He kisses her forehead.] I have everything under control.

EMILY

[as he is leaving]

Of course you do. Because you're the favorite.

LANE

I can't believe it. I just cannot believe it!

RORY

It's okay.

LANE

How did this happen? I started listening to rock music when I was seven years old. I snuck makeup on at school. I managed to join a band without anyone knowing. I had a boyfriend who my mother thought was a Christian guitarist. And I ate spicy condiments like they were going out of style.

RORY

Lane.

LANE

I drank soda, ate hamburgers, wore jewelry, I danced.

RORY

Not very well.

LANE

Hey, any skill level's a sin. And then I moved out and I lived with two guys. I mean, nothing else stuck. Nothing. So why this?

RORY

It's a mystery.

LANE

Why couldn't the gluten-free thing stick? I could've lived with that. Or the not dancing thing. Oh, you should have seen Zach's face, it was like -

RORY

Like he realized he wasn't going to have sex with you until the wedding night.

LANE

Yes! Exactly. God, this blows!

RORY

A lot of people wait until they're married to have sex.

LANE

Yes. Jessica Simpson and Donna from 90210.

RORY

And a couple of others.

LANE

Oh, my God, what if I never get married?

RORY

You'll get married.

LANE

If I never get married then I'll never have sex.

RORY

You'll get married, you'll have sex.

LANE

That's easy for you to say. You've already had sex with two different guys. All within a one year period.

RORY

Okay, you're making me sound a little slutty.

LANE

Well, why shouldn't you be slutty? You have absolutely no mother-taught morals standing in the way of you and your sluttiness.

RORY

Oh. Well, when you put it that way.

LANE

Is it great?

RORY

Is what great?

LANE

Sex! Is it great?

RORY

Not in front of the books, Lane.

LANE

What am I saying? It's great. And I will never experience it because by the time I'm ready to get married all the men will have been taken by women who didn't grow up in my household!

RORY

Going out to find a husband?

LANE

I have to get extra trash bags for the diner.

RORY

All right. Call me later.

LANE

You're in my head! Are you happy? You are in my head!

MRS. KIM

What?

LOGAN

Hello?

RORY

We were both wrong.

LOGAN

About?

RORY

Hemingway's manuscripts were stolen in Hadley's suitcase at the Gare de Lyon.

LOGAN

Huh.

RORY

Yep. Just thought you should know. We're both dumb.

LOGAN

Guess we found each other.

RORY

Guess we did. So how's the outing in the woods going?

LOGAN

It was going fine until Finn decided to go through one of his naked phases.

RORY

Yikes.

LOGAN

Yeah. Suddenly the cabin seemed very small.

RORY

I bet.

LOGAN

Plus it got boring, and there's too many people there I know, so I decided to cut my skiing trip short.

RORY

Yeah? Where are you now?

LOGAN

Yale.

RORY

What?

LOGAN

Yep. Seems like I got the whole place to myself, too.

RORY

I bet. Everybody's gone for spring break.

LOGAN

You know it's nice like this. Very quiet. Lots of privacy. It's too bad you're not here.

RORY

And why is that?

LOGAN

I just think you'd like it.

RORY

Well, take me a picture.

LOGAN

You know if, by chance, you decided to cut your spring break short, you could be here with me to see it yourself.

RORY

Oh, really?

LOGAN

Just a suggestion, Ace.

RORY

Well, I'll think about it.

RORY

[pulling her laundry bags]

So you're sure you're okay with this?

LORELAI

Oh, my God, for the fiftieth time, yes.

RORY

But I know you had the whole week planned out. I saw the DVD's.

LORELAI

Oh, hon.

RORY

Woman Under the Influence?

LORELAI

A.k.a. the story of me.

RORY

Soap marathon.

LORELAI

All can be done at a later time.

RORY

Okay. How about next weekend?

LORELAI

Mm, let me check my spinster catalogue. No, I'm going to be knitting toilet paper cozies till three. But after that I'm good.

RORY

Great, and we can do the Friday night Weston's dessert thing again next week.

LORELAI

Yeah, whatever you want.

RORY

Okay. You're sure you're not mad?

LORELAI

Oh, well, you'll never truly know until you read my memoir.

RORY

Oh, well.

LORELAI

Wait. [She gets up and opens a drawer.] So you'll always have clean underwear. [She hands her two rolls of quarters.]

RORY

Mom –

LORELAI

Take them.

RORY

Ah. Clean underwear, priceless.

LORELAI

And I'm going to cover the books you bought from Andrew.

RORY

No.

LORELAI

Yes.

RORY

You're an enabler.

LORELAI

I know. You're my only daughter. That I know of.

RORY

Mom, thanks.

LORELAI

You're welcome. So, he came back early, huh?

RORY

Oh, yeah. Um, he said there just wasn't much to do up at the cabin, and it just got kind of cramped and gross with all those guys, so –

LORELAI

So, he came back early, huh?

RORY

Yeah.

LORELAI

[giggles a little]

Bye.

RORY

Bye.

KIRK

Oh, my God, I love this stuff I think is meatloaf.

KIRK

Sorry.

EMILY

Hello, Luke.

EMILY

When you get a moment, I'd like to have a word with you.

LUKE

I'm busy right now.

EMILY

That's fine. I'll just wait here until things die down. [She pulls up a stool at the counter. Luke ignores her and makes some coffee. She opens the menu.] You have a wide selection here. [Pause.] What is mud pie?

KIRK

Oh, that's awesome. It's chocolate pie with Oreo cookie crust, and sometimes you can get Luke to put gummy worms in it, like worms in the mud, so, you can imagine.

EMILY

[disgusted]

Well, you've painted a wonderful picture. [To Luke] Your coffeemaker seems to be full now.

LUKE

[slamming the filter into the machine]

Coffee, Kirk?

KIRK

Oh, no. I can't drink coffee. It makes my lungs hurt. [Luke pours him a cup.] Thanks.

EMILY

[to Kirk]

Would you mind excusing us?

KIRK

Oh, um, okay. [He gets up and takes his plate outside.]

EMILY

My daughter and I aren't speaking. She won't take my calls, she won't come to dinner. She apparently wants nothing to do with me. [Pause.] I'm sure you know that Lorelai and I have had many battles. Most of them have been because I feel that I know what's best for her. But Lorelai has her own ideas about what she thinks will make her happy. She wants you, Luke. She's made her choice, God help her, but there it is. It doesn't matter if I agree with it, I can't fight it. You've won. Go back to her. I promise I will stay out of it. [She gets up and heads toward the door. Kirk is pressed up against the glass.] You're going to have to clean that window. [She leaves. Luke stares at the door.]

JUDY

The night is bitter, the stars have lost their glitter. The winds grow colder, suddenly you're older, and all because of the man that got away.

JUDY

No more his eager call, the writing's on the wall, the dreams you've dreamed have all gone astray.