T5E9: “Emily Says Hello”

JACKSON

[loud whisper OS] Psst! Lorelai.

LORELAI

Jackson.

JACKSON

[stage whisper] Shh. Just come here a second. I need you to get some stuff for me from Doose's.

LORELAI

Jackson, what are you doing?

JACKSON

[continues speaking quietly] Stop saying my name. Look, Sookie's got major food cravings, and I can't go in to "Leech Headquarters". They'll be all over me in two seconds flat.

LORELAI

[sympathetic] Selectman job isn't getting any easier, huh?

JACKSON

No, it's getting worse. Like last week -- Ann Benninghoff comes to me, right? She wants to put a sales cart outside the colonial museum selling revolutionary war books and "just a few arrowheads." Fine, but then Sally Lannigan hears about that, and she wants to sell her pine-needle sachets out in front of the gazebo. Fine, but then Kirk comes to me in an outrage because he's allergic to all pine-scented things, and how could I not know this? And pretty soon, I'm nothing but an empty suit of Jackson skin.

LORELAI

Ew. Well, what do you need?

JACKSON

Oh, thanks. Uh...let's see here. Grapefruit juice, Milk Duds, bloody mary mix, extra-spicy turkey sausage -- this is all going in the same blender, by the way –

LORELAI

Good Lordy.

JACKSON

Chives -- I'm getting a stomachache just reading this list.

LORELAI

Give it to me. I'll brave headquarters for you.

JACKSON

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

JACKSON

[Sighs] Do not go where you're going.

LORELAI

Well, what's one leech versus a swarm?

JACKSON

[looks to the skies and whimpers] I have no sanctuary.

LORELAI

The pothole on the road to the Dragonfly is getting worse. Kids are starting to swim in it.

JACKSON

I'll put it on the list, along with everything else.

LORELAI

Top of the list, please? [louder] Jackson!

JACKSON

Don't. Shh.

LORELAI

[feigned innocence] Was that too loud? Can't always tell.

JACKSON

It's on top of the list.

LORELAI

[grins] Be back in a flash.

JACKSON

Sookie, I'm home.

LORELAI

I'm home, too!

JACKSON

Were we followed? [peers around edge of curtain]

LORELAI

I don't think so. Good thing we ditched that Audi in Marseilles. Now we just have to find that tracking device. [hears crying from next room] Sookie, honey, what's wrong?

SOOKIE

[Crying] I just -- it's just -- it's just so sad.

LORELAI

Oh! People Magazine. Jackson, you know we don't allow soft human-interest stories around Sookie when she's pregnant.

JACKSON

She must have snuck it in.

SOOKIE

[whimpering] I feel like they were perfect for each other, you know?

LORELAI

[sympathetic] Uh-huh. Who, honey?

SOOKIE

[hiccupping stutters] The two of them. I mean, with the hair and the teeth and the -- you know?

LORELAI

Who's got hair and teeth?

SOOKIE

And then the Divine Brown thing happens, and bammo -- their love's in the toilet.

LORELAI

We're talking Elizabeth Hurley and Hugh Grant?

JACKSON

She must have found an old one somewhere.

LORELAI

[encouragingly] That was years ago, Sookie.

JACKSON

Tons of people have broken up since then.

SOOKIE

[horrified] and Oh, my God!

LORELAI

No, no, it's okay. Everyone's together and happy. Dispose, please.

JACKSON

Gladly. [exits with the magazine]

SOOKIE

Oh, is that my food?

LORELAI

Yes, yes, look. We got, uh, turkey sausage -- extra-spicy like you wanted.

SOOKIE

Yuk.

LORELAI

And grapefruit juice.

SOOKIE

Ugh.

LORELAI

Rappini.

SOOKIE

Ugh. Puke.

LORELAI

You're not craving things anymore, are you?

SOOKIE

I'm sorry.

LORELAI

No.

SOOKIE

Oh, I mean, I'm so friggin impossible. You're so good to me, and you go to all this trouble, and you get me everything I want, then I don't want it anymore. [Lorelai smiles warmly at her friend] I'm sorry that you have to be in love with a crazy person.

JACKSON

Come here. [Sookie leans into his embrace] I'll tell you what -- I'll deal with as much moodiness and food weirdness as you can dish out as long as you do the actual "squeezing a human being out of your body" part.

SOOKIE

[chuckles] Deal.

JACKSON

Okay. That car just slowed down as it went past the house.

LORELAI

Jackson, why don't you get away from the window and go relax or something?

JACKSON

Oh, I shouldn't be near a window.

SOOKIE

Why don't you take it easy, sweetie, and go check on Davey?

JACKSON

All right, but if anyone calls for me, I'm not here... and I'm armed and dangerous. [exits again]

LORELAI

[warm tone] He lo-o-o-ves you.

SOOKIE

Then he's certifiable... because I'm certifiable, and you have to be certifiable to put up with that.

LORELAI

Hey, you're pregnant. You're not supposed to be normal. [stands and walks to the kitchen to put away groceries]

SOOKIE

[Chuckles] I guess so. And it may be mean, but when I worry too much about how I'm treating Jackson, I just remember Brandy.

LORELAI

Brandy?

SOOKIE

Christopher's Brandy.

LORELAI

Christopher's Sherry?

SOOKIE

Oh. [Chuckles] I knew it was something like that. Anyway, I'm handling this all better than her. How is he, anyway?

LORELAI

Christopher? Fine. [pause] Wow, you know what? I have no idea. He never called me again.

SOOKIE

Really?

LORELAI

Not once since I went over there. I assume he's doing fine, but I don't know.

SOOKIE

He never called? All those problems with the baby were solved in one night?

LORELAI

Kind of weird, isn't it?

SOOKIE

A little.

LORELAI

You never know with him. He's as unpredictable as a pregnant woman. No offense.

SOOKIE

[Chuckles] None taken.

LORELAI

I hope he and G.G. are okay. The last time I was over there, he was duct-taping her diapers, but... I'm sure he's found the tabby thingies by now. Yeah, I'm sure he's okay.

SOOKIE

Milk chocolate and artichoke hearts.

LORELAI

What?

SOOKIE

That's what I want, and I'm not going to change my mind. Milk chocolate and... bell peppers! [excitedly hops to her feet]

LORELAI

Ah.

SOOKIE

Now I'm not going to change my mind. Jackson, I figured it out! Milk -- dark chocolate. Ooh, taffy! Taffy and walnuts. [Gasps] Taffy -- OOH, pistachios! Ooh, hearts of palm! [she walks out of the room]

RORY

Paris, please don't compare our reading speeds again. You're fast, I'm slow. Enjoy your trophy.

PARIS

I need the exact time of today's sunset.

RORY

I'm in the middle of an article.

PARIS

Well, if you read faster, you wouldn't be.

RORY

Okay, the time of today's sunset is 4:31.

PARIS

Okay. Then I just have to keep my mind occupied until 4:31.

RORY

Paris.

PARIS

What?

RORY

Tell me again why you're fasting for Ramadan.

PARIS

Look, Rory, if you want to crib your articles from the A.P. Wire, that's your business. I, on the other hand, actually give a rat's ass about journalistic integrity. When I write about Ramadan, I experience Ramadan. Are you chewing gum?

RORY

What? Yes. Why?

PARIS

I'd really prefer it if you didn't chew it at me.

RORY

Paris, did you know that not eating can make people kind of snippy?

PARIS

Ramadan is about a lot more than just not eating. It calls for a total abstinence from food particles passing through the mouth or nose. Your bazooka is passing through my nose.

RORY

It's unlocked. [Marty walks in carrying a paper sack] Hey, Marty.

MARTY

So, I just bartended this crazy brunch with chocolate fountains and floating ice sculptures, and I snagged us all kinds of hors d'oeuvres. [indicating the two bags he's carrying]

PARIS

[sarcasm] Oh, nice going, bucko.

MARTY

[eyes Paris timidly] Okay, so, she didn't really mean "nice going," right? 'Cause there's sort of a devil-eye thing going on.

RORY

She's fasting.

PARIS

People came to America to escape religious persecution.

MARTY

Well, what religion is anti-leftovers? [eyes Paris warily]

RORY

Hello.

LORELAI

Hi. Guess where I am?

RORY

Mom.

LORELAI

Go on, guess.

RORY

Oh, I don't know, Luke's?

LORELAI

But not just at Luke's -- on the phone at Luke's, and it's all perfectly legal because I'm on the diner's phone.

RORY

A loophole. Nice.

LORELAI

You got to love a loophole.

RORY

Getting to use Luke's behind-the-counter phone, that's like getting to wear his letterman jacket.

LORELAI

I know. Maybe now he'll ask me to the sock hop.

RORY

I'm glad you guys are all loopholey and sock-hoppy. It's nice.

LORELAI

Yeah. Well, um, I just called to, you know, uh, brag about my loophole and check on plans for Friday night dinner.

LUKE

Hey!

LORELAI

Hon, hold on a sec.

LUKE

What are you doing back here?

RORY

You didn't have permission to be behind the counter, did you?

LORELAI

You don't need permission if you're the girlfriend.

LUKE

[lectures] A sack of potatoes falls on your head, the insurance company doesn't care if you're the girlfriend.

LORELAI

Well, you're storing potatoes in a very weird place if you're worried about them falling on people's heads.

LUKE

[scolds and shoo's] Go. Go. Get.

LORELAI

Okay, I'm getting.

RORY

He's kicking you out?

LORELAI

No. It's just my boyfriend's so protective of my safety, the thought of food falling on my head makes him crazy. So, anyway, what's better for you -- carpool or meet there?

RORY

Meet's better, I guess.

LORELAI

Okay, honey, I'll see you there.

RORY

Oh, wait -- there's something I want to run by you.

MARTY

Can't you just plug your nose or something?

PARIS

Sure, ask a billion Muslims to plug their noses. That makes a lot of sense, Marty.

RORY

Okay, so, I've got an idea.

LORELAI

Finally this Yale thing's kicking in.

RORY

I am sick of humoring Grandma and Grandpa during this stupid separation of theirs. This "drinks here, dinner there" is dumb. It's not working, and we should not do it anymore.

LORELAI

Well, if you feel it is best to end the Friday night dinners, then as your mother, I feel it is my duty to support you.

RORY

I'm not saying we should end Friday night dinners.

LORELAI

Okay, well, then, as your mother, I feel it is my duty to tell you you're wrong.

RORY

We need to take a stand. No more humoring. We need to get them in a room and talk some sense into them, and to do that, I think we should divide and conquer. So this Friday, I'll have dinner with one, and you'll have dinner with the other.

LORELAI

Uh-huh. Hey, what happened to the idea of ending Friday night dinners? - Because I thought that one had real potential.

RORY

This way, we can each talk to them one-on-one, break them down, convince them that their separation isn't okay with us.

LORELAI

It's not?

RORY

Mom, I know they both want to be with each other.

LORELAI

Hon, my parents are very stubborn. I don't want you to get your hopes up about the outcome.

RORY

But I can't stand it the way it is. I think they both miss each other, but they're just too proud, and it's just -- it's kind of breaking my heart.

LORELAI

So...which one do you want me to take?

RORY

How about I'll take grandpa, and you'll take grandma?

LORELAI

Ahh, no!

RORY

Okay, then I'll take grandma, and you take grandpa.

LORELAI

Ahh, no!

RORY

Mom.

LORELAI

Can't I take the butler? He doesn't talk much, and as far as I can tell, thoroughly enjoys the way I dress.

MARTY

She's throwing things at me. Religious sanctuary, please.

RORY

[to her mother] The butler is not an option.

LORELAI

Fine, I'll take her.

RORY

Thank you. Bye. [clicks off phone. Marty joins her on the edge of the bed. He hands her a paper bag.] Ooh. What's the bacon wrapped around?

MARTY

Something bacon should never be wrapped around.

RORY

Rich people.

MARTY

They live very different lives.

LORELAI

Thanks.

LUKE

So, that was Rory?

LORELAI

Yeah.

LUKE

How's she doing?

LORELAI

Fine.

LUKE

With the Dean thing and all, the breakup?

LORELAI

She sounds okay. Actually, she's petite, but she's strong.

LUKE

Good. I'm glad.

LORELAI

Don't gloat.

LUKE

I'm not gloating.

LORELAI

Yes, you are.

LUKE

I just said I'm glad she's okay. That's not gloating.

LORELAI

It was your tone, like you were covering up for being gloaty by sounding extra non-gloaty.

LUKE

Lorelai.

LORELAI

You always hated him. I get it.

LUKE

I never hated him. I just never thought he was right for Rory, and I swear, I'm not gloating.

LORELAI

Well, I don't know. If it walks like a gloat and quacks like a gloat --

LUKE

I wasn't.

LORELAI

I got to go. Kiss. [leans forward and Luke meets her half-way over the counter. They kiss]

T.J.

I stink. There's your headline. Keep your distance.

LUKE

[to Lorelai] You better run.

LORELAI

I'll call you later. [gathers her jacket and purse and stands]

LUKE

If I don't strangle myself with the phone cord, I'll answer. [returns to his paperwork]

LORELAI

Hi, T.J.

T.J.

Three feet, Lorelai, 'cause I haven't showered in as many days.

LORELAI

Uh-oh. Goodbye, T.J. [scoots around him carefully and exits]

T.J.

[to Luke] I need your shower, buddy.

LUKE

Sorry. Broken.

T.J.

Really? 'Cause you're looking powder fresh.

LUKE

I am not powder fresh.

T.J.

Come on, Luke, we got no water at our new place, and the flies, they are a-buzzing. [waves his hand] Man!

LUKE

Fine, use my shower, T.J. [points to the direction of the stairs]

T.J.

You're the best, you know that? I worship you.

LUKE

Yeah, you should build an altar to me. You know, I know I shouldn't ask you this, but why isn't your water turned on?

T.J.

'Cause the pipes got trashed after I demo'd the upstairs bathroom.

LUKE

You weren't going to demo the bathrooms.

T.J.

But I had a little accident installing the towel rack, and the next thing you know, the whole bathroom's demo'd.

LUKE

Because of the towel rack?

T.J.

I got very angry at this towel rack.

LUKE

Yes, that's very normal.

T.J.

But I got some replacement pipe. I just got to cut it up into shorter pieces and stick it together, and we're good to go.

LUKE

Okay, sounds like you know what you're doing.

T.J.

I just need some kind of tool that cuts pipe. What would you call that?

LUKE

[sarcastic] I don't know, a pipe cutter?

T.J.

That's it! A pipe cutter! You know anyone who's got a pipe cutter?

LUKE

I have a pipe cutter. Would you like to borrow it?

T.J.

That cuts pipe, right?

LUKE

Hey, T.J., Why don't you just hire a professional?

T.J.

Because I'm trying to be responsible. What with the move and being in escrow and everything, I'm not exactly flush, so I figured I'd do it myself. [uses the "pity me" face] Is that so – wrong?

LUKE

[fatalistic] I'll help you cut the pipe, T.J.

T.J.

[mood immediately brightens] Oh, hey, that's beyond the call. You've got to be the best brother-in-law in the world.

LUKE

Uh-huh. Thanks. Anything else?

T.J.

You know, it's real hell trying to make coffee without water.

LUKE

Have some coffee, T.J.

T.J.

And a cruller to cut the bitterness 'cause sometimes -- no offense -- I find your coffee a little bitter. I mean, it's good. It's just a little bitter.

MICHEL

We need to talk.

LORELAI

Shoot.

MICHEL

There's a couple here I thought I recognized, but I was not sure, so I consulted an old guest ledger from the Independence Inn and found a physical description that confirmed their identities.

LORELAI

Physical description?

MICHEL

Yes. I had described them with astonishing accuracy, down to the crooked eyes and unsightly moles.

LORELAI

You have a system of describing what people's moles look like?

MICHEL

Mm-hmm. Moles, freckles. What is their weight? Are they buxom? Is their chin cleft? Do they walk with any sort of limp? But this is beside the point. You remember the bathrobe bandits?

LORELAI

[feigns a gasps then returns deadpan] No.

MICHEL

The married couple from Massachusetts that stole bathrobes from the Independence Inn every time they came. We call them the bathrobe bandits. They are here.

LORELAI

Did they bring their moles?

MICHEL

With your permission, I'm going to remove their bathrobes from their room as a preventative measure.

LORELAI

No, no, Michel, come on. If they steal robes, we just charge their credit card.

MICHEL

And if they take a credenza or a couch -- do you think they'll stop at robes?

LORELAI

Then I'll start jotting down mole locations along with you, but for now, let's take a flier on them.

MICHEL

I should never tell you anything.

LORELAI

Promise?

MICHEL

I'm going to leave a vaguely threatening note in their room. [exits]

LORELAI

No, no, no, Michel. No. [to his retreating form]

CHRIS

Hello.

LORELAI

[cheerily] Well, if it isn't Mr. Incommunicado.

CHRIS

Lorelai.

LORELAI

I figured you'd turned Amish or something and couldn't make any calls until Rumspringa, but, no, here you are, answering the phone.

CHRIS

[a bit uncomfortable] Uh, yeah.

LORELAI

So, how are you?

CHRIS

Uh, fine.

LORELAI

Is this a bad time?

CHRIS

No, not at all. Uh, so, what's going on?

LORELAI

Not much. Just working at the old salt mine. But earlier, I was talking to Sookie who, by the way, got herself knocked up again, the crazy slut. So anyway, we were talking about babies and stuff, and she asked me about you and G.G., And that's when I realized I hadn't talked to you in a while, so here we are.

CHRIS

Sorry I haven't called. I've just, you know, been really busy.

LORELAI

Okay, well, no worries. I know you've got your plate full taking care of G.G. [pause] Um... are you sure this isn't a bad time? [chuckles nervously]

CHRIS

No. No, it's fine. Uh, fine.

LORELAI

Okay, so, how is G.G.? Is she still alive? The last time I was there, things were a little dicey.

CHRIS

She's good. Everything's fine, Lor. Everything's good. Your help was great, and I'm absolutely... fine.

LORELAI

Okay, well, good. So, I guess I'll talk to you later.

CHRIS

[pauses between phrases] Sure. Definitely, okay? I'll talk to you later. Take care.

LORELAI

Okay. Bye.

CHRIS

Listen, Lor, I just want you to know that I only called you before because I was desperate. I mean, there was no other reason. I was just panicked, and I didn't think, you know?

LORELAI

Chris, sure.

CHRIS

I know that I shouldn't have bothered you. I know you have your own life and your own stuff and I shouldn't be bugging ya, but it was just a one-time thing, you know? So, you don't have to worry about it.

LORELAI

Chris, come on. You can call me anytime you want. You know that.

CHRIS

Yeah, well --

LORELAI

I'm always here for G.G., Whatever you need. Because we got bonds, baby. Just try to break 'em.

CHRIS

Thanks, Lor.

LORELAI

No problem.

CHRIS

Anyhow, G.G.'s great. I've got new pictures, too. I can e-mail them to you, if you want.

LORELAI

Or bring her around next time you're in the hood.

CHRIS

Stars Hollow's a hood now?

LORELAI

Oh, it's always been a hood. We just try to keep it on the down-low. But seriously, you should come by.

CHRIS

Well, I'm going to be adjacent to the hood on Saturday because I'm taking G.G. to see her grandparents.

LORELAI

Come by Saturday.

CHRIS

Are you sure? I don't want to --

LORELAI

come by. We can have lunch here at the inn -- you, me, and G.G. That way, I can check she's still got all her arms and legs.

CHRIS

All right, sure. Sounds good. Uh... Saturday it is.

LORELAI

Okay. See you then.

CHRIS

Yes, you will.

LORELAI

Bye. [Beeps as she clicks off her phone.]

RORY

Grandpa, it's fine.

RICHARD

No, it certainly is not fine. When you're entertaining an elegant young lady for dinner, then dinner is expected.

RORY

But I just sprang this on you. You can't be held accountable for your lack of elegant-young-lady food.

RICHARD

Well, I am delighted with your company, though I'm still a little confused at the new arrangement.

RORY

Well, Mom and I realized that we don't really get to spend as much time with you and Grandma since the separation, so we decided to split up.

RICHARD

Well, uh, how would you feel about, uh... ooh, some, uh, batteries and Nutella? [pulls them from the refrigerator shelf]

RORY

Oh, rats. I had that for lunch.

RICHARD

[puts items back and shuts door] Well, that seems to be all I have in here. Robert's shopping skills leave something to be desired.

RORY

So, grandpa --

RICHARD

Wait! I think I have some canned peaches. [goes hunting in another cabinet]

RORY

You've really made it comfortable out here.

RICHARD

Huh. Pears.

RORY

Nice. Like a vacation spot. You know, fun and all yours -- not permanent, but fun for now.

RICHARD

Yes, well, fun for now is exactly what I was going for.

RORY

So, it's not permanent?

RICHARD

What?

RORY

The pool house. It's not permanent. You just said "fun for now."

RICHARD

Did I? I must have heard it somewhere.

RORY

I mean, don't get me wrong. It's good to shake things up every now and then -- you know, put a little paint on the house, move the furniture around the den, go blond -- but after you've done all that, it can also be nice to go back to something that's comfortable, something you've depended on for, let's say, 40 years. I mean, if something's been around that long, it must be for a reason, right?

RICHARD

You're a lovely girl.

RORY

I have good genes.

RICHARD

Oh! I think I remember seeing a frozen pizza in here.

RORY

Really?

RICHARD

Aha! Now... the downside of this discovery is that since Robert is currently doing all the shopping, this pizza could have been here since Lorelai's 10th birthday party. The upside, however, is that there is cheese in the crust.

RORY

I've always been a "glass is half full" kind of gal myself.

RICHARD

All righty, then. Here goes nothing.

EMILY

[mutters under her breath] Stupid little -- I can't find -- ridiculous. He should have taken...

LORELAI

What, Mom?

EMILY

Oh, nothing. I'm just trying to make a proper drink, that's all.

LORELAI

Sorry about the change of plans.

EMILY

Oh, please. I'm as flexible as the next person.

LORELAI

See, Rory thought that since Dad's moved out to the pool house, we're not getting enough time with either of you, so --

EMILY

I guess I could use the ice in the freezer, though it's probably old. You know what they say – a little notice ensures fresh ice.

LORELAI

I'm sorry, who says that?

EMILY

We'll just have to have scotch neat.

LORELAI

Super.

EMILY

I'd offer you wine, but all the wine I have has to breathe.

LORELAI

And that requires notice.

EMILY

[joins Lorelai on the loveseat. Lorelai stares.]. What are you looking at?

LORELAI

Nothing. It's just -- isn't -- isn't this weird to you?

EMILY

What?

LORELAI

Sitting next to each other?

EMILY

Would you like me to move?

LORELAI

No, it's fine. It's just... close.

EMILY

Will you explain to me again why we are doing this?

LORELAI

I have no idea because you usually sit over there.

EMILY

I'm talking about Rory being in the pool house, Lorelai.

LORELAI

Rory just thought we should split up tonight, get in some quality... couch time.

EMILY

It seems very silly. We had a perfectly good system worked out. I don't know why we changed it.

LORELAI

Mmm. [pause as she sets down her drink] So, Mom, do you think you and Dad are getting back together?

EMILY

Absolutely not.

LORELAI

Okay, got any peanuts?

EMILY

Your father has proven to me once and for all he's moved on with his life.

LORELAI

You don't think the moving on with his life would have actually included moving?

EMILY

No.

LORELAI

Okay.

EMILY

We attended the Dorman School Bazaar last week. It was a big, formal gathering. All our friends were there. And at dinner, he made me reach for the butter.

LORELAI

What?

EMILY

It was sitting right there in front of him, and yet he didn't offer me the dish. He buttered his own roll, offered the dish to the man next to him, and that was it.

LORELAI

And that's why you think he's moved on?

EMILY

It was a total disregard for my needs. I might as well not have had a roll in front of me at all.

LORELAI

Well, Mom, I'm sorry.

EMILY

It's very upsetting. But at some point, you have to face the facts, and the facts are he's moved on, and therefore, I should move on also.

LORELAI

Absolutely. "Moveon-dot-Org."

EMILY

I think it's time for me to date.

LORELAI

[chokes on her drink] Oh, my God!

EMILY

I want to go on a date.

LORELAI

With... a man?

EMILY

No, a weasel. Of course with a man!

LORELAI

[tries to cover her ear with a free hand] I'm not hearing this.

EMILY

Why shouldn't I date? I'm still a viable commodity.

LORELAI

I need a paper towel and a valium, please.

EMILY

There are plenty of men at the club who, in the past, have made their interests in me known. I just need to figure out how to reciprocate their feelings. You have a lot of experience with men. How do you let them know that you're available?

LORELAI

Well, one of those bench ads usually does the trick.

EMILY

Lorelai, stop it. I need help here. It's been years since I did this, and I don't remember the proper procedure. Now, take me through this step by step. You see a man, you walk up to him, and you say...

LORELAI

Hello.

EMILY

Is that too forward?

LORELAI

No, it's the appropriate way to indicate you're open to a social engagement. Unless, however, you are approaching a weasel. Then I believe the proper signal is just to offer him your hindquarters.

RORY

Hey. My night was great.

LORELAI

Oh.

RORY

Grandpa made frozen pizza. Granted, he made it on a cedar plank, which was not what the manufacturer intended, but I got a chance to say a lot of things to him -- things about living in the pool house and about him and Grandma, and though I used veiled references, I know he got my point, and he is definitely thinking about it. How did you do?

LORELAI

Grandma wants to date.

RORY

What?!

LORELAI

She wants to date men who hang out at the club and who have expressed interest in her in the past.

RORY

What do you mean, she wants to date? You weren't supposed to make her want to date. You were supposed to make her want to get back together with Grandpa!

LORELAI

Hey, I told you not to make me have dinner alone with her.

RORY

What did you say to her?

LORELAI

I said, "are you getting back with Dad?" And she said he wouldn't butter her roll.

RORY

I can't believe you.

LORELAI

I'm sorry. I tried.

RORY

You did not try.

LORELAI

I did try. I just sucked at it. Look, she probably didn't mean it, okay? She's just mad at Dad, and she was just talking. Next week we'll switch. You can have dinner with my mother, and I'll marry my dad off to a nice baroness.

RORY

Don't joke.

LORELAI

Don't hate me.

RORY

I don't hate you. I can't hate the pathetic.

LORELAI

Good. Now, I have a complaint to register. Because of your flawed plan, I was deprived of Friday night with my kid.

RORY

I was trying to reunite your parents.

LORELAI

Oh, sure. Now they're my parents. So anyway, I was thinking, if you're not busy tomorrow, how about you come meet me for lunch at the Dragonfly?

RORY

What time?

LORELAI

1:00-ish?

RORY

See you tomorrow.

LORELAI

Okay.

RORY

And stay away from Grandma.

LORELAI

Ooh, gee, there's a demand.

CHRIS

I like that it's got rooms. Very novel for an inn.

LORELAI

Mmm, the guests love it when they don't have to sleep communally. They pay extra for it.

CHRIS

Good squeaky stairs, helps sell the old-inn aspect.

LORELAI

Actually, we had those squeaks installed.

CHRIS

Squeakmasters?

LORELAI

Oh, you've used them?

CHRIS

Oh, several times.

LORELAI

Reception's over there, living room's through here. Hey, you recognize the bobblehead dolls on the mantel?

CHRIS

You put those out in public?

LORELAI

Hey, they are a cherished part of my childhood. Plus, all the dirty pieces broke off 10 years ago, so now they're just charming.

CHRIS

I like the jukebox.

LORELAI

I thought you would. And here's where we feed them.

CHRIS

You feed them, too?

LORELAI

And once a day we let them use the bathroom or sit on the furniture.

CHRIS

Classy joint.

LORELAI

So, I'm thinking you should order the steak sandwich and the garlic bread or – [to waiter] thanks. Or fried chicken -- seriously good fried chicken. Or, yeah, get the pork chops 'cause normally, eating pork chops is very similar to sucking on the pottery barn catalog, but Sookie does this brining thing in a saltwater bourbon solution. Sounds a little like laundry, but it's actually unbelievably good. [notices Chris grinning at her] Hmm. What?

CHRIS

Nothing. Just -- you did it.

LORELAI

[confused] I...

CHRIS

You did it. [waves a hand indicating the Inn]

LORELAI

Yeah, I think I did. [leans forward onto the table becoming serious]

CHRIS

How sappy is it going to sound if I say that I'm proud of you?

LORELAI

Oh, my God. So sappy.

CHRIS

Yeah, well, I am.

LORELAI

Thanks, Chris.

CHRIS

Yeah. Okay, so, I think you were trying to talk me into the pork chop.

LORELAI

[Chuckles] Yes, I was.

RORY

Mom. Hey, I –

LORELAI

Hey, surprise! Look what Mommy dragged in.

CHRIS

Hey, Rory.

RORY

Hey, Dad.

LORELAI

[Chuckles] You haven't said hi to your sister yet.

RORY

Oh, right. [walks around and kisses the baby's forehead] Hey, G.G. Remember me? I'm Rory.

CHRIS

I show her your picture all the time.

RORY

[mild enthusiasm] Great. Thanks.

LORELAI

Your timing's perfect. I'm starved. Have a sit. Isn't this a nice surprise?

RORY

Uh, very nice, yes. I like to see G.G.

LORELAI

How are you doing there, uh, G.G.? That thumb tasting pretty good there? If you soak it in a saltwater bourbon solution overnight, you'll see a major improvement.

ROB

Uh, Lorelai, excuse me. There's an incident in the front you may want to check in on.

LORELAI

Okay, Rob, thanks. I'll be right back. Don't say anything hilarious while I'm gone. [Lorelai exits]

CHRIS

Rory --

RORY

One thing. I've only asked you for one thing ever.

CHRIS

This wasn't my idea.

RORY

Stop.

CHRIS

Rory, I didn't call. After you asked me not to, I didn't. Your mother called me. [Rory scoffs] She called me because she hadn't heard from me in a while, and the reason that she hadn't heard from me in a while is because you asked me to stay away, and I did. Please stop shaking your head.

RORY

I don't believe you.

CHRIS

She called me, Rory. She called me. She asked me to lunch.

RORY

You didn't have to accept.

CHRIS

I had absolutely no good reason to say no. What was I supposed to do, tell her that you didn't want me to see her anymore? I didn't want to rat you out. I'm sorry. Look, I didn't even know you were going to be here. This is as much a surprise to me as it is to you.

RORY

Oh I see. So, you didn't think I was going to be here, so, therefore, it makes it safe to come because maybe I wouldn't find out about it.

CHRIS

No, Rory, no. That is not how it went down. You know what? I don't have to explain myself to you. I've done absolutely nothing wrong here.

RORY

Fine.

CHRIS

Look, I'm sorry you're upset, but you know what? Your mother and I have had a relationship long before you ever existed. We grew up together, we had a child together, and no matter what is going on, that does not change.

RORY

Great. You knew her first. So that gives you the right to just waltz in and screw everything up?

CHRIS

I did not waltz in. I did not call her. You cannot make me the bad guy here.

RORY

Hey, if the black hat fits --

CHRIS

I'm your father, kid, okay? I think that demands a tiny bit of respect here.

RORY

Fine.

LORELAI

See, this is why I love this job. Michel has been obsessed with these guests who he swears are the notorious Bathrobe Bandits from the Independence Inn -- at least the moles match – [both Rory and Chris listen silently] so apparently, they were checking out, and Michel stopped them and demanded they open their suitcases, and they refused, so he grabs the guy's suitcase and starts tearing through all of his stuff, which, of course, went over really well. And when I got there, the wife was calling the cops, and the husband was chasing Michel around with a golf club. It took a comped bill and two free bathrobes in addition to the ones they had stolen to get them to drop the charges. Plus, Michel ripped his pants, and his underwear is pink and shiny. [Silence. Chris smiles weakly. Lorelai chuckles nervously] Did I not hit "pink and shiny" hard enough? Should it have been "his drawers are pink and shiny"? I'm confused 'cause I was going to hit the Orpheum circuit with that materi

CHRIS

[uncomfortable] Nope. Uh, nothing. Look, Lor, I should be going.

LORELAI

What? No, we didn't get our briny pork chops yet.

CHRIS

I know. I just -- I really need to get to my parents' house, and G.G.'s going to need her nap soon.

LORELAI

She can nap here.

CHRIS

Oh, no, it's okay. The place looks great, really, and tell Sookie I said thanks from me, and bye, Rory.

RORY

Bye.

LORELAI

Chris.

CHRIS

[OS] I'll call you later.

LORELAI

Okay, start connecting those dots.

RORY

Did you call him and invite him to lunch?

LORELAI

What?

RORY

Did you call him and invite him to lunch?

LORELAI

Yeah, I did.

RORY

He didn't call you?

LORELAI

No.

RORY

He didn't initiate this?

LORELAI

No.

LORELAI

Rory, what is going on? [Rory looks stunned] Huh? Answer me.

RORY

I went to see Dad.

LORELAI

When, today?

RORY

No, a while ago, right after Sherry left. I told him that I didn't want him to call you anymore.

LORELAI

Why?

RORY

Mom... come on.

LORELAI

No "Mom, come on." Why? Why did you do that?

RORY

I didn't want him to screw anything up between you and Luke.

LORELAI

Oh, kid. You are so far off here. That is not going to happen.

RORY

Every time he comes back, he ends up messing up your life.

LORELAI

Not true.

RORY

It's completely true. He wants you back, and then he disappears or Sherry gets pregnant or he loses his job or he just takes off -- whatever. No good reason necessary. And it's been like this forever, and you just let him do it. You can't help it.

LORELAI

Rory, come on.

RORY

You can't just break free of him.

LORELAI

What are you talking about?

RORY

You're engaged to Max, and then suddenly, you're not.

LORELAI

Christopher had nothing to do with Max.

RORY

Who was the person you were calling from your bachelorette party?

LORELAI

I was drunk. I tried to call Abe Vigoda, too, if you remember.

RORY

You're just always waiting for him to get himself together.

LORELAI

No, no, hon. I'm not always waiting for him. There have been times when, yes, it would have been nice to actually be with the father of my kid, but... not now. I'm with Luke completely.

RORY

What did he say when you told him?

LORELAI

Told who what?

RORY

Luke. What did he say when you told him you were having lunch with Dad?

LORELAI

Nothing.

RORY

He didn't care?

LORELAI

No, he didn't care. He didn't have to care 'cause there's nothing to care about.

RORY

[somewhat unconvinced] If you say so.

LORELAI

I appreciate you being concerned for me, but don't be. I'm good.

RORY

Okay.

LORELAI

Let's order, shall we?

LORELAI

She was so serious. You know how she gets really serious, like when she saw "The Way We Were," and she couldn't believe that Hubbell was going to leave Katie after she had the baby?

SOOKIE

Oh, I remember. She talked about it for weeks.

LORELAI

"How could he do that? She was the only one who cared about the blacklisting. She was the only one who thought he could write a novel." On and on and on. That's the face she had on today.

SOOKIE

She's just worried about you.

LORELAI

Then when she threw that "What did Luke say" thing at me.

SOOKIE

She's got a good left hook.

LORELAI

I lied to my kid, Sookie. I hate that I lied to her, but I didn't want her to think there was any weird reason why I didn't tell Luke.

SOOKIE

Was there any weird reason that you didn't tell Luke?

LORELAI

Sookie, come on.

SOOKIE

I don't know. Maybe you were afraid that he'd get jealous. I'd be afraid that Jackson would get jealous.

LORELAI

I was not afraid he'd get jealous.

SOOKIE

He did beat up a car.

LORELAI

One time.

SOOKIE

That we know of.

LORELAI

No, I didn't tell him because it was no big deal. [Sighs] I thought it was no big deal. I should have told him, right?

SOOKIE

Well --

LORELAI

yeah, I should have told him. Now he's going to think I'm hiding something from him, and I'm not. Damn it. He's going to beat up my car.

SOOKIE

[Chuckles] It's American. It can take it.

JACKSON

I came home from work, and I found these on the doorstep. What the hell is this supposed to mean?

SOOKIE

Hon, maybe it's just a joke.

JACKSON

No, this is not a joke. This is a threat.

LORELAI

Yeah, those people at Butterick Patterns play pretty rough.

JACKSON

This is the fish on the doorstep. It's the horse head in the bed. It's the "either your signature or your brains are going to be on the contract."

SOOKIE

Jackson, calm down.

JACKSON

I will not calm down! I told them I would not do any ribbon-cutting ceremonies.

SOOKIE

Who's "them"?

JACKSON

Them! The town. The lunatics who voted for me!

SOOKIE

Okay, could you put the giant scissors down and then do the waving around?

JACKSON

We have to move. Pack up. We're getting out.

SOOKIE

Okay. Or you could just ask them at the next town meeting not to leave giant scissors on our porch anymore.

JACKSON

Town meeting? Oh, no. No way. There will be no town meeting.

LORELAI

What?

SOOKIE

There's going to be lots of upset people.

LORELAI

The town meeting is a 200-year-old tradition.

JACKSON

Tradition over! Only hell waits for me at town meetings. Spread the word. [stomps back into the house]

LORELAI

That's sweet. He's having sympathy mood swings.

SOOKIE

He loves me.

LUKE

How are you doing? You need coffee?

LORELAI

No.

LUKE

No?

LORELAI

Sure.

LUKE

Sure?

LORELAI

Yes, coffee good.

LUKE

Your cup's full.

LORELAI

Oh, well, then, no. No. Coffee bad.

LORELAI

Hey, did I tell you about the Bathrobe Bandits?

LUKE

Nope.

LORELAI

Uh, well, very funny story. Back at the Independence Inn, there was this couple, and they would come in all the time and steal the bathrobes. They made Michel crazy, so today –

LUKE

Up. [indicates her plate and coffee]

LORELAI

[lifts the plate] Oh, right. And today, they showed up.

LUKE

Who?

LORELAI

The bathrobe bandits – they showed up, and they stayed, and then they were checking out and then get this -- the bellboy comes running over and tells me to "come quick. There's a situation in the lobby." So I come running to the lobby --

LUKE

You can put your plate down.

LORELAI

Right. So, I run to the lobby, and Michel is being chased, and the wife is calling the cops, and I comped their room and gave them free bathrobes to stop the yelling and the calling. This is a very bad story.

LUKE

It wasn't that bad.

LORELAI

This is the second time I told it, and both times, crickets. [Sighs and takes a sip of coffee] I mean, Rory and Christopher looked at me like I was Pauly Shore.

LUKE

Christopher?

LORELAI

Rory's dad. He came for lunch today. I had lunch with him today, and Rory. Had lunch -- Rory and Christopher and G.G., His daughter with Sherry. He brought her 'cause Sherry moved to France, so he's a full-time dad now, and we all had lunch, all of us together... today. And when I told the "Bathrobe Bandit" story, they all acted like that. Except G.G., who spit up 'cause she's a baby. That's what they do.

LUKE

Okay. [turns and walks into the kitchen]

LORELAI

[Sighs with relief] Okay.

LORELAI

Hello.

EMILY

[OS] You get over here right now!

LORELAI

Who is this?

EMILY

[OS] This is you in 20 years! "Who is this?" I swear!

LORELAI

Mom, calm down.

EMILY

He'll be here in one hour, and I have no idea what to wear. You've got to come right now.

LORELAI

Who'll be there in one hour -- Dad?

EMILY

Simon McLane.

LORELAI

Who is Simon McLane?

EMILY

He's my date.

LORELAI

What?!

EMILY

I have no idea what to put on, I'm in a blind panic, and it's all your fault!

LORELAI

How is it my fault?

EMILY

Because I used your line, and it worked.

LORELAI

What line?

EMILY

[OS] "Hello."

LORELAI

"Hello" is not my line. "Hello" is not a line. "Hello" is hello.

EMILY

Well, all I know is I "helloed" him today, and now he's taking me to dinner.

LORELAI

[OS] Uh, Mom...

EMILY

If you don't get over here right now, I'm going to book a D.A.R. function at the Dragonfly every single weekend from now until I die!

LORELAI

I'll be right there.

LORELAI

Mom? Are you -- [A bunched-up dress flies past her face onto a nearby bed] oh, God! Chanel attack.

EMILY

[OS] Look at the red pantsuit.

LORELAI

The... [looks around]

EMILY

[frantically] The red pantsuit. The red pantsuit. Right there, right there, right there. [indicated with one of her laden arms]

LORELAI

I got it, I got it. [picks up the outfit] Here.

EMILY

Well?

LORELAI

Nice.

EMILY

Nice?

LORELAI

It's nice and red and panty-suity.

EMILY

It's horrible. He'll think it's horrible.

LORELAI

No.

EMILY

It's horrible. Simon will be here in 20 minutes, and I have nothing to wear. [tosses both garments she's carrying onto the bed]

LORELAI

Just tell him you're obsessed with "Butterfield 8" and go like that.

EMILY

I haven't done this in years. I have no idea what's appropriate to wear. I have no idea what's appropriate to say. I don't know what to talk about, what to order -- which one?

LORELAI

[Chuckles] They look exactly the same.

EMILY

They are not exactly the same.

LORELAI

Um, okay. Then... that one.

EMILY

Why?

LORELAI

Why what?

EMILY

[cross] Why did you pick that one? What was the logic behind your picking this particular one? Could it possibly be because it was closest?

LORELAI

[smiles brightly] Well, you know what they say about location.

EMILY

You're just picking anything so that I'll get dressed and you can leave.

LORELAI

No, Mom, I don't want to leave. I'm never leaving. In fact, I'm going with you.

EMILY

I'll never be ready on time. [Panting] I haven't finished my hair. I haven't finished my makeup. Oh, my goodness. I can't breathe. I'm actually having trouble breathing.

LORELAI

Mom, sit.

EMILY

I can't sit. I'll wrinkle my clothes.

LORELAI

You're not dressed yet.

EMILY

What? Oh, my God. I'm losing my mind. [they both sit on the edge of the bed] I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm dating. I'm single.

LORELAI

You're not single.

EMILY

[despondent] That's just a formality. You know, I remember the night I got married. Oh, I was panicked. I thought, "this is it. I'll never have a chance to be with anyone else. This is it for life." If only I'd had a crystal ball, I might have been able to eat my salad. I remember it looked delicious.

LORELAI

Mom, is this really what you want to do?

EMILY

Yes, it is.

LORELAI

Okay. [Sighs] Wear the black.

EMILY

Thank you.

LORELAI

Mm-hmm.

EMILY

What about the –

LORELAI

[without hesitation] – the burgundy works fine, too.

MISS PATTY

Jackson! Jackson, stop! Oh, Jackson! [the truck stops. She approaches the window] Oh, thank God. I'm frantic!

JACKSON

What's the matter?

MISS PATTY

My accompanist just passed out. [pointing toward her studio]

JACKSON

She what?

MISS PATTY

She was playing the tarantella, and then suddenly, she stopped and fell off the stool. Come on! [pulls open his door]

JACKSON

[concerned as he gets out] Well, is she breathing?

MISS PATTY

I don't know.

JACKSON

Did you -- did you check her pulse?

MISS PATTY

No. What a good idea. Oh, you're such a smart man. [grabs his hand and pulls him toward the dark building]

JACKSON

Well, thank you.

MISS PATTY

A little faster, honey. The poor woman is just lying there.

JACKSON

Well, maybe we should call 9-1-1.

MISS PATTY

She's right over there in the corner.

JACKSON

Why is it so dark in here?

MISS PATTY

The town meeting is now in session.

T.J.

You know, we work pretty good together.

LUKE

I guess.

T.J.

No "guess." We do. We got, like, a rhythm, a groove thing. We can survive in the woods together, start a new civilization, if need be.

LUKE

I think you'd need a woman for that.

T.J.

Oh, right. Okay, maybe Liz could come, except we couldn't share her 'cause she's your sister, and that's a bad way to start a new civilization.

LUKE

How about you and Liz go start a new civilization? I'll stay here in this one.

T.J.

No, come on. We could solve this. Okay, Lorelai could come. And now her, we could share.

LUKE

Okay, no more new-civilization talk.

T.J.

Okay by me.

LUKE

Hey, T.J.

T.J.

Yes, Luke.

LUKE

Do you consider yourself a jealous man?

T.J.

Why, are you planning on cutting some pipe with another guy tomorrow?

LUKE

Never mind.

T.J.

I'm sorry. You were asking me if I consider myself a jealous man. I don't, and let me tell you why. Jealousy is bad. Jealousy is what landed me in jail... twice. I learned quickly that without an immediate influx of cash, I could no longer afford to be a jealous man. Supply and demand, my friend.

LUKE

So, you're saying if Liz had lunch with... an ex, it's no big deal, right?

T.J.

Right.

LUKE

Right. I mean, it's an old ex, a long time ago, ancient history. But if she had lunch, and she didn't tell you about it at the time, but eventually she did tell you, you should just let it go, right? I mean, you don't want to be reading anything into anything. You just make yourself crazy and her crazy, and then everybody's crazy, right?

T.J.

[angrily] Who the hell is Liz having lunch with?!

LUKE

What? What? No one.

T.J.

You just said she had lunch with an ex!

LUKE

Come on, T.J.!

T.J.

Was it Art?

LUKE

No, its not..

T.J.

I swear to God, if it's Art, I'm going to -- I told him never to come sniffing around her again!

LUKE

Hey, T.J.! Hey, it wasn't Art!

EMILY

I have to tell you, every time I hear Mahler's Seventh Symphony, I get ridiculous, giddy. It's like The Beatles on "The Ed Sullivan Show."

SIMON

Well, Mahler can do that to you.

EMILY

Did you see the Cleveland Orchestra when they were here last month?

SIMON

I went every single night.

EMILY

Oh, I should have done that. I went the last night and then to the gala afterward.

SIMON

Their conductor that night --

EMILY

Rudolfski.

SIMON

Did you know that he's deaf in his left ear?

EMILY

I did know that. [conspiratorially] In fact, I have a very evil friend who likes to sit next to him at all the gala dinners and whisper incredibly scandalous things into his bad ear all night long.

SIMON

Well, who knew Emily Gilmore ran with such a bad crowd?

EMILY

Oh, yes, I'm very dangerous. Ask my maids.

SIMON

Have I told you how happy I am you said hello to me at the club?

EMILY

Twice. And so am I.

WAITER

How are we doing here?

SIMON

We're doing fine.

WAITER

Would you like some more wine?

EMILY

Why not?

LORELAI

Okay, so, you know what's great about this country?

LUKE

Nope.

LORELAI

If you try hard enough, you can eventually find a showing of "St. Elmo's Fire" on the big screen.

LUKE

Yes, that's what gets us the good seats at the Summits.

LORELAI

Come on, admit it. Rob Lowe pretending to play the saxophone was incredibly hot.

LUKE

[dryly] Oh, I admit it.

LORELAI

And also, Andrew McCarthy at his best. Though "Less Than Zero" runs a very close second.

LUKE

I'm sure it does.

LORELAI

You hated the movie.

LUKE

Yes. Although I love the fact that it got me out of a town meeting, so all in all, a very successful evening.

LORELAI

You sure you can't stay?

LUKE

[Sighs with frustration] I've got really early deliveries tomorrow. I'll make it up to you this weekend.

LORELAI

I'm going to hold you to that, Mister.

LUKE

Oh, by the way... it's fine about lunch.

LORELAI

What?

LUKE

You having lunch with Christopher -- I just want you to know I'm fine with it.

LORELAI

Oh, okay. Good.

LUKE

Yep, all right. See you tomorrow.

RORY

Breaking your fast?

PARIS

[mouth-full of food] Oh, my God. I love food. You want some?

RORY

I'm good.

PARIS

It's for me.

MAN

[OS] Pizza. $34.95

RORY

Need some money?

PARIS

Oh, I got it. Do you want to have some? There's plenty. [She takes two pizza boxes from a delivery man.]

RORY

No, thanks. I'm going to Marty's.

PARIS

Okay. [She runs back to the table and the door closes. She eagerly flips open the first boxes lid.] Well, where's the cheesy bread? I ordered the cheesy bread.

MARTY

Okay, I remember something about Rome. Rome. Rome. Romans lived there. Uh, Audrey Hepburn took a holiday there. It's the name of a "B-52's" song.

RORY

Different "roam."

MARTY

[Sighs] Okay, that's it. I can't remember. College is breaking my spirit. Every single day telling me things I don't know -- it's making me feel stupid.

RORY

Oh, okay, I need a break. [Closes her workbook and leans back]

MARTY

I second that.

RORY

Oh, man, I'm tired. Living is exhausting. This week sucked. I'm so glad it's over.

MARTY

Why did it suck?

RORY

Just a ton of schoolwork and Ramadan.

MARTY

Oh, sure.

RORY

I broke up with my boyfriend this week -- that was fun -- [Marty watches Rory with concern] in front of a bunch of people at my grandmother's house. And then, because apparently that wasn't enough "Peyton Place" for me, I have this whole thing going with my dad, who's suddenly back in my life again.

MARTY

Yeah, dads can be tough.

RORY

I spent so many years just -- I couldn't wait till he showed up. And now he's showing up, and... I don't know. I'm just really tired. [lays down her head]

MARTY

You know... once I found out my father wasn't really my father... we started getting along much better.

RORY

Stop it. [Chuckles sleepily]

MARTY

I'm serious. Suddenly the pressure was off. If something happens, I don't automatically have to give him a kidney. I can weigh my options. It was a real turning point in our relationship. [long pause] So, you broke up with your boyfriend, huh? Rory? [He looks over to see her sleeping peacefully. He crosses his arms over a pillow and sighs with frustration.]

LORELAI'S MACHINE

I'm exhausted. The phone's far. Make it short and sweet. [Beeps]

CHRISTOPHER'S VOICE

Hey, Lor, it's me. Are you there? [pause] Okay, well, I'm just calling 'cause lunch ended bad, and I'm sure you've talked to Rory by now, so you know why it ended bad, and I just wanted to talk. [Lorelai approaches but stops herself from answering the call] Give me a call when you get in. I'll be up late. Okay, bye. [Answering machine beeps off]

SIMON

It's been a long time since I've had an evening quite as enjoyable as this one.

EMILY

I'm choosing to believe you, Simon, partly because it's flattering and partly because I've had three glasses of wine and a lemon cello.

SIMON

So, do you think we could possibly do this again sometime?

EMILY

That would be lovely, Simon.

SIMON

I'll call you this week. Good night. [He grasps and squeezes her hand warmly]