T7E22: “Bon Voyage”

LORELAI

I'm telling you, it's her.

RORY

Trust me, it's not.

LORELAI

It is.

RORY

Why would Christiane Amanpour be hanging out at the Dragonfly?

LORELAI

I don't know.

RORY

She wouldn't.

LORELAI

She is.

RORY

You went up to her and said hi, and she said, "Hi, I'm Christiane Amanpour, nice to meet you"?

LORELAI

No, I didn't go up to her at all. I looked at here and saw that it was her, and I went to get you.

RORY

So I could look at a fake Christiane Amanpour?

LORELAI

She's real.

RORY

Yeah. Remember the time when you thought saw Sandra Day O'Connor?

LORELAI

Yeah well this is different and I haven't had any cough syrup.

RORY

I guarantee you it's not her.

LORELAI

You doubt my ability to recognize a glamorous, international war correspondent?

RORY

I guarantee you it's not her. Oh, my god, that's Christiane Amanpour!

LORELAI

That's what I told you.

RORY

I can't meet Christiane Amanpour in my pajamas.

LORELAI

I tried to get you to change, you wouldn't change.

RORY

Well how long has she been here?

LORELAI

I don't know I just saw her eating breakfast and I went home and got you. Hey, Michel, Michel, how long has Christiane Amanpour been here?

MICHEL

Ah she checked in late last night, room 7.

LORELAI

She's staying here?

RORY

[gasps]

LORELAI

You didn't tell me?

MICHEL

I wanted to avoid yet another embarrassing incident.

LORELAI

What are you talking about?

MICHEL

You always embarrass yourself when celebrities stay at the inn.

LORELAI

I do not.

MICHEL

Jane Pauley, Harry Belafonte, Marisa Tomei.

RORY

He's right, you know?

LORELAI

No, no, Marisa Tomei's mother's best friend is my hairdresser's cousin's roommate. That's just freaky.

MICHEL

I'm just saying you make them uncomfortable.

LORELAI

I run an inn. These are my guests. What am I supposed to do -- ignore them?

MICHEL

I think that might be best.

LORELAI

I'm gonna go over and say hi and see if she'll meet you.

RORY

What? Okay. Wait. Don't be funny.

LORELAI

Excuse me, Ms. Amanpour?

LORELAI

Hello, I'm Lorelai Gilmore. I run the inn.

LORELAI

Thank you so much. Um I'm sorry to bother you, but my daughter is a huge fan of yours, she always has been.

LORELAI

Yeah she just graduated from Yale, actually, where she was the editor of the Yale Daily News.

LORELAI

Anyway, Um she'd love to meet you, if that's okay.

LORELAI

Yes, she is. Rory, come here.

LORELAI

Come on. Okay, here she is. This is Rory Gilmore. Rory, meet Christiane Amanpour.

RORY

Nice to meet you, too. I'm sorry to meet you in my pajamas. I don't usually walk around town like this.

RORY

I just think you are so inspiring. Your reporting is so bold and moving and fascinating and I know you've won nine Emmys, but I just don't think that's enough -- not that you care about that kind of thing, but I just want to say thank you.

RORY

Oh, thank you. I want to pursue a career in journalism.

RORY

Oh, I'd love to work for a major daily.

RORY

Any one that will take me.

RORY

That's my plan.

RORY

Seriously?

RORY

Thank you.

LORELAI

Nice to meet you.

RORY

Nice to meet you.

RORY

Thank you.

LORELAI

Thank you so much.

LORELAI

[Gasps]

RORY

I can't believe I just met Christiane Amanpour in my pajamas.

LORELAI

Well, I'm sure you made an impression.

LORELAI

All right after "Great Adventure" the next Roller coaster would be here at Lake Compounds, home of the "Boulder Dash".

RORY

Love it.

LORELAI

"The number one choice of wooden roller coasters" according to Mr Arthur Levin of about.com.

RORY

Oh yes the venerable Mr Levin, a legend in coast criticism.

LORELAI

So you've heard of him.

RORY

Well of course what coast connoisseur hasn't?

LORELAI

"Great airtime" he says "smooth ride, relentless speed from start to finish" you can admit it if you're scared.

RORY

What I'm not scared, are you scared?

LORELAI

No I'm not scared, I'm not the one who screams.

RORY

That happened once.

LORELAI

Really busted my eardrums.

RORY

You want to keep talking smack or you want to tell me what comes after the Boulder Dash?

LORELAI

How about the "Cyclone" in Coney Island. And then we can head west to the "Millennium Force" Ohio, this calls it a "Giga Roller coaster"

RORY

You know what I say, no hands, eyes open that's right you heard me.

LORELAI

I'll believe it when I see it.

RORY

Well believe it. Okay I am done, 74 résumé's, addressed and sealed.

LORELAI

Not at all excessive.

RORY

Well I just wanted to make sure I didn't leave a stone unturned.

LORELAI

Yes rocks, pebbles, boulders they've all been turned.

RORY

Well I got it all done before our big trip, can you believe it. OH man I have a lot of books.

LORELAI

Hey there is a cool "State-Fare" coaster in Springfield, 50-mile detour, worth it.

RORY

Hum. Aw [pulls something out of a box].

LORELAI

Aw.

RORY

The rocket.

LORELAI

The rocket... Have you talked to him.

RORY

No. It comes in waves, you know, big ones, really close together.

LORELAI

Well the waves will get smaller, I promise. Just have to give it time you know. Have to feel sad and get through it.

RORY

Believe me I'm letting myself feel plenty sad.

LORELAI

Oh that's good, I mean it's not good you know, under the circumstances, it's good.

RORY

I just can't imagine it feeling better.

LORELAI

But it will someday I promise.

RORY

Yeah, do you feel better about Luke?

LORELAI

[Not sounding convincing] Ah, yeah I feel better because I think we're done.

RORY

What, maybe you guys just need more time.

LORELAI

More time, I've given him all the time in the world. Every time I'm venerable or I say something or do something like the song he doesn't do anything.

RORY

Well he's always been a little slow to respond.

LORELAI

Yeah I don't want to make any more excuses you know.

RORY

I just don't think he's over you.

LORELAI

Well it doesn't matter, I'm over him. I need someone who can feel you know, show me how he feels. He can't do that.

RORY

I guess that make sense.

LORELAI

Anyway we're batter as friends you know, don't you think. Like "Hey Luke can I get some coffee", you know friends like that. Like "Hey Luke can you make all the burgers for Rory's re-enactment graduation party?" you know.

RORY

What re-enactment graduation party?

LORELAI

It's just a graduation re-enactment party we're gonna have for all the people who couldn't go to your actual graduation.

RORY

Re-enactment, how?

LORELAI

All you have to do is throw on that cap and gown again, you know and go up on a little podium again, that someone is gonna build and listen to the high school band play "Pomp and Circumstance".

RORY

Mom!

LORELAI

What it's a party, it's gonna be fun!

RORY

Ah, you own me.

LORELAI

Okay I'll get you lots of cotton candy and I won't make fun of you when you scream.

RORY

I'm not gonna scream.

LORELAI

Once a screamer, always a screamer.

RORY

I was seven.

LORELAI

Like that counts.

LUKE

All right, give me 300 hot dogs, 250 burgers.

CHARLIE

How about brats?

LUKE

No brats. And enough buns, obviously, to go with all that.

CHARLIE

Buns got it, you know brats go over very big at outdoor parties.

LUKE

Yeah well I know the woman throwing the party, and she and her daughter are dogs-and-burgers people. Al right the party's Saturday, so I want delivery on Friday okay.

CHARLIE

No sweat. I'll give you half off brats.

LUKE

Somebody cancel a big order, Charlie?

CHARLIE

I tried to tell her, "Lady, nobody eats Bratwurst at a wedding."

LUKE

[chuckling] Right. I'll see you, man. Thanks.

CHARLIE

Hey Liz

LIZ

Oh, hey, chuck, how you doing?

CHARLIE

I'm good.

LIZ

There's your uncle Lukie! Say, "hi, uncle Lukie!"

LUKE

HI Doula,

LIZ

When she just stares like that, that's her way of saying hi.

LUKE

Works for me. How you doing, Liz?

LIZ

Oh pretty good. How about you?

LUKE

Oh, god, I'm crazed. You want something to eat?

LIZ

No, we just stopped by 'cause Doula misses her uncle Lukie. She really misses him.

LUKE

Yeah look I cannot baby-sit today.

LIZ

[begging] Please! I just need a little break.

LUKE

Come on I'm really swamped today al right. Besides, I'm really trying to lay in the stuff for Rory's party next week.

LIZ

Please I really want to get something special for that party, and every item of clothing that I own is covered in spit-up.

LUKE

Sorry.

LIZ

Okay, if you can't do it, you can't do it. So arr, did you give it to her?

LUKE

What?

LIZ

The necklace -- did you give it to Lorelai yet?

LUKE

That was just a backup gift for Rory.

LIZ

Oh come on that was no backup gift. And what about the song?

LUKE

D..d.. f.. forget about the song. The song meant nothing. We're friends. That's it.

LIZ

Oh and you're good with being just friends.

LUKE

Yeah.

LIZ

I don't buy it.

LUKE

Well then maybe you should give her the necklace then. I'm really busy here.

LIZ

Fine, fine. Hey could you mix a sweet potato and a banana in a blender? It's Doula's favorite.

LUKE

Sure. [Goes to make it] And don't slip out while I make it.

EMILY

I don't see why Rory had to take this meeting during our Friday night dinners.

RICHARD

Emily.

EMILY

Well it's not even an interview. If it was an interview, I would understand, but it's a drink.

LORELAI

It's a contact, mom. She's trying to remind him who she is.

RICHARD

As if anyone could forget.

LORELAI

I know. You know Rory wants to make sure she's got her bases covered before we go out of town so that she can relax and have fun.

EMILY

But I don't think this drink should eat into our time.

LORELAI

Well maybe we'll stay later.

EMILY

For after-dinner drinks?

LORELAI

[Sounding hazer dent] Maybe.

EMILY

So, how long will you two be gone?

LORELAI

Oh, a couple weeks, a month.

EMILY

You're riding roller coasters for a month?

LORELAI

As long as our stomachs can take it.

EMILY

This is what Yale graduates do?

LORELAI

Mother she's tired. She needs a break. Plus, this might be my last shot.

EMILY

You last shot, what are you talking about?

LORELAI

Well, she's gonna get a job, and who knows where? You know, she's gonna move on. This might be the last time I can really spend time with her like this.

EMILY

Honestly, Lorelai, must you be so maudlin?

LORELAI

I'm not being maudlin. I'm being realistic.

RICHARD

So, how are things at the inn?

LORELAI

Oh, good. Busy, but good.

EMILY

I have an idea for you.

LORELAI

Oh, no.

EMILY

Hmm?

LORELAI

Oh, no, don't stop there. Go on.

EMILY

I think you should add a spa to your inn.

LORELAI

A spa?

EMILY

Yes, spas are exploding.

LORELAI

Sounds dangerous.

EMILY

All of our friends are trading island vacations for spa holidays.

LORELAI

I don't know, mom.

EMILY

When I was the Ballantyne Resort, it got me thinking. This is really something I think you should do. Small country inns are old news, Lorelai. Destination spas are what everyone's talking about.

RICHARD

[Nods in agreement]

LORELAI

Mom, I told you business is good. I don't need to rub people with rocks or wrap them in seaweed.

RICHARD

Well, the travel market is fickle. It wouldn't hurt to stay ahead of the curve.

LORELAI

I don't have the money for expansion. [Doorbell rings] Ooh here she is,

EMILY

Will you at least think about it before you say no?

LORELAI

Yes, I will think about it.

RORY

Hi, sorry I'm late.

RICHARD

Rory.

LORELAI

How were the drinks?

RORY

Good, I got a job.

LORELAI

[Gasps]

EMILY

What tonight?

RICHARD

Tonight?

RORY

I leave in three days. I can't leave in three days.

RICHARD

Whe... Wha... Leave where?

LORELAI

What's the job, honey?

RORY

Well, I was having drinks with Hugo Gray, right?

RICHARD

Who's this Hugo Gray?

LORELAI

He runs an online magazine. Rory's been writing for him.

RORY

So we were just talking about different opportunities that might come up and where I've already applied, and he mentioned that the reporter that was covering the Barack Obama campaign for him dropped out because his fiancée got a job in Dubai, so they're moving.

LORELAI

Wow!

RORY

So Hugo asked me if that was something I'd be interested in and I said "yes I would be interested" and he told me more about it and apparently I would be on the campaign trail with the other reporters -- the planes, the buses, the whole deal. And I mean it's only an online magazine, so I wouldn't be staying where the Wall Street Journal people stay at night but...

LORELAI

Who cares?

RORY

But I would be traveling with them. I'd be filing stories from the road right up until the convention.

RICHARD

So have you talked salary yet?

RORY

Yeah, it's next to nothing, but all my meals and travel and hotels would be covered, so I wouldn't have that many expenses.

RICHARD

Well that's fine. You're just starting out. Plus, it sounds like you'll be making excellent contacts.

RORY

I would be.

EMILY

It could be quite grueling, Rory -- all that constant travel, the seedy motels.

LORELAI

She can handle it.

RORY

I hope so. I said yes.

LORELAI

That's great.

RORY

It is, right?

LORELAI

Ah you're gonna be working on a presidential campaign.

RORY

I know but that also mean in three days I'd be leaving for who knows how long. It could be two months, it could be two years if Barack does well. And what does that mean -- I'm only gonna come home on holidays? That's crazy. And I need some transition time, and the roller coasters -- how am I gonna go on all the roller coasters if I have to leave and have to be in Iowa on Monday at the town hall meeting at the Quality Inn and Suites Ballroom in Sioux City?

LORELAI

You're gonna be fine.

RORY

[Sighs] What about the roller coasters?

LORELAI

We'll do it another time. This is what you've been working for.

RORY

Yeah. I guess it is. [Sighs] I would have credentials -- real press credentials. Isn't that crazy?

LORELAI

It's not crazy.

EMILY

So, this is it. This is the last time we'll see you for who knows how long.

RORY

Oh, yeah, I guess it is.

LORELAI

After-dinner drinks for sure.

RICHARD

[Raising his glass] Hear, hear.

RORY

But this list they gave me is just ridiculous. Where am I gonna find a laptop car adapter by tomorrow?

LORELAI

24-hour laptop-car-adapter store.

RORY

Seriously, mom.

LORELAI

Well honey that's our mission today. We'll buy or borrow. Hey, Caesar, is Luke around?

CAESAR

Sure. How are we today, ladies?

LORELAI

Fine.

RORY

We'll be finer with a little coffee.

LORELAI

Two to go, please.

CAESAR

With pleasure. Hey, Luke, you got company. Here, let me take that.

LUKE

I got it.

CAESAR

Let me.

LUKE

I'm fine.

CAESAR

It's not a problem.

LUKE

It's becoming one. Take it. All right.

CAESAR

Sorry.

LUKE

Hey. [Tot Lorelai] Hey, Rory!

RORY

Hi.

LORELAI

Hi, what was all that about?

LUKE

Oh he's just trying to show me he can handle things, you know if I leave.

LORELAI

If?

LUKE

Well t he boat trip's been cancelled, but Caesar's got it in his head that I'm gonna leave at some point so he can prove he can -- whatever.

CAESAR

Java one, java two.

LORELAI

Thanks [Too Luke] So, Luke... [Sighs] Remember all the burgers and hot dogs I ordered for Rory's party a week from Saturday?

LUKE

Yeah, sure.

LORELAI

I have to cancel them.

LUKE

Why?

LORELAI

Well the party's cancelled.

KIRK

Wait a second, did you just say Rory's graduation party is cancelled?

LORELAI

Oh ho, it's good news. [Pointing to Rory] Someone got a job.

LULU

What job?

RORY

I'm gonna be a reporter for an online magazine.

LORELAI

Oh it's better than that -- she's going to Iowa, and she's gonna be on the campaign bus with Barack Obama.

BABETTE

No party at all?

LORELAI

Babette.

LUKE

Congratulations. That's great news.

RORY

Thank you. Yeah I'm really excited, but I'm nervous. I have to be a real reporter, yikes.

LUKE

You'll be a great one.

LORELAI

She will, so, sorry, but no Rory, no party.

BABETTE

But you promised us a re-enactment.

KIRK

We can still do the re-enactment. Remember my suggestion -- Lulu plays Rory?

MISS PATTY

It's not the same, Kirk. And I was so looking forward to having a good cry at the re-enactment..

LORELAI

Uh, okay. You want a re-enactment? We can, we can give you one right, right now. Uh come on, Rory. Okay, so watch this. [Sings "pomp and circumstance"] Okay, and, everybody, the graduate, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore. Ooh. Ooh. Here you go. And shake the hand.

RORY

Thank you.

LORELAI

Thank you. And you are one of tomorrow's future leaders today.

RORY

I am so happy. I am so glad to have graduated Summa-cum-Luke.

LORELAI

And then the thing. [miming the moving of the tassel on the hat] Okay. Yay!

BABETTE

That's not how I imagined it.

LORELAI

I'm sorry, guys. I wish we could do the party. I really do. We just don't have time. She's leaving in two days.

MISS PATTY

Two days?

RORY

I know. It's really soon.

LORELAI

We just have a lot to do.

BABETTE

So this is goodbye?

RORY

No this isn't goodbye, I'm gonna come by tomorrow and visit everybody. I'm not ready for this to be the real goodbye.

LORELAI

Yeah this is more like a "see you later."

RORY

Yeah, I'll see you guys later.

LORELAI

Okay? So see you later.

RORY

Bye

LUKE

See ya.

BABETTE

Bye, dollfaces. [Heavily sighs] No party.

LUKE

Hey.

SOOKIE

Hey, Luke, how's it going?

LUKE

Good. It's going good. How are you?

SOOKIE

Ooh Good. Hey, I apologize for the smell in here, but I'm making bouillabaisse. It's kind of at the stinkiest part -- a lot of uncooked fish and garlic.

LUKE

It smells good to me.

SOOKIE

Well you're very kind. You looking for Lorelai? 'Cause she's out and about, and I don't know when she's coming back.

LUKE

Yeah, I know. I saw her in town.

SOOKIE

Oh.

LUKE

Yeah.

SOOKIE

Yeah. So, what's up?

LUKE

Well, you know she cancelled Rory's graduation party?

SOOKIE

Yeah. I mean I knew that kid wouldn't last a whole summer at home before landing some kind of amazing job, but, god, it happened so lightning fast.

LUKE

You know I was thinking maybe we should throw it anyway.

SOOKIE

Oh, yeah?

LUKE

Yeah, I mean it's a week sooner than we planned, but there's no reason we can't do it.

SOOKIE

I guess not.

LUKE

And I think we should make it a surprise party.

SOOKIE

Who doesn't love a surprise?

LUKE

Yeah I got all the hot dogs and the hamburgers, and the buns are on their way today anyway.

SOOKIE

You know, that's a very sweet idea Luke.

LUKE

Yeah, I think Rory would really love it.

SOOKIE

I think Lorelai would love it.

LUKE

Yeah, Rory and Lorelai.

SOOKIE

Yeah, Rory and Lorelai.

SOOKIE

I think we should do it!

LUKE

Yeah.

SOOKIE

Yeah, yeah.

LUKE

All right. I'll start telling everybody.

SOOKIE

Okay what do you need from me?

LUKE

Desserts.

SOOKIE

Aha! Well, I'm all over it.

LUKE

Okay.

SOOKIE

Give Jackson a call.

LUKE

Okay.

SOOKIE

He'll help you with whatever you need.

LUKE

Al right Okay, thanks, Sookie.

SOOKIE

Okay.

LUKE

All right, bye.

RORY

I don't know, I think it would have made more sense to get a regular-sized shampoo bottle instead of 20 tiny ones.

LORELAI

With the big bottle you got to lug it off and on the bus.

RORY

Lug! How big do they make them?

LORELAI

Look the little bottles give you as much shampoo without the weight. Perfect for travel -- plus, they're cute.

RORY

Al right. Oh, I want to stop by the post office. I want to get tons of blank postcards. You are gonna get so many postcards.

LORELAI

You could just e-mail me.

RORY

Yeah but postcard-sending is a dying art form. Right, and it's nice to get mail.

LORELAI

Sure.

RORY

Plus, we'll talk all the time.

LORELAI

Yeah. What else do you need?

RORY

Um, a mini book light. Ah man I had a mini book light, but I lent it to Paris. And by "lent," I mean she totally stole it.

LORELAI

I think we have a mini book light in the lost and found at the inn. It's been there like a month.

RORY

Oh poor rejected book light.

LORELAI

Maybe you should adopt it and give it the love it needs.

RORY

All right. Check.

LORELAI

What else do we need? Ooh, hey, I have a great idea. Come here.

RORY

What, where are we going?

LORELAI

Remember last year when Miss Patty hurt her back during rehearsal for spring fling?

RORY

Oh yeah she should have never demonstrated the Jetés for the little daffodils.

LORELAI

She had one of those back-support things that you put on top of chairs. I bet she'd loan that to you.

RORY

Yeah but do I really want to be known as "back-support-thingy girl"?

LORELAI

AH, hello, two-hour speech, metal folding chairs, and now I'll take questions for an hour.

RORY

Just call me "back-support-thingy girl."

LORELAI

That's weird. She never locks this.

RORY

Miss Patty?

LORELAI

Miss Patty?

MICHEL

Oh, hello, girls.

LORELAI

Hi, is everything okay?

LORELAI

Oh, yes, everything is fine. I'M... consulting with my muse.

RORY

Your muse?

MISS PATTY

Yes! whenever I want to think up a new dance routine, I come in here alone, lie down on the floor in the dark, and I let the muse inspire me. Did you want something?

LORELAI

That's okay, we'll come back when you're not with your muse.

MISS PATTY

Okay, good.

LORELAI

Okay, well, so we'll...

LORELAI

[To a closed door] See you later.

RORY

Odd.

LORELAI

Very odd.

MISS PATTY

Okay, they're gone.

BABETTE

Good. Let's get this meeting going.

TAYLOR

Once again, this is not a "meeting," per se. We have already broken several Robert's rules of order.

BABETTE

So don't tell Robert.

LANE

Yeah besides, isn't it worth breaking rules over? It is Rory, for god's sake.

BABETTE

So lets start divvying up the duties, who's gonna do the food?

LUKE

I got hot dogs and hamburgers and a couple of big grills in the square, and Sookie's got the rest covered, right Jackson?

JACKSON

She's at home baking right now. You name the fruit, it'll be in one of her pies.

MOREY

Can she make a sour-cream/peach pie?

JACKSON

I'll put it on the list.

KIRK

I'd like a blackberry.

JACKSON

Oh she makes a wicked blackberry and cranberry.

MISS PATTY

What about cherry? Cherry is a classic.

TAYLOR

Please, could we stay focused? People, this gathering is unofficial, as such I would like to have it over with as soon as possible. Now, Luke, I assume you have obtained permits to use two large grills with open flame on our town square?

LUKE

[Flustered] Uh, no, I don't, I don't have any permits. I just, I just started this whole thing a couple hours ago.

TAYLOR

Outdoor barbecuing sans permit is a violation of town codes. As selectman, I can't approve that.

BABETTE

Hey Taylor If this meeting is unofficial, then whatever you say is unofficial, so Luke's barbecuing, what else.

LANE

Music. There's got to be music.

LUKE

Yeah, who's got a good sound system?

MOREY

Yo!

KIRK

I believe I can also be of some help in this area. I'd gladly donate my time and expertise as deejay. Did a little deejay work back in college. Went by the moniker "Captain K."

LULU

He's really good at scratching.

BABETTE

Yeah we've all seen that.

LUKE

Okay what about decorations?

LULU

I have a bunch of stuff left from a school birthday party – Mylar balloons, streamers.

TAYLOR

There are not going to be any Mylar balloons. They are infamous for floating up and catching on power lines. It could cause an outage for the whole town.

MOREY

The closest power lines are six miles out of town.

TAYLOR

Nonetheless...

LUKE

[Standing up] Nonetheless, Lulu, why don't you bring those balloons and whatever else you got?

TAYLOR

You people are violating town ordinances left and right. This is highly irregular.

ZACH

Dude, you're who's highly irregular.

TAYLOR

Excuse me?

LUKE

I don't know what your problem is, but the town wants to throw this party, and you're either gonna join us or you're gonna stay home and comb your beard.

LUKE

Okay, all right, we're gonna need chairs and tables and volunteers to set them up around the gazebo. Okay we're all gonna get started in the square tonight after dark, okay?

TAYLOR

This will remain an unofficial party, you hear men, unofficial!

RORY

You should come along. It would be fun.

LORELAI

No you need some alone time with Lane.

RORY

Yeah but it's cutting into our you-and-me time.

LORELAI

There's plenty of time.

RORY

36 hours is not plenty of time.

LORELAI

That's not true. Imagine if you had a 36-hour flight. That would seem like a long time, right?

RORY

Yeah.

LORELAI

All right plus, I have to go to Sookie and Jackson's to get you that fanny pack.

RORY

Really?

LORELAI

What "really"?

RORY

You honestly think I'm gonna wear a fanny pack?

LORELAI

All I know is, it's on the list, and if it's on the list, I'm getting it for you. You think Tom Brokaw's mother sent him off to his first campaign with no fanny pack?

RORY

When, when in my right mind would I...

LORELAI

Perhaps the senator might like a piece of gum, and no one has any, and then they say, "what about that girl with the lime-green fanny pack?"

RORY

"Lime-green" I would be "Lime-green fanny pack girl."

LORELAI

And they bring you over to him, and he says, [using a mans voice] "Hello young lady, what is your name?" [Pretending to be Rory] "My name's Rory Gilmore. Here's your gum." [Normal voice] And like that, you're gum buddies with the future president of the United States!

RORY

Oh when you put it that way -- gum buddies.

LORELAI

All right look, I'll meet you back at home, okay?

RORY

Okay but take a nap, 'cause we're staying up really late.

LORELAI

I don't need a nap to stay up really late.

RORY

Okay.

LORELAI

Give my love to Lane and the boys.

RORY

I will. Bye.

LORELAI

Bye.

LANE

AND ZACH'S APARTMENT – EXTERIOR

LANE

Billy Fink.

RORY

You did not!

LANE

I did.

RORY

But Dave Rogalski.

LANE

Not technically my first kiss.

RORY

How did I not know this?

LANE

I was too ashamed to ever tell you. I mean how would you feel if your first kiss was Billy Fink?

RORY

Well just 'cause he didn't come out of the gates strong doesn't mean he didn't turn into a very handsome, dashing billionaire.

LANE

He didn't, I ran into him a few years ago, and he's living with his mom and sells shoes in Norwich.

RORY

Oh. Well, maybe he'll sell billions of shoes.

LANE

[Chuckles] How weird is this? Yesterday we're sitting on your porch playing jacks and praying to grow boobs, and now look at us. I have a husband and two babies in there, and you're about to go off and conquer the world, or at least write about it.

RORY

We've come a long way, baby.

LANE

I'll say.

ZACH

Babe.

LANE

Yeah.

ZACH

Can I talk to you a sec?

LANE

Sure what's up?

ZACH

In private.

LANE

Oh, well, I'll be right back.

RORY

Okay.

ZACH

Sorry, Rory.

RORY

No problem.

LANE

The kids okay?

ZACH

Sound asleep.

LANE

They what's going on?

ZACH

I just got a call from Luke, and they want to start setting up the square for tomorrow.

LANE

Yeah so?

ZACH

So the honoree is sitting on our porch looking out onto the square, and they can't set up until she goes home.

LANE

It's my last night with my best friend.

ZACH

Well, could you move it along, because it's getting late and we were just trying... [[Lane stops and turns to look at Zach] Hey, I'm just the messenger. [Lane looking mad] You're done when you're done. I'll let them know.

LANE

U-Hmm.

LANE

Sorry about that. [Seeing Rory sad] What's wrong?

RORY

I don't know. In the past two minutes sitting here, I've managed to completely freak myself out. The call I haven't really had a chance to stop and think about it, but I just stopped and thought, and I am really nervous.

LANE

Totally understandable.

RORY

But I'm, like, panic-attack nervous.

LANE

Rory, you're gonna do an amazing job, okay? You always do.

RORY

See? I hate that.

LANE

What?

RORY

Everyone thinking I'm gonna do an amazing job all the time, like it's a given. It's not a given. What if I'm a terrible reporter?

LANE

Then you'll figure out how to get better. [Sighs] Rory, the reason why everybody knows you're gonna do an amazing job is because everybody knows you. Yeah, you're gonna be nervous. I mean I was nervous before I had the babies. I was throwing up all the time.

RORY

You were pregnant.

LANE

True, but that was 30% pregnancy, 70% fear of being the world's worst mom.

RORY

I don't know. I just don't know about just picking up and leaving until who knows when and leaving my mom -- see? I'm not ready. What reporter freaks out about leaving their mom?

LANE

The lucky kind.

RORY

It's embarrassing.

LANE

How is she holding up?

RORY

She's fine. She's not freaked out at all. She's making lists and buying fanny packs. She's not even a little bit sentimental.

LANE

Your mom?

RORY

Yeah. She's really fine.

LANE

I'm sure she's freaking out on the inside.

RORY

I don't know. Maybe. [short pause] Lane...

LANE

Yeah?

RORY

I just... your friendship means so much to me. It's so...

LANE

Me, too.

RORY

I mean, I don't know what it's like to have a sister, but I feel like I do, you know?

LANE

Yeah.

RORY

Mrs. Van Gerbig.

LANE

Ms. Gilmore.

RORY

Hey.

LORELAI

Oh, hey!

RORY

You're ironing?

LORELAI

The flatter the clothes, the more will fit in your suitcase.

RORY

Oh right.

LORELAI

How was Lane's?

RORY

It was sad, saying goodbye.

LORELAI

I'll bet. Oh Sookie wants you to come by tomorrow and say goodbye to her. I made her a promise that you would.

RORY

Sure.

LORELAI

And I got that fanny pack from Jackson. I think you're right. -- you're never gonna wear it unless you want to be relentlessly teased but the other reporters.

RORY

Not so much.

LORELAI

But who knows? Maybe you should take it. You know maybe they're teasing reporters who don't have fanny packs. Who knows what the reporter teasing edict is these days.

RORY

Mom.

LORELAI

Yeah?

RORY

I don't get it.

LORELAI

What?

RORY

How can you be so okay with everything? Ever since I've told you that I'm leaving, you're just all busy with shopping and packing, and you seem fine with it.

LORELAI

[Sighs] It's too soon.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

If I stop to think about you leaving now, I'm gonna fall apart. We still have time left. It's too soon.

RORY

Here. I'll iron. You fold.

LUKE

Hey, guys, only six chairs to a table.

ZACH

I think we can go eight if we grab more from the high school.

BRIAN

The door's chained, but I can slip through, I'm skinny like that.

LUKE

Six is fine. Not everybody's gonna be sitting down at once.

MISS PATTY

We found enough tablecloths.

LUKE

Great.

WOMAN

It turns out that East-Side Tillie had a stash down in her basement.

MISS PATTY

Woke her up out of a dead sleep. She couldn't have been more annoyed. It was fantastic.

LUKE

Thanks.

ASIAN CAESAR

Hey Luke, I got the turntable. What's next?

LUKE

Why don't you help Kirk and Lulu with the lights.

ASIAN CAESAR

Okay will do.

LUKE

Kirk, careful stringing those lights, okay? One of those light bulbs blows, and the whole thing's useless.

JACKSON

Luke, what do you think about these?

LUKE

What do I think about what?

JACKSON

The centerpieces.

LUKE

Oh nice.

JACKSON

Sookie's idea, my vegetables.

LUKE

All right, great. Thanks.

BABETTE

Luuuuuke! Luke! [Running up]

LUKE

Yeah, Babette, over here.

BABETTE

Oh, Luke! My ankles! Look at my ankles!

LUKE

Should I ask why?

BABETTE

Bad news, doll, it's gonna rain.

LUKE

What?

BABETTE

Oh, yeah look at these ankles. They haven't been this swollen since hurricane bob. So then I checked the weather channel, and sure enough, Nick Walker confirmed it. There's a storm front moving in over Connecticut.

LUKE

It's gonna rain tomorrow?

BABETTE

First thing in the AM, Nick Walker -- you a Nick Walker fan?

LUKE

No.

BABETTE

Oh, you should be. He's just terrific -- always dead on and so charming. Of course, I've always had a thing for meteorologists. They're kinda like astronauts crossed with fortune tellers, very intriguing Anyway, he says it's definite.

LUKE

Oh.

BABETTE

Yeah, so I thought you'd want to know. Sorry for the bad news, but you know my ankles.

LUKE

No, that's true. They're never wrong.

BABETTE

No, no, My hair's only 50-50, but my ankles -- you could take them to the bank.

MISS PATTY

What we gonna do?

ZACH

We could have it in the diner.

LUKE

How you gonna fit 200 people in a diner?

ZACH

In shifts?

BABETTE

Oh what a shame.

BRIAN

Maybe we can break the party up into people's houses, like little party stations.

LUKE

You gonna wake up the whole town and arrange that?

BRIAN

It sounded dumb while I was saying it.

LUKE

I can't believe it's gonna rain tomorrow.

JACKSON

You don't suppose anybody has any idea where we could get a big wedding tent at one o'clock in the morning?

BABETTE

[Sighs]

ZACH

It was a nice idea, man.

RORY

Why is no one picking up their phones? I want to say goodbye to everyone.

LORELAI

We'll track them all down, I promise. [Gasps] Rory, look.

LORELAI

I think you're gonna get to say goodbye to everybody.

RORY

Did you...

LORELAI

No, I didn't do a thing.

LANE

We love you, Rory!

LORELAI

Whoo!

RORY

Whoo! Yeah!

GYPSY

We love you, Rory!

BABETTE

We're so proud of you.

LORELAI

Wow.

RORY

Wow.

KIRK

Rory, in my official capacity as town sash presenter, I would like to present you with this sash, which I also happened to make in my official capacity as town sash maker.

RORY

Well, thank you.

KIRK

Kneel before me. [Rory looks concerned] All right, could you at least bow your head a little bit?

LORELAI

Wow. That's quite a sash.

KIRK

I got the material from one of mother's nighties.

RORY

Ew!

MISS PATTY

We wouldn't let you go without a party, sweetheart!

BABETTE

All right, no shoving. Let's make a line. Everybody gets a chance to hug Rory.

LORELAI

I see mom and dad. I'll be right back.

LORELAI

Hey.

RICHARD

This is quite a party.

LORELAI

I know. It is, isn't it?

EMILY

We had to cancel a lunch with the Stuttgart's because we only heard about it from Sookie last night.

RICHARD

Emily, that hardly matters.

EMILY

I didn't say it mattered. I was merely relaying the fact.

LORELAI

Well, anyway, I'm glad you're here.

RICHARD

We wouldn't miss it.

EMILY

Of course we wouldn't. We're her grandparents.

LORELAI

I can't believe they did this for her.

RICHARD

I don't think this is all for Rory. I think this party's a testament to you, Lorelai, and the home you've created here. I regret that you needed...

EMILY

Richard.

RICHARD

Now, let me finish, Emily. I regret it, and we've... recent experience have taught me...

EMILY

Oh, please don't become one of those "I had a heart attack, let me express my every thought" types.

RICHARD

Not every thought, dear, just this one. It takes a r-- [Voice breaking] A remarkable person to inspire all of this.

LORELAI

Thanks, dad.

EMILY

Okay, that's enough. It's not as though the two of you are saying goodbye.

TAYLOR

May I have your attention, please? I'd like to welcome you all to this Bon Voyage party in honor of one of Stars Hollow's favorite daughters, Ms. Rory Gilmore!

RICHARD

Brava! Brava!

TAYLOR

I've known Rory, as have most of you...

EMILY

Have you given any thought to my spa idea?

LORELAI

Oh, yeah. I don't think I'm interested, though.

TAYLOR

...Glorious spring day, pregnant with pride and anticipation, preparing to birth you from our collective womb, fully gestated and nourished. And so we breathe deep, and, with these last, painful contractions, we push you out into the world, spank your bottom, and wipe the amniotic fluid from your eyes as you issue your first independent breath.

EMILY

Is this speech making you a little queasy?

LORELAI

A little bit.

TAYLOR

Rory, would you like to say a few words?

RORY

Thank you, Taylor, for that very unique tribute. Um... I love this place. I... I just loved growing up here, and I love all of you. And thank you so much for doing all of this. It's amazing. I just -- it's so -- oh, I'm on the verge of gushing, so I'm just gonna stop myself here. I don't want to gush, except one more thing -- to my mom, who is just everything to me and everything I am and who I'm gonna miss so much.

TAYLOR

[Chuckles] All right, let's get this party started.

WOMAN

No bratwurst?

LUKE

No bratwurst.

WOMAN

Just corn, then.

LUKE

What can I get you?

LORELAI

Can't decide.

MAN

Hey Luke, I'll have two hamburgers, medium rare.

LUKE

Hold on a sec.

EMILY

Lorelai, we really should be going, but I want to say goodbye to Rory.

LORELAI

I guess I'll eat later.

EMILY

Now, listen, instead of a spa, what about a tennis court? People love tennis. You could put a bubble over it.

LORELAI

Oh, god.

EMILY

Outside the inn you could use it during the summer and winter. There's really no downside.

LORELAI

Um-hmm.

EMILY

Now it's expensive, but your father and I have discussed it, and we are willing to loan you the money.

LORELAI

Oh, mother.

EMILY

Standard terms, no interest.

LORELAI

Mom, why do you want to loan me money?

EMILY

All it would require is the three of us sit down and hash out the details. Obviously we want to get together with you from time to time to see how things are progressing, but we wouldn't become pests about it.

LORELAI

Mom, why don't we just talk about it Friday night at dinner?

EMILY

Oh, so our Friday-night dinners are going to continue, then?

LORELAI

Well, we might as well. I've kind of gotten used to it.

EMILY

All right. That sounds fine. But don't be late and don't wear jeans.

LORELAI

When have I ever worn jeans to dinner?

EMILY

Well I don't know, it could very well be Rory who enforces the dress code. I'm just saying I don't think that jeans are appropriate.

LORELAI

Fine, spandex and a tube top it is.

RORY

Hey.

LORELAI

Hey.

RICHARD

My dear.

EMILY

Oh, thank you. Now, listen, you keep in touch, and not just postcards -- phone calls as well.

RORY

Of course.

EMILY

It's an honor to be your grandmother, Rory Gilmore.

RORY

Well, thank you, I... thank you for everything.

EMILY

Oh, dear.

RORY

I'll walk you guys to your car.

SOOKIE

Hey.

LORELAI

Hey!

SOOKIE

It's beautiful, isn't it?

LORELAI

It's so beautiful. I can't believe you pulled it off.

SOOKIE

No, I just did all the baking. This was all Luke.

LORELAI

What?

SOOKIE

He made me promise not to tell you, but I don't care. This is all Luke. He did all of it. He's the one that came to me and said, "let's do the party," and then he planned the secret town meeting, everything.

LORELAI

Really?

SOOKIE

Yeah. I mean last night when we thought it was gonna rain and we'd have to cancel the party, he went around and collected everybody's tarps and tents and raincoats. I don't know how he did it. He must have stayed up all night doing this. Can you believe that?

LORELAI

Yeah... I'll be back.

SOOKIE

Okay.

LORELAI

Hey, Kirk.

KIRK

[Yelling] I can't hear you! My eardrum popped!

TAYLOR

Lorelai, if you see Luke, tell him that he and he alone is responsible for all party cleanup.

LORELAI

Okay.

BABETTE

Lorelai, you want to make a Morey sandwich?

LORELAI

Maybe later, Babette.

LORELAI

Hey.

LUKE

Hey.

LORELAI

Thank you.

LUKE

Oh, it's... no big deal.

LORELAI

Luke.

LUKE

I just... like to see you happy.

LORELAI

Okay, you have these. Oh, honey, let me help you with that.

RORY

I got it.

LORELAI

Oh, no, I got it.

RORY

I know how to work a zipper, mom.

LORELAI

Okay. That's it, huh?

RORY

Yep.

LORELAI

Got everything?

RORY

I think so.

LORELAI

Oh, what about this?

RORY

That's for the plane.

LORELAI

Oh, how about these?

RORY

Um, those are old and broken. I have new ones.

LORELAI

I just feel like I need more time.

RORY

I know.

LORELAI

I really just feel ambushed, you know? I thought I had so much more... time. I thought I had all summer to impart my wisdom about work and life and your future, and I feel like I had something to tell you. Oh, on the bus, make sure you choose a good seat, you know because people are creatures of habit, and the seat you pick in the beginning could be your seat for the rest of the year. You know. Get a window seat, honey, 'cause there's so much to see. And you might want to sit in the back, because people there tend to be more chatty and friendly and -- I don't know what it is about the front of the bus, you know but people there just tend to be a little more bossy and uptight. It's just been that way since first grade. And, honey, I know what you're gonna say, but just don't wear shorts, okay no matter how hot it is. It's not professional, and all that heat and those sticky vinyl seats -- it'll be like ripping a band-aid off your thigh every time you stand up. Don't be too shy. Don't be too forward, but don't be too shy, 'cause you make a lovely first impression, but you really grow on people, too.

RORY

Mom.

LORELAI

You need ziplock bags. You should have them all the time, they're so handy.

RORY

Mom.

LORELAI

And I'm gonna give you that orange sweater. I know you've wanted it, and I'm you know what finally gonna give it to you.

RORY

Mom... You've given me everything I need.

LORELAI

[Sighs] Okay.

RORY

Okay.

LORELAI

Shall we?

RORY

What's the rush? It's, like, 5:00 A.M.

LORELAI

Got a stop to make.

RORY

Mmm. The coffee smells good.

LORELAI

Hello, old friend.

LUKE

How is it?

RORY

Mmm.

LORELAI

Your first pot is always your best.

LUKE

Good.

RORY

Thanks for opening up the place.

LUKE

I got to take care of my best customers.

RORY

[giggles]

LUKE

So, you guys know what you want?

LORELAI

Oh, hmm, I have no idea.

RORY

Looks like a delightful menu.

LORELAI

Oh, it does look delightful, charming.

RORY

Very charming, adorable fonts.

LORELAI

I wish there were pictures.

LUKE

Hmm.

LORELAI

You know, I'm gonna need a minute. I can't decide.

LUKE

Take all the time you need.

LORELAI

But could we get some eggs and bacon and hash browns to tide us over?

LUKE

Coming up.

LORELAI

And pancakes?

RORY

Hey, I like your necklace.

LORELAI

Oh, you do?

RORY

It suits you.

LORELAI

Thanks. Hey you got to be careful when you drink coffee on the bus, it's bumpy.

RORY

I can handle it.

LORELAI

I should have gotten you a sippy cup.

RORY

Maybe I should get a flask.

LORELAI

Do they make flasks for hot beverages?

RORY

Yeah they're called thermoses.

LORELAI

Right, I'll get you a thermos that says "World's Greatest Reporter" to match your cap.

RORY

Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you that I left that cap at home.

LORELAI

What?

RORY

Well It wasn't very flattering.

LORELAI

Well how will people know you're the world's greatest reporter?

RORY

I don't know.

LORELAI

I guess they'll just have to read your stuff.

RORY

I guess so.