T7E5: “The Great Stink”

LORELAI

Okay. Toothbrush, hairbrush, hypoallergenic pillow, chenille blanket... ooh, comfort shoes. Got them.

CHRISTOPHER

Those are your comfort shoes?

LORELAI

Not mine -- Paul Anka's.

CHRISTOPHER

We're staying in tonight. You can probably get away with flats.

LORELAI

He loves, loves, loves chewing on these. They remind him of a squirrel carcass.

CHRISTOPHER

Yummy.

LORELAI

Don't judge. You eat jerky like it's going out of style.

CHRISTOPHER

So, all this stuff is for Paul Anka?

LORELAI

No, not all. The toothbrush is mine.

CHRISTOPHER

Lorelai.

LORELAI

What? It's his first night staying at your house. I want him to have all the stuff that makes him comfortable. Ooh -- tennis balls!

CHRISTOPHER

I actually have tennis balls.

LORELAI

Penn or Wilson?

CHRISTOPHER

You're joking.

LORELAI

Paul Anka's must be Penn. They must be new, they must be green -- not orange and green, just green. And FYI, you might want to watch that sarcastic tone of yours because dogs are very attuned to tone. It's kind of like Chinese, in that respect, dog language. It's very tone based. And you are stressing him out right now with your tone.

CHRISTOPHER

The dog is stressed?

LORELAI

Look at him. And when he gets like this, you need to talk to him in sweet and dulcet tones. [High-pitched voice] Hi, Paul Anka. Ooh, hi, boy! Hi! [Normal voice] Get it?

CHRISTOPHER

Got it.

LORELAI

Good. Sunglasses. [goes to get them]

CHRISTOPHER

[To Paul Anka] This is not normal. I want you to know that. [To Lorelai] The dog wears Ferragamos?

LORELAI

Oh, please. Don't give him any ideas. These are mine. All right, let's go. You take this, this, and this. Come on. What are you waiting for?

LORELAI

Oops. Here, Paul Anka. [Claps]

RORY

[answers cell phone] Hey.

LOGAN

Hey, you watching it?

RORY

What?

LOGAN

The meteor shower.

RORY

What meteor shower?

LOGAN

It's on the news the BBC said there's some huge meteor shower tonight. I thought we could watch it together.

RORY

Uh, Logan, I have been in the library for the past nine hours. I don't know anything about any meteor showers. But I could use a regular shower, though.

LOGAN

Go up on the roof and check it out.

RORY

Now?

LOGAN

Yes, now! It's supposed to start in like two minutes.

RORY

But...

LOGAN

Ace! This is once-in-a-lifetime celestial event. Get going.

RORY

Okay, okay. I'm getting. I'm going.

LOGAN

Are you running?

RORY

I'm running! I'm running! Who knew you were such an astronomy buff?

LOGAN

Hurry!

RORY

What has gotten into you?

LOGAN

Nice night.

RORY

Oh, my god! You're here! What are you doing here?

LOGAN

[Chuckles] Happy to see me?

RORY

Beyond happy! [They hug] Ecstatic! I can't believe you're here! And look at me -- I'm covered in highlighter ink and I smell like Fritos and ginger ale.

LOGAN

It's an aphrodisiac.

RORY

You're here and you did all this?

LOGAN

You like?

RORY

I love, but you didn't have to do this. I mean, you're here. It's enough. It's more than enough.

LOGAN

Could you shut up now so I can kiss you?

RORY

So there is no meteor shower?

LOGAN

No meteor shower.

RORY

So you used the entire cosmos to trick me?

LOGAN

I like to think big.

RORY

So, what is going on? What, Why are you here?

LOGAN

I'm kissing my girlfriend on the roof. Mmm.

RORY

But why?

LOGAN

The Fritos and Ginger Ale thing. I told you, huge turn-on.

RORY

[Sighs] Explain yourself.

LOGAN

I'm just here for a quick business trip.

RORY

How quick?

LOGAN

Too quick.

RORY

How quick is "too quick"?

LOGAN

I have 10:00 flight back to London tomorrow night.

RORY

Oh, that is too quick.

LOGAN

That website my team has been trying to buy -- the owners finally agreed to sit down, talk to us tomorrow over breakfast.

RORY

Logan! That's great, right? I mean, three weeks ago, they weren't even taking your calls.

LOGAN

It is great. However, not as exciting as kissing my girlfriend on the roof.

RORY

Um, so, what's that amazing smell?

LOGAN

Food from Ibiza.

RORY

The island?

LOGAN

The Tapas plAce downtown.

RORY

Ooh, did you get the duck?

LOGAN

I did.

RORY

And the short ribs?

LOGAN

Yes. And...

RORY

[Gasps] Ooh! A 2003 red something. Oh I bet it's very oaky and corky and full of fruity legs.

LOGAN

Know a lot about wine, do you?

RORY

Not so much, but the label's pretty.

LOGAN

There's also gazpacho, that cheese-pie thing you love, plus flan.

RORY

Ooh, flan! You got me flan?

LOGAN

Doesn't take much to make you happy, does it?

RORY

Not when you're on this continent.

LOG

Okay, why don't you open this wine? I want to taste those fruity legs, and I'll make you a plate with extra flan.

RORY

Okay. [starts to open the bottle but then runs to Logan] Ooh, I'm so glad you're here!

LOGAN

[Sighs]

CHRISTOPHER

Ha-ha! You're killing my Tivo.

LORELAI

I'm not killing it. I'm composing on it, I'm composing a symphony. Finally, an instrument I can play.

CHRISTOPHER

Give me that.

LORELAI

No, no, no!

CHRISTOPHER

Give me!

LORELAI

Not until you explain your choices.

CHRISTOPHER

What?

LORELAI

"The View"? "Girlfriends"? "S*Bado Gigante"? Who controls this thing, you or Pedro Almodóvar?

CHRISTOPHER

It's the nanny.

LORELAI

Sure, it's a likely story.

CHRISTOPHER

Give me, give me, give me.

LORELAI

Did Gigi Get to sleep okay?

CHRISTOPHER

She did. I tried to skip to the end of "Cinderella," but she wouldn't let me. It's my own fault. My wicked stepsister voice kills.

LORELAI

She's amazing, you know?

CHRISTOPHER

That reminds me.

LORELAI

Oh, no! You're not gonna show me some of her art, are you? I never know what to say in those situations. I mean, even when it was Rory's art, you know? Three blue finger smudges and some construction paper. It's not precocious. It's just messy.

CHRISTOPHER

Here. This came a couple of days ago. It's from Sherry.

LORELAI

From Sherry?

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah, it's the first I've heard from her since the divorce was final. Go ahead and read it.

LORELAI

Wow, how "Dangerous Liaisons" of her. She doesn't call. She doesn't e-mail. Then she sends you a letter with a wax seal that weighs roughly the same as a porterhouse.

CHRISTOPHER

Well, she had a lot to say.

LORELAI

Gosh. It's a lot of sorry.

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah, 15 pages worth. Believe me, I was not expecting this. Humility is not a side of Sherry I've ever seen before. I don't know if it's the yoga or the yoga instructor or...

LORELAI

Yoga instructor?

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah, she's dating her yoga instructor, Jean-Claude or Jean-Pierre -- one of those names that always sounds fake. Anyway, it sounds like she's really changed. She feels awful about what happened, run away like that and she wants to find a way to be part of Gigi's life again.

LORELAI

Honey, that's great.

CHRISTOPHER

Right?

LORELAI

Yeah... So, you got this two days ago and you're showing it to me now.

CHRISTOPHER

Well I was gonna show it to you, a couple of days ago but I figured you were coming over so...

LORELAI

No, I'm not criticizing.

CHRISTOPHER

You're not?

LORELAI

No, I'm complimenting -- badly, obviously. But I'm complimenting. You shared it with me.

CHRISTOPHER

Well I kind of thought that was how the whole adult-relationship thing worked. You know, openness, honesty.

LORELAI

Interesting. And you're sure you don't want to stash it away somewhere and then I find it -- accidentally, of course -- months from now, and I get all weird and insecure about why you didn't show it to me sooner?

CHRISTOPHER

I'm good with the sharing.

LORELAI

All right. It's another way to go.

CHRISTOPHER

[Evil voice] That glass slipper will fit my foot. [Normal voice] That was my wicked stepsister voice.

LORELAI

Yeah, I figured.

RORY

I'm so happy.

LOGAN

Me too. [Kisses Rory on the head] You know you can't do this in London? The city lights are so bright, you almost never see the stars.

RORY

Yeah, but it's London.

LOGAN

Ah.

RORY

Wait, are you tired of London?

LOGAN

I'm tired of not being around you.

RORY

Yeah, but you can't be tired of London. Samuel Johnson said, "when you're tired of London, you're tired of life."

LOGAN

Obviously, the man was never in a long-distance relationship.

RORY

That's true. Boswell did keep quite close.

LOGAN

[Smooches] What are you doing?

RORY

Nothing.

LOGAN

You're trying to sneak a peek at my watch.

RORY

Well, I just can't believe it. I can't believe you're here. And I-I can't believe that you're leaving in only 26 hours and 45 minutes.

LOGAN

Come on think positive -- that's an entire lifetime to a fruit fly.

RORY

Actual you're thinking of a mayfly. Fruit flies can live for up to a month. So what do you think, can you stay for a month? I mean what if your meeting tomorrow goes really, really well?

LOGAN

I hope it does.

RORY

It will. It's a great idea.

LOGAN

It's basically MyspAce.

RORY

But by invitation only. And it'll be like an online version of the Algonquin group, like throwing a party in your head where everyone you've ever wanted to talk to is there -- Ira Glass, Sofia Coppola, Flaubert, Danger Mouse.

LOGAN

The deal's not done yet. Far from it. These guys aren't just gonna hand over their website because we buy them breakfast.

RORY

They might. Tell them that they can order pancakes and eggs. Don't make them choose. Sausage, bacon, fruit, potatoes -- let them get the whole combo. ‘Cause Then they will have to sell it to you. It'd be rude not to.

LOGAN

You are a business genius, Ace.

RORY

Well, I'm taking econ with my grandpa.

LOGAN

Whatever happens, we'll be ready. We've been working our asses off on this one -- Nick, Bobby, Phillip.

RORY

Oh, yes -- Phillip, Nick, Bobby. The team. Starting lineup.

LOGAN

It is a classic win-win. They give us a foothold in new media. We give them a huge influx of capital, which they need. Believe me when it comes to debt versus equity, they're screwed. They have no liquidity, huge expenses, zero revenue. I mean, the target advertising potential alone -- what? What are you staring at?

RORY

You, "Mr. Debt versus equity."

LOGAN

Are you mocking me?

RORY

Yeah, but I like it. Tell me more about this um, targeted advertising potential.

LOGAN

What do you want to know? There's pay-per-click, pay-per-lead, banner ads, pixel tagging.

RORY

Oh, stop. I'm getting weak at the knees.

RORY

[reaching for Logan] Logan?

LOGAN

Shh. Go back to sleep. It's only 6:00.

RORY

In the morning?

LOGAN

Yes, in the morning. Go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you.

RORY

Hey, where you going? Come back here.

LOGAN

I can't I promised Nick, Bobby, and Phillip I'd meet up with them for breakfast before the pitch.

RORY

I thought the pitch was at breakfast.

LOGAN

It is, but we can't walk in there unprepared. We got to go over our notes, talk strategy. It's a pre-breakfast breakfast.

RORY

Work dork.

LOGAN

Did you just call me a work dork?

RORY

Admit it, just admit that you're a work dork.

LOGAN

I'll admit that I'm a work dork, if you admit that you love I'm a work dork.

RORY

Done. [they kiss]

LOGAN

Now I really have to go.

RORY

Hey, I have ways of making you stay, you know.

LOGAN

I know, I know, but take pity on me, please. After work, I promise I'm all yours. Dinner?

RORY

Is it a pre-dinner dinner or a real dinner?

LOGAN

As many dinners as you want.

RORY

Aw, man, I can't believe we've wasted 4 1/2 hours on sleep. What are we down to now, like 15 hours?

LOGAN

Rory, I'm actually gonna need both arms for this pitch.

RORY

Okay, I'll let go. Just one more kiss.

LOGAN

I don't believe you.

RORY

Try me.

RORY

[Gasps] Hey! No fair!

LOGAN

I'll call you later.

RORY

Work dork!

LOGAN

Work dork lover.

MICHEL

[Sniffs] Gah. [Sniffs]

LORELAI

You need a tissue? Oh, god, what is that?

MICHEL

I don't know, but it's horrible.

LORELAI

Oh, it is. It's foul. It's like rotten cabbage.

MICHEL

Or with dense but subtle undertones of olives.

LORELAI

There's nothing subtle about it. It's like a sledgehammer to the nose.

SOOKIE

Oh, my god! What is that?

LORELAI

It's not coming from the kitchen?

SOOKIE

Bite your tongue. Are we having heart attacks right now? Isn't smelling something strange the first sign of a heart attack?

LORELAI

I don't think we're having a communal massive heart attack.

MICHEL

Carcasses.

LORELAI

What?

MICHEL

Those strange, angry-looking guests -- I'm sure they are traveling with decaying animal flesh.

LORELAI

Yeah, 'cause that's the most logical explanation. Gonna open a window, see if we can air it out a little bit. [opens the window] Gah! No, no, no!

SOOKIE

Close it! Close it! Close it!

LORELAI

Ugh!

MICHEL

So glad we tried that.

LORELAI

All right, I'm going out there to see what's causing this.

SOOKIE

Out there?!

MICHEL

Are you crazy?!

LORELAI

Maybe, but the sooner we can find out what's causing this, the sooner we can run like hell to less stinky ground.

SOOKIE

Well I'm coming with you!

MICHEL

Me too! Let's hang for a minute. If she makes it to the end of the block, we'll join her.

SOOKIE

Michel!

MICHEL

What? Fine. Ugh! [Coughs]

LORELAI

Kirk, where's everybody going?

KIRK

Taylor called an emergency town meeting. Not sure why.

SOOKIE

The smell, Kirk. The horrible, horrible smell.

KIRK

Really? [Sniffs] I just don't think it's that bad.

SOOKIE

Ugh. Well, come on, let's go.

LORELAI

No. You know what? On second thought, I'd rather smell this smell for the rest of my life than see Luke at a town meeting.

SOOKIE

Oh, honey.

LORELAI

It's okay. I'll go back to the inn. I'll be fine. Just call me when you want me to pick you up.

GYPSY

Finally!

MISS PATTY

It's about time, Taylor! We're dying here.

TAYLOR

I assure you, no one is dying. The substance causing this odor is not toxic in any way, shape, or form. It's pickles.

SOOKIE

That's no pickle!

KIRK

Pickle? Like one giant pickle?

TAYLOR

Order! As those of you who take an interest in civic events may recall, three days ago a train derailed just east of town -- luckily, no one was injured. However, 3 1/2 tons of pickles and pickle brine were scattered along the tracks. And due to some inevitable delays in cleanup, those pickles have been baking in the sun for three days.

MISS PATTY

And you knew about this?

GYPSY

It's a cover-up.

BABETTE

We got picklegate!

MISS PATTY

Ha ha ha!

TAYLOR

I did know about it, but it wasn't a problem until this morning when the wind shifted. And instead of wafting easterly toward our neighbors in Woodbridge, the smell seems to have settled on stars hollow. Now, there's no telling how long it will last.

GYPSY

What?! People are suffering here.

SOOKIE

How long does it take to pick up a few measly pickles?

TAYLOR

Picking up the pickles is not my main concern at the moment. Now, this is a matter of pride, people. A huge principle is at stake. There's absolutely no reason why we here in stars hollow should take responsibility for this mess. The pickles themselves hail from Ohio.

LUKE

Ohio?

TAYLOR

The railroad company is incorporated in the state of Delaware. And since all the pickles are on the Woodbridge side of the tracks...

LUKE

Just pick up the damn pickles, Taylor!

TAYLOR

Easier said than done. Even if we wanted to do the wrong thing and assume fiscal responsibility for this fiasco, the cost is astronomical. $2,500 for...

LUKE

Sold!

GYPSY

Done!

BABETTE

Pay, you big cheapskate!

TAYLOR

Fine! All those in favor of stars hollow taking a swift kick to the tush and shouldering the entire cost...

TAYLOR

Very well. Motion carried. Pickle smell gone in 48 hours... along with everything good about stars hollow.

LORELAI

Breathe that in. Isn't that fantastic? Forgot what fresh, pickleless air smells like.

CHRISTOPHER

Oh, so, you coming over to my neck of the woods for lunch is really no reflection on how desperately you needed to see me?

LORELAI

Hmm... 10% desperate need to see you, 90% pickles.

CHRISTOPHER

[Chuckles]

LORELAI

You know, I'm actually looking forward to Friday night dinner. Because, as you well know, the Gilmore house, like very expensive vodka, is completely odorless.

CHRISTOPHER

And you still want me to come with?

LORELAI

Yes, you, me, Rory, numbers, babe.

CHRISTOPHER

Gigi, No. Skirt down! Gigi!

LORELAI

You may want to look into the whole skort concept.

CHRISTOPHER

Hey, so, I spoke with Sherry this morning.

LORELAI

Oh, yeah. What's the deal with her?

CHRISTOPHER

Well, first she and Gigi Spoke for almost half an hour.

LORELAI

That's as long as you can do anything when you're 4.

CHRISTOPHER

And then she and I talked. I thanked her for the letter. She said everything in it was true. She's totally serious about this new life thing. No more workaholic ways. She's gardening and meditating, all kinds of stuff. She's very self-actualized -- her words, not mine.

LORELAI

Good for her.

CHRISTOPHER

And the big news is, she wants me to send Gigi To Paris to stay with her for a couple of months.

LORELAI

Wow.

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah wow, I mean, I know it seems kind of sudden, but Sherry's taken this huge leave of absence from work, and Gigi Got so excited. Why not, right? She's not in school, yet, just preschool, and she needs to get to know her mother sometime. [To Gigi] No, hey! Gigi, That's too high! Careful!

LORELAI

So, what -- would you go to Paris with her?

CHRISTOPHER

No, I was thinking the nanny could take her. She's dying to go. I mean, it's Paris, right? She's 25 years old. It's a chance of a lifetime.

LORELAI

Yeah, sure.

CHRISTOPHER

No, hey! Gigi, No, don't pick that up! I'll be right back.

LORELAI

[Sighs]

BILL

You can't put Paris in charge.

PARIS

She can and she should.

RORY

Guy's I just need someone to get the paper out tonight. Doesn't matter who. I want the chain of command to be clear.

BILL

When the editor in chief isn't here, the managing editor's in charge. That's standard operating procedure at every newspaper in the country.

PARIS

Yes, but I've done this 1,000 times, and you've never done it, bill. Experience.

BILL

Experience that led to a mutiny. It's not like anyone ever gave Captain Bligh another ship after the Bounty.

PARIS

Of course they did, multiple ships, and by the time he died, they promoted the guy to rear admiral. Do you think the British royal navy ruled the world in the 19th century by letting that much natural talent and leadership capability go to waste just because a few whiny complainers wanted more breadfruit and less scurvy?

BILL

[To Rory] Tell me you're not seriously considering this. The bunker. Do you not remember the bunker?

PARIS

I hardly see how my choice of workplace is relevant.

BILL

There was an insurrection, a revolt, an uprising. She was deposed.

PARIS

See how wordy he is? He overwrites. Plus, he's always been weak with gerunds.

RORY

[Sighs and then her cell phone rings] Sorry. Look, could you guys take this somewhere else?

BILL

Fine. Let's go to my desk.

PARIS

Your desk? Right, like I'm actually going to cede home-court advantage.

RORY

Oh, for god's sake.

RORY

[Answering the phone] Hey!

LOGAN

We did it, Ace! We bought the company!

RORY

What?

LOGAN

It's crazy we were just supposed to have breakfast. Next thing I know, we're sitting there with lawyers going over contracts.

RORY

Logan, that's amazing.

LOGAN

I know!

RORY

Was it all because of my breakfast-combo idea?

LOGAN

I'm pretty sure that's what sealed it. So will you come celebrate with me tonight?

RORY

I already cleared my schedule.

LOGAN

Great! I'll send a car. Tonight, you'll be dining with a captain of industry.

RORY

Wow, do you get to wear a uniform?

LOGAN

I'll have to check the fine print. Go home, get dressed. I'll see you soon.

RORY

Aye-aye, captain.

MICHEL

Cancel? Well, I would say that depends. What exactly is your feeling about pickles? Uh-huh, yes, pickles -- gherkins, dills. For instance, if all the air around you smelled like pickles and there was no place to run, no place to hide, would you find that bothersome?

LORELAI

Michel, help. Let me in. [The door is chained to keep the smell out]

MICHEL

[On the phone] No, that is not a metaphor. Yes perhaps it would be better if you checked in tomorrow night. Uh-huh. Goodbye.

LORELAI

Michel, it's getting in my pores! My pores are pickling!

MICHEL

[Coughs, as he lets her in, he has put on a mask]

LORELAI

Sorry, I didn't mean to get you out of surgery.

MICHEL

Oh, mock the mask if you wish.

LORELAI

Oh, I will.

MICHEL

[Coughs, closes the door and sprays around it.] One is never too careful with toxic pollutants in the air.

LORELAI

Michel, it's just pickles.

MICHEL

Oh, so they say! Has anyone ever seen these pickles? Who's to say this is not some sort of chemical weapon the government is testing on us behind our backs?

LORELAI

That's a cheery thought.

MICHEL

I have much scarier scenarios if you want to hear them.

LORELAI

Yeah, maybe later.

LORELAI

Hey. Wow, the smell is amazingly not terrible in here. What'd you do?

SOOKIE

Well, after the town meeting, I decided to make some baked apples with cinnamon and nutmeg.

LORELAI

This is apples and cinnamon?

SOOKIE

Mnh-mnh. The apples failed me. I mean, a terrifically famous smell, right? A powerful tool in the hands of a real-estate agent. Against the pickles -- powerless.

LORELAI

What is it? It makes me happy.

SOOKIE

The apples failed. I tried cheeses and breads and chocolates. But nothing could mask the power of the pickles.

LORELAI

You know I think my sense of smell is ruined. The insides of my nose are burned out.

SOOKIE

Then, I decided if you can't beat them, join them. Embrace the pickle!

LORELAI

Milton Berle it smells like?

SOOKIE

Milton Berle, are you saying my kitchen smells like Milton Berle?

LORELAI

Milton Berle, "Broadway Danny Rose," Carnegie deli.

SOOKIE

Pastrami.

LORELAI

Pastrami!

SOOKIE

You want a sandwich? I'll make you a sandwich.

LORELAI

No, thanks.

SOOKIE

You sure? I've got pumpernickel. I've got rye. I've got this really nice mustard. I've even got dr. Brown's cel-ray soda in the fridge.

LORELAI

Nah, I filled up on lunchables in the park with Chris and Gigi

SOOKIE

Oh, yeah?

LORELAI

Yeah.

SOOKIE

Lunchables, huh?

LORELAI

Don't judge what you do not understand.

SOOKIE

So, Friday afternoon in the park with Christopher, huh?

LORELAI

Yeah, you know I will have one. Soda that tastes like vegetables -- who would have thunk it? Hey, uh, this kind of weird thing happened today.

SOOKIE

Oh yeah.

LORELAI

So, apparently Sherry is trying to get back in touch with Christopher.

SOOKIE

Sherry "ex-wife" Sherry?

LORELAI

Mm-hmm.

SOOKIE

Sherry "abandoned her baby to go live the life of a bon vivant" Sherry?

LORELAI

The very one. She wrote him a letter -- "mea culpa, mea culpa." She's learned the error of her ways. She wants to get back in touch with Gigi.

SOOKIE

Translation -- she wants to get back with Christopher.

LORELAI

No, I don't think so. She's dating someone. She's doing downward dog with some French yoga instructor.

SOOKIE

Sherry "mani/pedi twice a week" Sherry is doing yoga?

LORELAI

Allegedly. Who knows? But then Chris went on about sending Gigi To Paris with this 20-year-old nanny so that Gigi Can reconnect with her mom.

SOOKIE

And you told him that's insane.

LORELAI

No.

SOOKIE

What? Why not?

LORELAI

I don't know. Not saying what I think is not what I'm known for. If you know what I mean.

SOOKIE

No, no, I don't it's not what you're known for. It's what you're not known for. I mean, it's not what your not... you're usually quite frank.

LORELAI

I know.

SOOKIE

It sounds like you're not quite comfortable talking to Christopher.

LORELAI

That's the thing. I am.

SOOKIE

Well, then why didn't you?

LORELAI

Because in my head, I wasn't talking to Christopher. I mean in the park I was talking to Christopher but in my head, I was talking to Luke.

SOOKIE

Oh, honey, of course you were.

LORELAI

No, I-I don't mean it like I missed him. I mean it like Luke is the one who didn't want me getting involved in his kid's life, not Chris. Chris is open to what I think. Chris is open to me. [Scoffs] Christopher is not Luke.

SOOKIE

Nope, Christopher is not Luke.

LORELAI

Why aren't all nutritious things in soda form?

SOOKIE

That's a good question.

LORELAI

I swear I would eat my vegetables if only they were fizzy. [cell phone rings] Yay, Rory! Hello?

RORY

Hey, what's going on?

LORELAI

Uh, well Stars Hollow smells like pickles.

RORY

Pickles?

LORELAI

Pickles.

RORY

Pickles pickles?

LORELAI

Pickles.

RORY

Why?

LORELAI

Because a pickle train crashed.

RORY

Is this a joke, is this a long, boring joke that I'm not going to get?

LORELAI

No it's no joke the town smells like pickles because a pickle train was derailed.

RORY

A train full of pickles? Who knew there was such a thing?

LORELAI

Well, pickle-train conductors, for one. Sounds so fun. I would've been the greatest pickle-train conductor. Can you see me -- "all aboard, you pickles!"

RORY

Hmm. Clearly you missed your calling.

LORELAI

Well, luckily there's you. You're young, you're clever, you're our great pickle-train conducting hope.

RORY

I can't believe I'm missing this.

LORELAI

Well you can celebrate next year on the anniversary. Now what's going on with you?

RORY

Well, I can't make it to Friday night dinner tonight, but I have a very good excuse.

LORELAI

Pickle-train conducting seminar?

RORY

Logan's in town.

LORELAI

[Gasps] No way!

RORY

Yeah, he showed up last night. It was a total surprise.

LORELAI

I can't believe you let me go on about pickle-train conducting when you had actual news.

RORY

You had news. Stars hollow smells like pickles. I can completely see that scrolling along the CNN crawl.

LORELAI

Logan in town is totally pre-pickle news. How long is he here for?

RORY

6 1/2 more hours. He flew in yesterday, bought a company, and he's flying back out tonight.

LORELAI

Oh my God, what are you guys gonna do with your precious remaining hours? Or don't I want to know?

RORY

Mom!

LORELAI

Well, because you might be farming rutabagas or something, and I wouldn't want to know 'cause -- boring.

RORY

Well, tonight I'm meeting him in Manhattan to celebrate.

LORELAI

Fancy restaurant?

RORY

Rutabaga farm, actually. Oh, but I'm sorry about dinner. I did not mean to abandon you in your time of need.

LORELAI

No worries I'm not gonna be defenseless. I'm bringing your dad.

RORY

Really? Wow!

LORELAI

Yeah, thought it was time he meet the parents.

RORY

Okay, that is pre-pickle news, my friend.

LORELAI

Oh, this conversation's been a disaster, hasn't it?

RORY

Yes, it has.

LORELAI

All right. Bring-bring. Hi, Rory. How are you?

RORY

Hi, mom. Logan's in town.

LORELAI

Oh, my goodness. That's wonderful.

RORY

We're farming rutabagas.

LORELAI

Oh, you're a filthy child. I will disown you. Bringing your father to dinner. Pickles, pickles, pickles, smell, pickle-train conducting.

RORY

Alas, alack.

LORELAI

Good talk.

RORY

The best.

LORELAI

Bye.

MAITRE D'

Good evening, I'll take that.

RORY

[handing over a wrap] Thank you. Um, I'm just meeting someone. Ahoy, my captain of industry!

LOGAN

Ace!

RORY

Hey, where is your uniform? I was expecting the whole works -- a spiffy hat, shiny shoes, epaulets with scrambled eggs on them.

LOGAN

Scrambled eggs on my clothes? What you must think of me. You look gorgeous.

RORY

Thanks.

LOGAN

Though I was hoping you'd wear a nice little saiLor's middy. You look so cute in a middy.

RORY

Oh, I'd love to wear a middy. And a little sailor hat, like the stay puft marshmallow man.

LOGAN

Because who doesn't want to date a giant humanoid marshmallow?

RORY

I'm so proud of you.

LORELAI

Mmm. Come on. Our table's over here.

RORY

Okay.

LOGAN

Everybody, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Rory.

NICK

Such a pleasure, Rory. I'm Nick.

RORY

Hi

LOGAN

And this is Phillip.

PHILLIP

Nice to meet you.

RORY

You too.

BOBBI

And I'm Bobbi. So, so glad you could join us.

RORY

[taken back by the beautiful blond] Bobbi, um... yeah, me too. I'm so glad I could make it. How are you?

BOBBI

I'm brilliant, actually. We had quite a day. Shall we order another bottle of champers, boys?

LOGAN

Absolutely.

BOBBI

Good. I'm parched. [to Rory] Do you drink?

RORY

What? Um, yeah, sure.

LOGAN

Here. Sit, sit.

PHILLIP

Food let's please get food. I haven't eaten since the waffles.

NICK

Good god did you eat those?

PHILLIP

It would have been rude not to.

NICK

You eat anything. You astound me.

LOGAN

You're like a human garbage disposal.

BOBBI

It's appalling, Phillip. Really it is. You now what you should do, you should go on one of those, um, American reality TV series and showcase your talents.

LOGAN

There are these huge waffles at the breakfast this morning.

RORY

And Phillip ate them. I'm catching on.

NICK

Logan I know we're celebrating, but I'm concerned about our budget for this project. From a strictly economical perspective do we really want to blow everything on feeding Phillip tonight?

LOGAN

Somebody's got to crunch the numbers.

PHILLIP

It's true. The numbers do not crunch themselves. Ergo, the number cruncher must be fed.

BOBBI

So, Rory, I've heard so much about you!

RORY

[flustered] Oh, yeah?

BOBBI

Logan has talked my ear off about you.

RORY

Oh, yeah, yeah. Me too. He's talked my ear off about you and all of you. All of you, I mean, I'm practically Van Gogh from my earlessness.

BOBBI

Did we order champagne? Logan, your girlfriend must be parched.

LOGAN

Oh, excuse me, miss. I think we'd like another bottle, over here please.

PHILLIP

Oh, and bring another bread plate.

BOBBI

[Gasps, scoffs] You're amazing.

NICK

Ridiculous.

PHILLIP

I'm hungry.

LORELAI

oh, no. You know my rule about hair bands.

CHRISTOPHER

My car, my tunes.

LORELAI

Really? You're gonna say, "tunes"?

CHRISTOPHER

You got a lot of rules, lady.

LORELAI

Not a lot. It's just no saying "killer," no saying "whack," no saying "rockin'" or "pimping" or "slamming," capisce?

CHRISTOPHER

Fo' shizzle.

LORELAI

There's got to be an eject button here somewhere.

CHRISTOPHER

How's this for an idea -- weekend away, the two of us?

LORELAI

[Gasps] That's great for an idea. Ooh! Ooh! I know the perfect place.

CHRISTOPHER

Don't say "Dollywood." Please don't, don't say "Dollywood."

LORELAI

The ice hotel.

CHRISTOPHER

The what?

LORELAI

The ice hotel. It's amazing. I read about it in the travel section. It's a hotel totally made of ice. The roof is ice. The floors are ice. The chairs are ice. Chandeliers are ice.

CHRISTOPHER

I think I'm beginning to get the picture. Wouldn't it be amazing if you went down the hall and the ice machine was empty?

LORELAI

It is amazing.

CHRISTOPHER

Amazingly cold.

LORELAI

No. You get to wear parkas and fur hats.

CHRISTOPHER

"Get to"?

LORELAI

And you sleep under reindeer skins. You eat reindeer meat.

CHRISTOPHER

Again, "get to"?

LORELAI

You drink Vodka. That's a good "get to."

CHRISTOPHER

Hey, how's this for an idea? We can drink vodka in Bermuda.

LORELAI

[Chuckles] The ice hotel in Bermuda would totally melt.

CHRISTOPHER

We'll do two weekends away. First the ice hotel. Then once we've been treated for frostbite and had our stomachs pumped of reindeer meat, we'll go defrost on a beach somewhere. I mean, we've got the time. Gigi's gonna be in Paris for a couple of months.

LORELAI

[Sighs]

CHRISTOPHER

What? You're not down with the whole beach thing?

LORELAI

No, it's... more the whole Paris thing.

CHRISTOPHER

Yes?

LORELAI

I-I'm just... I'm not sure it's such a good idea that Gigi Goes to Paris.

CHRISTOPHER

Meaning?

LORELAI

Well, she's only 4 years old. She barely even knows Sherry.

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah, but Sherry's her mother.

LORELAI

A mother she hasn't seen in two years.

CHRISTOPHER

Look, Sherry's doing really well. You read her letter. And I think I've been doing a really good job with Gigi

LORELAI

Oh, honey. Amazing.

CHRISTOPHER

But it's hard, you know? I-it's -- it's really hard, and Gigi needs her mom. And if I can help bring them both back together, I-I-I want to do that. I have to do that.

LORELAI

I know, I get that. I just -- I think maybe you should put a little more thought into it, you know, before you send a toddler on an airplane with an 18-year-old nanny who's totally psyched to go to France.

CHRISTOPHER

The nanny's 25.

LORELAI

Oh, oh, okay, then.

CHRISTOPHER

Like the nanny's really your problem here.

LORELAI

Well, I mean, it's not an un-problem, you know? I think you should just consider it more carefully or maybe go yourself.

CHRISTOPHER

Look, I read her letter --

LORELAI

oh, my god! Enough! Enough with the letter already.

CHRISTOPHER

I get it.

LORELAI

What do you get?

CHRISTOPHER

This is about you being threatened by Sherry.

LORELAI

Oh, no. Give me a break.

CHRISTOPHER

You never liked her.

LORELAI

No, I didn't, but I don't like the new mailman either. Doesn't mean I'm threatened by him. This is about me thinking I could speak openly and honestly about my concerns without getting freaked out on.

CHRISTOPHER

Nice. Real nice.

LORELAI

Honey, what is going on with you?

CHRISTOPHER

What's going on with you, Lor?

LORELAI

Look, can we drop this, please, and try and have a nice evening?

CHRISTOPHER

It's dropped.

EMILY

Well, hello, hello! Richard, they're here. Don't you two look marvelous? Well, don't just stand there. Come in, come in.

LOGAN

It was the way he kept saying "intellectual property." Each time he said it I could feel the whole deal just slipping through our fingers.

PHILLIP

He was like, "intellectual property, intellectual property."

LOGAN

"Which is like my property, my property, my property."

BOBBI

"I invented it, I invented it."

NICK

"We won't sell, We won't sell."

LOGAN

"And it's slipping, slipping."

PHILLIP

I'm looking at Nick trying to convey through subtle dilations of my pupils that we simply cannot offer any more money.

NICK

And I'm looking at Phillip who's looking at me like, like he's hopped up on some sort of methamphetamine.

LOGAN

Slipping, slipping, and it looks like we lost him, and then Bobbi.

PHILLIP

Bobbi makes a bold choice.

NICK

What does she do?

LOGAN

She just stands up.

NICK

She does.

PHILLIP

She just stands up!

RORY

Wow.

LOGAN

She stands up like she can't take it anymore, and she says, "meeting's over, boys."

RORY

That must have been crazy.

NICK

It was amazing. I'm sitting here, and she's here, and she stands up. And I look over, and all I see is legs, legs, legs and this look on her face like "ohh, no." It was brilliant Do it, Bobbi. Stand up.

BOBBI

Knock it off.

LOGAN

Come on, Bobbi. [to Rory] You got to see this.

PHILLIP

But we insist.

NICK

Please?

BOBBI

Fine. But just to shut you lot up. I suppose it was something like, um... [gets up]... meeting's over, boys.

NICK

Whoo!

LOGAN

Whoo! Well done! Amazing Hu!

NICK

We need another bottle!

PHILLIP

And dessert. Don't we need a little sweet or something?

BOBBI

So, Rory, we've barely had the opportunity to speak all night.

RORY

I know.

BOBBI

How's school? What's your major?

RORY

English.

BOBBI

Oh, god, how fantastic. I swear when I was at oxford, I did nothing but read literature. It was such a luxury.

RORY

That's one way to look at it.

BOBBI

Oh, I long for those days. Just reading books, thinking.

RORY

I do like thinking.

BOBBI

Enjoy it while it lasts. Before you know it, you'll be out in the real world, with the rest of us poor sods.

RORY

Seems like you manage to have some fun.

BOBBI

Well Logan is a big part of that. He is such a laugh.

RORY

He's actually a lot more serious than you might think. It probably takes a long time to get to know that side of him, the serious side.

BOBBI

Oh, you two are so adorable.

RORY

Thanks.

PHILLIP

Hey, not so fast! We're still working on getting the next round. Another sloe gin fizz, please. Oh, and don't get too excited, fellas. I'm just going to the loo.

LOGAN

Yes! That's it!

NICK

Amazing! Magnificent!

PHILLIP

We fold, we fold. Thank you, thank you very much. And feel free to say all sorts of cheeky things about me while I'm gone.

LOGAN

Isn't she a riot?

RORY

Hilarious.

RICHARD

Well, naturally I thought they were referring to the archduke. So I jumped in, as who wouldn't? With some thoughts about the various conspiracy theories surrounding his infamous assassination in Sarajevo. Imagine my surprise when I learned that Franz Ferdinand was the name of a very popular rock-'n'-roll band.

EMILY

[Laughs] That's what he gets for trying to fraternize after class with his students.

RICHARD

One of them even offered to burn a CD for me. [Chuckles]

EMILY

So, tell me. How are the salads?

LORELAI

Good, mom.

CHRISTOPHER

I like the pear.

EMILY

Do you?

CHRISTOPHER

Umm.

EMILY

I'm so glad.

RICHARD

Tastes very fresh.

EMILY

Well, pears this time of year can dress up any salad. Oh, Richard, did you tell them about midterms? Lorelei, did your father mention midterms?

LORELAI

No, he didn't. How were midterms, dad?

RICHARD

Well as you know, midterms separate the wheat from the chaff. Although I don't actually have to grade any of their papers or tests. They have these marvelous teaching assistants that handle all that sort of things for you.

EMILY

Thank you, Hildegard. Christopher, I hope you like lamb. When I found out you were coming I decided we had to serve something special. And to me, special means lamb. Oh, it just makes me so happy to see the two of you sitting here together. It's so much fun.

CHRISTOPHER

It's very nice to be here.

EMILY

Tennis!

RICHARD

Emily?

EMILY

That's one of the things we can do together as a foursome, now that Lorelei and Christopher are an item.

RICHARD

That's right. We do need new people for doubles.

EMILY

We've been playing with that awful Bunny Ferguson and her husband, whatever his name is.

RICHARD

They are dreadful.

EMILY

The way Bunny Ferguson grunts -- oh! I mean, it's one thing if you're Maria Sharapova and you're 120 pounds and a 7-foot blond teenager. But if you're 5'3"...

RICHARD

And 53...

EMILY

and wearing plaid -- did you see that skirt she wore the last time we played them?

RICHARD

I can only think that it was designed to cause some sort of optic misfunction.

EMILY

So then you'll play with us? Lorelei?

LORELAI

Hmm? Yes, fine, great.

EMILY

It's a date. How does the Saturday after next work for everyone?

LORELAI

Sure.

EMILY

Ah, here's the lamb. You do like lamb Christopher? I'm afraid I never let you answer.

CHRISTOPHER

I do, the funny thing is, I never did when I was a kid, but I do now. I guess I've changed. People do that sometimes.

LORELAI

[Scoffs]

EMILY

That's so true. What a clever observation. It's like you and radishes.

RICHARD

Exactly.

EMILY

Your father used to hate radishes, thought they were discussing.

RICHARD

Well, they are roots. It's a little unappealing.

EMILY

And then one summer in aspen, he fell off a horse, and suddenly he loved radishes. That whole summer, he was radish-crazy.

RICHARD

It's true. I do like radishes to this day.

LORELAI

That's funny.

EMILY

Isn't it?

LORELAI

Yes. I don't like radishes. I guess it's because I find them threatening.

EMILY

What a peculiar thing to say.

LORELAI

Well radishes are a peculiar topic.

RICHARD

All right. Since this is a special occasion of sorts, I should like to propose a toast. To many more nights like this, and to Lorelei and Christopher. Who knew 20-some-odd years ago that we would be making dates to play doubles tennis?

EMILY

And bridge. You absolutely have to join us for bridge.

RICHARD

You two have come a long way since your days of rebellious youth, shall we say?

EMILY

Derelicts. The word is derelicts.

RICHARD

Emily! To Lorelei and Christopher.

EMILY

They were derelicts. It's true. Remember when they stole that bottle of wine you'd been saving for 15 years?

RICHARD

Well, 10 years. It was a '75 Margot.

EMILY

And they had no idea how to use a corkscrew, so they just cracked the top off with a brick and slurped what they could off the patio.

RICHARD

And look at them now. All grown up and drinking very nicely out of glasses.

LORELAI

[To Chris] I need to see you in the bathroom.

CHRISTOPHER

Fine. Excuse me.

CHRISTOPHER

[Sighs] Uh, would you mind telling me what the hell...

LORELAI

you're not Sherry.

CHRISTOPHER

Excuse me?

LORELAI

You've changed, Chris.

CHRISTOPHER

What are you talking about?

LORELAI

Maybe we were derelicts back then. But we were 16. We were just kids. You were just a kid.

CHRISTOPHER

So?

LORELAI

So, you leaving Rory when you were 16 is not at all the same as Sherry, a grown woman, packing up and living Gigi So I get why you we upset with me. Because when I'm criticizing Sherry, you feel like I'm criticizing you. But I'm -- I wasn't. I'm not. You've changed. You're not 16. You're not a kid. You're not Sherry. I get it.

CHRISTOPHER

Wow, you get it. That's great, Lor. Thanks for telling me how I feel.

LOGAN

You tired?

RORY

I'm good.

LOGAN

I could always have the car come pick us up at the corner.

RORY

I'm fine.

LOGAN

Hey, I know. I could carry you.

RORY

Carry me?

LOGAN

Yeah, piggyback, fireman's carry, in both arms -- your choice.

RORY

No. [Chuckles] I'm really fine.

LOGAN

Wow, okay. So, I guess something's really wrong.

RORY

Just because I don't want to be fireman carried doesn't mean that something is wrong.

LOGAN

But something is wrong.

RORY

No, it's just...

LOGAN

Just?

RORY

This isn't exactly what I expected tonight. I was just a little confused, I guess. You called. You were so excited. You said, "celebrate." I thought it was gonna be just us.

LOGAN

Last night was just us.

RORY

I know, and it was also perfect and romantic. And the more I talk about it, the more I feel stupid for even bringing this up.

LOGAN

Look, I'm sorry I wasn't clear on the phone. I'm sorry that you didn't have a good time tonight.

RORY

Well, no, it's not that. I mean, I get it. The guys are great. Okay. But, technically Bobbi, well, she's not exactly a guy.

LOGAN

Yeah, you got me there.

RORY

And until about three hours ago, I thought that she was a guy. You know why? Because you never use personal pronouns -- "she," "her." I mean, would that have been so unbelievably difficult to fit into a conversation? I don't know about you, but most of the Bobby's I know are guys -- Bobby Kennedy, Bobby Brady, Bobby Knight, Bobby Brown. You're smiling at me. Why are smiling at me?

LOGAN

Because you are very cute when you're jealous.

RORY

I'm not jealous.

LOGAN

Rory.

RORY

Oh, and it's not just that. I mean, it was everything. It was not feeling like I was included. I mean, no one all night asked me anything about me.

LOGAN

Bobbi asked you about you.

RORY

Yeah, and how condescending was she? [Imitating Bobbi] "It's such a luxury to read literature." And did you hear what she called us? "Adorable." She called us an adorable couple.

LOGAN

Wait, she said that out loud?

RORY

Yes, adorable.

LOGAN

Wow, you want me to go back there and kick her ass?

RORY

"Adorable" is what you say about a "full house" rerun. It's not what you say about something that lasts. The great wall of china, the pyramids -- no one ever called them "adorable." And excuse me, but how many times does a girl need to stand up at dinner? Yes, you have legs. We get it. "Oh, no, I'm not leaving. I'm just going to the loo." Here's a tip. You're in America now. Speak English.

LOGAN

Okay so just to clarify, in the future, you would prefer I work only with girls who have no legs.

RORY

You're not taking me seriously.

LOGAN

Because you're not being serious. Bobbi is my colleague. She's great at what she does. She's smart. She's talented. Nick has great legs, too. Maybe before you rush to judgment, you should check his out.

RORY

Great so now I'm not just an idiot, I'm an anti-feminist idiot, an anti-feminist who's standing here in the street arguing about things I don't really want to be arguing about.

LOGAN

You don't?

RORY

No. Do you think I like feeling this way? I mean, I haven't seen you for months and months, and now you're in town for what? 26 hours? And in that time, I can't just get happy and act like a fruit fly?

LOGAN

Mayfly.

RORY

I can't just live in the moment and enjoy the 26 great hours ahead of me? I have to be sulky and miserable while all the other fruit flies share private jokes with my boyfriend? You think I like this about myself? Wrong. I hate myself for being this way. I hate Bobbi for her professionally tweezed eyebrows and her oh-so-incredible ability to stand up at a moment's notice. And most of all, I hate the fact that in a few seconds you'll be in that car leaving me again.

LOGAN

That is a hell of a long way to go just to say, "I miss you."

RORY

Any thoughts in response?

LOGAN

I miss you, too, Ace.

RORY

Five words. You only used five words.

LOGAN

Yeah, well, I'm not done yet.

EMILY

Of course, this time of year, so many people start playing that awful winter tennis with the chicken-wire cages and the heated courts.

RICHARD

Platform tennis can be very enjoyable, Emily.

EMILY

Yes, but it looks ridiculous, like glorified ping-pong. If I wanted to play ping-pong, I would -- well, if I wanted to play ping-pong, I would kill myself.

RICHARD

Well, I hope you're still good with a racket, Christopher. Lorelei was always hopeless. As a child, we took her to an ophthalmologist to test her depth perception. He could find no rational reason for it.

CHRISTOPHER

[Ignoring Richard and speaking to Lorelai.] I know I'm not Sherry.

EMILY

I'm sorry. Did he serve you Sherry? Richard there has been some mistake, Christopher's drink was supposed to be port.

CHRISTOPHER

[To Lorelai] Come to Paris with me.

LORELAI

What?

CHRISTOPHER

You were right. I should take Gigi myself, check everything out.

EMILY

Check what out?

RICHARD

Paris. I think they want to check out Paris.

CHRISTOPHER

Come on. You can't say "no." I mean, you can, but don't, and maybe there's even a Parisian ice hotel we can stay in.

LORELAI

Yes. I mean, no, there is no ice hotel. But I'll stay in one made of stone or bricks or whatever Paris hotels are made of.

CHRISTOPHER

We can blast the air-conditioning and drink all the vodka you want.

EMILY

What on earth...

LORELAI

Tat sounds great.

EMILY

What happened when you went to the powder room? One minute, we're sitting here having dessert. And the next, you're talking about Paris.

LORELAI

Well, Chris and I are going to Paris.

CHRISTOPHER

In just a couple of weeks, actually. I'm so sorry Emily we're gonna have to take a rain check on that tennis date.

LORELAI

Yeah, till the 12th of never 'cause we wouldn't play tennis or golf or bridge or any game that could be played in a foursome -- except hangman and sometimes Pictionary.

EMILY

What has gotten into you? You were being so pleasant.

LORELAI

Mmm, what is this? This looks good.

EMILY

"What is it"? I told you 20 minutes ago. It's Rhubarb pie.

LORELAI

Hmm. Is it still Rhubarb pie?

EMILY

I swear I was having the most wonderful time.

LORELAI

Is Rhubarb a root, dad?

RICHARD

No.

RORY

Hi, everyone.

LORELAI

Honey!

RORY

Hello.

CHRISTOPHER

Hey.

RORY

Am I late?

EMILY

Of course not, Rory.

LORELAI

You're just in time for Rooty Rhubarb pie, and for the viewing of mom's mug shot.

EMILY

Rory, stop her.

RORY

I'm sure you look very nice, grandma.

CHRISTOPHER

You are very photogenic, Emily.

LORELAI

Ooh! What am I saying? I have pictures on my phone. Gather 'round the phone, everybody.

EMILY

Richard, what are you doing? Oh, nothing. Nothing. Oh! [Chuckles] These new phones are amazing.

RORY

Are those handcuffs? Grandma, are you wearing handcuffs?

EMILY

I certainly was not.

CHRISTOPHER

No they gave her one of those ankle things with like a chain and cannonball on the end.

EMILY

Christopher!

LORELAI

Oh and the stripy outfit, tell Rory how they made you wear the stripy outfit, mom.

RICHARD

Oh!

LORELAI

No.

RORY

No.

LORELAI & RORY

No!

CHRISTOPHER

[Chuckles]

LORELAI & RORY

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

LORELAI

Stop there!