T7E8: “Introducing Lorelai Planetarium”

LORELAI

It's me and you father, we're home. I don't know if you forgot, but we've been in Paris, and we flew across oceans and oceans just to see you again. And, so, we would really like to see you again -- today, tonight, A.S.A.P., Okay? So please call me, call me back. S.T.A.S.A.P -- sooner than as soon as possible. Okay, honey, call me. Call me. Call me. Call. Okay. Bye.

CHRISTOPHER

Okay, that was your last one. I'm cutting you off. She will call you when she wakes up.

LORELAI

[groans]

CHRISTOPHER

Now sit.

LORELAI

[Sighs]

CHRISTOPHER

I need an open mind. Are you giving me an open mind?

LORELAI

Okay, it's open.

CHRISTOPHER

Wide open?

LORELAI

Yeah, blue skies, green grass, vistas as far as the eye can see.

CHRISTOPHER

Good, because I want you to picture, on this wall, a waterfall.

LORELAI

Huh?

CHRISTOPHER

You know like one of those wall waterfalls -- they're really soothing.

LORELAI

Slam.

CHRISTOPHER

What.

LORELAI

The sound of my mind closing.

CHRISTOPHER

Come on we could get a Barcalounger right here and just lean back and listen – it would be like living in Hawaii.

LORELAI

Are you serious -- a Barcalounger?

CHRISTOPHER

Soft leather, adjustable footrest. You know what else would be awesome?

LORELAI

Not having a Barcalounger?

CHRISTOPHER

Flat-screen TV here -- high def, day and night. And you know what else might work? One of those electronic fish -- what do they call it? -- The Big-mouth Billy Bass fish. You know what they are right. When somebody walks by, they flap their mouths and sing songs like "don't worry, be happy" and "take me to the river."

LORELAI

You're kidding.

CHRISTOPHER

I'm totally kidding, except for the flat-screen. We need a flat screen.

LORELAI

No! I'd rather have the Big-mouth Billy Bass fish.

CHRISTOPHER

What's wrong?

LORELAI

It's so "meet George Jetson, his boy, Elroy" -- Leroy?

CHRISTOPHER

Elroy -- and it's not. Look, I'm all for small-town charm. I'm happy to move here, sit out on the front porch, and give the mailman a real chipper "howdy-do."

LORELAI

Don't you dare.

CHRISTOPHER

But there's a line. I'm not gonna cobble my own shoes, churn butter, or watch a TV from 1976.

LORELAI

What? This baby has a remote that has 19 buttons on it.

CHRISTOPHER

You do have running water, don't you?

LORELAI

Hardy har har.

CHRISTOPHER

Oh, you can say "hardy har har," but I can't say "howdy-do"?

LORELAI

Life's not fair.

CHRISTOPHER

What's your problem with a giant flat-screen? I mean you love TV.

LORELAI

Yeah but just because I love something doesn't mean I want it to be giant. I love grapes, you know, but I don't want to sit down and eat one humongous gr-- no, that would be fun. [Phone rings] Hello?

RORY

Hey. Welcome home.

LORELAI

Finally! I have been calling and calling.

RORY

Yes, I know, since 5:00 A.M.

LORELAI

Well, that's noon Parisian time.

RORY

Well then you should call your Parisian daughter because your American one was asleep.

CHRISTOPHER

Hi, honey.

LORELAI

Your dad says hi.

RORY

High dad how was the trip?

LORELAI

Um tonight, I'll tell you everything when you come for dinner tonight.

RORY

I can't come tonight.

LORELAI

What you have to.

RORY

I have a study group. My major English quotes professor's trying to kill me.

LORELAI

Well, all the more reason to stay away from him. Seriously, he sounds dangerous.

RORY

I'll come over the weekend.

LORELAI

No, Rory, it has to be tonight.

RORY

Why?

LORELAI

Uh... s-snails.

RORY

Snails?

LORELAI

W-we -- your dad and I brought back snails.

RORY

Like for eating?

LORELAI

Yes, and if we don't cook them tonight, they'll go bad.

RORY

Mom.

LORELAI

Well, it's true. It has to be tonight. Please.

RORY

Fine. I'll be there.

LORELAI

Good!

RORY

I'm going back to bed.

LORELAI

Oh what at 1:00 in the afternoon? Lazy girl. My Parisian daughter's such a go-getter. She's been up and around for hours.

RORY

See you tonight.

LORELAI

All right, she's coming.

CHRISTOPHER

Snails?

LORELAI

Well, I just -- as long as she's coming.

CHRISTOPHER

So you said snails?

LORELAI

Well I had to say something.

CHRISTOPHER

Well, at least we have a plan now. We'll sit her down in the kitchen, feed her snails, and tell her we got married. [Chuckles]

LORELAI

Oh, my god. [Sighs] I just hate that she doesn't know.

CHRISTOPHER

Well she's gonna know tonight when we tell her.

LORELAI

Yeah.

CHRISTOPHER

Lor?

LORELAI

Yeah.

CHRISTOPHER

She's gonna be happy...

LORELAI

[Chuckles]

CHRISTOPHER

Her parents just got married. It's the dream.

LORELAI

Yeah. Maybe I should tell her by myself.

CHRISTOPHER

Together -- we agreed. We're gonna tell her together.

LORELAI

Yeah No, you're right, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm just so used to it just being me and her. I'll feel better when she knows.

CHRISTOPHER

Well, she'll know tonight when we tell her...

LORELAI

Yeah.

CHRISTOPHER

With snails.

LORELAI

[Chuckles] Now we have to get snails.

CHRISTOPHER

We'll find snails.

LORELAI

Where do you get snails.

CHRISTOPHER

Maybe Doose's has snails.

LORELAI

Doose's doesn't have snails.

CHRISTOPHER

Well, then, we'll go to a snail store -- emporium. We'll find snails.

LORELAI

And a recipe.

CHRISTOPHER

They will have a recipe at the snail emporium.

LORELAI

Really?

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah.

LORELAI

All right.

LOGAN

So you really liked the chamber music?

RORY

The part I was awake for, anyway. And then, after that, we went to see a basketball game.

LOGAN

Slightly less obscure.

RORY

Yeah right, a lot of people seem to be into the sports thing. And I can see why -- the fast pace, the school spirit.

LOGAN

You liked it?

RORY

Again, the part I was awake for.

LOGAN

Wow, a real basketball fan, huh?

RORY

Ah! Oh, my god!

LOGAN

[Chuckles]

RORY

What is wrong with you!

LOGAN

You're not happy to see me.

RORY

Well, of course I am, but why do you insist on scaring me half to death every time you're in town?

LOGAN

Well besides the fact that it's really fun -- well, actually, that's it. It's just really fun.

RORY

Oh man just once, you could call me and tell me you're coming home, like a normal person. Normal's boring. Normal's overrated. Normal's not why you love me.

RORY

So, what's going on? Why are you here?

LOGAN

You know that space we've been trying to book for our launch party?

RORY

The orchid room.

LOGAN

Yeah, the problem is, it's booked till like 2008, or it was until Nadine Maybrooke broke up with Jamie Erman, thus canceling their engagement party and freeing the space up tonight.

RORY

Poor Nadine and Jamie.

LOGAN

Hey, I invited them. The more the merrier, it's gonna be hugh.

RORY

So, you're having your launch party tonight.

LOGAN

Well, actually, it's our prelaunch launch party. Our launch party will take more than 48 hours to plan. It starts at 9:00. You can be there, right?

RORY

Oh yeah I'm having dinner with my parents, but I can stop by right after.

LORELAI

When did they get back from France?

RORY

Last night. I would just skip it, but my mom really wants to see me and, apparently, make me snails.

LOGAN

Okay. Well, then, I guess I'll see you post-snails. It should be a pretty good time. We've got a huge guest list. Bobbi's pulled out all the stops. She's she's contracted five of the hottest P.R. Agents in the city and has them hunkered in a war room. I'd be surprised if she lets them take bathroom breaks.

RORY

hum you can't stop Bobbi.

LOGAN

Ace.

RORY

What, no, I like Bobbi. I do. I don't like the fact that she's not a big, swarthy dude. But I recognize that my issues with Bobbi have nothing to do with her. She's lovely, she's you colleague It doesn't matter that her legs come up to my nose.

LOGAN

"A big, swarthy dude"?

RORY

With a cheesy goatee.

LOGAN

Well, maybe she'll agree to the goatee. And, hey, you want to come with me tomorrow and check out apartments?

RORY

Apartment, like, to live in?

LOGAN

I know it is cliché, but, yes, I intend to live in my apartment.

RORY

In Manhattan?

LOGAN

Unless I strike you as a Staten island kind of guy.

RORY

You're moving to New York...

LORELAI

Pretty much.

RORY

Which is an hour away?

LOGAN

Actually an hour and 20 minutes.

RORY

That's so much closer than London!

LOGAN

You've been brushing up on your geography hu?

RORY

No I just can't believe it. I mean, it's huge. It's amazing. I...

LOGAN

Are you happy?

RORY

I'm so happy!

LOGAN

Come on. Let's get something to drink.

RORY

But why do you have to get your own apartment, why can't you just live here with me?

LOGAN

I'd love to, ace, but I think I'd end up seeing more of the I-95 than I would of you. I mean my hours are gonna be crazy. If I live near the office, I can crawl home at 3:00 in the morning and crawl back to work at 7:00.

RORY

That's a lot of crawling.

LOGAN

It just doesn't make sense logistically.

RORY

So it's just gonna be me here?

LOGAN

Well you were gonna live here by yourself anyway.

RORY

I know, but if you're gonna have your whole new apartment, then you're gonna need all your stuff.

LOGAN

Don't worry I'm not gonna clean you out, ace.

RORY

I'll be fine. Take your stuff.

LOGAN

It's not gonna happen, new apartment, new stuff.

RORY

Really?

LOGAN

Yeah. I-I want a fresh start.

RORY

Hey well I mean, you should take some of your stuff, like your favorite stuff.

LOGAN

Like what?

RORY

Like, you know, you can't live without your suit of armor, can you? I mean you really want to take that.

LOGAN

You don't like Henry?

RORY

Well it's not that I don't like Henry it's just that he creeps me out.

LOGAN

Oh man now you just hurt Henry's feelings.

RORY

Well he's gonna have to grow a little tougher chain mail then if he's gonna make it on the mean streets of New York.

LOGAN

You're heartless, Gilmore.

LUKE

You hungry?

APRIL

Uh-huh.

LUKE

You want some juice?

APRIL

Uh-huh.

LUKE

Notice my hair is green?

APRIL

Uh-huh. Uh, hey?

LUKE

Dinners ready.

APRIL

Five more minutes?

LUKE

After dinner -- wash your hands. So what's so interesting, anyway?

APRIL

Hyperphagia.

LUKE

Oh, right. Cool.

APRIL

That's just a fancy term for overeating. It's what bears do in preparation for hibernation.

LUKE

Oh hey did I tell you about the time I saw a grizzly bear on a camping trip?

APRIL

Are you serious?

LUKE

500 pounds, easy. [putting dinner on the table] Turkey burgers, sweet potato fries, broccoli.

APRIL

Thanks. So, what did you do?

LUKE

Just backed away real slow, avoided eye contact -- that's how you show you're submissive.

APRIL

Really?

LUKE

Yeah it's all about body language. And you've got to try to stay calm.

APRIL

Hm. Were you?

LUKE

No.

APRIL

I forgot to tell you what happened with Rachel today.

LUKE

Did she apologize to Melissa? Are they talking again?

APRIL

Yeah, but they won't be as soon as Melissa finds out that Rachel asked Joanna to come with her to Florida to visit her grandparents.

LUKE

[Nods to agree]

APRIL

Did you remember to wash my jean skirt?

LUKE

It's hanging in the bathroom.

APRIL

Cool I want to wear it to Sabrina's party. I was going to wear that purple dress, but last time I wore it, Adam called me "Purple Nardini" all day.

LUKE

[Nods to agree]

APRIL

Yeah, it's a pretty uninspired insult, but the way he said it was so annoying. And now, since he knows it bugs me, he's probably just gonna keep saying it all night.

LUKE

"All night"?

APRIL

At Sabrina's party.

LUKE

Why would Adam be at her party?

APRIL

Because he was invited.

LUKE

To Sabrina's birthday?

APRIL

Well, yeah.

LUKE

Wait Sabrina's a girl, right?

APRIL

Yeah.

LUKE

And Adam's a boy?

APRIL

Yeah.

LUKE

And he'll be at her party?

APRIL

Yeah, it's a boy-girl party.

LUKE

What's that mean?

APRIL

[moving the salt and pepper as she talks] Well it means there will both be boys... and girls at the party.

LUKE

Yeah. All right. I just didn't know you were going to boy-girl parties, that's all.

APRIL

Well It's my first one. I only got invited 'cause Sabrina's parents made her invite the whole class. But I'm not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

LUKE

So, you're mom's okay with you going to a boy-girl party?

APRIL

Of course. I'm 13.

LUKE

So, um, listen. This is probably a stupid question, but... is there gonna be kissing at this party?

APRIL

Okay! Ew, dad!

LUKE

What?

APRIL

Oh, gross!

LUKE

What's gross -- kissing?

APRIL

No, you talking about kissing.

LUKE

What? All right, all right, I won't say "kissing."

APRIL

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! Stop! Stop!

LUKE

All right! I-I'm not saying it at all. Done -- new topic. I promise.

APRIL

The fries are really good.

LUKE

Good, good. Then eat your broccoli, too.

RORY

Hello?!

LORELAI

[Gasps] Honey! Oh, hi! [She kiss Rory in both cheeks] That's how we do it on the continent.

RORY

But of course. Hey, dad.

CHRISTOPHER

Hi, honey. [They hug]

LORELAI

Come on. Come in! Come in!

RORY

What are you wearing?

LORELAI

I hear it's called an apron.

RORY

Interesting why are you wearing that?

LORELAI

Well because I've been cooking snails...

RORY

You're kidding me.

LORELAI

Been cooking snails and dealing with snail spatter.

RORY

[Too Chris] She really cook those?

CHRISTOPHER

She really did.

LORELAI

What do you mean I told you I was gonna cook them.

RORY

Yeah but I thought it was just like a euphemism.

LORELAI

A euphemism for what?

RORY

A euphemism for "I'm ordering a pizza."

CHRISTOPHER

Come sit, sit.

RORY

So, how was your trip?

LORELAI

Oh, no. First, a glass of wine -- we went to the Chateau Du Nozet in the Loire valley, and this is Pouilly Fumé. It's supposed to be one of the best in the land, and after trying 10 varietals -- note the use of "varietal"...

RORY

Noted.

LORELAI

... Believe me, you tend to believe them.

CHRISTOPHER

We were drunk by the end of the tour, we bought a case.

RORY

Cool so you went to a winery? What else, what else did you do?

LORELAI

Um, here. Try a snail.

RORY

Uh, no.

LORELAI

Please? Come on. I made them.

RORY

You try one.

LORELAI

I'm full i've been snacking on them all day.

RORY

Well see and I had a lunch of bugs and lizards, so I'm good, too.

CHRISTOPHER

All right you know what, I'll try one.

RORY

You sure you don't want a lime and some salt so you can do it like a tequila shot?

CHRISTOPHER

I'm good. All right, you ready? One, two...

RORY

Well, how's it taste?

LORELAI

Well.

CHRISTOPHER

Sort of like a buttered gummi bear.

RORY

Pass. So, what else? Tell me -- France.

LORELAI

Okay, here it is. Um... while we were in France, your dad and I -- we got married.

RORY

What?

LORELAI

We got married.

RORY

You got married married?

LORELAI

Married married.

RORY

Really?

LORELAI

[Nods]

RORY

Um... wow. Wow. Um... hey, congratulations. T-that's -- that's so great.

CHRISTOPHER

Thanks. We're so excited.

RORY

Um, how? When?

LORELAI

UM...

CHRISTOPHER

Two days ago, in Giverny. It's about an hour outside Paris. It's where Monet had his studio, where he painted the water lilies.

RORY

Oh, so y-you guys just went there to get married?

LORELAI

Oh, no, we just went there to walk around, to see the lilies. And, um, then it started raining, and there was this little church, and, uh...

CHRISTOPHER

It was so beautiful, and we were so happy, and we got married.

RORY

Wow.

CHRISTOPHER

The ceremony was in French, so there's only a 90% chance that we're actually married. There's a 10% chance we were issued a very expensive dog license.

RORY

Wow. Wow. Um... oh, I'm -- I'm so happy for you guys.

LORELAI

Really?

CHRISTOPHER

You know, we need champagne.

LORELAI

Yes.

CHRISTOPHER

Do we have champagne?

LORELAI

Uh, in the c-cooler in the garage, maybe.

CHRISTOPHER

Okay

LORELAI

Okay.

CHRISTOPHER

I'll be right back.

LORELAI

Okay! [Sighs as the door closes] Well?

RORY

What?

LORELAI

What do you think?

RORY

Um, what do you mean?

LORELAI

I mean, what do you think?

RORY

I don't know, mom. I can't believe that you did this.

LORELAI

You're mad?

RORY

Yes, I'm mad.

LORELAI

Rory...

RORY

Just stop, okay? Don't.

LORELAI

Okay, but...

RORY

I can't do this right now. Because Dad is about to come back in here, and I just can't.

LORELAI

Okay.

CHRISTOPHER

Unfortunately, we went all the way to France and didn't come back with a bottle of champagne, so we're gonna have to make do with California's finest.

RORY

It's okay.

FEMALE GUEST

[talking to another guest] And she showed me her ring, this huge canary diamond. Looked like something Paris Hilton would wear.

LOGAN

Hey, you made it.

RORY

I made it.

LOGAN

You look beautiful. [They kiss] How was dinner did your mom really make snails?

RORY

Well not only did she make snails, she got married.

LOGAN

What?

RORY

In France -- to my dad.

LOGAN

Wow.

RORY

Yeah.

LOGAN

Wow!

RORY

I know.

LOGAN

How do you feel about it?

RORY

Ah you mean besides really bad?

LOGAN

Well do you want a drink?

RORY

No, I'm good for now.

LOGAN

Let's go outside and talk about it.

RORY

Um no, I'm okay. I mean I will want to talk about it, but right now I'm still processing.

LOGAN

Well it's a lot to process, don't feel like you have to stay if you don't want to.

RORY

Oh, no. I want to be here.

LOGAN

Are you sure?

RORY

Yeah, little-known fact -- I am quite the compartmentalizer. In fact, I have a blister on my heel. I've been ignoring it all evening.

LOGAN

Alright well if you change your mind, you want to talk about it...

RORY

I'm fine, this is your night. So how can I help?

LOGAN

Just be your charming, blister-ignoring self.

RORY

I can do that. So, who's here? Or, rather, who's not here?

LOGAN

Yeah we got a pretty good turnout, huh?

RORY

Yeah.

LOGAN

Alright see that guy right there? He's a Rockefeller. He doesn't like you to talk about the fact, that he's a Rockefeller but we wants you to know he's a Rockefeller. So if you talk to him make sure he knows you know, but don't say you know.

RORY

I'm gonna try to work in the phrase "standard oil."

LOGAN

Behind us – Boykin and his fiancée, Celery. And, no, I'm not kidding. Those are their real names.

RORY

Un here "Meet my boyfriend, Boykin." Try saying that five times fast.

PHILLIP

Rory, you made it!

RORY

Yeah.

LOGAN

Hey.

NICK

Hey, Rory.

RORY

Hi.

PHILLIP

You look beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

NICK

Careful man you're drooling.

PHILLIP

How are things at Yale? Only six months until you're sprung free, right?

RORY

Yeah. Don't remind me. I'm so not ready to be sprung.

PHILLIP

Oh stop you'll be brilliant. Can I get you a drink?

RORY

Oh, thanks.

PHILLIP

I'll be back.

BOBBI

Hello, Rory, darling.

RORY

Hi.

BOBBI

I'm so happy you made it. That dress is so cute.

RORY

Oh, thanks. Um, your dress is cute, too.

BOBBI

[Chuckles] Thank you, sweetheart. So, bit of exciting news -- "page six" is here.

LOGAN

Really?

RORY

Wow. Congratulations.

NICK

It's all Bobbi.

BOBBI

Oh, rubbish. Oh before I forget, you sent a case of champagne to Joe McMillan. His website's trash, but we need him to write something smashing about us.

LOGAN

Sounds good.

NICK

Damn, Oscar Schroeder's limo didn't show. I've got to find him another one, the gentleman can't be expected to walk three whole blocks.

BOBBI

Ooh, Tripp Cavanaugh?

LOGAN

Tripp! Hey, man, glad you could make it. [they shake hands] Bobbi, you know Tripp.

TRIPP

Hey sweetheart. [They kiss on both cheeks.]

LOGAN

And this is my girlfriend, Rory Gilmore.

TRIPP

Nice to meet you.

RORY

Nice to meet you to.

RORY

Oh.

RORY

Oh.

BOBBI

Tripp's just back from Tortola. He's building an incredible house there.

LOGAN

Wow congratulations.

TRIPP

Well we'll see construction on the island is such a joke. I mean try getting anyone to meet a schedule.

LOGAN

I've heard that.

TRIPP

Plus, my property's totally isolated, which will be great once the house is built, but it's a construction nightmare. [Logan and Rory look on like they are only half interested in what Tripp has to say] Turns out, the bridge that accesses my land can't take the weight of the truck carrying the supplies. So we had to off-load the supplies onto a smaller vehicle. That necessitated 2 forklifts, none of this is covered in the estimate, of course.

BOBBI

It never is.

TRIPP

Anyway, so we finally got the materials -- finally.

RORY

Oh, great.

TRIPP

Yeah unfortunately, that's when the real trouble began. Without consulting me they decided to move the pool over 10 feet 'cause the excavation crew needed more room for their equipment. Well of course, I flip. I mean who ever heard of a pool right in the middle of the backyard?

RORY

Well, not me.

TRIPP

Right I told them that was unacceptable and they have to move.

PHOTOGRAPHER

Can I get a picture of you guys?

BOBBI

Oh sure.

LOGAN

Absolutely.

BOBBI

I've got correct names and spellings. [Goes of with the photographer.]

TRIPP

Where was I?

RORY

Um, your pool.

TRIPP

So we shifted the thing back 10 feet, thank God, but when they started digging in the right place, we found out that the soil in Tortola is far more porous than we initially thought.

LOGAN

Oh, god.

RORY

Bummer.

TRIPP

Yeah bummer is right, so we had to lay down a drainage system, or at least that was the plan. But it turns out in Tortola they have these building codes that specifically...

BOBBI

Tripp, have you met Natasha Wolfe?

TRIPP

No I don't think so.

BOBBI

Oh god you have to meet her. She has a house in Tortola, as well. Come come.

TRIPP

Will you excuse me?

LOGAN

Absolutely.

RORY

Nice meeting you.

RORY

Um, can we please never go to Tortola?

LOGAN

I don't even want to meet John Turturro.

RORY

Or eat tortellini.

LOGAN

Hey, you'll actually like this guy. Hugo.

HUGO

Logan. Hey. How you doing, man?

LOGAN

Not to bad, this is my girlfriend, Rory Gilmore.

HUGO

Hey Hugo Grace, nice to meet you.

RORY

You to.

LOGAN

Hugo spent two years working at the New York Times, another couple at Slate, and then the Paris Review under George Plimpton.

RORY

Wow did you just worship at his feet?

HUGO

I tried, but he kept telling me to get off the ground.

LOGAN

Hugo's starting a new online magazine -- lots of buzz.

HUGO

It could mean nothing.

LOGAN

Could mean something.

HUGO

See why I like this guy?

RORY

You don't have to convince me.

LOGAN

Rory's the editor of the Yale Daily News.

RORY

I was the editor I just abdicated my throne -- or, rather, my swivel chair.

HUGO

That's impressive.

PHILLIP

Your drink -- sorry it got waylaid. [Too Logan] Need you help buddy, Dan Cryer's about one drink away from hitting on Jerrickson's wife.

LOGAN

That would be bad. [The group laughs] Excuse me.

HUGO

Hey I'm gonna monopolize you a little bit longer. If you don't mind, once you find somebody that can talk about something other than stock quotes at one of these things, you kinda hold on for dear life.

RORY

Oh God I know what you mean.

HUGO

It's pretty different from parties at Yale?

RORY

Fewer drunken musings on Roland Barthes. Although, on the plus side, I am learning a great deal about the tackiness of the canary diamond.

HUGO

They're not teaching that these days? Tell me they at least have a course in piloting the family jet.

RORY

Sadly, no.

HUGO

Man, no wonder we're falling behind the Japanese. Is it the Chinese now? I know we're definitely falling behind someone. So ah, what kind of pieces you write at Yale?

RORY

Um a little bit of everything, that's the great thing about being editor -- you can pretty much give yourself the best pieces. I got to interview Barack Obama a couple weeks ago. He came to speak at campus

HUGO

Really? Did you ask you buddy Barack if he's gonna run in 2008?

RORY

Well what kind of journalist would I be if I didn't?

HUGO

And?

RORY

Standard answer -- "no current plans." But I saw a twinkle in his eye.

HUGO

Well, you can't quote a twinkle.

RORY

But you can describe it.

HUGO

Good point. Hey, listen. If you want to submit something to my site, I'd be happy to take a look at it.

RORY

Really? Wow that would be great, what kind of pieces are you looking for?

HUGO

Ah ,cultural and social observations. We're sort of Slate meets New York Times' "lifestyle" section, before they sold out.

RORY

Ha-ha cool.

HUGO

You can definitely write about a party like this.

RORY

Really.

LOGAN

[Coming back] I got Cryer talking golf -- disaster averted.

RORY

Good job.

HUGO

Oh listen I've got to take off, man. I got an early morning.

LOGAN

All right, man. Thanks a lot for coming out. I really appreciate it.

HUGO

No thank you. It was nice to meet you, Rory.

RORY

You to.

HUGO

And here's my card. There you go.

RORY

Thanks.

HUGO

We'll see you guys around

RORY

Bye.

LOGAN

Thanks. Look at you, getting a card.

RORY

I know, he said I should submit a piece for him, like something about this party.

LOGAN

Seriously you have to do it.

RORY

I know. I am.

TRIPP

Logan, Rory I am so sorry I got pulled away. Natasha Wolfe actually has a house on another one of the beef islands. No Tortola. Still, she had an interesting experience when she was building.

LORELAI

Okay, I'm just gonna leave you one more message, and then I'm gonna start sending telegrams. [Sighs] Honey, I-I know you think this marriage was a big step, and... and it seems impulsive to you, and we talked about going slow, and this seems like the opposite of slow. And, in some ways, it is. And, in some ways, it really isn't. And I really want to talk to you about it. So, please, call me back... or respond to any of my forthcoming telegrams. Okay. Bye-bye.

RORY

I don't know I think the piece is good. I was just on a roll. You know I mean, I was hopped up. I couldn't sleep. I was just way too excited, and I drank way too much coffee -- way too much coffee. Oh, I should, I should really stop talking and let you finish reading.

LORELAI

Okay, I'm just gonna leave you one more message...

RORY

So... what do you think?

LOGAN

I don't know what to say.

RORY

Oh, yeah I know the ending is a little convoluted, but I...

LOGAN

It's not convoluted. You made your feelings perfectly clear.

RORY

What do you mean.

LOGAN

Just that it must have been really hard for you at my party, surrounded by all those people with -- how do you put it? "Who can no more imagine a world without trust funds than a world without water -- imported and bubbly, of course."

RORY

Oh no that was meant to be funny...

LOGAN

It sounds like it was torturous, being stuck there with "these overprivileged sons and daughters of somebodies "who fail to grasp how out of touch they seem "to those of us who don't have an errant domestic employee or a construction problem on beef island."

RORY

You're mad?

LOGAN

You're damn right I'm mad.

RORY

But you were making fun of these people all night.

LOGAN

I joking I wasn't standing there judging everyone.

RORY

I didn't judge everyone.

LOGAN

The title is "Let Them Drink Cosmos." I was joking with my girlfriend. I wasn't comparing a whole class of people to Marie Antoinette.

RORY

I'm so I really didn't think that this would upset you.

LOGAN

You didn't think it would upset me?

RORY

No, no. I was just writing. I mean I was worked up. I was mad at my mom. Maybe that kind of got into the piece somehow. But, no, this was meant to be funny. I didn't think you would take it personally. I mean you're totally different from these people.

LOGAN

No, I'm not, and you know what I don't want to be.

RORY

Logan...

LOGAN

What I'm a rich trust-fund kid. I'm not ashamed of it.

RORY

No and you shouldn't be. That's not what I meant. I mean, the point or the point I was trying to make was that people use connections to get ahead.

LOGAN

Oh give me a break, you act like making connections is something nefarious. It's just people meeting people.

RORY

Well, it's certain people meeting certain people. It's not like anyone's meeting Joe bus driver.

LOGAN

And you're Joe bus driver.

RORY

Well, no, but...

LOGAN

Exactly, I mean where do you get off acting all morally superior?

RORY

That is not what I intended to say at all.

LOGAN

You clearly think you are. Why? Because you read "Ironweed"? 'Cause you saw "Norma Rae"?

RORY

Logan...

LOGAN

Wake up Rory whether you like it or not, you're one of us. You went to prep school. You go to Yale. Your grandparents are building a whole damn astronomy building in your name.

RORY

That is different, okay? It's not like I live off a $5-million trust fund my parents set up for me.

LOGAN

Yeah well, you're not exactly paying rent, either.

RORY

[Scoffs] Screw you, Logan.

LORELAI

[Sighs]

LUKE

So you're getting ready for the party, huh?

APRIL

Yep.

LUKE

I can get you some real wrapping paper.

APRIL

Did you not see "An Inconvenient Truth"?

LUKE

Are you okay?

APRIL

Yeah, I just have a little stomachache that's all.

LUKE

[Sounding a little worried] Yeah.

APRIL

Okay what do you think. I put this article on Darfur on the front, you know to put things in perspective in case Sabrina doesn't like the CD that I picked out for her.

LUKE

Oh that's looks pretty good. So, I wanted to talk to you about tonight. [April holds her side] Hey, are you sure you're okay? Maybe you should get something to eat.

APRIL

I'm not hungry. Hand me the tape, please.

LUKE

Sweetie, you don't look so good.

APRIL

Well that's not a nice thing to say to someone who's on her way to her first boy-girl party.

LUKE

Oh yeah, sorry.

APRIL

Tape please...

LUKE

So, look, about the party.

APRIL

Yeah? [reaches for the tape]

LUKE

I want to talk to you about that thing we were talking about the other night. I'm not gonna use the "k" word, okay? Instead, I'll just use "juggiling," okay?

APRIL

"Juggiling"?

LUKE

"Juggiling"

APRIL

Okay.

LUKE

Okay, so here's the thing. Even if all the other kids are juggiling and you might feel like you want to juggile, too, I don't think you should juggile before you're ready.

APRIL

I know.

LUKE

And I don't think you're ready.

APRIL

How do you know?

LUKE

Well let's put it this way. I'm not ready.

APRIL

Well that seems arbitrary, since you're not the one doing it.

LUKE

Yeah, it may be, but, still, if I let you go to this party, you have to promise me that you won't juggile with boys.

APRIL

Fine.

LUKE

"Fine"?

APRIL

Yes. Fine.

LUKE

Okay.

APRIL

[Sighs] Shoot, where'd I put Sabrina's card?

LUKE

Oh I...

APRIL

Oh, there it is. [Sighs]

LUKE

Hey, are you sure you're okay?

APRIL

I feel fine.

LUKE

Here let me feel your forehead.

APRIL

I feel fine.

LUKE

Y-- April, you have a fever.

APRIL

I swear, dad, I feel fine.

LUKE

You can't go to the party if you're sick.

APRIL

I'm not sick!

LUKE

Yeah, you are, sweetie.

APRIL

You just don't want me to go!

LUKE

That's not true.

APRIL

It is! You don't trust me!

LUKE

Of course I do. Look there will be other parties.

APRIL

NO!

LUKE

I'm sorry, April. You're sick.

APRIL

I'm not!

LUKE

Yeah, you are, sweetie.

APRIL

I can go!

LUKE

No, you can't. [goes off to her bed]

APRIL

You suck as a dad!

LUKE

[Sits down a sighs]

ANSWERING MACHINE

You have no messages.

CHRISTOPHER

I think this is the last of the clothes.

LORELAI

Oh yeah.

CHRISTOPHER

Uh-um.

LORELAI

Aah! Come here. What is that?

CHRISTOPHER

What? It's a shirt. What's wrong with a shirt?

LORELAI

Let's start with the color. It's peach.

CHRISTOPHER

I look good in peach.

LORELAI

Exactly. Men who buy peach shirts buy it ‘cause think they look good in peach, which means they really thought about it, which means they're obsessed with their looks!

CHRISTOPHER

I'm not obsessed with my looks!

LORELAI

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a peach shirt.

CHRISTOPHER

Alright just leave my stuff alone.

LORELAI

Oh, my god, you dirty thief.

CHRISTOPHER

Excuse me?

LORELAI

You stinking, lying, stinking, ratty, dirty thief!

CHRISTOPHER

What?

LORELAI

This is my Police "Synchronicity" t-shirt. I have been missing this for 22 years! I asked you if you had it! I looked you right in the face, and you denied it!

CHRISTOPHER

I lied.

LORELAI

Oh, you lied! You lied! [Chris laughs] Do you know how long I looked for this?! Days and days and then I accused my mother of throwing it out, and she said she didn't, and, oh, my god, I hated her. Oh my god I could have had the best relationship with my mother if only you hadn't stolen my shirt. Well, keep laughing, buddy, because, I'll tell you, the laugh's on you now! You better get used to seeing this shirt, because I have to make up for 22 years of not wearing it. Where do you think you're going?

CHRISTOPHER

I'm dropping this stuff off in Rory's room. Actual I guess it's Gigi's room now. Wow, that's weird, huh?

LORELAI

Really weird.

CHRISTOPHER

A big selling point -- the proximity of this room to the kitchen. I don't know why but Gigi was incredibly psyched about that.

LORELAI

Why? You feed her, don't you, Hmm?

CHRISTOPHER

I knew there was something I was forgetting. [Chris moves a lap off the desk]

LORELAI

Wow what are you doing?

CHRISTOPHER

I'm just seeing how heavy it is, Thought maybe we could move it in the garage, get Gigi's coloring table in here.

LORELAI

Yes, or we could just leave it right here.

CHRISTOPHER

Nah, Gigi's not gonna need it for a couple years. Oh you know what I was thinking, trundle beds.

LORELAI

Trundle beds?

CHRISTOPHER

For when Rory comes to visit.

LORELAI

Uh, okay. Wait. I'm sorry. Slow down.

CHRISTOPHER

Why?

LORELAI

Um... I just -- I don't want to change Rory's room all around without consulting her.

CHRISTOPHER

She's not gonna care. She's graduating in the spring.

LORELAI

Right and lots of college graduates end up back home, where they need their desks.

CHRISTOPHER

Lor.

LORELAI

What I'm just being realistic. Okay it's not like she's gonna be an investment banker. You know she's gonna be a journalist, and journalists get paid crap.

CHRISTOPHER

So if she needs money, we'll help her out.

LORELAI

Right. Okay. That's fine. But, still, why not just leave Rory's room as it is? Give Gigi something to aspire to. Things worked out pretty well for Rory. I mean, she went to Yale.

CHRISTOPHER

Lor...

LORELAI

Chris?

CHRISTOPHER

I know it's difficult, but things around here are gonna change.

LORELAI

You think I don't know that? I just, uh... I don't want Rory to feel like the rug's being pulled out from under her, you know, like she's being kicked out.

CHRISTOPHER

Rory's gonna be fine.

LORELAI

You don't know that. She's already upset.

CHRISTOPHER

About what?

LORELAI

About you and me, about the marriage.

CHRISTOPHER

She seemed fine when we told her.

LORELAI

In front of you, and then you left, and... [Sighs] ... She told me she was really upset.

CHRISTOPHER

What? H-how could you not tell me that?

LORELAI

Well, honey, I...

CHRISTOPHER

No, I'm her father, Lorelai. We're married now.

LORELAI

Okay, well, I'm telling you now. [Sighs]

CHRISTOPHER

Let's call her. We should talk about it.

LORELAI

I did.

CHRISTOPHER

And?

LORELAI

And she's not answering right now. But it'll be okay, you know? It'll be fine. It's just -- it's a sensitive thing, and, uh... and I-I just feel like we should give it time, you know, before we spring trundle beds on her.

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah, okay.

LORELAI

I mean she just needs time to adjust.

CHRISTOPHER

Okay.

LORELAI

Okay?

CHRISTOPHER

There's a few more things I got to bring in from the car.

OLIVIA

AND LUCY'S APARTMENT

RORY

He's the one who insisted I move in with him, begged me practically and now he throws it back in my face, like I'm some kind of leech.

LUCY

That's such a low blow.

RORY

So low. Uh I hate everyone today.

OLIVIA

Including us?

RORY

Well no, not you guys, but don't cross me, sister.

LUCY

Keep reading, Liv.

RORY

I'm practically homeless. Obviously, I can't live there.

LUCY

You can move in with us.

RORY

Is that allowed?

LUCY

Well not technically.

OLIVIA

But we have a hot plate, and we're not allowed to have that either.

LUCY

Will you finish reading that article so I can read it?

OLIVIA

Okay, okay.

LUCY

Seriously Rory, you should just move in here with us. We'll make a smaller common room. We'll put up a temporary wall.

RORY

You know how to do that?

LUCY

I don't, but boyfriend's super handy.

RORY

Oh, right.

LUCY

He put up those bookshelves, and they're fine for, you know, paperbacks.

RORY

You know what don't worry about me you guys are taking enough of a risk with that hot plate. I will figure something out.

LUCY

Well, if you need to...

RORY

Yeah. Thanks.

OLIVIA

Here. [Hand Lucy the article.]

RORY

So, what did you think?

OLIVIA

It's a really great piece.

RORY

You think.

OLIVIA

Yeah you're an awesome writer.

RORY

Thanks.

OLIVIA

It was sharp and funny, and I could totally see everything and imagine everyone.

RORY

Thanks. And it's not mean, right?

OLIVIA

No, no, it's mean.

LUCY

Yeah, it is mean, and I'm only on the first paragraph.

OLIVIA

Keep reading it gets meaner.

RORY

It's mean?

OLIVIA

Sort of Lynn Hirshberg meets -- I don't know, someone really mean.

RORY

What? No! No, I'm Fran Lebowitz. It's supposed to be fun, frothy, lighthearted satire, social anthropology. I'm Tama Janowitz.

OLIVIA

A mean Tama Janowitz.

RORY

Oh, god. I'm mean? I'm mean and judgmental, and I didn't even mean to be. I was just trying to sell an article. Well no wonder he's upset.

OLIVIA

Come on! He knows you. It wasn't intentional.

RORY

That's worse! I didn't even mean to be mean, and I was mean, mean and judgmental and insensitive. I really do hate everyone today, including myself. Great. The circle's complete.

LUKE

You sure you don't want some ginger ale? It'll settle your stomach.

APRIL

I feel fine.

LUKE

Okay. How about a movie? I could rent us a movie. Come on, April. Look I know you're a little upset. But, I promise you, there will be other parties.

APRIL

[Groans]

LUKE

Come on, talk to me. [Sighs, feels Aprils forehead] Wow! Okay, you're really hot, sweetie. Hang on a minute.

LORELAI

Hello?

LUKE

Yeah April's really sick, and I don't know what to do. She's got a fever, and it's her stomach. And she's really pale so I don't...

LORELAI

Okay. Slow down. Did she throw up?

LUKE

No.

LORELAI

Did she eat something bad?

LUKE

No she hasn't eaten all day.

LORELAI

Aw, where does it hurt?

LUKE

She's holding her side.

LORELAI

Which side?

LUKE

Her right side. It seems to be getting worse.

LORELAI

Oh wow it could be appendicitis.

LUKE

Appendicitis -- really?

LORELAI

Yeah, yeah it's gonna be okay, but you should take her right to the hospital. Take her to St. Joseph's.

LUKE

Okay. Okay.

WOMAN

We have five minutes left.

MAN

No, we don't.

WOMAN

I checked my watch before I fed the meter.

MAN

So did I.

WOMAN

You couldn't have because we've got five minutes left.

NAM

No we don't.

LUKE

[Sounding annoyed] Five minutes have passed since you started this inane conversation. So if I were you I'd put another quarter in and call it a day!

WOMAN

You need to check your watch battery.

MAN

Check my watch? This is a Quartz Timex. You wind it.

LORELAI

[Sighs] Hey.

LUKE

Oh, hey. Hi.

LORELAI

How is she?

LUKE

Okay. It was appendicitis, like you said. But she's okay. I mean the operation went really great. They got it out, no problem. And she's gonna be fine. And I'm gonna be able to see her pretty soon.

LORELAI

Good, good.

LUKE

Yeah you didn't -- you know you didn't have to come, but thanks for coming.

LORELAI

There's nothing worse than taking your kid to the emergency room. You know I remember Rory had food poisoning, and they had to hook her up to an I.V. And she just looked so little and scared. It made me feel like they were gonna have to hook me up to an I.V.

LUKE

I was almost out of my mind, I was so scared. I mean at one point, I got so panicked, I was thinking maybe I'd give her my appendix, you know if they could do some kind of a transplant or something. But I was a little out of my mind.

LORELAI

Well, I'm glad she's gonna be okay.

LUKE

She's gonna be alright...

DOCTOR

Mr. And Mrs. Nardini?

LUKE

Oh, no. Hi, I'm Luke Danes. I'm April's dad.

DOCTOR

Well, she's a little out of it right now, but you and your wife can go in and see her.

LUKE

No, she's not my...

LORELAI

No, I'm not, uh...

DOCTOR

Oh. Sorry. I just assumed. [pause] So, would both of you like to go in and...

LUKE

I'll just...

LORELAI

You go.

LUKE

Okay.

LORELAI

Okay.

LUKE

All right.

LOGAN

Trust me. Don't call him today. He's going to put his money down. He just doesn't like the aggressive stuff. We have to sit back, relax, let him come to us. If we don't hear from him in a week, then we panic. [Rory comes home] Yeah. Nick, I got to call you back. All right. Bye. [Hangs up] Sorry. [Sighs] I hope it's okay that I'm here.

RORY

Hey, it's your apartment.

LOGAN

Rory [Sighs] I'm so sorry I said that.

RORY

Yeah, well...

LOGAN

I was way out of line. I just... I love it that you're here. You know that I love it that you're here.

RORY

Yeah. No, I know.

LOGAN

I was just upset.

RORY

Well, you had every right to be. That article was awful.

LOGAN

It wasn't awful.

RORY

It was awful and mean and judgmental, as you said. I just, I don't even know why I didn't see that or what I was thinking, except that maybe I wasn't thinking.

LOGAN

Look it's okay.

RORY

No, it's not okay. I was just trying to write a clever article, and I didn't mean to upset you, but I should have thought about it. I should have know.

LOGAN

But if that's the way you feel...

RORY

But that's just it. It's not the way I feel.

LOGAN

You don't have to approve of everything I do.

RORY

I know that, but I actually do. I mean I have total respect for everything that you're doing. I'm so proud of you.

LOGAN

I know you are.

RORY

Do you? Because I really need you to know that.

LOGAN

I really know.

RORY

Because I really am.

LOGAN

I know.

RORY

Promise?

LOGAN

I promise, and look the truth is, I wouldn't be so upset if you weren't such a good writer. I mean, talk about the pen being mightier than the sword. It's true that pen of yours is a howitzer.

RORY

You don't have to say that.

LOGAN

I wouldn't if it wasn't true.

RORY

Can we talk about something besides the article?

LOGAN

Hey you got to compliment me. Let me compliment you.

RORY

We're complimenting each other now?

LOGAN

If you'll let me.

RORY

I guess that's okay.

LOGAN

[Chuckles] You're a really great writer, ace.

RORY

You have great hair.

LOGAN

You've got awesome teeth. I've always admired your teeth.

RORY

Really? I never knew.

LOGAN

Yep, particularly the bottom ones.

RORY

I love you so much.

LOGAN

I love you, too.

RORY

Um, but here's the thing. I have to move out of this apartment.

LOGAN

No, you don't.

RORY

Yes, I do. I always thought that you would come back and live here. But now that you're getting your own place nearby, it's just different.

LOGAN

No, it's not.

RORY

Yes, it is. It's just something I have to do for me. But you should know that I plan on taking Henry with me.

LOGAN

You'll have to take that up with him. You did insult him earlier.

RORY

Did I? Hmm.

LOGAN

Hey.

LORELAI

Hi. I'm sorry. I would have buzzed up, but Um, I saw a delivery guy coming in, so I slipped in with him. Boy, they sure do eat well over in 4-F. Can I come in?

LOGAN

Oh, yeah. Sure. Come on in.

RORY

What are you doing here?

LORELAI

[Sighs] Well, I just -- I wanted to see you.

LOGAN

Look, I got to run out and take care of a few things. Good to see you, Lorelai.

LORELAI

Thanks. Good to see you. [Logan leaves] I'm guessing your cell phone's not broken, huh?

RORY

I just didn't feel much like talking.

LORELAI

I know. Look I know you're upset. I know this seems sudden and like we didn't think it through. And in a way, it was impulsive. But in other ways, it's been 20 years in the making.

RORY

That's not why I'm upset. I'm glad you're married.

LORELAI

You're glad?

RORY

Yes, I'm -- I'm happy for you. It's wonderful.

LORELAI

Yeah?

RORY

Yeah. You're great together. You love each other. I mean It's every kid's dream, right? Parents get back together. But I wasn't there.

LORELAI

You weren't there.

RORY

I should have been there when you got married.

LORELAI

Yes, you should have been there.

RORY

I mean how would you feel if I got married and you weren't there?

LORELAI

Awful, I would feel awful.

RORY

I feel awful.

LORELAI

Look I'm sorry. You know, I -- of course I wanted you to be there.

RORY

I could have been there. All you had to do was make one phone call. You could have picked up the phone and said, "come to Paris," and I would have come to Paris.

LORELAI

I know that and I did I wanted to call you. But then I thought, if I called you, then you'd want to talk about it, and I'd have to explain. And then maybe I would talk myself out of it. I mean after everything that happened with the engagement, I didn't want a debate. I just wanted to do it, because I am so certain, Rory. I'm so certain that this is right. I really wanted to be married to your dad, and I didn't want to talk my way out of it. I just wanted to do it.

RORY

Well I wouldn't have tried to stop you. I wouldn't have tried to talk you out of it.

LORELAI

No?

RORY

No. I mean the only thing I might have said is maybe you guys would want to come back to the states to get married, so you could have some close friends there, like Sookie and Jackson, maybe grandma and grandpa, Gigi. Or maybe you would have wanted to live together for a while, like six months, just to try it out and... Yeah, I totally would have talked you out of it.

LORELAI

Oh, I'm sorry.

RORY

No, don't be sorry. I mean, I'm really happy for you and dad. It's amazing.

LORELAI

It is amazing.

RORY

You're married.

LORELAI

I know.

RORY

It's big.

LORELAI

It's big. It's a big change. But nothing's gonna change between you and me. I don't want you to feel weird.

RORY

Okay.

LORELAI

Of course, your dad is gonna put flat-screen TVs in every room in the house, but your house is still your house. Your room is still your room, though we did talk about putting a trundle bed in there for Gigi, So it'd kind of be your room and Gigi's room, but we don't have to do that.

RORY

No I'm down with a trundle bed.

LORELAI

You are?

RORY

Yeah, I love a good trundle. I'll trundle it up with Gigi.

LORELAI

Aw

RORY

Hey, you didn't take dad's name, did you?

LORELAI

No. No. "Hayden"? No. I don't want to be Mrs. Hayden planetarium for the rest of my life. I'm Lorelai Gilmore, okay? Lorelai Gilmore without the "Gilmore" is like... Gil, you know, less. Okay.

LORELAI

[Grunts]

CHRISTOPHER

What ya doin'?

LORELAI

Hey. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up.

CHRISTOPHER

You probably shouldn't be moving furniture around at midnight, then.

LORELAI

I'm sorry. [They kiss]

CHRISTOPHER

When did you get back?

LORELAI

About half an hour ago.

CHRISTOPHER

How's April?

LORELAI

She's appendix-less, but she's gonna be okay.

CHRISTOPHER

Good.

LORELAI

I saw Luke.

CHRISTOPHER

Was it okay?

LORELAI

It was fine.

CHRISTOPHER

Good. It's good you went over.

LORELAI

But then I went to see Rory.

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah.

LORELAI

Yeah.

CHRISTOPHER

How is she?

LORELAI

She's good, we talked, and she's good.

CHRISTOPHER

Good.

LORELAI

And she's really happy that we're married.

CHRISTOPHER

I knew she would be.

LORELAI

Hey, I was thinking about the room.

CHRISTOPHER

Hum-um.

LORELAI

And I was thinking we should paint it...

CHRISTOPHER

Yes.

LORELAI

And we should let Gigi pick the color.

CHRISTOPHER

She's gonna pick pink.

LORELAI

Pink would be great in here. Come on, help me move this out.

CHRISTOPHER

Okay.

LORELAI

[Grunts]

CHRISTOPHER

Hey, so I was upstairs. I got an idea.

LORELAI

Oh.

CHRISTOPHER

How about a flat-screen in the bedroom?

LORELAI

The bedroom?

CHRISTOPHER

Come on.

LORELAI

No!

CHRISTOPHER

Think about it!

TV

[Man talking] Let's take a look at the national weather map and see what's in store for the country over the next f...

CARY GRANT

"two years ago, I did you out of a wedding in this house by eloping to Maryland."

KATHARINE HEPBURN

Two years ago, you were invited to a wedding in this house...

CARY GRANT

Just a loan.

KATHARINE HEPBURN

And then I did you out of it by eloping to Maryland...

CARY GRANT

"which was very bad manners."

KATHARINE HEPBURN

... Which was very bad manners.

CARY GRANT

"But I hope to make it up to you by going through with it now as originally planned."

KATHARINE HEPBURN

But I hope to make it up to you by, by going beautifully through with it now as originally planned.