T7E9: “Knit, People, Knit!”

RICHARD

Lorelai couldn't have been more than, what, 8 or 10years old? But she was very definite about the whole thing. She looked me directly in the eye, and she said, "when I grow up, I'm going to marry Tip O'Neill."

CHRISTOPHER

[Laughing]

RICHARD

I swear to you, I nearly had a heart attack.

LORELAI

I liked the name "tip." I thought it was cute, like a puppy or a bunny.

RICHARD

Anyway, I'm happy that you two got married, and quite relieved not to have had Tip O'Neill as a son-in-law. Here's to your marriage -- our heartfelt congratulations. We also got you a little gift.

LORELAI

Oh, yes, which is crying out to be opened.

RICHARD

It's just a little token to commemorate the occasion.

CHRISTOPHER

Thank you.

LORELAI

Thank you. I love the look of this wrapping paper.

RICHARD

To the happy couple...

LORELAI

Oh, well, not the time.

RICHARD

...To Lorelai and Christopher.

RORY

Hear, hear!

EMILY

To Lorelai and Christopher.

LORELAI

Long may they live. Okay, time to open?

EMILY

Yes, you may open your present. For heavens sakes you're like a dolphin at feeding time.

LORELAI

[in shock at the gift which is a picture] Wow. I mean, d-- I -- it's -- it's like, "wow."

EMILY

It's an etching by Kiki Smith.

LORELAI

Oh it's extraordinary, this item.

CHRISTOPHER

Wow.

LORELAI

Wow, right?

EMILY

It's called "Wolf Girl."

RICHARD

Baldwin, our dealer, is a big fan of Kiki Smith. Apparently she's all the rage in New York.

CHRISTOPHER

That was very generous of you.

RICHARD

Oh it's our pleasure. All young couples should cultivate an art collection.

LORELAI

Well, this is gonna start our collection off... with a bang. [Showing the picture]

RORY

[Gasps]

EMILY

I'm so happy you love it. We were flying blind without a gift registry.

LORELAI

Well, you flew great, mom.

EMILY

Of course I imagine it's difficult to have the forethought to register when you decide to suddenly elope. Everything changes when a couple elopes, doesn't it? Nothing is done in quite the traditional manner -- for instance, informing your parents of your marriage by leaving them a message on their answering machine.

CHRISTOPHER

What? You told me you told them.

LORELAI

I didn't say they were home when I told them.

RORY

Mom, you're such a chicken.

LORELAI

You left a message on their machine?

RICHARD

She certainly did.

EMILY

I come home, and I push "play" on the machine, and what do I hear between a message from Lily Margulies about her fund-raiser for Tanzanian children and one from my tennis pro, but my very own daughter telling me, guess what -- she's married.

LORELAI

Mom, I'm sorry. I just...

EMILY

Well why just talk about it? Why not share it?

LORELAI

No, no! Hey, hey!

EMILY

Isn't that lovely?

LORELAI

Mom, erase that, please.

EMILY

I most certainly will not. Your father and I plan to treasure it forever. We're going to have it as a keepsake or a memento. "Remember when Lorelai told us she was married?"

RICHARD

"Ah, yes, and what was it exactly that she said?" "I think it was something like this."

CHRISTOPHER

The lamb is delicious, Emily.

LORELAI

Look who's being Mr. "Favorite son-in-law happy smile face"?

EMILY

I'm glad you're enjoying it Christopher. My butcher had it flown in from New Zealand.

LORELAI

First class I hope.

CHRISTOPHER

Well, the dinner is very nice.

RORY

It is.

RICHARD

It ought to be. We have cause to celebrate.

EMILY

Yes we do speaking of which, we have decided that we would like to throw you two a wedding party.

LORELAI

Oh, that's very sweet.

CHRISTOPHER

Very sweet.

LORELAI

Very sweet mum, but you know what -- it's totally unnecessary. Look you already gave us "wolf girl," which, I mean, ah? How do you top that?

RICHARD

We insist.

LORELAI

Dad we're already married. Isn't it too late?

EMILY

No but soon it will be. We need to get on this right away.

RICHARD

We don't want it to look as if there's anything to be ashamed of here, if we don't through a party who knows what people will think?

LORELAI

Why don't you give us an anniversary party? Ha like a 10th? Wouldn't that be nice, honey? I mean, what is 10 -- bronze, sandstone, particleboard?

RORY

Actually, it's tin.

EMILY

But that's not for 10 years.

LORELAI

Giving you plenty of time to plan. [Too Rory] Tin?

RORY

Things just stick in my brain.

EMILY

Lorelai, you ought to celebrate your marriage.

LORELAI

Mum we did, we did celebrate -- right after we got married, we had a beautiful meal, didn't we?

CHRISTOPHER

We had a beautiful meal.

LORELAI

Yeah we had chocolate mousse and Para liqueur and a cheese plate.

EMILY

A cheese plate? Since when is a hunk of fermented milk a suitable means for celebrating a marriage?

LORELAI

Look mum we're good. Honestly we're celebrated out.

EMILY

But what about us?

LORELAI

Hey if you and dad want a party, it's fine by me. Buy some 40s, rent an inflatable bounce house. That's great knock yourselves out.

EMILY

Well what about Rory?

LORELAI

What about Rory?

EMILY

Rory tell me don't you think this marriage should be officially celebrated?

RORY

Well... yes, actually. I think it would be nice.

RICHARD

Christopher?

CHRISTOPHER

Well I think it would be fun. And I'm not one to turn down a free cocktail.

EMILY

Lorelai?

LORELAI

Okay, then, let's celebrate. Let's have a party.

EMILY

Wonderful. Now if we book the harbor club, we can't have more than 400. So Lorelai, I'll need a list of your people as soon as is Earthly possible -- you too, Christopher.

LORELAI

well I can give you my list right now. It's me, Chris, Rory, Logan -- if Rory wants him there -- Sookie, Jackson, and Michel.

RICHARD

That's it?

EMILY

You can invite more people than that, it's your day.

LORELAI

That's my list.

EMILY

Why don't you invite some of your charming Stars Hollow friends?

LORELAI

That's okay, mom.

MEGAN

We can make it black-tie optional, if that will help.

LORELAI

It's not because they don't have black ties.

EMILY

Suit yourself now, what do you think -- a string quartet, or something more fun, like a swing band?

PARIS

AND DOYLE'S APARTMENT

LOGAN

My god, woman, is there a book you don't own?

RORY

I'm so sorry.

DOYLE

I think I may have re-activated my scoliosis.

PARIS

Suck it up, people. That was the last of it.

LOGAN

So much for one trip, huh?

RORY

Well who knew I had nine trips' worth of stuff? Your place is so big, it made my stuff look small and inconsequential. Did I mention I'm so sorry?

LOGAN

Two copies of "The Norton Anthology"?

RORY

They were gifts. I can't get rid of gifts.

PARIS

Okay, looks like all that's left to do now is the paperwork.

RORY

Paperwork?

PARIS

The lease.

RORY

You want me to sign a lease?

PARIS

We you are subletting from me and the last time you lived here, you just up and left in the middle of the year.

RORY

Um, you kicked me out, you moved all my stuff out in the hallway and locked the door.

PARIS

Well now you'll have a legally binding contract that will negate my ability to do that in the future.

RORY

All right. What does it say? Standard boiler-plate stuff -- just sign here and here.

RORY

Mm-hmm.

PARIS

And initial here and here.

RORY

Okay. What is this? "Rights and privileges of Logan Huntzberger or any other paramours"?

PARIS

If Logan is going to be spending an in audient amount of time here, it's fair to assess a daily tariff for water and power use.

RORY

Ah, Paris!

PARIS

It's a very simple formula, based on the number of nights he spends per month in the apartment times the approximate minutes per day he spends showering, brushing his teeth, and/or surfing the internet. And Sundays no charge.

LOGAN

It's okay. I'll kick in, Paris.

PARIS

Thataboy, Rockefeller.

RORY

All right.

PARIS

Okay. Welcome back to the hood.

RORY

Thanks.

DOYLE

It's good to have you back, Rory.

RORY

Aw, thanks, Doyle.

LOGAN

Alright I better take off.

RORY

Oh, no. You just got here, and we spent the whole time moving.

LOGAN

Why don't you come in on Thursday? I've got to wine-and-dine some clients. You should join us it should be fun. We'll rack up an obscene bill at Nobu and charge it all to my dad.

RORY

Oh I can't. It's Lucy's 21st birthday. We're throwing her a big party. I was hoping you might be able to come.

LOGAN

I can't -- Nobu.

RORY

Nobu, schmobu. It's a college party. Don't you miss college parties? Our theme's 2002.

LOGAN

Why?

RORY

Just because. Why what's your theme?

LOGAN

Contracts.

RORY

Boring. 2002's so much better. Just bring your clients, and we'll let them tap the keg.

LOGAN

Rory.

RORY

Come on. It's a 2002 party, right? In 2002, you were a college freshman. You would have been bored by businessmen and thrilled to go to a party thrown by hot senior girls.

LOGAN

It's all very tempting, but I have to go.

RORY

I know.

LOGAN

I love you.

RORY

Love you, too.

PARIS

I'll put you down for half a day, Logan.

LORELAI

Good morning.

CHRISTOPHER

Well, good morning, Madame Defarge.

LORELAI

Good morning, Mr. "I remember stuff from English class in high school."

CHRISTOPHER

Can I ask how long this Mr. "Long sentence of words strung together" thing is gonna last?

LORELAI

I'm not sure, Mr. "Doesn't understand "the more annoying you tell me a bit is, the more I want to do it."

CHRISTOPHER

Look at you, knitting away, just like a proper married lady the picture of domesticity.

LORELAI

Ha ha ha.

CHRISTOPHER

So what's for breakfast, Martha Stewart? Poached eggs, blue berry muffin, oh is there gonna be fresh-squeezed orange juice? 'Cause I'd really appreciate it if you could strain the pulp.

LORELAI

Yeah I got your strained pulp right here, buddy.

CHRISTOPHER

So what exactly are you knitting?

LORELAI

It doesn't matter what I'm knitting. I'm knitting just to knit.

CHRISTOPHER

Someone's philosophical.

LORELAI

No, someone is in training for the Knit-a-thon. And we get pledged by the skein, so I'm just working on my speed.

CHRISTOPHER

"Knit-a-thon"?

LORELAI

Yeah, you didn't hear about the Knit-a-thon?

CHRISTOPHER

I did not hear about the Knit-a-thon. Do you want something?

LORELAI

Yeah. Poached eggs and some orange-juice pulp.

CHRISTOPHER

How about coffee?

LORELAI

Sold. So, we are holding a Knit-a-thon the day after tomorrow to raise money to rebuild the old muddy river bridge.

CHRISTOPHER

What's wrong with the bridge?

LORELAI

Well we rebuilt it a couple years ago, but now it's started to rot.

CHRISTOPHER

Oh yeah.

LORELAI

Yeah, it's too bad, too, 'cause it was gorgeous. We all loved, loved, loved it. It was sturdy and strong, made out of this beautiful Japanese maple – which it turns out is exactly the kind of wood that attracts beetles, and I'm not talking British-invasion kinda Beatles. I'm talking the kind of beetles that like to eat wood. So now we're gonna make it out of a less-delicious wood.

CHRISTOPHER

Ah. So, how goes the training? Are your fingers getting strong and muscly?

LORELAI

My fingers are fine. It's these needles. I keep dropping stitches 'cause they're slippery. I need non-slip needles.

CHRISTOPHER

Do they make non-slip needles?

LORELAI

I don't know but you know what I'm gonna go into town and see if anyone's selling them.

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah I'll come with.

LORELAI

No that's okay.

CHRISTOPHER

No, no. I could use some air.

LORELAI

Yeah, but I have errands to run. And ah plus I got to go to the dry cleaner's.

CHRISTOPHER

So.

LORELAI

So I don't want to subject you to Lizzie the crazy dry cleaner. It's very intense. You know she starts complaining about...

CHRISTOPHER

Why don't you want me to come into town with you?

LORELAI

Oh. Well, you know... I just want to give people... time to adjust.

CHRISTOPHER

To?

LORELAI

To you and me. I mean, I just want to be sensitive, you know? You're not who they expected, and I-I just don't want the marriage to seem sudden. You know I-I want to kind of ease them into it.

CHRISTOPHER

Is that why you didn't want to invite any of your friends to your mother's party?

LORELAI

No. Well, I mean yeah, but 90% of it was I didn't want them to have to deal with salsa dancing and the Peabody's and the Sandborn's. You know but I guess 10% is I didn't want to feel like I'm shoving our marriage down their throats.

CHRISTOPHER

By inviting them to a party?

LORELAI

So soon. I don't want it to seem like we're flaunting. You know, I want to give them time to adjust.

CHRISTOPHER

They're not gonna adjust if they never see me.

LORELAI

Yeah. You're right.

CHRISTOPHER

Come on let's go for a stroll.

LORELAI

Okay, but a stroll. Not a strut.

CHRISTOPHER

Yes I promise I will keep my chicken-walking to an absolute minimum.

LORELAI

Al right.

LUKE

How long is this gonna go on?

CAESAR

Couple more days.

LUKE

It's ridiculous already. Somebody's gonna poke an eye out.

CAESAR

You're just bumming 'cause April's gone.

LUKE

First, get your hand off my shoulder. Second, I'm not bumming, and April is not gone. She just went back to living with her mother.

CAESAR

I'm just saying, I'm feeling you, Luke.

T.J.

Luke.

LUKE

T.J.

T.J.

I need a drink.

LUKE

We don't serve alcohol.

T.J.

Well, then, anything that's carbonated. If I drink fast enough, bubbles tend to have the same effect.

LUKE

Boy what are you doing here? Is Liz okay? She's gonna have a baby at any moment.

T.J.

It's not good, Luke.

LUKE

What?

T.J.

We're having a baby at our house.

LUKE

No we talked about this. You're gonna be a great dad T.J.

T.J.

No. You don't understand. We're having a baby at our house any minute now. Liz wants to have our baby in our living room!

LUKE

What? Why? What about a hospital?

T.J.

She won't go! She's got it in her head that this should be done at home.

LUKE

My sister is gonna have her baby at home?

T.J.

[Takes a drink] She got the idea from -- phew! -- Marcy hedges, who plays the midwife at the renaissance festivals. Only Marcy has five kids -- all born in hospitals -- and now she's telling Liz how amazing and natural it is for her to do it at home.

LUKE

This is crazy.

T.J.

Liz said she had Jess at a hospital, and she wants to have this one at home. She has this a, birth coach, called a Doula. That's not her real name. Don't call her that. She's very touchy. Her real name is Sandy.

LUKE

Okay. Sandy the doula.

T.J.

Anyway, Sandy's done about 200 of these home births, and she says statistically, they're every bit as safe as hospital births.

LUKE

I can't believe she's having her baby at home.

T.J.

Anyway, she wants you to be there at the birth. She wants the baby to be born around family. So I promised I'd get you to come.

LUKE

Of course. Sure I'll be there. Just call me whenever, and I'll come right by.

T.J.

Great. [Thumbs up sign from T.J.] Thanks, Luke. [Takes a swig of the drink again] Whoo! That feels good.

LUKE

Yean alright I'll see you later, T.J. Just let me know when the water breaks. Go take care of her, all right?

T.J.

All right.

LUKE

See you, man. [Looking across the street he see Chris and Lorelai, he slams the door shut, tangled in some yarn.] That's it! All right, this diner is now a knit-free zone! Stop knitting or get the hell out!

BABETTE

Needle in, yarn around, new loop through, old loop up. Needle in, yarn around, new loop through, old loop up. Keep a gentle tension on the strand!

KIRK

Humongous needle!

TAYLOR

Careful! Just because it's decorative doesn't mean it's not sharp!

LORELAI

I don't like root beer...

CHRISTOPHER

No.

LORELAI

Not without carbonation. You want it?

CHRISTOPHER

Your used dum dum?

LORELAI

It's not used. It's vintage.

CHRISTOPHER

It was nice of Lizzie, though.

LORELAI

Yes dude, 15 minutes of perchloroethylene talk? We earned those dum dums fair and square.

BABETTE

All right, knit and purl, like brick and mortar!

LORELAI

Hey, Babette!

BABETTE

Oh, hey! [Too the ladies knitting] Keep going with the rib stitch there. [back to Lorelai] How are you, sweetheart? Hey, Christopher.

CHRISTOPHER

How you doing, Babette?

BABETTE

Congratulations on the getting-married thing. I'd give you a hug, but my hands are kind of full here. So, you eloped.

LORELAI

Yeah we were in Paris and we eloped.

BABETTE

Well that's smart, eloping. Smart. Who needs the hassle of a real wedding, you know?

LORELAI

Yeah.

BABETTE

All the planning and the fuss, so much stress.

CHRISTOPHER

Exactly.

BABETTE

Plus the dress. I mean, why would anyone want to buy a big, expensive wedding dress you could only wear once? Except for me. I got to wear mine twice. But once was for Halloween. I was the bride of chucky.

CHRISTOPHER

Oh, yeah? Did Morey go as chucky?

BABETTE

Huh?! No, he was a futuristic pirate! So, welcome to Stars Hollow!

CHRISTOPHER

Thank you. It's good to be here.

BABETTE

Uh-huh. [Back to the ladies knitting] Knit and purl!

MISS PATTY

Lorelai, Christopher, there you are.

LORELAI

Hey, patty.

MISS PATTY

I'm sorry I didn't get this to you sooner. Part of my job as town social chair is greeting all newlyweds with the Stars Hollow welcome wagon.

CHRISTOPHER

Look at all this. Thank you so much.

MISS PATTY

Just a few odds and ends from our town merchants to say "welcome."

CHRISTOPHER

This is so cool I didn't know the welcome wagon came in a real wagon.

MISS PATTY

Yeah. Well... so there you go.

CHRISTOPHER

Oh, terrific. Thank you.

LORELAI

Thank you, Patty.

MISS PATTY

So, how are you adjusting to Stars Hollow, Christopher?

CHRISTOPHER

Oh, it's terrific.

MISS PATTY

I'd bet you're bored senseless here.

CHRISTOPHER

[Laughing] No, no. Not at all.

MISS PATTY

Well there's hardly any nightlife. I mean a worldly guy like you must feel like he's out in the sticks.

CHRISTOPHER

Well, my discothequing days are mostly behind me.

MISS PATTY

Anyway, I probably should run. Enjoy the wagon.

CHRISTOPHER

Thank you.

LORELAI

Bye, Patty.

CHRISTOPHER

You want a ride?

LORELAI

No. That's okay. [Chuckles]

CHRISTOPHER

[Chuckles]

RORY

Hey.

MARTY

Hi.

RORY

Um, I have some 2002 paraphernalia here.

MARTY

Okay.

RORY

Are Lucy and Olivia home?

MARTY

No.

RORY

'Cause they said to bring this stuff by. Do you know when they'll be back?

MARTY

No.

RORY

Do you know where they went?

MARTY

Just down the hall.

LUCY

Rory!

OLIVIA

Yay! Rory's here!

RORY

Oh, hey, guys.

LUCY

You brought stuff.

RORY

As promised.

OLIVIA

Let's see.

LUCY

Boyfriend. [They kiss] Nice poster work.

MARTY

I went with double-sided tape rather than thumbtacks. I think it gives it a cleaner look.

LUCY

I think you're right. Plus, double-sided tape is so 2002. You're a genius.

MARTY

You're my inspiration.

OLIVIA

[Looking at CD's] You brought J.Lo?

RORY

Of course. And I have boots.

LUCY

Oh, my god, so did we!

OLIVIA

We are gonna ugg-up!

RORY

My feet were so much more comfortable in 2002.

LUCY

What do you think, boyfriend?

MARTY

Very Clydesdale.

LUCY

Hey, compliments only from boyfriends on birthdays.

MARTY

You're beautiful.

LUCY

Thank you.

ANNA

Hey, Luke.

LUKE

Hey, Anna. How's April doing?

ANNA

Oh she's doing great. I'm pretty sure as of Friday, she had shown her appendix scar to every one of her teachers and classmates. She's quite proud of it.

LUKE

[chuckles] I'm just glad she's doing good.

ANNA

Yeah me too. Um, can we talk in private?

LUKE

Sure. Come on up. Caesar, I'll be back!

ANNA

Oh, the place looks nice.

LUKE

April's handiwork.

ANNA

Right. She told me -- cerulean. [They sit at the table] So, um... my mom...

LUKE

Yeah. How's she doing?

ANNA

Still recovering.

LUKE

Oh.

ANNA

I think I have her care all worked out, but it is an ongoing Rubik's cube of day, night, and weekend nurses.

LUKE

Yeah that's tough.

ANNA

Especially being on the other side of the country. She's really lonely. I thought about moving her up here. But she's been living in that house for 42 years, and I just feel like it would be cruel.

LUKE

Yeah say, April can stay with me any time. Whatever you need.

ANNA

Luke... I've decided that April and I are gonna move to New Mexico.

LUKE

Oh. Really? Wow.

ANNA

I-I'm sorry, but my mother is all alone.

LUKE

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, it's, uh... wow.

ANNA

But you know it's where I grew up, so I know the area. They have a lot of really good schools.

LUKE

Yeah does, does April know?

ANNA

I told her last night.

LUKE

How's -- I mean... is she okay with it?

ANNA

Well, she's not thrilled. It'll take some getting used to, but...

LUKE

So, when? How soon?

ANNA

As soon as possible.

LUKE

Mm-hmm.

ANNA

Tina, my assistant manager, is gonna run the business for me and I've already been looking online at houses, found a nice little neighborhood.

LUKE

Huh.

ANNA

And I just to – I wanted to, you know, let you know.

LUKE

Yeah. Hey, uh, I guess you got to do what you got to do. You know I mean, when my dad was sick...

ANNA

Yeah.

LUKE

Yeah.

ANNA

Mm-hmm.

LUKE

Mm-hmm.

ANNA

I should go. [Luke nods] I have some things.

LUKE

Sure. Sure. Yeah.

SOOKIE

Drat you, you dratted spaghetti, you slippery, slithery, uncooperative...

LORELAI

am I interrupting something?

SOOKIE

No.

LORELAI

Seriously if you and spaghetti need privacy, I can come back later.

SOOKIE

In the middle of the night last night, I woke up with an idea.

LORELAI

Yeah.

SOOKIE

For days, I've been trying to figure out what to serve at my Knit-a-thon booth, right? So, it's 2:00 A.M. Flash! I have a vision. Balls of yarn made out of spaghetti, with breadsticks stuck in the middle, like knitting needles. It's brilliant! Brilliant! Horrible!

LORELAI

Not that appetizing. Why don't you just make regular spaghetti?

SOOKIE

'Cause that's not theme-y.

LORELAI

Oh.

SOOKIE

Why are you in early? I thought you were not coming in till late.

LORELAI

Well, I was, but I had some paperwork and...

SOOKIE

And, um...

LORELAI

Christopher and I just walked through town.

SOOKIE

And?

LORELAI

Everyone was very cordial.

SOOKIE

Ooh. Cordial?

LORELAI

Yes. They said hello. They shook his hand. They welcomed him to Stars Hollow.

SOOKIE

Jeez, really? Cordial?

LORELAI

Yes. Creepy, right? I saw miss patty and Babette. Neither one of them pinched his butt.

SOOKIE

Well honey, you married an outsider.

LORELAI

I know.

SOOKIE

We just -- we all thought you and Luke...

LORELAI

I knew people thought me and Luke. I thought me and Luke. But it's not me and Luke. It's me and Christopher.

SOOKIE

I know. It's just – people really loved you and Luke.

LORELAI

Right but it's not their life. It's my life. And frankly I don't see why I should have to go around feeling bad that my life didn't turn out the way everybody wanted it to.

SOOKIE

I know...

LORELAI

I'm sick of it. I really am. And, look, I understand that you liked Luke and you're not so sure about Christopher, but, Sookie, you're my best friend. I really need your support here. I - I mean, Christopher is my husband, and it would be great if you would just get on board.

SOOKIE

Okay.

LORELAI

Okay?

SOOKIE

Yeah I'm on board. I mean what do you need? I'll swab the deck, I'll hoist the sail -- anything nautical.

LORELAI

Okay I need you to help me get the rest of the town on board.

SOOKIE

Okay.

LORELAI

Okay what do we do?

SOOKIE

We need a campaign.

LORELAI

Right. A campaign.

SOOKIE

Oh, he could walk Paul Anka around town. Cute guy, cute dog -- very appealing.

LORELAI

Paul Anka's not good with sidewalks -- sensitive paws. He could pull him in the welcome wagon -- or Jackson.

SOOKIE

You want him to pull Jackson around on a wagon?

LORELAI

No maybe he and Jackson could do something together. You know Jackson's got a lot of clout. If people see that Jackson likes Christopher, then maybe they'll like Christopher.

SOOKIE

You think Jackson's got a lot of clout?

LORELAI

Jackson has tons of clout. He's lousy with clout.

SOOKIE

Okay. What should they do?

LORELAI

Something where they'll be seen.

SOOKIE

Ooh, how about a movie?

LORELAI

Too dark.

SOOKIE

Yeah, yeah.

LORELAI

Pancakes at Al's?

SOOKIE

Jackson is off of wheat. But, ooh, how about country night at miss patty's?

LORELAI

Chris and Jackson?

SOOKIE

Well I mean, Jackson is a fiendish two-stepper, but he's handsy.

LORELAI

What do regular guys do?

SOOKIE

Grunt?

LORELAI

Scratch?

SOOKIE

Leave the toilet seat up?

LORELAI

Talk about sports?

SOOKIE

Talk about cars?

LORELAI

Burp?

SOOKIE

Beer!

LORELAI

Drink beer.

SOOKIE

At Casey's!

LORELAI

Perfect.

SOOKIE

Oh, like manly.

LORELAI

Simple.

SOOKIE

Ooh! And while they're scratching and grunting, we can actual go do something fun.

LORELAI

Country night at miss Patty's.

SOOKIE

Mm-hmm. Hee-haw.

LUKE

So, what are you up for tonight? I was thinking we could rent "A Brief History of Time" again. Maybe I'll understand something more than the credits.

APRIL

Sure.

LUKE

Look... your mom told me you were moving.

APRIL

To New Mexico.

LUKE

Yeah it's not so bad. You've been there visiting your grandma before, right?

APRIL

I don't want to move to the desert! It's just, there aren't even any seasons! It's just it's hot, and it's a miserable place, that and I hate it!

LUKE

April let's take a walk. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

LUKE

Look I know you're a little upset, but this could be a really good thing – I mean the new people you'll meet, the teachers you'll impress.

APRIL

I'll never see my friends again.

LUKE

Oh of course you will – breaks from school over the summer.

APRIL

No, Janie Freedman moved to Virginia at the end of last year 'cause her dad got some teaching job. And she said she'd stay in touch with everybody, and she did for like a week. And the after that nobody ever heard from her again.

LUKE

It doesn't have to be like that.

APRIL

We're moving 2,000 miles away! That's how it's gonna work! Mom is ruining my life!

LUKE

April.

APRIL

You know I'm finally happy. I finally have friends. It took me forever, and now I'm just gonna be that weird, dorky loser girl all over again!

LUKE

I know. Come on. It's gonna be fine.

PARIS

AND DOYLE'S APARTMENT

PARIS

I don't get it.

RORY

What?

PARIS

2002 party.

RORY

It's a theme.

PARIS

How is that a theme?

RORY

It's just supposed to be funny.

PARIS

I'm not laughing.

RORY

Well you don't have to go.

PARIS

Why not 2001?

RORY

It could be 2001, I guess.

PARIS

"Space Odyssey" -- that's a theme. People dress up like astronauts or apes.

RORY

I don't know what to tell you, Paris.

PARIS

Will there be dancing?

RORY

Yes there will be dancing.

PARIS

What kind of dancing?

RORY

I don't know. 2002 dancing?

PARIS

So we're talking mostly hip-hop.

RORY

Paris you don't have to hip-hop-dance at this party.

PARIS

I can hip-hop-dance. Don't you worry. Doyle and I will be scorching the floorboards.

RORY

Looking forward to that. [Answering phone] Hi, mom.

LORELAI

So what are you gonna pledge me?

RORY

Um, in the Knit-a-thon?

LORELAI

Yeah what do you say -- 10 bucks a skein?

RORY

How about $5?

LORELAI

So, $15?

RORY

Make it $3.

LORELAI

$20 a skein?

RORY

A buck 50.

LORELAI

25 smackeroos?

RORY

75 cents.

LORELAI

We have no idea how to haggle, do we.

RORY

No idea. Why don't you just put me down for $30 even?

LORELAI

I will not take less than $30, and then you got a done deal.

RORY

The best I can do is $30.

LORELAI

Alright you give me $30, and it's a deal.

RORY

Do I have to pledge dad, too?

LORELAI

No, no he's just a spectator. You know what he's doing? He's going on a man-date with Jackson.

RORY

Cute. A mandated man-date?

LORELAI

Yes, it was suggested enthusiastically. What is that you're listening to?

RORY

[Laughing] That's Paris. She and Doyle are threatening to scorch the floorboards at Lucy's party.

LORELAI

Aw. Poor floorboards. He ah, how did the party prep go?

RORY

Good. We're just about ready to party like it's 2002. There's just one thing -- this whole Marty debacle. It's just so annoying to be around him.

LORELAI

Is he still acting all cold and weird?

RORY

Beyond cold and beyond weird.

LORELAI

Well you're a hard one to get over kid you know. He probably just feels bad. When guys feel rejected, they act all cold and weird.

RORY

Yeah but I rejected him, if that's even what happened, years ago. I mean isn't there a statute of limitations for being a jerk?

LORELAI

Well Marty just probably feels awkward. Maybe you should try to be nice.

RORY

He's not exactly being nice to me.

LORELAI

Well, you have to be the bigger person.

RORY

Why doesn't he be the bigger person?

LORELAI

Because you're 11 feet tall and he's a mere mortal.

RORY

I hate being 11 feet tall.

LORELAI

I know. It's hell finding jeans that fit, huh? [Chris comes down stairs] Uh I got to go. I got a man-date fashion disaster.

RORY

Alright I'll talk to you later.

LORELAI

So, uh, $30 a skein?

RORY

Total -- $30 total.

LORELAI

Yeah. [Hangs up, talking to Chris] Hey.

CHRISTOPHER

W-what?

LORELAI

Is that what you're wearing?

CHRISTOPHER

What, what's wrong with what I'm wearing?

LORELAI

Nothing. It's just that it's, um...

CHRISTOPHER

What?

LORELAI

...Black.

CHRISTOPHER

It's a black shirt.

LORELAI

Yeah.

CHRISTOPHER

Okay, then.

LORELAI

It's very Joaquin phoenix at the Oscars.

CHRISTOPHER

I have no clue what that means.

LORELAI

It's very fitted.

CHRISTOPHER

I should wear a shirt that doesn't fit?

LORELAI

No.

CHRISTOPHER

Should I tuck it in?

LORELAI

No!

CHRISTOPHER

Why are you grimacing at this shirt?!

LORELAI

Um... I don't know. Maybe it's not the best thing to wear on your man-date with Jackson.

CHRISTOPHER

Okay first of all, if you say "man-date" one more time, there is no way in hell I am leaving this house. And second, last I knew, I was about to go have a beer with a farmer. I don't think it really matters what I'm wearing.

LORELAI

um it is very important that you make a good impression.

CHRISTOPHER

Lore come on how great did our walk through town go? You were worried about that, and everybody was nice.

LORELAI

They were nice.

CHRISTOPHER

It went great.

LORELAI

Eh.

CHRISTOPHER

Didn't it?

LORELAI

Nah.

CHRISTOPHER

What are you saying?

LORELAI

I'm saying it didn't go so great. They were cordial, they were polite.

CHRISTOPHER

But the wagon...

LORELAI

Was full of cleaning supplies and shoe trees. When Claude and Michael Davies got married, they got handmade clothing and homemade baked goods, and ah the pizza guy whittled them bookends in the shape of Senegalese tigers. That's a welcome wagon. We got a "we're tolerating that you're here" wagon. Sorry.

CHRISTOPHER

So, going out with Jackson is important because... ?

LORELAI

Jackson is loved. Jackson is respected. If you're in with Jackson, if you're in with Stars Hollow.

CHRISTOPHER

Okay, maybe I could wear the gray polo shirt.

LORELAI

[Gasps] I love that idea!

CHRISTOPHER

What about the jeans?

LORELAI

They're fine. They're just a little tight.

CHRISTOPHER

All right, I'll change the jeans.

LORELAI

Oh.

CHRISTOPHER

The shoes?

LORELAI

Ugh.

CHRISTOPHER

All right, I'll change the shoes. I hate to say this out loud, but all of a sudden, I'm very nervous about my man-date with a farmer.

LORELAI

You're gonna be great. Not too much stuff in the hair!

JACKSON

So, what do you think?

CHRISTOPHER

I'm down with any place where you can throw your peanut shells on the floor.

JACKSON

Not exactly a Manhattan hot spot.

CHRISTOPHER

A beer in Stars Hollow tastes just as good as a beer in Soho, and it's a hell of a lot cheaper.

JACKSON

It's a microbrew. They brew it right here on the premises.

CHRISTOPHER

Ah. Wow.

CHRISTOPHER

So, what's your best crop? Do you have a favorite?

JACKSON

Ah, don't get me started. I love them all. But it has been a standout eggplant year. Do you like eggplant?

CHRISTOPHER

Yep.

JACKSON

Don't say another word. I am your eggplant connection.

CHRISTOPHER

Guess I'm gonna have to get rid of my other guy, then. [Chuckling] It's just -- it's just a joke. [Chuckles nervously]

JACKSON

Oh. Yeah. [Chuckles]

JACKSON

So, you and Lorelai, huh?

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah.

JACKSON

That's quite an achievement. I mean, many have tried, many have failed.

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah, I feel pretty lucky.

JACKSON

You know what I love about farming? The commitment. [Chris nods in agreement] No shortcuts, no quitting. You have got to be there for your crops morning, noon, and night. I mean you can have the greatest soil and perfect seeds, but if you are not 100% committed, you might as well pave over those 32 acres and build yourself a strip mall. You know what I mean.

CHRISTOPHER

It's a lot of responsibility.

JACKSON

It sure is.

CHRISTOPHER

It sounds like you really love farming.

JACKSON

I do. Sookie and I, we both do.

CHRISTOPHER

Me too.

ANNA

Yeah. If you want to come by, I'll be in all afternoon. Great. I'll see you then. Bye. [Hangs up, too Luke] Hey.

LUKE

Thanks for coming.

ANNA

Sure. What's up?

LUKE

Well, April -- she's pretty upset.

ANNA

Yeah, I know.

LUKE

I just wanted to make sure we were doing everything we could to make it as easy as you know it could be for her.

ANNA

So what have you got in mind?

LUKE

Okay well, I was thinking. Instead of pulling her out in the middle of the school year, maybe you could wait to move till the end of the school year?

ANNA

And you don't think I thought about that.

LUKE

No you could go back and forth, and still be there for you mum and I could help covering for April here.

ANNA

No, I have to be out there full time as soon as possible, Luke.

LUKE

Oh well, she could stay with me to finish the year. She's already been with me for two months, you know? I'd love it. It would be great, actually.

ANNA

Luke, I know you mean well, but that's not gonna happen okay. I'm not splitting apart from April for six months.

LUKE

No, I understand. Okay, so, maybe you know we could buy her some plane tickets so, so she'll know she's going back and forth and when?

ANNA

We can't make that plan now.

LUKE

No it doesn't have to include everything. But, like, I already told her she could stay with me for spring break and part of the summer, so if...

ANNA

Whoa. You told her that? You actually said that?

LUKE

Yeah.

ANNA

I have no idea what we'll be doing then.

LUKE

I just assumed that...

ANNA

You have no right making promises to my daughter.

LUKE

I just wanted her...

ANNA

I don't want you talking to her about this again. Are we clear?

LUKE

Anna.

ANNA

No, Luke. Listen, these are my decisions. I'm not gonna have you going behind my back, making promises to April that I can't keep.

LUKE

So, are you saying she's not coming back?

ANNA

I am saying I'm not ready to make decisions. And they are my decisions to make, not yours, Luke. Now I'm gonna go.

LUKE

Hello?

T.J.

It's showtime, Luke!

LUKE

What the hell's going on over there? Is Liz okay?

T.J.

She's amazing! We're having a baby, baby! It's beautiful! You got to get over here.

LUKE

I'm on my way!

KIRK

Free needles. Free for everyone. Free needles! Free needles!

LORELAI

See? Who says Stars Hollow's not progressive? Hey.

SOOKIE

Hey, you guys.

CHRISTOPHER

Hey, Jackson. What's up? [They shake hands]

JACKSON

Hey. How's it going? Wednesday night -- we still on to watch the game?

CHRISTOPHER

Sounds good.

LORELAI

Alright we're gonna stake out some prime knitting real estate.

JACKSON

See you later.

SOOKIE

Save us a spot!

LORELAI

We will. You're seeing Jackson Wednesday, huh?

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah, we were thinking maybe.

LORELAI

I guess that could work.

CHRISTOPHER

What do you mean?

LORELAI

I have some other plans for you.

CHRISTOPHER

Plans?

LORELAI

Yeah you got bird-watching with Morey, darts with Andrew. Ooh, and Glenn Belkin wanted to have coffee with you. He is the head coach of the peewee little league teams.

CHRISTOPHER

Oh, yeah?

LORELAI

Yes. He thinks he might have a plum assistant-coaching job for you.

CHRISTOPHER

Assistant coach, huh?

LORELAI

Um-mm, all right, I'm feeling the knitting vibes right here.

CHRISTOPHER

Well okay.

MISS PATTY

Hello, hello!

BABETTE

Hiya, kids. Boy, it's a chilly one, huh?

TAYLOR

[At a podium] Welcome, fair citizens of Stars Hollow. We come together on this glorious autumnal day to rescue our beloved muddy river bridge. And the knitting will commence at precisely 10:00 A.M., And we will knit unceasingly until our long day's journey ends at the stroke of 10:00 P.M.

KIRK

Taylor, 10:00 A.M. Is 40 seconds away.

TAYLOR

What? No. I've got 3 1/2 more minutes. I've timed this speech to last exactly 3 1/2 minutes. Um, a bridge is not merely a feat of engineering and architecture. A bridge is also a metaphor.

KIRK

Taylor, I'm sorry. Your watch is wrong. I have precise atomic clock time. 28 seconds.

BABETTE

I'm with Kirk! 26 seconds!

TAYLOR

But I just got this watch.

KIRK

Make that 22, 21.

MAN

20.

TAYLOR

As I was saying, [Speaking very fast] a bridge is a metaphor, a meeting place between here and there, between the past and the future. The Golden Gate, the Brooklyn... to raise funds... our duty as citizens!

KIRK

Nine seconds!

TAYLOR

Real-time accounting of the funds approved.

KIRK

Seven seconds!

TAYLOR

As we strive toward...

KIRK

6...

THE WHOLE CROWED

[Chanting over Taylor as he continues to speak] 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

TAYLOR

Oh, fine! Go ahead and knit!

LUCY

[too some guests] Thank you! Thanks so much.

RORY

Hey.

LUCY

Hi.

RORY

How are you enjoying your first legal drink?

LUCY

Third, actually. I like it, although I kind of miss being a lawbreaker.

RORY

[Chuckles]

LUCY

Oh, my god. It's Paris Geller.

RORY

I told you.

LUCY

You totally delivered. Who's the dude?

RORY

That's her boyfriend, Doyle.

LUCY

I'm fascinated.

RORY

Well go talk to her.

LUCY

Really?

RORY

It's your party.

LUCY

How do I look?

RORY

You look tiara'ed, 21, and fabulous.

LUCY

[Too Paris and Doyle] Hi! Thank you for coming to my party.

PARIS

Nice party...

RORY

Barkeep, I'll have an upside-down tequila slammer with a twist.

MARTY

I don't know how to make that.

RORY

Yeah, I just made it up.

MARTY

Oh.

RORY

Really? Is this the way it's gonna be? I say something, and you grunt and make me feel like an idiot, really that's it?

MARTY

What do you want me to say?

RORY

Well, what I would like you to say is that you've put me in a really difficult position, and the least you can do is not be a jerk about it.

MARTY

I'm sorry.

RORY

Yeah?

MARTY

Yeah.

RORY

So you're done being a jerk?

MARTY

Y-yeah, I-I'm done.

RORY

Good.

MARTY

So you still want that upside-down tequila slammer?

RORY

With a twist.

MARTY

[Chuckles] Right. Probably has tequila in it.

RORY

Yeah.

MARTY

Um, the upside-down part, I'll have to improvise. But the slammer and the twist are pretty straightforward. You might want to stand back.

RORY

Oh, okay.

CROWD

Go, Paris! Go, Paris! Go, Paris! Go, Paris! Go, Paris! [Cheering]

LIZ

AND T.J.'S HOUSE

T.J.

Shh! It's okay, sweet girl.

LUKE

Y-you sure about the name "Doula"?

T.J.

She's such a Doula. Isn't that right, gorgeous?

LIZ

It's cute, right?

LUKE

Yeah no, no.

T.J.

What's that, Doula? [High-pitched] I want my uncle Luke to hold me.

LUKE

[Chuckles]

T.J.

You heard her.

LUKE

Oh, no, no, no. You keep her.

T.J.

[High-pitched] Please! Uncle Lukey!

LUKE

No, really, really, really, I don't have...

LIZ

Come on Luke.

T.J.

Come on

LUKE

I-I don't have to.

T.J.

[Imitating crying] I want my uncle Lukey to hold me!

LUKE

Okay. Okay.

T.J.

[Normal voice] Here you go, Doula.

LUKE

Hey, Doula.

T.J.

Isn't she beautiful? Look at her eyes. She's got Liz's eyes.

LIZ

It's true.

T.J.

Ah and -- and aunt Sissy's chin, right? That's totally sissy's chin.

LIZ

No, Sissy was adopted.

T.J.

So?

LIZ

So.

T.J.

Ohh! Well, I-I don't know how she does it, but she's got her chin.

LIZ

[Chuckles] What do you think, Luke?

LUKE

[Smiling] She's great.

T.J.

That's your uncle Luke. And Luke's daughter is your cousin April. Now, I bet April is gonna be your number-one babysitter. Am I right, Luke?

LUKE

Yeah. Sure.

TAYLOR

$2,200! Not bad, people! Not good, exactly, but not bad. And we have seven more hours to make up the rest, so keep on knitting! And as you do, think of the bridge!

CHRISTOPHER

Who wants coffee?

LORELAI

Is that a rhetorical question?

MISS PATTY

Thank you, Christopher. We're not gonna make it, are we?

BABETTE

Not without doping.

LORELAI

You guys don't talk like that! Think of the bridge. We'll never be able to look it in the I-bar again if we let it down.

JACKSON

How's it going?

SOOKIE

Well I can't tell if my hands are cramping or numb, but they just keep knitting. So I guess I'm trying not to think about it, although I guess, right now, I am thinking about it.

MISS PATTY

Maybe scheduling an outdoor event in November wasn't such a great move.

LORELAI

It was a great move -- a Fred-and-Ginger-type move, it's just a brisk fall day.

BABETTE

Nah, it's a bad move, but it's part of a great tradition of bad moves by Taylor.

TAYLOR

Could I have everyone's attention, please? I just received a donation of $7,800! Thanks very much to Stars Hollow's newest resident, Christopher Hayden, for bringing us up to our goal of $10,000!

LORELAI

Honey?

BABETTE

Christopher, you did that?

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah.

MISS PATTY

Well, yeah, I... well, tha-- thank you. Uh, I-it was really...

SOOKIE

Generous. It's generous, right?

BABETTE

Yeah, generous.

SOOKIE

Thanks, Christopher.

CHRISTOPHER

You're welcome. I just figured...

MISS PATTY

So what do we stop knitting now?

TAYLOR

Okay pack it up, people.

MISS PATTY

I guess we stop knitting now.

TAYLOR

We've reached our goal. Our work is done here. If we get that llama back in the next half-hour, we're gonna save a bundle.

LORELAI

Wait, wait you guy, what are you doing? W-why are you leaving?

MISS PATTY

You heard Taylor.

LORELAI

Yeah but nobody ever listens to Taylor. Come on we got to keep knitting, there's seven more hours.

BABETTE

What's the point?!

LORELAI

The point is, it's fun. It's a festival. We haven't even gotten rowdy, we haven't even wrapped Taylor in yarn yet.

SOOKIE

Like a big Taylor cozy.

LORELAI

Yeah.

BABETTE

We already got all the money. Thanks very much, Christopher.

CHRISTOPHER

You're welcome.

LORELAI

Gypsy?

GYPSY

7,800 buckaroos. Wow. You must really love bridges, Christopher.

LORELAI

What are you doing?

GYPSY

I'm gonna go catch a movie.

LORELAI

Wait a minute. Where is your Stars Hollow spirit, huh? Where's the love of knitting just for knitting's sake?

GYPSY

At the movies?

LORELAI

[Exhales]

SOOKIE

Sorry, honey.

LORELAI

Yeah.

MISS PATTY

I wonder what's playing.

BABETTE

I don't know but I'll bet it's nice and toasty in there. Thanks again, Christopher.

CHRISTOPHER

Sure. Happy to help.

TAYLOR

Okay, let's get those needles down! And careful, there, fellas! Just because they're decorative doesn't mean they're not sharp.

RORY

How is she still dancing?

OLIVIA

Paris?

RORY

No -- Lucy. Paris I understand, 'cause Paris has been training for this like it's an Olympic event.

OLIVIA

[Chuckles]

RORY

But Lucy, Lucy weighs 11 pounds, and I'm pretty sure most of that is tequila by now.

OLIVIA

The girl loves to move.

RORY

uh-mm. Oh, buzz-cut boys going through.

OLIVIA

Mmm! I'm going in. I've got time for one or two more awkward interactions before the night is through.

MARTY

[Sitting on the couch] The bar is closed!

RORY

You finally quit.

MARTY

Nope, just ran out of booze.

RORY

I think I drank most of it. That upside twisted slammer was living up to its name, man. I don't know if I'm more twisted or slammed.

MARTY

I'm both. I think I had three of them. Or was it four?

RORY

You know, the last time I saw you drunk, you were passed out and naked outside my dorm room.

MARTY

So, the truth comes out after all these years. You checked me out.

RORY

I did not. No it was uncomfortable and weird.

MARTY

Well, it's for the best. I was quite the scrawny freshman. I think I actually weighed 98 pounds.

RORY

[Laughs]

MARTY

But, you know, now...

RORY

Oh you've been working out.

MARTY

Can't you tell? I'm huge. I'm massive. I'm Marty Schwarzenegger.

RORY

I can tell. You're looking good.

MARTY

And you are more beautiful than ever.

RORY

Um, you should be out there with Lucy.

LUCY

Hi!

CHRISTOPHER

Why should I feel bad that I donated $7,000 to help save the bridge?

LORELAI

You shouldn't.

CHRISTOPHER

I don't. I thought the point was to save the bridge.

LORELAI

Well, the point was to save it with knitting.

CHRISTOPHER

That doesn't make any...

LORELAI

I know it doesn't make any sense. That's Stars Hollow. That's just how it is. It's hard for outsiders to understand.

HONOR

So I'm an outsider?

LORELAI

For now.

CHRISTOPHER

I thought I was doing a good thing.

LORELAI

I know you just don't have to drop all that money like that.

CHRISTOPHER

I know I don't have to.

LORELAI

I mean you don't have to try so hard to get people to like you.

CHRISTOPHER

[Laughing]

LORELAI

What.

CHRISTOPHER

That's funny.

LORELAI

Why?

CHRISTOPHER

'Cause you're the one who's making me try so hard. [Lorelai gasps] Bird-watching, backgammon, darts, assistant-managing a peewee baseball team?

LORELAI

Oh I just want...

CHRISTOPHER

I know. You want people to like me. You know what? I'm a likable guy. I always have been. I may not be the smartest guy or the toughest guy, but I'm the guy that people like.

LORELAI

You are.

CHRISTOPHER

And you know why people in Stars Hollow are gonna like me?

LORELAI

Why?

CHRISTOPHER

Because I love you. And I'm gonna be here, loving you.

LORELAI

You are?

CHRISTOPHER

You bet. You know, when you're a farmer, you got to be there for your crops. It's not about the seeds or the soil. It's about being there, being committed, all day, every day, forever.

LORELAI

Farmer, huh?

CHRISTOPHER

Why not?

LORELAI

You know what, Mr. "Doesn't seem like he knows what he's talking about but is actually pretty wise"?

CHRISTOPHER

What's that, Mrs. "Goes through 500 emotions every hour of the day"?

LORELAI

I love you a lot.

CHRISTOPHER

Yeah, you're okay, too.

ANNA

Hey.

LUKE

Hey.

ANNA

April's not here.

LUKE

I know. She's sleeping at Gabrielle Wilder's tonight.

ANNA

So, what's up?

LUKE

I also know that Gabrielle has a peanut allergy, and before I drop her off, I check that April isn't packing a snickers bar. I also know that she likes Gabby's coin collection, so I thought I might take her over to a coin shop in Stamford, 'cause she'd like it.

ANNA

What are you doing here, Luke?

LUKE

You're always telling me I can't do this with your daughter and that I can't do that with your daughter. Well, she's not just your daughter, Anna. She's my daughter, too.

ANNA

Luke...

LUKE

No. No. I know I wasn't around for all those years. But, you know, that was your decision. That was your choice, Anna. And, frankly, it was a damn lousy one. Okay I didn't get to see her born or take her first steps or take her to her first day of school -- none of it. And I can never get any of that back. It's gone! That's not gonna happen anymore. That, I can guarantee you.

ANNA

What are you saying?

LUKE

That she's my kid, all right? She's our kid. She's not just yours. And I'm not gonna let you treat me this way. I'm her father. God, why do I even have to say that? I mean, April and I, we have this relationship, okay? A-and you can't just decide things. That's not how this works, okay? I mean we have to make decisions together, decisions about April. And I will fight you. I will fight you for that, Anna, if I have to. I have rights. I'm her father, and I have rights.